Friday, June 24, 2005

On Thank You's and how Tommy Thompson helps a guy with the ladies June 24th

True story:

On our first date many moons ago, my future wife and I went out to eat. Being the shy guy I was at the time, I didn't talk much during the meal.

By 'much' I mean 'almost not at all'. I think I said four words.

[Five if you count 'hello']

As you can imagine, this ticked her off. "This is a waste of my time. I'm going to finish my meal,then I'm going to take you home, and I don't ever want to see you again," she said.

A palm reader she was not.

What she was at the time was a liberal Democrat who (gasp, gag) had worked on the Clinton campaign. After her little declaration of intent, she decided to turn the meal into her political soapbox. It soon became apparent that the only thing we had in common was the hope that the date would hurry up and end.

And then she did it. She stepped over the line and slurred then-Governor Tommy Thompson.

No way I was going to let her defame the greatest Governor in Wisconsin history. Not on my watch.

No one puts Tommy in the corner.

So I came out swinging. After an hour of spirited and sometimes bloody debate, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her house.

[personal note: I played that line off to imply some hanky-panky, but the truth of it is she needed to stop by her parent's house to pick up her Book of the Month order. I like my version better]

And the rest, as they say, is history.

I bring this up for two reasons. One, to prove that chicks can't resist a man that follows Tommy. And two, to show that, traditionally, I'm really bad at small talk.

Small talk being defined as, say, responding to comments on my journal.

I've enjoyed all the attention I've received since being named AOL's guest editor last week, even if I inadvertently started a little controversy.

[personal revelation: ironically, that was the same day I learned I failed to make the cut in the Journal-Sentinel's open audition for a columnist. All the congrats from J-Land helped soften the blow of that rejection. It would have softened it more if AOL had offered me some money along with the title, but what can you do?]

I've read all the great comments - heck, I've done everything but frame the suckers and put them on the wall - butI get the worst case of writers block when it comes time to respond to them.

Rest assured, I'll visit every journalist/blogger that commented and return the favor on their site. If you didn't leave a url behind and I can't track one down, I'll send a short little email your way.

It might take awhile, but it'll get done.

Oh, and if (out of courtesy) I can get his permission, I'll post a great letter I got from the author of one of the sites I featured. As it is there's been some nice thank-you's - some on the blogs themselves, and one in the Non-AOL comments.

As for Slapinions, you might see a slight drop-off in production over the summer. I've really got to concentrate on landing a paying gig, and besides that I've let my novel slide for too long.

Ah, who are we kidding? I seem incapable of not posting here.

[web author secret: if worse comes to worse, I can always post pics of the kids]

Anyhow, thanks again.


Comment on this Post(non-AOL)          View Comments


alphawoman1 said...

Glad you enjoyed your reign.  Sorry about you not getting the guest columnist gig.  Seems right up your alley. Look forward to all your posts.

rap4143 said...

AOL made the right choice for their VERY FIRST guest editor :).

psychfun said... that is what we have to do to get you guys to talk! ;-) I'll keep that in mind in the future!

Careful admitting politicians are getting the ladies...they'll want a cut on it! Or some "journalist" (used very liberally here!) will twist it into something more! Big surprise though! Ha!

So who won the debate that evening, or is it still going on! :-) "At the time"? She is not a liberal Democrat anymore?

Great advice for guys (or women) avoid small talk...waste of time...go to "big talk!"

cw2smom said... should go apply to be a guest blogger at John Scalzi's Whatever blog!  I think you'd do great and the exposure would be outstanding...something like thousands of hits in one day!  Good luck!  Lisa

slapinions said...

Date: 2005-06-24 16:42:40

Name: LoveTheException
Web Site: Love The Exception
Site Rating: 10
Visitor Comments: Thanks for stopping by man. It's nice to see that despite differing political opinions we still agree that the world (and pop-culture) can be a pretty absurd place. Remember that from a humorists point of view political extremes and hyperbolic opinions usually make people laugh. I know it's a shades of grey world. As long as people remember to laugh we'll be okay in the long run, I think. Cheers, and happy blogging.

slapinions said...

Entry Date: 2005-06-24 10:03:00

Name: Porkchop
Web Site: the new white meat
Site Rating: 9
Visitor Comments:
Wait a minute... did I read that right? She was going to take you home?!? You didn't drive her?

Please tell me I misunderstood.

But, in any event, apparently that approach works too. =)