This time last year, along with most of the universe, I posted list of New Years Resolutions. Unlinke most of the universe, mine occasionally crossed the line into 'bawdy', for which I humbly apologize.
Before I go about lising what I'll fail to accomplish in 2006, I'd like to revisit the unfufilled dreams of 2005.
I will lose weight by exercising more and practicing self-control of my eating habits. I will go to the gym on a regular basis. I will also quit smoking.
Uh, yeah. I think I'll finish the year ten pounds heavier, and while I quit smoking (about a dozen times) it remains a monkey on my back.
I will learn to braid my daughter's hair. Nope.
I will figure out how to transfer my home videos to DVD's using my computer Nope. Sensing a trend here?
I will attend church more often Yup, 'tho in fairness the bar was set pretty low in '04.
I will help my wife catch up on our children's scrapbooks. No, well, sorta . . I consider this blog a scrapbook of sorts.
I will no longer invest hope, excitement, or expectations in my Milwaukee Brewers Well, be proud, I accomplished this - and in return they posted the first non-losing season in 12 years.
I will make every effort to secure publication of my writing, and will accept rejection with renewed determination No, and no.
I will read a hundred books. Try twenty or fewer - I was behind the pace but still a'tryin' in June, but after getting that promotion I managed only one the rest of the year.
I will take the extra time to relearn my parenting skills to benefit my son. I don't know - ask my wife.
I will not lose any more teeth in the coming year What a depressing list of failures. I lost an abcessed tooth on the 5th of July.
I will attend an out-of-state baseball game with my Dad Sigh.
I will make some effort at mental improvement Well, I did watch a lot of the National Geographic Channel.
I will successfully find a better paying, safer, more challenging day job. Done. Good thing it was probably the most important thing on the list, or this whole thing would be a wash.
Ok, enough of the past. May I present Slapinions Rambling List of Likely Unattainable but certainly Doable New Years Resolutions (Had I Only a Smidgen of Ambition And Personal Will Power) 2006 Edition.
Except for the Brewers' thingy, ditto 2005's resolutions. Yay for me. In additon
Repair the videocamera/christmas tree stand
Finish my dang book
Boost revenue at my business 10% (minimum), with an overall goal of a 33% increase
Move into a better neighborhood, with more room for the kids.
Take my first real vacation in years; hopefully, a 10th anniversary cruise
Pick up XM radio so I can binge on MLB games this summer
Okay, that's enough rope to hang myself. To everyone out there, a safe and happy 2006!