Saturday, November 8, 2008

Man, even the happy clouds have gray linings :)

I just caught the first (online) version of the article announcing the new group of Journal-Sentinel guest columnists. My blurb is the same short, stiff, and awful sentence they originally proposed. I quote:

Daniel Slap-, 34, of Milwaukee manages [recacted]. He is married.


Gee-zeus, just write 'Dan Slap is a bore' why don't you?

They said if anyone submitted an alternate version by Friday morning it would be changed. I sent mine Thursay. I presented two options:

Dan Slap-, 34, of Milwaukee, is a [x] manager and the father of four children age seven and under.


And the more snarky, wise-ass Dan you know and tolerate:

Dan Slap-, 34, of Milwaukee, is a [x] manager and the father of four children age seven and under. A blogger for many years, his wife would like to point out that the time he devotes to his writing 'career' is mainly just an excuse to avoid changing diapers.


Obviously, I'm being a primadonna here. Just as obvious, I'm annoyed. Maybe this was an early draft, and the print version will be updated? Maybe? Do ya think?

6 comments:

Astaryth said...

I like your second version the best ;p I hope that the print version is changed and uses that one.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Hope they change the print version and use the second one. Your revised first one does not mention your wife.

Beth said...

I hope they change it. I'm with both Astaryth and Ken in liking your second one, which shows that you didn't raise the kids in a Petri dish. ;)

Seriously, I hope they change it. Tell them, "Throw me a bone here, people!"

Beth

Jeanne said...

I too like the second version, keep us posted.

Lidian said...

I like the second one too. Although it is a shame that you can't put in some fun facts about yourself or something, like they sometimes have on book jackets (although not always, of course!)

IPBookReviewer said...

Go somewhere else...