American Zombie

Whatever you may think of the casual tone I write with on Slapinions, rest assured I'm the same guy who regularly cranked out thesis papers galore. That includes one monster that was distributed in graduate classes by a professor who used it as an example of 'ideal post-grad work'.

Point being, I can spin the academic lingo, which can at times include a heavy dose of bullshit. If need be I can wax poetic on how vitally important wax paper has been to the development of the American judicial system in western Maine, or how necessary Scooby Doo was for the establishment of feminist thought in Nebraska.

Eh, it's a gift.

But I can't, I just CANNOT, come up with a deep and symbolic interpretation for any bit of this gawdawful film.

American Zombie is a mockumentary about Zombies trying to 'make it' in the realm of everyday American life. Around the time you wake up from the second or third nap you take watching it, the film crew runs into trouble at an all-Zombie retreat and it morphs into a ho-hum horror movie.

On Amazon you'll find someone in academia who tried, ever so hard, to make this all fit into a neat, tidy, intentional work of 'deep' art.

Bullshit. It was a catchy idea rendered dull and senseless by a bunch of Zombies who are not funny, entertaining, scary, or for that matter even very Zombie-like.

Please, for the love of God, leave this movie on the shelf.

1.0 out of 4