The 4th of July Parade

Look, the last thing I wanted to do at 8 in the morning was wake up three grumpy kids, get em dressed, and head out to watch high school kids march around in band uniforms. I am, as you may have guessed, air quote not a morning person air quote.

But Lisa would have got it done, and so we did it. My sister and niece were supposed to meet us at 8:30 but my sis showed up alone, as her daughter was too tired to attend. Ha!

We landed primo seats in an intersection where the parade turns right, and set up shop.



Some people still weren't happy. OFW.





But they could be coerced into giving the appearance of joy.



While some had it naturally.







My Dad met us there and the parade soon started. Once it was going it was all good.



























Someone in the crowd booed the Mayor, which I thought was low-brow. A time and place for everything, sir, a time and place for everything.

One of the skills Lisa has painstakingly taught them is the art and science of candy collection at these things. Parade participants, especially motorized ones, often toss handfuls of candy at the kids in the crowd. Anything less than a 75% retrieval rate . . . well, it hasn't happened yet. The kids inched their chairs closer and got ready.





Smiley used his Americana top hat as a beggars bowl, extending it to the parade and saying "me can-dee pease".









The kids made out like bandits. There was no pushing, no shoving, no cheating or bullying to get the goods. Just simple unadulterated action, without a hint of hesitation. That's the key right there. There were some kids next to us, kids you'll hear about in a second, who'd stand there and nervously bite their thumb nail and go all "now? or now? now?" when the candy was a'flyin. They got doo diddily doo diddly.





Ah, here's one of the kids now, on the right. Note that she's taller and about a year older than my YaYa. Her brother, in a red shirt, was as tall or larger.






Anyhow, the kids start whining to their Mom about how my kids were getting everything and they had nothing. A gross exaggerration, to be sure, and even their Mom pointed out there was no foul play involved. But while no Vile Socialst, I am a Christian. I called YaYa over.

"Divvy up some of the candy and give it to those kids, ok?" I said. "And sit the next few out."

So she did both things - and the kids next to us STILL failed to grab any decent amount of candy because the children to their other side now grabbed the goods. Plus, my kids were now out candy of their own.

Lesson: you can't help those who won't help themselves.

Here's a clip from the parade, most notable for Smiley's interaction with the parade near the end.





In this last clip, which took place near the end of the parade, after I'd restored full candy collecting rights to YaYa, you can see the Mom scramble to collect candy for her kid.

Mein Gott, you are raising soylent green! Instill some life in them fraulein!







Another 4th of July parade down! Happy Birthday America!