google.com, pub-4909507274277725, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slapinions: June 2016

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Thursday, June 30, 2016

Polling

While, at this date, I find a Trump victory unlikely, do not buy into any polls that show a widening lead for Clinton. Trump is most likely affected by inaccurate polling because most supporters are unwilling to publicly risk attack by admitting allegiance. In the electoral world, this is known as the Bradley Effect (after a California race where liberals were too embarrassed to admit they were voting against a black man), and/or the Shy Tory Effect (named for British voters who were embarrassed to admit to being conservative).

My Thoughts

Notions of social justice and utility are often sabotaged by someone bringing up the rarest of exceptions and tossing the baby out with the bathwater. I am sure, if you put forth an argument saying it is unhygienic and revolting to crap on the floor of a restaurant, someone will plead the case of the one-in-a-billion victim of a mental illness that makes them defecate in public and we'll all gnash our teeth and pull our hair and scrap the rule. A legitimate exception to a maxim should be respected, but not at the cost of handcuffing society as a whole.

A Neighborhood Bullly

Yesterday, as we walked back from the park, a couple neighborhood kids rode by on bikes and Lauren immediately expressed her "hate" for one of them. 

"Don't say hate," I said. She went on to describe him as a bully who had taunted and pushed her. I took a close look, and I could see it. He's one of those ruddy faced little gingers who is so bitter about not knowing who his Daddy is that he takes out his grief on Cheetos and smaller kids. I said to Parker, "If it comes to it, can you take him in a fight?" 

Parker's a big kid, but this guy had a year, two inches, and maybe 30 pounds on him. Parker's face went blank for a minute, and he cocked his head to the side, studying him like you would artwork on a museum wall. Finally he gave a very slight nod and said, without inflection, "Yeah."

"Good," I said. "He lays hands on your sister again, drop him."

Olympus Has Fallen


I watched this yesterday. I loved the first 3/4 of it but then the actions of the acting President (spoiler: pulling the 7th fleet in response to terrorism) struck me as weak and unrealistic. Still a great action flick.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Scotty Moore

 Scotty Moore, Elvis Presley's first guitarist, died today at 84. RIP. 

Update: my hip

My hip is impairing my summer. It hurt much worse LAST year but I did a ton because the doc thought losing weight and staying active might heal it. Now that he says it's as good as it's ever going to be the idea of biking everywhere or walking miles with the (much reduced) pain just seems. . . exhausting. I have to get over this psychological hurdle.

My Father-in-Law's Patch



My father-in-law's patch from his time in the 2nd battalion/9th Marine regiment. (Vietnam, 1965-1966)

Stressed

I'm alternating between adoring the kids and wanting to ship them off to boarding school. Par for the course, but it's not them this time, it's me. I work, I sleep, I go to school, I parent. There is precious little - well no- time to just adult.

A Nightmare

Woke up after half an hour from a wicked nightmare. I was at the 4077th - the hospital from MASH - and there was a blond Midwestern young man who was doing well and recovering from his wounds. I walked out of my visit with him and within minutes heard incoming shells. One struck the post-op unit, and when I ran back the whole building was in flames, with the patients inside -including the kid I talked to - screaming as they burned alive.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

How not to take a 4 hour law school final

How not to take a 4 hour law school final:

1. Pick up your new glasses first, making reading twenty pages of questions just a hoot

2. Use a laptop with a power port issue, leaving you three hours of juice for a four hour exam.

3. Ditch said laptop and grab bluebooks like it's 1995. Make sure your writing is illegible.

4. After the exam, email your professor about Judge Posner's recent comments, unintentionally pi*sing on said professor's idol

Sigh. It's a wonder I manage to cross the street without assistance.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Nie Mam Nic

Around my house I say "nie mam nic" - a Polish phrase from my Grandma. I use it, as she did, to mean "enough/stop it/done/be quiet/knock it off." Junie objects to this usage. 

"It means 'I have nothing' Dad, not ---- and ----."

Me: "It's an idiom. I'll use it any dang way I please."

Now, Marta M Sta-  can educate me as to whether that's strictly true or not, but regardless, as far as the discussion goes little girl, its nie mam nic.
If nutty Elizabeth Warren is chosen as Clinton's VP candidate, I may have to suck it up and vote Trump for sure. This election sucks.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

HaHa

LuLu: Do you know where my College for Kids bag is? Me: No. Do you know where my youth is? LuLu: Yeah, down the hatch.

Happy Birthday Mindy!

Team Slap helped my cousin Mindy celebrate her golden birthday today!

(The New) Match Game

What show could get all six members of #TeamSlap together for an hour in front of the TV? Why, the all new #MatchGame, that's what! Same set (different colors, boo), same theme song, same microphone and game play. Alec Baldwin was OK, and best of all NKOTB was referenced TWICE! Welcome back my love!

Why Him?

Way too long - it could have used an edit, or two. Or three. But it was reasonably funny and not a rental Lisa and I regret.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Junie the Good Samaritan

When I came home from work I saw Junie on the corner, nervously clutching a water bottle by the burnt out wreck of a van. (Lisa had texted earlier to say a van was on fire down the block).

I stopped and asked her what was up, and she said she wanted to give the van driver the bottle but was too scared. I walked back with her and he gratefully took my little Good Samaritan's gift. Through tears he said he was driving, the engine knocked, and then flames came out of the hood. May your weekend start better than his.


LOL

As we pulled up to Cousins Subs in St Francis an alarm went off 

LuLu: what'd you do Dad?

Me: nothing. It must be a sexiness alert.

Lulu: Probably. I  did just arrive.

Shallows

Blake Lively plays a surfer on a lonely Mexican beach who is attacked by a shark. She reaches the safety of a rock off shore, but the tide is rising and her foe is patient . . . LuLu wanted to see this at South Shore, and it was a great call. Kudos to all involved in making this film. For a relatively short, nearly one person show, it has its share of terror and a surprisingly strong and natural character arc. Well worth the ticket price.




By the way, I booed the Ghostbusters trailer. Again. It looks like a turd.

My Thoughts - Brexit

I may develop this thought more here,  but I am disgusted by the pushback against the Brexit vote. Cries of disenfranchisement (aka, I didn't vote and now I wish I had), petitions for a second vote, even seemingly serious calls to weigh a vote heavier if cast by a young person. In a democracy, the victory of your viewpoint is not assured. Defeat at the polls is as integral and history shaping a part of the democratic process as monumental wins. To pout, to scream foul, to steadfastly refuse to acknowledge not everyone thinks/believes as you do - that's emblematic of tyranny, not freedom.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Steven Universe

The younger kids, especially Smiley, are obsessed with this show. I don't love it, but the writing is strong and that's all I really require of my media. But Lisa just spoke to the TV, urging on a character, and she wasn't being funny. That . . . concerns me. LOL


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Thursday, June 23, 2016

I feel soon bad for you. . . not

My professor was a . . . jerk for the first hour of class. He was short tempered, dismissive, condescending, and visibly agitated . He then stopped class for a moment and apologized to us all, saying he'd had insomnia and was going on only a few hours of sleep. Assuming that "few" meant more than two, that was at least one more hour than I'd gotten. #ButThatsNoneOfMyBusiness

Memorize This

Criminal defendants have a right to testify as a result of the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, the compulsory process clause of the Sixth Amendment, and the Fifth Amendment’s privilege against self-incrimination.

My Thoughts on Gun Control

Gun control doesn't stop terrorist attacks like the two we've seen in the last year, it only varies the technique used to accomplish it. But say gun control IS necessary. As it stands, it will never happen, nor SHOULD it happen, because like it or not the 2nd amendment makes it a right, as valid and valued as free speech and a free press. If you wish to change it, then you must amend the Constitution. That's the safe harbor the Founders built into the system, and the only means of gun control that doesn't skirt the essence of this people and their republic.

Yikes

I was just attacked by Mothra. I tried to get a picture of the beast but I couldn't switch to panoramic mode in time. Things like this make me doubt the wisdom of standing outside at three in the morning.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

The Fast and the Furious

I just got back from taking the kids and Yaya's beau to the 15th anniversary showing of The Fast and The Furious, complete with behind the scenes footage from the upcoming Furious Eight! Every bit as good as I remember, and you better believe I peeled out of the lot with that minivan! Lol

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Exhaustion

I am utterly exhausted. I had 8 hours of sleep last night and feel like I had 8 minutes.

THIS - My Thoughts

I find it irritating that people have to preface a statement with a laundry list of why I shouldn't take their opinion to mean they're anti-police, a drug addict, a racist, or whatever. G'damn, just state your mind. If I thought you were a complete a$$ I wouldn't be listening to you in the first place. Grow a pair.

Monday, June 20, 2016

The Zoo on Father's Day 2016


     On Father's Day after I opened my gifts, I wanted to take the family to the zoo. Due to the heat and general apathy, only LuLu and Ginger decided to go with me. In some ways it was far better that way: less pressure to make it a "memory", less personality conflicts, less $$ out of my pocket. 

     That last point was my favorite. 

   


 Just about as soon as we arrived we hit the big cat house to see the lions and whatnot. 



Then, with extra cash unexpectedly in my wallet, I let the girls go on the sky glider. 



I promised this worker internet immortality. 






















The big hit of the day, to my surprise, was the reptile and fish building. Not because, as they claimed later, of the air conditioning, but because they both seemed genuinely fascinated with each exhibit and actually interacted with one another.



The primate house was a disappointment, not the least of which because this guy threw poop at the glass.



In the primate house was a device to measure your grip strength in relation to that of an orangutan. I topped out at 85 pounds per square inch (I think that was the measurement standard), and 70 with my left hand.





By that time my hip was hurting, and so was Ginger's ear (her tube is working its way out), so it was time to leave. We still stopped and saw the bears and elephant before hitting the road. 

It was a blast. Thanks LuLu and Ginger!