Lost Theory

I missed half the show courtesy of American Idol, but what I saw was pretty worthy of a yawn.

Yeah, yeah, the baby was almost kidnapped by some weirdo Other medical faction. Whoohoo. Guessed that already, thank you.

Echo's little speech to the captive was pretty interesting, leading me to think he believes the Other's are more than mere humans - angels, perhaps? I don't know what the beard trimming was about, but I'm sure there's a hundred theories already in circulation.

The captive, who I'm sure is an Other, was pretty obvious about his attempt to split Jack and Locke. That it worked just points out how impotent and emotionally weak Locke really is.

BTW, if you like American Idol (AI in my parlance) check out Coldhearted Truth's blog on the sidebar. A conservative political blog, it has a seperate AI blog attached to it. It's worth a look.

* * *
Bought a laptop by the way. Not much to say about, but this is the first post I've typed out on it.

 

Family Update - Another Long One

Wouldn't you know it?

I spend the week in a shirt and tie, my wife and kids ride around in a minivan, and most days I'm cleanshaven (sans my standard goatee).

But today I go bumming to the grocery store wearing pants older than my kids, a scrubby t-shirt, and two days worth of facial hair (which for me, is dang near a beard by itself). In additon, I'm driving the same ten year old, $8,000 (when new) car my wife and I took on our first date.

And I run into some old co-workers I haven't seen in six or seven years.

Nice.

But overall it's been a positive week. Last Wednesday was the 11th anniversary of the day my wife and I met, so at the last minute we dumped the kids and spent the night at a bed-and-breakfast in Cedarburg, WI.

It's a nice place, built in 1847 and still in business. We were the only guests, and the innkeeper doesn't stay overnight, so it was a wee spooky in the dead of morning. But aside from  the obvious uses of a hotel room (heh heh),which came w/ a fireplace and whirlpool big enough for my hearty frame, we went up and down the street browsing through stores.

According to a Wall St. Journal article, the candy shop down the road has the 'world's best' carmel apples, and at a bookstore across the street I found a great Andre Norton novel "Empire of the Eagle".

By noon the next day I was back at work, but it was great while it lasted.

* * * *

YaYa's commercial premiers this Monday. A sad lack of respectable enthusiasm among family and friends has embittered this household, but we push on . . Wednesday, right before the trip, I volunteered at her school and then gave a speech to her class for career day (which included playing the commercial!). YaYa seemed proud and the kids said I was 'funny', but the Mrs. felt I should have been more informative. Next time I guess.  Oh, YaYa went to Libby Lu this weekend too, and had a blast.

* * * *

I've spent more alone time with P-Diddy (Parker) this weekend then I have in - well, maybe ever. While the Mrs. took the girls to the mall YaYa's godfather and I went looking at laptops. Parker was a blast while my friend was around, laughing and smiling and not making any trouble.

Then we split up and I went solo, and things changed.

Not too much tho'. He got moodier as he got hungry and tired. We stopped at McDonald's, and as all the highchairs were taken we (nervously) sat side by side in a both sharing a meal. Then we hopped over to my nephew's Championship Basketball game, where Parker really started to lose it. I made a quick stop at the post office and Blockbuster and we were home.

Total time together: 5 or 6 hours.

Ditto today, minus my buddy. With the girls and Mrs. at a birthday party Parker and I went shopping here and there, including the grocery store (where he was my only saving grace with those co-workers).

Overall, I'm really starting to dig the little guy - except for the fact he never EVER sleeps through the night.

* * *

The championship game went poorly, as my nephews team was dominated by a larger squad that took the title by 16 points. He did pretty well though. As one of the few big guys on the team he nabbed a few rebounds, stole a ball, and wound up on the court three times when fouled.

********

The kids are all in swim class. I take YaYa first. She's gotten over the fear she had in the last semester and is kicking butt. Then Middle Child and Parker share a class, with the Mrs. taking the baby.

Middle Child, who I repeat is a Kewpie Doll incarnate, is becoming a dang good swimmer in her own right. Parker doesn't act afraid, but seems to be rather bored.

** * * *
After swim class on Saturday we took in one of the earlier rounds of the basketball tournament. My nephews team was down by three baskets with 90 seconds left.

With 1.6 seconds left and the defense pressing hard, a teammate of Jonah's eased up and hit a shot from three point land to give them the lead.

Man, I was on my feet screaming like the Yanks just took the series!

My nephew got a piece of the inbound pass, but it landed in an opponents hand. A teammate stepped up and covered him, and time ran out.

Oh Nellie! My immediate family accounted for 4/5ths of Jonah's fans in the stands - this was enemy ground. But let me tell you, we made enough noise to drown out a Madison Square Garden crowd.

Even the Mrs. was thrilled. "More exciting than any pro game I've seen" she said.

And the best - if most immature - part: the other team's fans were certain, dead certain, the game was in the bag. And then booya!, their hearts were ripped away. I wish I could have bottled the dead silence that came after that shot. Oh man!

 

Family News - kind of a long one

.

This Thursday my business had our annual city inspection.

In recent years this has been a disaster - nothing worthy of a 20/20 report mind you, but pages of nicks and scratches against us. Traditionally we put it off as long as possible, until the city said 'time's up'.

Nothing against the previous administration, mind you, both of whom I respect, but it just wasn't made a priority.

This year, on the heels of some recent improvements and a stronger diligence in upkeep, I asked the city to schedule it for last week. Kind of caught them off guard, I'd imagine.

The results? Half an hour into the exhausting five hour inspection the inspector started using phrases like " this is the best its ever been" and "nice, nice".

After completing one building he had a half page of notes. According to him, he'd usually be up to a few pages by that point.

If there is such a thing as 'aceing' an inspection, this was it. The inspector wrote us up for tiny things that have been in place for years.

"Frankly, I don't know how I missed them before," he told us. "Except there were just so many big things in the past."

I was so damn happy I took the family to Ponderosa to celebrate.

In other, much more memorable news in the scheme of things . . .

Today, as I’d briefly mentioned awhile back, my wife and YaYa taped a radio commercial for the company.

I hadn’t told anyone the details because if my daughter had freaked out we’d have backed out with no harm done.

It was my wife’s idea to tape us doing the commercial, so that we could play it to and from school each day. It was the best way for YaYa to learn her lines, since she’s still too young to read.

Tommorow, we'll burn the thing. No one should hear a 300# man say "Mommy, can I ever be a real Princess?" on a loop tape.

We pulled her out of school a wee bit (okay, okay, a few hours) early to make sure she had a nap.

So was she eager, or were we just being typical stage parents?

Well, she’d been nervous one day, excited the next. Today she was both, depending on the hour.

(She’d told my sister yesterday that she was ‘scared of the radio’. My sister, in the dark all along, thought she was bonkers)

So we got to the radio station. It was an otherwise inconspicuous building tucked into a wooded area in a southwestern suburb. From the vesitbule you could look into the working DJ booths of two local stations.

That got YaYa’s excitement up.

The sales rep, a really nice guy, came and took us to a recording booth where we all chatted for a bit. I started to get worried that YaYa was going to go stir crazy, and as it turns out it was the wrong booth – the right one was down the hall.

Then it was showtime.

It was a much smaller room than I imagined. Just a chair, a table of mixing equipment, and a producer’s station with a computer in front of it. A single microphone was mounted to the table.

[The sales rep asked if I brought my camera and bemoaned the fact that I didn't. I had left it behind because I thought it was a no-no, but if I'm being honest with myself I can't be too upset. It was rather dim in the studio and in all likelihood my camera wouldn't have been up to the task.

Can't seem to get the hang of low light shots, dangit. That's the only time I miss my old Olympus Stylus.]

Wouldn't ya know it, YaYa started to cry.

Here’s where it got dicey; should the crying have gone aminute longer she’d be in a full blown fit, and the commercial would have to be scrapped.

I don’t remember what we did to shut it down, but she sucked it up and we got down to business.

It wasn’t flawless, but it was much better than I think anyone could reasonably have expected from a four year old. The girl had five lines and 38 words to speak on cue for Pete’s sake!

In the end there were several takes, and the producer had YaYa ‘practice without the microphone’ (wink wink) to get her to relax as they redid some individual lines. She had just the most adorable expression everytime she goofed up a line – her eyes bugged out and she brought both hands to her mouth ‘speak no evil’ style.

I haven’t heard the completed commercial yet, as they still have to add the ‘announcer’s’ voice, but they played some of it back.

And heck, I’m not embarrassed – their equipment blew the heck out of the $19 K-Mart recorder we’d used to practice.

It was like listening to the Voice of God, it was that crisp and clear.

Only, you know, audible.

As far as my wife’s part? The sales rep seemed genuinely impressed by her performance and called her a natural. I don’t think it was b.s. – she really is good, and I think he was wondering if she’d done it before in a past life.

After ten years of poverty, I’m finally making her a star :)

So the commercial went well, if not spectacular, and soon I’ll have a copy on CD, and be able to listen to it on the radio.

And YaYa?

I stopped at a custard stand and bought her a strawberry dipped cone that promptly dripped all over my tie.

Such is the price I pay for being married to one star and father to another.

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Another Lost post

Okay, first of all last week’s episode was goofy. Everyone I talked to seems to think it was a stunning masterpiece, a chilling epic of Lost, but that just proves I’m smarter than everyone I know.

Assuming Sawyer was capable of planning the whole thing out means you think he had the foresight to know everyone on the island was going to act out of character.

Locke, while my least favorite regular and IMHO a boob, would not have fallen for such a blatant ploy and certainly not with such meekness. He acted downright wimpy in the episode.

Jack, while prone to bouts of temper, clearly didn’t think it wise to give Chin a gun. Yet minutes later he’s knocking on the door to give him one. Huh?

Charlie wants to humiliate Locke, so he agrees to assault an innocent woman? Again, huh?

Kate’s a professional con artist, at least so far as bank robberies go, falls hook line and sinker for the ruse. Ugh.

And Sawyer himself - the new sheriff in town – is a moron. Everyone hates him now, and quite frankly, who cares about the guns? Haven’t done any of ‘em a bit of good yet.

Tonight’s episode was much better, with characters acting true to themselves. Jack is unwilling to see a man tortured and (hypocritically?) is willing to resort to violence to stop it. Locke stands his ground until his precious island is threatened. The secret of Hurley’s weight is revealed as nothing more than stolen food, but he admirably stands up for himself. Sayid is wickedly awe-inspiring (the line "My name is Sayid, and I am a torturer" sent shivers down my spine).

Of course the guy Michelle found is an Other, though you’ll probably see a balloon in the jungle somewhere just to mess with our heads.

Two quick new Lost ideas to try on you folks:

The island seems to be riddled with people that have Savior complexes. Jack for sure, but Kate killed her stepdad to ‘save’ her mother. Charlie is obsessed with ‘rescuing’ his family, Locke donated a kidney to his father, etc. I’m too tired to elaborate tonight.

The second thing is more of a question that an idea: Charlie was hanged by The Others. If memory serves Judas met a similar fate, and he’s already shown himself to be a betrayer of the group. Coincidence?

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BTW

I'm still chugging away at that %#$#@% Knife of Dreams book. Should have been called The Neverending Though You Wish It Would Book.

 If I have to hear my wife taunt me once more by saying "I'd have finished two of those by now . . as if I'd ever read something that dorky." I'm gonna scream.

 

Short Post

I can't believe it's been a week since my last post. Tonight I'll have another Lost post for you all to ignore, as well as some exciting news on the job/home front. Oh, and my wife has dared me to try and write one of my old 600 word pieces defending Cheney's shooting accident. I just might do it.

Later.

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

This is another one of my sister's Fwd: emails. Again, not normally my cup of tea, but kind of cute and inspiring.    

 

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

     Noah was a drunk
     Abraham was too old
     Isaac was a daydreamer
     Jacob was a liar
     Leah was ugly
     Joseph was abused
     Moses had a stuttering problem
     Gideon was afraid
     Samson was a womanizer
     Rahab was a prostitute
     Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
     David had an affair and was a murderer
     Elijah was suicidal
     Isaiah preached naked
     Jonah ran from God
     Naomi was a widow
     Job went bankrupt
     John the Baptist ate bugs
     Peter denied Christ
     The Disciples fell asleep while praying
     Martha worried about everything
     The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
     Zaccheus was too small
     Paul was too religious
     Timothy had an ulcer...AND
     Lazarus was dead!

Church joke

Normally I detest Fwd: emails, but as of late my sister Katie's been coming up with some halfway good ones to pass around.

*******************************

An elderly couple was attending church services, when about halfway through she leans over and says to him:

 "I just let a big silent one, what do you think I should do?"

He leans over to her and replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Another Middle Child saying

I can't believe I forgot Middle Child's favorite saying:

"Snow White run away" - a reference to Snow White fleeing the Evil Queen in the Disney movie. Spoken (inevitably) whenever it's on the vcr (which is always). When spoken, an adult must oblige her by following her into her room to view the pivotal scene. Also verbalized whenever she wears her Snow White dress, sees a picture of the princess, or hears something that possibly/conceivably/maybe/could be a reference to the movie or any attempt to flee authority.

Will this book ever end?

I'm in a bit of an unusual pickle with my current reading material.

The Wheel of Time is an excellent fantasy series by Robert Jordan. In fact it's the only fantasy series I've ever liked enough to endorse. Keep in mind it's hard to recommend the series to someone new because each book is ~1000 pages, give or take a few hundred, and there are eleven entries so far.

Knife of Dreams, the latest installment, is a vast improvement from the tenth book. That one drrrragggged on, and was just a great waste of time. There was no plot or character development; you really could skip that mammoth killer of trees and not miss a thing in the series.

Now  the tempo is greatly increased, the end of the tale is in sight, the fate of the characters is soon to be revealed . . and I can't make any headway.

Seriously, I've read what, ten books in the last few weeks? Yet its taken more than a week to chug through 300 pages of Knife of Dreams.

Aside from the fact that the main character has yet to appear in the book 300 pages in I have no qualms with the story or the writing. Scratch that: after a two year hiatus it's too hard to remember which of the dozens of characters belongs where, much less who is secretly a two-faced agent for whoever.

A nice little 'previously in Wheel of Time' would have been a nice preface . .

I'm enjoying it, but I just can't make headway. With no intention of being a wiseass, I imagine this must be what it's like for a learning disabled reader. You love the material, you want to finish . . . but something holds you back.

Ugh.

Here's hoping I snap out of it.

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