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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Roaches Anyone?

I don't know what's more creepy. The fact that this man consumes more than 20 roaches in a minute, or those weird fang like things handing down from his upper jaw. I reckon I could insert the standard "British dentistry" joke here, but it just seems gratuitous. Pay attention to the segment's host, who seems genuinely appalled at this stunt. H/T to VlogBlog



Personally, I'd rather be judging this contest, especially if there were a number of contestants in the running. Svetlana Pankratova has legs measuring 51.9 inches long, a world record.

anyone going to the circus parade?

Quote of the Day

LuLu came up to me with her piggy bank in hand. "Daddy, do you and Mommy have lots of money?" she asked.

I was so touched. Clearly she was going to offer us her hard earned nickels. What an angel.

"No honey, we don't," I said.

"Too bad, I do!" she said, and jiggled the bank in front of me before running off laughing.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

No, nuke you moron

This is a bumper sticker I photographed (albeit poorly) in Milwaukee.

The car featured your standard issue indie band decals and "Yes We Can!" bumper stickers, along with almost as much rust as my Escort. In case you can't make out the doozy of a slogan in the picture, it reads "Fight Terror. Nuke Israel."

But that doesn't mean the guy is, like, a closet Anti-Semite who hides it under the guise of Leftist ideology. No, not at all.



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Just back from the Frolics parade, followed by a little league game. Tired.

Amendment

I'm smart enough to know that what you omit can be almost, if not more, important than what you include. So when my sister chastised me for making her look like a "b---h" in yesterday's post, I told her I'd fix it up a bit.

It happened the way I said it did, word for word. What I did omit was that she herself is a regular lurker on the site (she'd have to be, to catch that post so soon). I guess she was just shocked that it had an audience outside of close friends and family.

* * * *

Because these pics will never appear anywhere otherwise:

Here's a shot of Socialist fixing our toilet, bird extended. It turns out my favorite chair had originally been installed using folded pieces of cardboard to fill gaps around the bolts and seal. That would be the work of the tile guy during the remodel in early '07. It's fixed now, and I thank Socialist for making it so.

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A pic of a bird outside my Mom's apartment, one with so little fear of humans it let me close enough to nearly pet it.

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Smiley, apparently auditioning for "What Not to Wear"

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Here's a Speedway ad. The first few times I saw this I assumed the round circle near his chest, and the subtle shading that created a curve beneath it, were tricks of the light. But nope, they're not. The man in this gas station ad apparently measures a C cup.

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A school project of Smiley's, now planted in our lawn.

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These are the plants that grew from the bulbs I planted with Faith during the first snowstorm of last winter. Long story.

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Here's a makeup happy Elvis, as seen on the side of a local McDonald's.

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And that's all folks. Truly memorable pictures, I know.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The last 4th of July post of 2009 :)

With YaYa at the South Shore Frolics fireworks with my sister, I figured it's as good a time as any to finish off our 4th of July recap.

After the ballgame I took everyone to visit my grandma's grave, as it was the 3rd anniversary of her death. On the way we passed the cemetery where my Dad's folks are buried, and since he was in the car and his side of the family usually appears slighted, we stopped to pay our respect there. Both sets of my Dad's grandparents are buried near their children, so we paid a call to their stones as well.

After that it was on to Woods National Cemetary to visit my grandma. Lisa's maternal grandparent's are interned there too, but it was tougher (for me) to find that marker.

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Smiley wasn't very careful about observing protocol. While I never stopped chastising him for messing around with other people's stones, I figured none of his great-grandparent's would have minded a bit.

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From there we hit Sonic again, since it's only a few minutes from the VA. I'm telling you, that dollar menu rocks.

After they took a nap I rounded the kids up and took them to my parents house for a BBQ.


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It was the first time they'd grilled out since they moved, and the first time I had since before we bought our house in late '06.

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Believe it or not, it was the first time my Mom had ever ventured out onto her patio.

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When we got home from my Mom and Dad's Lisa was just returning home from her trip, and she had a surprise: Fireworks she'd bought in Kansas.

Note: of course, fireworks of any kind are illegal in the city, so these were *pretend* fireworks. Any and all the images you see below are strictly, 100% photoshopped. Honest. ;)

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Even my sister got in the act

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Lisa had also purchased some bigger (but still small) photoshopped fireworks at a special clearance price.

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Afterwards we ate the cake that I had made the night before (and that the kids helped decorate), then headed out to the park for the local fireworks display.

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It really was a heck of a way to spend America's 233rd Birthday!

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Smiley says "Thanks Joann!"

Facebook buddy/Slapinions reader Joann sent Smiley a package that arrived today. Here's the video of him opening it, and saying "Thank you!" to his benefactor.



The last I saw of it, he was carrying his new Spongebob slumber bag into his bedroom as he said goodnight.

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* * * *

True story: my sister came over and looked at the package from the slumber bag.

"Who do you know in California?" she asked.

I honestly didn't know Joann was from CA before my sister posed the question, but I told her it was a reader from my blog.

"In California?" she asked. She seemed incredulous.

"Yeah."

"Who reads your blog?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing, it's no big deal Danny," she said, then paused. "But why would anyone outside of Milwaukee read your stuff?"

Faith's Graduation

A few weeks ago the oldest daughter of our friend Chris graduated from 6th grade. A ceremony was held in the school auditorium, and me, LuLu and YaYa attended. The pictures sucked, but as I write this I've figured out why: I somehow altered the resolution settings on my phone.

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This next one is Faith with her Grandma.

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Faith's a good student and took home several deserved awards, but I noticed that the school saturated the kids with certificates and plaques. Unless this was Professor Xavier's school for mutants, there's no way they all kicked butt ala Faith.

To paraphrase the great line in that closet Conservative film, The Incredibles: "Saying everyone is special is just another way of saying no one is."

Anyhow, well done Faith! And good luck in 7th grade!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Why is it . . .

That a cell phone conversation in a public place is a thousand times more infuriating than if the offender was yakking face to face?