March 30th - April 22nd

MARCH 30TH

So we get the van back, Lisa takes it out to go shopping, (forgetting her phone in the process) and I get to work on cooking dinner. Cue a phone call from a store's landline - the van's battery was dead and Lisa was stranded. LOL - gotta love life.

With the school play in the rearview mirror, this will be the first Tuesday in weeks we can finagle "Family Night". On the menu: an early dinner of ribs, baked beans, fresh cornbread, and steak fries. Then we'll play a board game or two, watch the DVR'd Kid's Choice Awards, and finish by Lisa reading a few chapters of Anne Frank to the girls while I read to the little ones. Then, adult time: AI, DWTS, Lost, V.

"What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do." - Aristotle

"Nothing makes you a better parent than getting rid of your kid(s) for a couple of days." - ZITS, 2007

5:27 PM - Dinner would have gone a lot better if a)Ginger hadn't dissapeared halfway thru the meal (not that we noticed) b) YaYa hadn't slammed down her milk cup in a huff, splashing it everywhere c) LuLu hadn't revolted everyone by wiggling a loose tooth for all to see and - last but not least: If Smiley hadn't forced himself to vomit TWICE at the table rather than *try* the beans or ribs. Sigh.

Word back from the garage. $600 to fix the Escort. Or, as they'd say in France "$600 I don't f*ing have."

APRIL 2ND - There's a big fire somewhere in the neighborhood. The street and our backyard are tinged with a drifting haze of smoke, the odor is quite strong in the house (we have the windows open), and sirens have been going off for a good five to ten minutes now.

I'm boiling six dozen eggs for our annual dyeing extravaganza. Then, its off the net for the rest of Good Friday - and from noon to three no TV, radio, computer or playtime here in honor of Jesus' sacrifice.

APRIL 5TH - Here's a comical Danny-esque moment, but courtesy of Lisa: She went out to the van, then sent the kids in saying the battery was dead. Oh, she was furious - all that $ we'd spent and now the alternator or battery was kaput! After a few minutes tho', I realized the keys she'd handed me, the keys for the van . . *weren't* for the van. Once I went out w/ the right ones, it purred like a kitten.

APRIL 6TH - A celebrity sighting this morning on 'Match Game '74' : Al Ferrara, a former L.A. Dodgers outfielder, appeared as a contestant. He stated his profession was "freelance piano dealer".

APRIL 11TH - It looks like the plane crash that killed the Polish President was another casualty of history. He was on his way to commerate Katyn, where 22,000 Poles were gunned down by Soviet secret police in WWII. The Russians have been assholish about it, and there is talk that demands to divert from the airfield were viewed as a political manuever, not a safety issue.

APRIL 13TH - Dear Lord it's like the perfect storm: DWTS, American Idol, Lost, Glee, V, 19 Kids and Counting- all new, all tonight. I can hear the Black Eyed Peas in my head: Tonight's gonna be a good good night . .

DWTS - sad the yummalicious Edyta is gone, but what a great hour of dance. AI - boring. Tim was good, Andrew needs to go. What's up w/ Ryan? He's jacked up & rude lately. Glee - great reset episode, bringing the core character conflicts back into play. Love the Vogue clip. Lost - like the Hurley stuff, p.o'd at Desmond for f'ing up Locke in the flash-sideways. 19 Kids - love when the Duggars and Bates get together.

APRIL 16TH - Watching "9 by Design" on Bravo, a reality show about two home designers in NYC who have six children and another on the way. It seems like a fun family and a loving marriage, and their design asthetic is very sharp. It's well worth watching.

I finished reading 'Matterhorn', a new novel about a Marine company in Vietnam. It's *very* good, but IMO not the definitive example of Vietnam War fiction; I think James Webb's 'Fields of Fire' impacted me more.

I also polished off "The Third Option', the 1st book I've read by Vince Flynn. It was good, but I think it was a 'tweener' - an installment in a series where the characters actions accomplish nothing but setting up the next book.

At work I met a customer who claims to be a psychic. She came up to me and said my aura was 'brillant' and 'stood out from across the store' and that I was a 'very old soul' who had lived 'many, many lives'. It's a shame I don't believe any of that schtuff. For once, it was nice to be complimented for something other than my looks and intelligence.

APRIL 17TH - Wanna feel like a hero? Take a call from ur daughter saying she was using Walgreen's phone because Mom ran out of gas & lost her phone & I have to pee but McDonald's locked their bathrooms & we're stuck & it's dark & I have to pee real bad. Then ride to the rescue & have the kids clap & cheer & call out your name. Think they'd feel the same if they knew they were stuck cuz I'd been too lazy to stop for gas earlier?

A 112 year old yearbook has been found at MHSA. Note the error in the headline -unless I'm missing something 'highs' school is a boo-boo.

Argh, the link doesn't post pretty. Anyhow, an Australian cookboo has been recalled for a recipie that includes 'freshly ground black people.' Yes, they meant pepper, and yes, it was a typo. Yikes, what an oopsie.

We rented and watched Britany Murphy in 'Deadline', in large part because I wanted one last hurrah with my late, great List of Five-er. It was a boring movie w/ a bad script, and while she looked super fine in her crack-a-licious way, at the same time she also seemed very sickly. It might have been the character, but IMO and Lisa's, there was a certain sheen of "Time's Running Out" on her face.

‎"NJ man charged with purposely vomiting on 11-year-old girl, father during Phillies game". Classy.

Less than one hour until the U.S. premiere of Matt Smith's debut as the Doctor - followed by an all new hour of Graham Norton! [dabbing tears of joys from my eyes]. 'Tis a wonderful world, innit?

The verdict on Matt Smith's Doctor? He's no Tennant - let's make that clear - but he is well and truly The Doctor. I'm going to like this kid. Moffat's script was strong, there were some great lines, and new companion Amelia (Amy) Pond is surprisingly hot; think Leela but with red hair and wearing a policewoman uniform. It's going to be a great season.

APRIL 18TH - "George Washington racks up 220 years' worth of late fees at NYC library for 2 unreturned books". Both books were due Nov 2, 1789.

You know what (irrationaly) irks me? Ads that say "Reason # 61 Widget is better." I understand you want to give the impression there's a gazillion reasons your product/idea is better, but I dare you, I double dog dare you, to list 60 other reasons - and if you can, why the hell aren't you telling me the #1 reason? Isn't that what I'd most like to hear?

APRIL 21ST - Madonna + Glee = the best hour of American TV last night. Well done! Unfortunately, the Bowersox love caused AI to run over their time, which in turn cut off the last few minutes of Glee. #%#$ I'm seriously close to ditching AI this season. If I wanted to be bored by folks with bad teeth & dirty hair I'd watch Celebrity Rehab.

Lost - trumped by Glee last night, but still a great hour of TV. PseudoLocke is wrong. Jack is not 'with' him; his refusal to leave the island is clear evidence he's Locke's foe. And it looks like Sayhid may just be redeemed. Unless the rules of fiction writing have changed, he lied when he said he murdered Desmond. The plot thickens.

If you ever find yourself trapped in my house starving to death, fear not. After emptying the fridge and the pantry, and sacrificing the cats/turtle/fish, just rummage throught my couch. Last night I found whole slices of pizza and forgotten bags of Christmas cookies, along with scissors, knives, and several screwdrivers.U know, on 2nd thought, try the couch *before* eating my pets.

Would like to borrow, w/ a guaranteed return w/in a week: 1. a copy of "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' 2. CD of "Middle Cyclone" by Neko Case. 3. Glee soundtracks (someone - cough Anne cough - was supposed to get me a copy, but there ya go) 4. One MILLION dollars. I'll need that last one for more than a week tho'.

If you want a good laugh, pick up "Emails from an A**hole" by John Lindsay. I made the mistake of reading this at work and laughed until I damn near pis**d my pants. Ah, who are we kidding? I did tinkle. But just a little bit. You could barely even tell. I hope.

Fireworks at the dinner table. YaYa sassing Lisa, Lu taunting YaYa, Smiley refusing to try his food, Ginger wandering off and shedding her clothes for no reason. For the first time ever we sent the kids to bed without supper - each and every one of the ungrateful little mooches. By 6:15 they were in bed for the night.

APRIL 22ND - Just finished the novel 'Snuff' by Chuck Palahniuk, the author of 'Fight Club'. I'll spare you most of the details and just say its about an attempt to film the world's largest gangbang, w/ a paternity issue thrown in for good measure. It was entertaining, although after awhile the subject matter begins to wear on you. I did guess the 'twist' of identity at the end, so points to me.

It was the first 20-0 game in the bigs since 1900, and a great victory for the Brewers.

If you ask someone why their cause is important, why does it matter *to me, to us, to the world* and they begin by saying "Well, uh, it's a microcosym for. . ." I call bullsh*t. If you can't string together 20 words to justify your belief in X or Y or Z, shut up and go home.

With the 23rd selection in the 2010 NFL Draft, the Packers have selected OT Bryan Bulaga, Iowa

Congrats to Seth Aaron Henderson on winning season 7 of Project Runway! It was a well deserved win, as he presented a really unique, eye-catching collection. A fitting end to a good season - certainly better year than that LA monstrosity aka Season 6.