Quote of the Day

The more you put in a brain the more it will hold - Nero Wolfe (Rex Stout)

Quote of the Day

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

Quote of the Day

Hardly anything is evil, but most things are hungry. Hunger looks very much like evil from the wrong end of the cutlery. - The Doctor

Quote of the Day

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

"You don't want to start something with me." 

To which my first thought is always: 

"Welllll, I *didn't* . . . But now I kinda do."

JK for the win

JK takes on the bullies on the Left

Quote of the Day

Me, to Lisa, as we lay in bed last night: "This isn't my pillow - no way you'd let me have something this comfortable."

Quote of the Day

You can delegate authority, but not responsibility." - Stephen W. Comiskey

Quote of the Day

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one." - Robert E. Lee

Quote

 Here's a quote I read today and agree with: "People who haven’t got a damn thing to complain about are still dissatisfied"

Two Quotes from Junie

Junie was goofing around on our office chair when she tripped and 

fell off, landing on her face. Lisa and I both checked for injuries (to 

date, Junie is the only kid who has yet to have stitches). Thankfully

the damage was minor. “You’re ok, but you’ll have a fat lip,” Lisa 

told her.

Immediately Junie, who had faced down numerous injuries without 

blinking,  was aghast.

“FAT??!!!,” she said. “I gonna have a fat lip!”

Junie, you see, has a wee bit of a distaste for the 

weight-challenged, despite having yours truly as a father.

********

Junie came home from a weekend with Lisa’s mother singing a song

 that went like this “Chock-o-lat, you drivin’ me crazy” and she 

sang it over and over. Apparently this tune was belted out by a 

mechanical monkey she saw at Grandma’s, and as far as I was 

concerned it was singing about the wonders of chocolate. Lisa 

wasn’t so sure, and translated that first line – goodness knows how – as “Jungle Love”

Sure as day, it WAS “Jungle Love” by Milwaukee’s own Steve Miller.

Another favorite of hers, this one from the cartoon “Phineas and 

Ferb”:  “My name is Doof and you do what I say, my name is doof 

and you do what I say.”

Quote of the Day

I don't play role playing games, and I confess to a slight bias against the folks who do, but when I was reminded that the Wheel of Time, one of my favorite book series, had an RPG, I was intrigued.

I told Lisa I was thinking about buying it to play with some friends, and she stared at me quietly for a moment before delivering a classic zinger:

"You grow less attractive every year."

It reads kinda mean in print, but in person it was (literally) LOL.

Quote of the Day

Even the impression of weakness begets weakness

Fulton Sheen - Quote

“It is not hatred that is wrong, it is hating the wrong thing that is wrong. It is not anger that is wrong, it is being angry at the wrong thing that is wrong. Tell me your enemy, and I will tell you what you are. Tell me your hatred, and I will tell you your character. Do you hate religion? Then your conscience bothers you. Do you hate the wealthy? Then you are avaricious, and you want to be wealthy. Do you hate sin? Then you love God. Do you hate your hate, your selfishness, your quick temper, your wickedness? Then you are a good soul, for ‘if any man come to me… and hate not his own life, he cannot be my disciple’ Luke 14:26” 

- Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Quote of the Day

Lisa:  I'm going to go check  Facebook. 

Me: Why? Don't you want to watch the movie? 

Lisa: Go ahead and start it. I'll only be a minute. I haven't checked Facebook in a week. 

Me: Then you're gonna need more than a minute. I probably have 60 posts on there.

Lisa: Oh, I don't read your stuff.

Me [aghast]: Whattaya mean you don't read my posts? 

Lisa: It's all books and boring junk. I don't want to read that nerdy s**t. 

Not that there's anything wrong with that

On a recent snow day we braved the snow and took the kids out to eat. Afterwards I stopped at a nearby bookstore to browse. To keep the kids happy during that time I gave them each a buck to spend at the Dollar store with Lisa.

Fifteen minutes later I collected the family. To my chagrin Smiley had spent his dollar on an elaborate Chinese folding fan decked out in black laquer and gold accents. Not only did he buy it, he was zealously protective of it, cradling it in the car on the way home.

" What the -," I asked Lisa.

"I know," she said,"I kept trying to talk him out of it but he wouldn't even consider something else. Just let it go, it's only a fan."

Yeah, a very girly fan. But she was right,  it didn't matter, and we went on with our day. Later Smiley came up to me in the kitchen beaming with pride.

"Dad,wanna see what I got?" he asked.

"Sure," I said with a measure of reluctance.

He took out the fan, opened it, and promptly whipped it at one of his sisters.

"I bought a boomerang!" he said.

I burst out laughing.

Quote(s) of the Day

The following letter came home with Ginger the other day:

Mr. + Mrs. Slap –

[Ginger] has been bringing a lot of toys to school and as you know this causes problems.

She sneaks them out during the day to play when she should be working. I have quite a collection of things I have taken from her.

Please do not let her bring any toys to school. Make sure she brings in her folder and other things she needs for her day and keep toys at home.

Thanks,

Mrs. Charn-

Note that in addition to scolding Ginger for the toys, there’s that late little jab at how ‘unprepared’ we send her off in the morning.

That kid is trouble, pure trouble.

****

Lisa and her Entourage went shopping, and when they returned they were eager to tell me that they’d seen my doppelganger at the store, someone who could pass for my identical twin.

“So you were attracted to this guy?”  I asked Lisa.

Without pausing for so much as a millisecond she gave me her answer:

“No, not at all.”

*crickets chirp*

******

I greatly enjoy Pierniczk Alperjskie, which may be a Polish brand name or just the name of the food itself; a Bing search would settle the issue by damnit, sometimes a mystery adds spice to life.  They are soft, chocolate covered gingerbread cookies with a strawberry filling. No one else in the family can stand them, which is bully for me. 

Quote of the Day

Last Wednesday I picked Smiley up from his First Communion class. On the way home I asked him about his teacher, a beautiful young woman who also taught YaYa and Lulu.

“Is she nice?” I said.

“Yes,” he replied.

“She’s awfully cute. Don’t you think so?”

He shook his head no. I was surprised. Smiley has always had an eye for the ladies. “What kind of girl do you like? I asked.

He shrugged.

“Do you like brunettes?” I asked.

“What’s brunettes?”

“Dark haired girls.”

“No, blondes.”

Hmm, I prefer brunettes. 

“Tall or short?”

“Short.”

Huh. I like tall women. 

“Skinny or with some meat on their bones?”

 “Meat,” he said, then held his thumb and forefinger out, just a hair apart. He turned to me with a wicked little grin, his eyes dancing with mischief. “But just a lil bit”

Quote of the Day

This past Thursday, after each of the kids had their weekly dance class, we treated them out for dinner at an Italian fast food restaurant. Near the end of the meal Ginger asked Lisa the following question:

"Do you like piss?"

Everyone stopped eating in shock. "What did you say?" Lisa asked.

"Do you like piss?" she repeated. LuLu started giggling and Smiley was living up to his nickname.

Ginger, for her part, couldn't understand what all the fuss was about and was getting angry. "Do you like piss? Lot's of people like piss. Stop laughing! Dad likes to eat piss, lots of people eat piss!"

LuLu and Smiley were laughing outright by that point, and Lisa, mindful of the people dining nearby, was frantically trying to quiet Ginger while at the same time understand what she was saying.

(YaYa was involved in a frantic text back and forth regarding an upcoming school dance and was oblivious until we repeated the story. Pre-teens. Sigh).

Finally, it dawned on me.

"Fish? Are you trying to say 'fish'?"

Ginger's shoulders sagged with relief. "Yes. Piss, like the little pissies that swim in the ocean."

Yes. Just like the little pissies that swim in the ocean. :)

Quote of the Day

Two quotes of the day. The first: LuLu asked me to get her past a puzzle on a video game she was playing on the Nook. I took it from her, whipped through it in under 30 seconds, and handed it back. She was amazed and wouldn't stop talking about it. Later I told Lisa how annoying it is when your kid seems awestruck that you're smart enough to finish a kids puzzle. "You think that's bad?," she said. "At least they think you have a brain. You know what Smiley said to me? He said "Mom I 'ave a question", then said "ne'ermind, it a hard one" and went and asked you." :( 2nd quote of the day: Lisa: "Why don't you just come to bed? It's ten o'clock. I know you're tired." Me: "No way. I go to bed and the next thing I know it's morning and I have to go to work. The longer I stay up, the longer it is before the start of another workday." Lisa (after a moment of silence): "Whatever. For a smart guy you have a lot of awfully dumb ideas."