Mind Your Business

Just got scolded by a child for smoking at the parade, outside....10 feet from him, and this was OK with his mom. Wow..... Just make it illegal already, since its so damn evil. But the alcoholics, please continue to make asses of yourself at every public event imaginable, and that will be acceptable. Sigh. My children were taught to mind their own damn business!! - Lisa

The kid that scolded Lisa for smoking - an ugly little androgynous brat - later dropped his/her flag on the ground and got barked at by me. Unacceptable. #UglyPeopleApparentlyDontLoveAmerica

5 yrs 5 months since I quit, and yet today I'm craving a cigarette something fierce.

I quit smoking two years ago today

Today marks two years since I last had so much as a drag of a cigarette.

I quit cold turkey the day before we left on our Disney Vacation, giving myself 24hrs to ride through the worst of it before departing. I'd been smoking a pack or more a day for ten years, having taken up the habit in the weeks preceding our wedding.

[To be honest, quiting smoking was obviously easier for me than losing weight: even if you reach your 'goal' weight, you still have to eat everyday, forcing a decision. You don't *have* to smoke once you quit]

Sticking to it was made simpler by the fact that it's damn hard to smoke at Disney. There was a shortcut across the park, right behind Cinderella's castle, that was a smoking area. That was hard to navigate, but it was a clear exception.

I didn't think the decision would stick, but it did. For a long time I counted the hours since my last cigarette, but when I dropped that practice (after a thousand or so hours) I knew I was heading for success.

That's not to say a single drag wouldn't toss me back into the habit. I still swoon over the smell of a cigarette at times. Not often, but when it happens it's . . .well, it's like getting really horny after taking a vow of celibacy. It's awful.

And there are times I miss how damn appropriate and iconic it is to have a cig, anti-smoking propaganda be damned. Plus there's all the built-in breaks. "Sometimes I wish I still smoked," I told an employee, gazing wistfully at her co-workers puffing away outside. "I could have 10 breaks a day, instead of, you know, just an eight-hour one in my office."

But 90% of the time I can be around smokers and not even think about picking one up. Frankly, it was too painful to go through withdrawal again, and the blow to my self-esteem would be life-threatening.

Ah, well. Here's to not having to search the couch cushions for a lighter!

One Year!

It's now been 365 days since I quit smoking.

 I last inhaled or even held a lit cigarette a year ago today, on the cusp of departing for our Disney vacation. I never thought I'd succeed; honestly I'd have bet money on my lighting up the minute I returned home to Milwaukee.

It didn't happen, and I'm duly proud.

Sure, it killed my diet and I'm now a minimum of 60 pounds heavier than I was then, but what the hey . . . it was still worth it. At least now when I hack I know it's a cold and not tar waiting to be expelled.

How's that for a visual?  :)

42 Days

As of 6 p.m. tonight, it's been 6 weeks/42 days/1008 hours since I last had a cigarette. Actually, 1008 hours since I last so much as held a cigarette in my hands.

Which is something, considering that even in the 'breakthrough' quit of earlier this year I didn't go more than a week without stealing some 2nd hand smoke or bumming a drag from someone.

It's still hard, especially after a meal. As my wife says "it's the period at the end of my sentence" and its absence is felt.

On the other hand, I'm mildly confident. It is getting easier, and I've begun to think of cigarettes as a crazy lover you no longer see but occasionally miss. It's tempting to link up for a quick one, and lord know's you'd enjoy it - but in the end you say no, because it isn't worth dealing with all her psycho c*** later.

In other words, it isn't worth going through the agony of quitting again just for the sake of a cigarette.

I'm still eating too much to compensate, but that too is slowing down. Heck, I even ignored the desire to watch TV and instead hit the gym for a good 1/2 hour tonight.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

 

Misc Boring Schtuff

Well, I didn't gain 10 pounds on the trip.

I gained sixteen.

Yikes.

Other than that - oh, and the paralyzing distaste for my everyday life as I compare everything to the trip - there were no negatives to the vacation.

The Sunday after we got back I took YaYa to see Pirates of the Caribbean II at the local second run theater. A little old for her, obviously, but she's become obsessed with pirates. She talked a little during the show, just essential questions about the action, and she came away loving pirates (and Jack Sparrow) all the more.

Often heard around my house nowadays:

"Yo Ho Yo Ho"

answered by:

 "A pirate's life for me!"

And we've determined the pecking order on our Pirate ship. I'm the Captain, natch, Lis is the Navigator, Lu is the Gunnery Mate ("Gun nee May"), YaYa is the Pilot, and Parker is the lowly deck-hand.

That started a string of Sunday excursions with YaYa. The next week it was she and I at 3 or 4 stores and a baptism, and this past Sunday she went out with her Mom.

The day of the baptism we also watched Irwin Allen's Alice in Wonderland, which YaYa loved, save for the Jabberwocky that scared her to death. [Lu, btw, was overnight at Grandma's that weekend]

The next weekend both girls watched the 1981 version of Annie, which I grudginly loved as a kid. The girls are used to the late '90's Disney version, but quickly grew fond of my fave.

I also spent a lovely afternoon with Lu going to different libraries and some stores. She's a doll.

* *  *                     

Have I ever mentioned that Lu has a paralyzing fear of rewinding a videotape? It's true - just mention the word 'rewind' and she freaks. I have no idea what her little mind thinks it means, but it's right up there with the JabberWocky.

* * *                

As I write this YaYa is fighting going to sleep and I'm at my wit's end and increasingly angry, but usually Monday nights are very relaxing for me.

At 5:15 Lis and the girls leave for dance class. At 7 I go and pick up the girls with Parker, switching cars and then putting all the kids to bed while Lis goes to her class. By this time I've usually - usually - had a good hour or 90 minutes alone to do whatever. I look forward to it.

* * *
Nothing annoys me - nay, disgusts me - more than the richy rich folks in the Lexus Holiday Event commercials.

 Not that I'm anything close to a Socialist, and folks are entitled to spend their money on anything from foodstuffs to million dollar paintings, but . . .

hmmm, in the spirit of, oh, Christmas, how 'bout you forego the $50,000 gift you're rubbing in your neighbor's face and use just a smidge of that money to make the world a better place.

Or not, you obnoxious ****.

* * *            

On Wednesday the Falk Corporation here in Milwaukee suffered an explosion that killed three workers. The force of the blast could be felt as far away as Oak Creek, and at the time I was driving within 12 blocks of it (we live close by).

I didn't feel a thing.

How's this for an (unintenional) joke in bad taste:

I told my landlord "I don't know how I didn't feel it. I guess I'm so used to my shit*y shocks I just assumed the road got bumpy"

* * *

Six Feet Under on Bravo - the show has become a ritual in this house on Monday's. Not as enjoyable for me as Dead Like Me, but a great show even so.          

* * *         

On November 7th, 5 weeks ago tomorrow, I had my last cigarette. Sure, I advertised that I quit month's back. But I reached the 5 week mark, caved and returned to form.

Unlike that time I haven't so much as held a cig in those five weeks, much less dragged or bummed off someone else.

Not to say I don't miss it - 'tis a lovely/stinky/life stealing/expensive habit - but I hope/pray I have the strength to keep going.

 I'm sure it hasn't helped in that sixteen pounds category either . .

 

My 2nd Submission piece

 

Okay, hello again. I notice that I popped online after a long absence, bombarded you with a bunch of posts, and disappeared for a month.

I'm probably about to do it again, lol.

First things first: I didn't get that Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel job, and it was no suprise to me. My submission sucked, and even if it didn't the Journal isn't looking for a guy like me. To quote the rejection letter:

 We have tried to choose a group of quality columnists who will be representative of the public we serve – politically, geographically, racially, ethnically, by gender and age.

As you can see, they were eager to hire a 32 year old straight white guy.

The vastly embarrassing thing is that they chose 25 other writers - poor submission or not, no way I'm the 26th best undiscovered writer in Milwaukee.

Oh, and since the subject of this piece (one of the two I sent in) was smoking, please note: nearly five weeks into life as a non-smoker, I'm still doing well. I fell off the wagon for a day or two last week, sneaking smokes during a high stress day, but I'm back to clean and phlegmmy :)

********************

Unless you enjoy being seen as a social outcast and a proponent of all things Evil, it’s best to just smile and nod your head when people bring up the idea of a smoking ban in Milwaukee.

Now personally, I think a citywide smoking ban will hurt local businesses, and more importantly I see it as yet another erosion of our dwindling individual rights.

After all, if the customer demands it, a business will ban smoking on their own. Why mandate it?

In other words, I’m as social outcast and a proponent of all things Evil.

But I’m also a realist, and I can see far enough down the road to know the days of public smoking are numbered. I could live with a smoking ban.

I wouldn’t like it, but I’d deal - in part because I believe that it would be enacted with genuine concern for public health, even though I know it was pushed not by the citizens of Milwaukee, but by special interest groups .

There’s no such saving grace behind talk of a citywide tax on cigarettes. I’ve heard the reasons behind it, and I don’t believe a single one of them is the true reason behind the tax.

According to the Council, cigarettes allegedly account for 1/3 of the city’s litter, adding to the cost of street cleaning and sewage treatment. They cause accidental fires, add to the cost of health care for government employees, and increase water and air pollution.

(No word yet on whether they contribute to tooth decay and global warming, but I’m sure our enligtened Council will educate us soon enough)

Tacked onto the end of the discussion is the one true reason for the tax: the need to fatten the city‘s wallet.

In 2004, 40,730,000 packs of cigarettes were sold in Milwaukee. If as hoped, cigarettes were taxed at an additional $0.25 a pack, $10,182,000 would be raised to ‘help pay for the above mentioned city costs’.

It’s not a unique idea. Cook County and the city of Chicago both tax cigarettes. and we all know how healthy and financially sound the folks in Illionois are.

Oh, and, um, naturally property taxes are currently used to pay for those costs in Milwaukee. If you read between the lines, the idea is the tax would lower that burden for homeowners.

Riiight.

Sewage treatment, street litter, careless house fires? C'mon, give us some credit!

And the bit about property taxes - implying the cigarette tax would lower them - is laughable.

[full disclosure: I am a smoker, albeit one that resents my own addiction. Sure, I don’t look forward to a cost increase, but unless I’m completely misreading my own heart, financial self-interest doesn’t play a role in this debate]

I just find it revolting that the council would try to increase the city's bank balance in the guise of an anti-smoking measure. Isn’t it a tad ghoulish to profit from something you yourself label destructive and deadly?

Not an ounce of me thinks that money will go to anything related to tobacco related costs, save perhaps for a token school program or two. The rest will go to fill whatever shortfalls the budget creates.

Years from now, when smoking is passe and the tax peters out, the people of Milwaukee will be left scrambling to meet the reduced revenue. What will happen then is self-evident - another tax will be created to take its place, only it won’t be as easy to find a willing victim.

Next time, everyone will pay.

I say, if your goal is to ban smoking, then do it. Do it on the basis of public health, do it because it means it will be that much harder for my kids to pick up my vile habit in the years to come, do it on principle or because it gives you more federal funds to repair the damage cigarettes caused.

Heck, do it with the long disproved reasoning the increase in price will reduce demand and limit smoking.

Just don't hide your motives behind some ad campaign - you're trying to profit off of someone else’s pain every bit as much as the tobacco companies you despise.

 

Random Thoughts

It's crazy, but I'm reluctant to post again because it will bump my Grandma's obit from the top slot . .

Anyhow, I quit smoking 142 1/2 hours ago . . yes, I'm counting the hours. Heck, I'm lucky I'm not counting the minutes. It's been tough, sure, but overall it's much easier than I anticipated (knock on wood) - so much so that I don't have all that much to say about it.

* * * *

My wife's Grandpa passed away on Saturday night. To an extent it was unexpected, even at 86, because he seemed so sturdy. I'd have given him a fair shot at 100, but early in the week we received word that he had terminal lung cancer. (no, this had nothing to do with me quitting smoking - my Grandpa died of lung cancer 19 years ago too)

Anyhow, in the wake of my Grandma's funeral my wife had bemoaned the fact that she hadn't seen her Grandpa in awhile, and was set to call him and invite him to lunch. Sadly, the call came the very next day - had it been delayed by a single night, she'd have taken him out; instead, he was transfered to a hospice.

On Wednesday she went to see him and he was bright and alert. He delighted in the fact that she remembered he liked his coffee "hot and black, like my women" and that he called deuces 'ducks' in Yahtzee.

By Saturday, when we took the kids to see him, he was unconscious and near death. The girls prayed over him, and he passed away that night.

He'll be missed. In the weeks or months to come I'll try to post some of the transcript  of an interview I did with him years back, concerning his service on Guadacannal and other battlefields of WWII.

Man, what a lousy month so far . . .

* * *
Just because I forgot in a previouos post, on Father's Day the wife and I went down to Chicago overnight and saw Madonna at the United Center. It was a good concert, tho' it was tipped too heavily in favor of her newest album. I'll say this for her - she's much hotter on stage than I imagined based on the ghastly pics of her you see online.

* * * *

The one good thing (?) to come out of my Grandma's death was the re-emergence of my once formidable circle of friends. After a four year absence my cousin/good friend Jon and I reunited. Ditto Erv, my friend since 5th grade.  And only a few days later, at my 3rd annual All-Star game barbeque, friends like Roy and Emo came out to say hello.

It was nice to see them all (and my ever faithful friend Tre).

Here's hoping it wasn't all a temporary reunion.

* * * *

On a baseball rant, kudos to Mariano Rivera on his 400th save, which I watched on TV. I wish A-Rod would relax and start hitting, but the NY press and fans seem to be getting to him, as I heard him commit 3 errors today on XM's broadcast.

Speaking of TV, the local cable company bumped the Disney Channel, which has led to much agony among my little ones . .

* * * *

On a political note, I've followed the worsening situation in the Mid-East with awe and dread. Amazing how quickly a (relatively) minor tragedy has spawned the brink of WWIII . . . .

Here's my solution: return the kidnapped soldiers, quit firing rockets into Israeli towns, and everyone goes home happy.

Somehow I doubt that'll happen.

* * * *

We're finished with TeeBall for this year. Grandma's death led to more missed sessions, and now with YaYa's last remaining Great-Grandparent dying, I'm throwing in the towel.

We'll try again next year, but you know what? With as quickly as this summer is passing, I'll enjoy the extra evenings at home.