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Showing posts with label 'Done' List. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 'Done' List. Show all posts

Saturday, March 19, 2005

The Post about my 31st Birthday and The Done List March 19th

Today is my thirty-first birthday.

If you're expecting me to whine about the onset of old age, forgetaboutit.

Oh, I know my life story is nearing (or past) the midpoint of the tale, with nary a plot line to be seen. And sure, I haven't fulfilled my dreams of finding the Ark of the Covenant and defeating Belloq, or moving to the South Pacific and operating a sea-plane taxi, and yeah, I've yet to publish a book.

But let's look at the positives: I've sired three fine children, and . . .

Well, I've sired three children.

But never fear, I'm genetically immune to being depressed on my birthday.

My family is oddly enamored by them, insisting that each and every one be celebrated with cake, gifts, balloons, and irrational glee. My Mom still calls me promptly at midnight, both as the day begins and ends, to wish me a happy birthday.

Coming from a family where birthdays are subdued and well, normal, my wife can't understand this fascination.

She plays along (throwing me an opulent surprise party on my 30th, for example) but for the most part chalks it up to another one of those things she should have thought long and hard about before the wedding.

Let me tell you, that list is growing mighty long . . .

Anyway, in honor of my own Special Day, and at least in part to refute my own growing sense of loserdom, I'm going to rip off a concept I saw online, "The Done List".

[Sadly, as my Mother reads this I have to leave some good things off the list - wink wink nudge nudge - but even so, there's some stuff to make her blush. So Ma, close your eyes.]

In my thirty-one years I've:

    1. Flown in a helicopter
    2. Won a Super Bowl pool
    3. Saw Robin Yount collect his 3000th hit
    4. Met Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin
    5. Traveled to Arizona to watch a spring training game
    6. Graduated from college
    7. Rode a horse
    8. Attended a Presidential Inauguration
    9. Been a school boardmember
    10. Testified at a murder trial
    11. Flown cross-country just to attend a concert
    12. Cut the opening day ribbon for a fair (alongside a Congressman)
    13. Out-raced a hurricane in a Ford Aspire
    14. Attended a major-league baseball game in another state
    15. Been VP and treasurer of the staff Sunshine Social Club
    16. Been written up at the same job for having a surly attitude
    17. Milked a cow
    18. Slept overnight in bed with a corpse - not intentional
    19. Drove a member of the Black Crowes to the airport when his wife went into labor
    20. Drove from Wisconsin to Georgia stopping only for gas (twice)
    21. Been to the Country Music Hall of Fame
    22. Once arranged female 'companions' for a visiting rock band
    23. Wrote a book (unpublished)
    24. Caught a foul ball at a MLB baseball game
    25. Rode in a sailboat
    26. Attended a minor league baseball game
    27. Present at the births of all three of my children
    28. Been within 100 feet of a gunfight
    29. Been ticketed by the police for 'parking' with a girl in a public park
    30. Subsequently dumped by my girlfriend when she found out
    31. Broken a bone/had stitches
    32. Had the power go out during my tonsillectomy, in one of the biggest rainstorms in Milwaukee history
    33. Been accosted outside a porn shop by a man wearing rubber gloves - on Good Friday
    34. Marched in a parade
    35. Had to call 911 - conservatively - three dozen times
    36. Been mooned by an irate customer yelling "why don't you just F* me up the ass? It's what you're doing anyway!"
    37. Won second place in a spelling bee
    38. Broke a ceiling tile while playing football at work
    39. Had a 'friend' steal from me
    40. Took an IQ test while horribly intoxicated - and managed my best score ever
    41. Ate buffalo
    42. Went to Disney World
    43. Wrote a love poem to a TV star
    44. Been grand champion of two pinball games
    45. Been a best man twice and a godfather to two children
    46. Snuck into a concert rehearsal
    47. Had my ear pierced
    48. Shaved and/or Naired my back
    49. Had teeth pulled
    50. Got married

Not exactly Churchilian in scope, but it'll do for now.

By the way - Happy Birthday to me!

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