My Evening

This . .   .clerk at Walmart asked me to spell my full name for a pickup.  They don't usually req more than "slap" to pull it up in the computer,  but nope, she "needed" all 11 letters.  Then she said, and I f'ing quote "And what's your last name?" Surely I heard wrong, but no - when I said Slapczynski again she demanded my LAST name. 

"Do you... do you honestly think Slapczynski is my first name? Are u shitting me?"

And now, bc I insulted the intelligence of an idiot, I've been made to sit and wait for the last 28 minutes. 

Update: 

57 minutes after my arrival I went in to customer service and got a manager.  He walked with me to the pickup dept where they now claimed they'd never seen the item.  

Manager walked me to shoes where he asked employees who had "picked" the item - it was allegedly taken off the shelf around 3pm for me. 

One employee denied knowing anything and seemed to talk about me in Spanish.  Another went in back with the manager.

They came out and said they can't find it and it was the last pair but they have one left in tan. Ok. 

But the manager wants to cxl my order, refund the money onto the card, and have me buy the tan pair outright.  I said that won't work it's bought on a GC that my wife has with her at work. 

So he said go wait on the bench by the restrooms.  If I can't find your order in ten minutes I'll  back and just hand you the tan pair and I'll figure it out later. 

Ten minutes later he walks up with the 2nd shoe dept employee. She had found the original order - which I still feel The idiot employee had hidden as payback for me being insulting. 

So one hour and 28 minutes later I will now be leaving walmart

Also, back on Dec 23rd the dermatologist removed some moles and sent them for testing. "I'll only contact you if they come back pre-cancerous. No news is good news. Enjoy the holidays!"

While I'm at Walmart I get a message from him on the live well app with the subject line "test results."

Ah F I think. Melanoma runs in my family. Dang it.

I open the message. "All tested material came back benign. Hope you had a great holiday!"

@$$%÷# ahole

Book Smart, But . . .

Why yes, yes I do have a doctoral degree.

Yes,  I'm also the guy who used a garment steamer on his shirt while he

 was wearing it this morning, creating a painful burn on my belly. 

 Why do you ask?

Some Of The Christmas Gifts I Received

 A Dwight Schrute inspired t-shirt by Lisa 

A bird throw pillow, also from Lisa

A Keurgig cup tray for my machine from Junie

A "Cool Dad" mug from YaYa

The Ghost of Christmas Future

"Daddy, how did Grampy die back in 2025?"

"He was killed driving to work in a snowstorm."

"Was it important work Daddy?"

"Oh yes, young Ebenezer,yes it was.  He had a misdemeanor sentencing AND intake that day!"

An Equation

If I could go back and relive the '90's I suppose I'd miss my kids.  

But I'd have my pager,  Pearl Jam,  my flannels,  my bong, and the hair of a god again. 

Seems a fair trade. 

Day 12

Day Five

This Hit The Nail On The Head

Never ever,  not once,  have I been at a live event and not wanted it to end. No matter how much I was enjoying it,  no matter how good the performance, no matter how thrilling the game,  part of me always wishes to be done and on my way home.