My Day

Wrote and submitted a column, got word back it's accepted. Hung out with my friend Tre for a few hours, now off to get Lis and the kids from day camp.

The virulent (e)mails generated by my voter ID column don't bother me, but the fact that they CONTINUE to come in (3 today alone) is surprising. And I do mean angry, sometimes vulgar emails, not legit disagreements. One of the letters is as long as the original column. Geesh. Get a grip, or at the very least try to think of an original insult.

 Dan's in the paper today, go buy a copy or check it out on jsonline....own a secret paper or publishing company? Give him a job already! :) Lisa

 The Journal moved up the date of publication to Thursday, so pick up a copy on the way to work. Of note, this warning from the editor: "Hi Dan, your column will run Thursday for sure. Don’t read the online comments unless you’re a masochist."

The Journal editor just wrote and asked me to do a column on the fiasco in Madison, citing my POV and my ability to not sound like a nut. I was going to say 'no', but mistakenly emailed a 'yes' reply I was seeking to scuttle. [Yes, really.]

Whoa Nelly, this is gonna bring some hate mail.

Not Pleased

It's petty, but I am sore with a) the headline JS gave my piece B) a glaring typo they introduced into it (it is not in my submission) and c) an edit that took out a line that had a lot of humor and heart. But they paid me, so it's all sour grapes. so OFW.

FYI

 According to an email I just received, a Packers column I wrote should be in Thursday's Journal-Sentinel. I'll let you know if it pans out.

My column will appear in the Thanksgiving edition of the Journal-Sentinel. Please buy a copy or read it online.

Good and Bad

The bad? I didn't land (yet another) job I'd applied for, making me quite grumpy for a minute. Then, a small burst of good news. The Journal-Sentinel has asked me to do a holiday column, w/ the editor stating that "From previous columns of yours, I think you could do one with the right feel, be broad enough to appeal to all readers, and also steer clear of politics." So there's a coupla bucks in my pocket.

Buy One

Well damnit, I have a column published in the Journal-Sentinel today and no one told me. Go out and buy a copy, ok?

Words of Praise

I received this email from the Journal-Sentinel editor, and while it may seem like bragging, I feel the need to record the letter for posterity. The kind words made my day.

Dan, here’s a letter we received regarding your recession column. It was handwritten, but I’m typing it into this email so you can read it. It’s a nice one:

To whom it may concern:

This is just a brief note to thank both the Journal and Mr. Daniel Slap for his inspirational and upbeat letter which he wrote. Mr. Slap, a homeowner, husband and parent of four children, has been unemployed for nearly a year. Instead of the prevalent “poor me” rhetoric, he has retained his perspective, sense of humor and obviously a great faith.

He and his lovely wife of 14 years are a true inspiration to me. I have shared his letter with both family and friends.

I, too, have my issues: senior citizen, handicapped with a number of expensive medical issues. When I reread his courageous letter, I know that with people like him, he will ensure things will work out for all of us.

Thank you, Mr. Slap !

Sincerely,


Margaret - -

* * * * *

I also received this email, around the time of publication:

Dear Daniel,

Read your item in yesterday's MJS.

Content good. Relevance excellent.

But the prose--impeccable.

Quit looking for a job, start writing
a novel.

Stranger things have happened.

Sincerely,

Thomas P. R-

P:S: I am a published writer, so I know good
prose when I see it. Your line: "...bills began to
be paid in triage fashion..." is a winner!
Fond du Lac, WI

Just finished polishing a piece I wrote, went to send it and the word processor crashed. Now, no trace of the file remains - no file, no anything. It's like someone took an eraser to it. F**k.

FYI

FYI: a short bio of me (under 100 words) should be appearing in Sunday's Crossroads section of the Journal-Sentinel. Feel free to add it to your Danny scrapbooks. I'll even autograph it if you send me a SASE and $1.99 for processing and handling (no COD's).

Blessings Amid Recession

Here's the full text of my Oct 21st (2009) column "Blessings Amid Recession"

* * *

About a year ago, I was told I was being laid off. It was not entirely unexpected (in short order, almost all of the staff would be replaced). My employer wished me well and told me that, if I liked, I could finish the 20 minutes left in my shift. Shockingly, I refused this generous offer.

Within a few weeks, my car would begin to act its age, limiting my options to workplaces nearby or on bus routes. While I found work, it provided neither the hours nor the financial weight of Job Prior. As my job search continued, bills began to be paid in triage fashion, with the mortgage a priority and extras now . . . extras.

Gone were dance lessons for the kids, Brewers games and our plans to repair the roof and replace that troublesome car. As for that long-planned family vacation of 2010, well, that's been bumped to 2011. Knock on wood.

Welcome to the Great Recession.

We're not out of the woods yet - I'm still looking for better employment - and I'll cheer like mad when this lousy year is history. But here's the kicker:

It's not all misery and grief. The fact is, my wife says one of the most frustrating parts of this whole experience is that I still seem . . . happy.

Well, why not? After 14 years, my wife and I are still in love. I have four great kids, a house, two cars (one of which runs) and a valid library card. Give me a little jazz on the radio, and I'm good to go.

Don't confuse that with apathy. I miss being able to provide the extras for my family. I miss putting on a tie in the morning. I miss the feeling that I was contributing to the world in ways somewhat indicative of my intelligence and education. I miss, when all is said and done, having a dollar to spare at the end of the week.

But at this time last year, when I was making X dollars more a month, I thought I was broke. Every purchase and fee was an unfair burden, and life was ever so complicated and stressful.

The sad, silly little truth is I'd lost perspective, and just like in the movies, it took a disaster to make me see the light. Of course, in the movies, the disaster is only a hiccup, and by the end of the hour, the hero is back on his feet and better off than when he started.

Here's hoping I've got a little bit of Hollywood in my future.

I read your Christmas Day article.  Good job!  -Sandra G. 

FYI

Just received word I'll be in the Journal again on Christmas Day. You've got plenty of notice, so no excuses for not buying a paper that day :)  That'll be the 13th or 14th column of the year for me. Kinda neat it's happened so often I've lost count.

Barbie - a rejected Journal column

Bratz - a rejected Journal column

On the day my first community columnist piece was published (an article on swim safety on a cold and snowy day; - how’s that for timing?) the Journal-Sentinel ran a column directly above my own. Written by Jonathon V Last of the Philadelphia Inquirer, it traced the messy battle between the makers of the Bratz line of dolls and the Barbie empire.

It was a fine article, one that hit a nerve in my house. We’ve been discussing the mammoth decision against MGA Entertainment, the makers of Bratz, for some time now. To greatly simplify the issue, after winning a court decision in their favor Barbie’s owners at Mattel want all Bratz merchandise removed from store shelves. The action would remove the most serious threat in years to Barbie’s domination of the market.

It also greatly worries the resident seven-year old Bratz fan in my house.

That last sentence is what worries me. Just by admitting, - in print no less - that my daughter likes Bratz I’m inviting trouble. To some people that’s no better than bragging that I let her juggle steak knives (and obviously, for the record, I don’t.)

My daughter has gone to birthday parties where the invitation clearly stated that no Bratz toys would be accepted, and she’s gone to homes where no such toys may cross their threshold. Fine. I have no objection to that. Every parent has the right to decide what is right and acceptable for their own child.

To me and my wife, that line in the sand doesn’t begin or end with a doll.

Bratz’ signature has always been funkier than good ol’ Barbie, and yes, to most critics that difference comes off as sexual. It’s an odd world that spends forty years decrying Barbie as a sexualized and unrealistic ideal, then decides to hold her up as a model citizen, but compared to Bratz Barbie comes off as your sweet Aunt Marie.

Bratz dolls dress funkier, they have more fashionable hairstyles, their tie-in merchandise is colorful and flashy, they’re urban rather than Malibu, and their feet pop off. You read that right. Rather than force tiny shoes on the doll, leaving a hundred lost pair around as a threat to my toddler, the makers of Bratz have the dolls switch out entire foot/shoe combinations.

Let’s see Barbie do that.

Those are some of the reasons why Bratz made such inroads into the market. It wasn’t about sex, and it certainly wasn’t to aspire to the ridiculous hyperbole labeling the doll‘s ‘streetwalkers’. It was because someone finally presented an alternative to their Grandmother’s increasingly bland and predictable Barbie.

As much heat as Bratz takes in the media, there must be a great and silent majority of parents who agree with me on the issue. After all, in 2005 sales of Bratz reached $750 million. They couldn’t all have been bought by ‘bad’ parents.

Who knows. Maybe once Mattel gobbles up the Bratz line it can use some of that revenue to give Barbie a makeover of her own - but, uh, maybe skip the bare midriff

Please Support this Lowly Writer

I have another column set to run tomorrow in the Journal-Sentinel (on the op-ed page). If you're in WI, please buy a copy and let me know what you think. Or buy a copy and keep your opinion to yourself. Either/or. :)

Lisa's Birthday, and another column in the Journal-Sentinel

Lisa's birthday was low key but went well. She went with Smiley on his class trip to the pumpkin farm, and then we just chilled out at home. No one offered to take the kids off our hands, killing our plans for a dinner out, so I popped a roast and potatoes in the oven. It *should* have been ready by six, but finally finished around nine. Oopsies, Chef. Because of this, the kids wound up eating frozen corn dogs and chocolate cake. In the end, not so bad an outcome, because it left the roast to be enjoyed by grown-ups later in the night.

Happy Birthday Lis!

* * *

Seven and a half hours until the dentist pulls this piece o' pain out of my jaw. Hot dog!

* * * *

A column of mine appears in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel today. The editor wrote me the following after she read my submission:

Dan, what a wonderful column! I read it start to finish in seconds because I kept wanting to read the next line and find out where you were going. It just brought a little light to my day.

As you can imagine, I was very touched by her words. Go on, buy a copy dangnabbit!

The full text of my March 30th Journal Column

Yes, it snows in Wisconsin. Get over it.
By Daniel Slap--

Posted: Mar. 30, 2009

This past Christmas, we received a Christmas letter from a friend and native Milwaukeean now living in Louisiana. She wrote about experiencing her first hurricane and of the expense and terror of packing her belongings into the back seat of a car and evacuating out of state.

It was bad, she admitted. Real bad. But, she went on, at least living in Louisiana she doesn't have to worry about snow anymore. It wasn't a joke.

Mind you, she's got a point. Why, I can't count how many times I had to evacuate the family to Minnesota because of snow flurries back in '07.

Seriously folks, it's water. We should be used to this by now - even the unwelcome spring snowfall, like we had over the weekend. Aside from an increased risk for drivers, the stuff stopped being a legitimate threat to our species around the time fireplaces were invented.

(Oh, I know there are dangers involved in shoveling. But if yours truly has a heart attack clearing the sidewalk, don't blame the snow; blame the 300-pound guy trying to move it).

I'm no snow junkie. I don't snowmobile, ice fish or do anything in winter more involved than walking to and from my car. And as someone who cavorted around town for 12 years in a Ford Aspire, with all of about 20 horsepower at my disposal, trust me, I hate driving in snow.

But I live in Wisconsin. Cursing the snow here is like living in Chicago and moaning about corrupt politicians; it's part of the landscape. There's no use crying over it.

You wouldn't know it from following the news. There's storm team coverage, emergency alerts and live reports for a day before and after a snowfall. Show me a lawsuit, and I'll show you two lawyers. Show me a snow flurry, and I'll show you five reporters predicting disaster.

I can't fault the media. They're just making a living, no different from you or me. And as Journal Sentinel columnist Tim Cuprisin has pointed out, there wouldn't be so much storm coverage if people weren't interested in watching it (even if they only watch it to complain).

I agree. I just think, in this era of specialization, we should cater to the audience a little more. There should be one channel for old hands - one that tells us how many inches to expect and which schools are closed - and another for people who, until now, apparently had no idea they lived in a northern climate.

Such people must exist. I know this, because having lived here more than a week, I do not need to know that "plows are out," that "roads can be slippery" or that it is important to wear a hat and gloves in the cold.

Maybe they can hold a séance and ask my great-grandparents why, after leaving Poland and traveling across an ocean and half of North America, they chose to stop in a cold and snowy city like Milwaukee.

Really, Gramps, would it have been that hard to push on to San Diego?