The Post about the Tsunami December 30th

I'm not sure which is more revolting: the earthquake and tsunamis that have devastated Asia, or the political bickering that has risen up around it.

Sri Lanka has refused aid from Israel, citing the presence of military personnel in their offer. Which translates to: we'd rather have our people die than overcome our religious prejudice.

Meanwhile the Vatican failed to get this memo and criticized Israel for failing to act. Take this as honest criticism guys - I am after all, a staunch Catholic - but try to keep up with current events, ok? SEE UPDATE BELOW

Then our press ripped into President Bush for failing to get in front of a camera and express his sorrow. Try to explain this one to me. Last I checked, it's not going to do one bit of good for the people in Asia.

Of course, our friend the UN hinted that the US was stingy with its aid. Ironic, coming from an organization whose budget is a tenth of the amount Americans donate to charity each year.

And last but not least, some of my colleagues on the left have written comparing the destruction in Asia to the events of September 11th. They conclude that it makes 9/11 insignificant.

In terms of lives lost and destruction to property, I certainly agree. It's impossible to argue otherwise. Just as of this writing - with thousands missing and thousands more doomed to die of disease - the death toll trumps 9/11 twenty times over.

I write the next words with care, because in no way do I mean to minimize a single life that's been lost this week.

But in the course of history, 9/11 will be remembered long after the tsunami is a mere footnote.

As awful as they are, natural disasters happen. They occur randomly, without prejudice and no nation is immune. From the Galveston hurricane of the early 20th century to the earthquake in Iran last year, mankind lives at the mercy of the planet it inhabits.

In contrast, the events of 9/11 were not haphazard acts of nature. They were careful, deliberate acts of malice, the work of one group seeking to destroy another and willing to kill innocent strangers to do so.

Would I rather have had a hypothetical family member in New York on that awful day, as opposed to one of the countries hit this week? Without question. Most of those who worked in the World Trade Center had an opportunity to escape, and provided you were not employed in rescue services (or simply worked at the Empire State Building as opposed to the Towers) you were safe.

That's not the point.

Like Pearl Harbor, which was far less bloody than a score of less influential battles, the human cost of the event belays its importance to the future. September 11thmarked the starting point of a new era in terrorism and the beginning of a global conflict. It initiated a new era in federal powers and responsibilities, opened the door to a controversial doctrine of pre-emptive attack, and challenged the power and future of the United Nations as a legitimate force in the world.

And that's only the effect that we've felt after three years. Who knows how deep an impact it will make over the course of the next twenty-five.

Mourn for the victims of the tsunami, do all you can to aid the survivors, and say a prayer thanking God you weren't there. But there's nothing we can do to stop it from happening again.

Let's hope the same can't be said for 9/11.

Click here to help

UPDATE:

CWN Corrects Mistranslated Vatican Article

Catholic World News has issued a correction for their mistranslation of a Vatican newspaper article, making it clear that the Vatican was criticizing Sri Lanka for not accepting Israel’s help:

Vatican, Dec. 30 (CWNews.com) - The following is a corrected version of a story that appeared on CWNews.com earlier this week, in which a crucial error in translation caused a serious misinterpretation of the news. CWNews apologizes for the error.

Vatican, Dec. 28 (CWNews.com) - The Vatican newspaper has denounced a decision by Sri Lanka to reject emergency aid offered by the Israeli government. Sri Lanka declined the Israeli aid because it would have been furnished by a military team.

Calling for “a radical and dramatic change of perspective” among people “too often preoccupied with making war,” L’Osservatore Romano chastised the government of the stricken Asian nation for putting unnecessary restrictions on an Israeli offer to furnish medical help.

Hat tip to Little Green Footballs for the update.

Dare to Dream - a link to Slapinions on another site??

I know my friend at OftenCold has linked me, but just for kicks I did a google search and found this at a site called NIF = News-Interesting-Funny.

A link to my post on Time's Person of the Year is halfway down the page under "interesting". Well, hot dog.

Check it out, and roam the site a bit as a way of saying 'thank you'. If you comment, be sure to tell 'em Slapinions sent ya.

Why you shouldn't put your password on a public computer

This is funny, and having worked at a public library, I can see it happening. Enjoy.

Hat tip to Tre

Session Start (Yahoo! -
While reading this, keep in mind that I'm not Josh.
But it sure was fun to pretend to be Josh...
whoever he was, he's fucked now.

dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 18:38:11 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey hey hey
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: sup josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey did u ever call tracy?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our grad. practice is thur right?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey u there?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u called tracy right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y u ignoring me???????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm ur girlfriend!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: talk to me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: look
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur deal has been lately
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i mean come on josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we were prom queen adn king and this is how u act!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ignore me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: see if i care
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok what the fuck!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: bot.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u gonna talk to me or not
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 18:40:27 2002


Session Start (Yahoo! - dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 18:40:28 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bot???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?
dys4iK: I have no clue who the hell you are,
dys4iK: but this sure is interesting,.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh!!!
dys4iK: you're josh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is wrong with u
dys4iK: I thought I was supposed to be josh.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u drunk
dys4iK: I think you should go find the right Josh.
dys4iK: I wish I was drunk...
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u
dys4iK: haha.
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: how'd you find me?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r goin to grad. tomorrow right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur on my list
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: I'm not going anywhere tommorow night.
dys4iK: I spend my days sitting at my computer,
dys4iK: jerking off to weird porn.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u adcting like this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh what is wrong with u??
dys4iK: 'cause i'm in hard drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u never did drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u said u quit
dys4iK: I lied.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u were lying?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what??????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: in fact,
dys4iK: I could be on drugs,
dys4iK: _right now)_
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y do u always pull this shit
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur goin off to osu next year
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur doin drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal
dys4iK: yep.
dys4iK: drugs and college.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: hoo-rah.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive that
dys4iK: yep
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u ever call tracy
dys4iK: I've gotta go fuck my sister now.
dys4iK: back in a bit.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and explaoin to her ur stayin with me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur sister is only 8
dys4iK: oh, hey, right.
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: my cousin, then.
dys4iK: how old are my cousins?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u know how old ur cousins are
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont be stupid
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u high?
dys4iK: I can' help it,
dys4iK: it's the drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
dys4iK: my deal?
dys4iK: ten bucks an hour.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can get through this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsut call me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u call tracy
dys4iK: who's tracy?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tracy randlof
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember
dys4iK: sure.
dys4iK: she was a nice lay.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u were gonna tell her u wer datin me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u slept with here
dys4iK: of course.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u didnt
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh i'm crying b/c of u
dys4iK: her and some other girl.
dys4iK: it was fun!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: JOSH
dys4iK: and some guy.
dys4iK: I think.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHAT IS WROGN WITH U
dys4iK: I can't really remember.
dys4iK: the world was funny colours at the time.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: OH SO NOW UR GAY
dys4iK: no, not gay.
dys4iK: not yet.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN
dys4iK: but if you keep this up, maybe.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: DONT EVEN SAY PROM NIGHT
dys4iK: it happened tommorow!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: TOMORROW???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: tommorow.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm gonna come over ok
dys4iK: over to canada?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: canada??
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what are u talin about
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: talkin*
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u dont seem to good
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: im comin over
dys4iK: I already told you I'm not josh.
dys4iK: but you seem to believe I am,
dys4iK: so I'm playing the part.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: but, I can't play it in person.
dys4iK: sorry.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm gonna break up with u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we are over
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: 9 months of nothing
dys4iK: yep.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u cuz of the name
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm not stupid
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: such a stupid name.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i'm on my way over
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: see you in a few days.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can have break up sex
dys4iK: hoo-rah.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tehn i'm leaving
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: for good
dys4iK: yay.
dys4iK: you promise to neve rphone?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive u slept with tracy
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur supposed to be mad
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and begging me to stay
dys4iK: why would I be mad?
dys4iK: oh, sorry.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: b/c i'm leaving u
dys4iK: please don't leave me!
dys4iK: please stay!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: wahhhh!
dys4iK: *cries*
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: uknow what
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: forget
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: it
dys4iK: ok!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm not comin over
dys4iK: gladly!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: screw u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont talk to me ever again
dys4iK: you don't want to get into the threesome?
dys4iK: hey, speaking of which,
dys4iK: I should get back to sex.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who is there
dys4iK: tracy.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: .............
dys4iK: .................!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
dys4iK: come on.
dys4iK: you enjoyed it too.
dys4iK: I know about you two.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm
dys4iK: when you got drunk?
dys4iK: at some party.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur talkin about
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: .................
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a long time ago
dys4iK: there you go.
dys4iK: see?
dys4iK: it was fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i was drunk josh
dys4iK: deal with it.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what if it was
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a ont time thing
dys4iK: I can't fix all your female, hyper-inflated ego disorders.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what has gotten itno u
dys4iK: I told you!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm tellin ur parents
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u need help
dys4iK: when I figure out who you are...
dys4iK: haha.
dys4iK: ok.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who I am!!!!
dys4iK: except, my mom is shooting up in the bathroom,
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wat do u mean by that
dys4iK: and dad is drunk with some other woman.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm, she is at my house
dys4iK: she is?
dys4iK: since when?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur dad and my dad are out of town on a business trip
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what are u talkin about
dys4iK: hey, whoa.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: she has been here all da
dys4iK: our dads are fucking?
dys4iK: when did that start?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: that's pretty crazy.
dys4iK: think they'd let us join in?
dys4iK: with tracy, too?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u sick bastard
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
dys4iK: haha.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r soooooooooooooo immature
dys4iK: I'm immature?
dys4iK: yes, I suppose I am.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive i wasted 9 months with u
dys4iK: neither can I.
dys4iK: you fell for me like a brick in water.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: that was funny.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: X-(
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u fell for me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u begged me to get with u
dys4iK: haha.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i turned u down 3 times
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember
dys4iK: yeah. tracy told me to keep asking, though.
dys4iK: she thought if I got you to go out with me,
dys4iK: we could have a threesome.
dys4iK: or something.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u wisj
dys4iK: pretty clever, eh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know now that i think about it
dys4iK: wasn't my idea.
dys4iK: she was the one who wanted you.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i only liked u b/c of ur car
dys4iK: I have a car?
dys4iK: cool!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmm yeah
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur spider eclipse
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: thas y i dated u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: not cuz of the looks
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: although u do look godd
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: good
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur nothin w/o me
dys4iK: hey, yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and u know it
dys4iK: what are you, then?
dys4iK: cheesecake!
dys4iK: haha!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cheescake?
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: you're a cheesecake.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: how?
dys4iK: now that everyone's seen pictures of you naked.
dys4iK: heh heh.
dys4iK: but hey, you made some lonely geeks happy for a night.,
dys4iK: =)
dys4iK: it was kind of you.
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 18:57:45 2002


Session Start (Yahoo! - dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:03:41 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: keep what going
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our relationship
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: yeah right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dream on
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we're over
dys4iK: hey, you're back.
dys4iK: hi again!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u makin a joke out of this???????
dys4iK: because i have no idea who you are!
dys4iK: but this sure is fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: prove it to me that ur not josh
dys4iK: how about you prove that I _am_ josh!
dys4iK: =)
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what was our prom theme
dys4iK: uh.
dys4iK: underwater?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: or that may have been the drugs. =D
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i told u ur josh
dys4iK: oh, right.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what do i look like
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: uh.
dys4iK: fat, ugly.
dys4iK: lot of acne down your back.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm wrong
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wrong
dys4iK: blue hair.
dys4iK: purple eyes!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ????
dys4iK: you have this weird bump on your back,
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: am i a cheerelader
dys4iK: but noone will tell you.
dys4iK: a cheerleader? hey, coo..
dys4iK: cool.
dys4iK: i dated a cheerleader!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cuz u dated me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: duhh!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: there's teh old josh
dys4iK: whatever!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: aw
dys4iK: you're so funny.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i knew it was u baby
dys4iK: whatever! duhhhh!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh lets not break up
dys4iK: you're pretty thick, aren't you?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u r the best i've ever had if u know what i eman
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont wanna loose u
dys4iK: you should smoke some crack with me tonight.
dys4iK: come over right now.
dys4iK: let's smoke some crack.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way u touch me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont want to loose u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lets not break up
dys4iK: yeah. your skin is sort of clammy, though.
dys4iK: what, with being a vampire, and all.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ??????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm not clammhy
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i use pure silk lotion from batha and body
dys4iK: Sammy the Clam!
dys4iK: pure silk lotion?
dys4iK: doesn't silk come out of the ass of worms?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u so bad right now
dys4iK: so finger yourself, or something.
dys4iK: I'm not sticking myself back in there.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i alreadly am
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wahtever
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:10:20 2002

Session Start (Yahoo! - dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:10:24 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know u want this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'll wear my cheerleading outfit for you
dys4iK: ew.
dys4iK: I hate cheerleaders.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u dont silly
dys4iK: will you wear a strapon?
dys4iK: and fuck me in the ass?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way i can straddle u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv it
dys4iK: hey, will you let my dog fuck you?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmmmmm
dys4iK: do it!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: when did u get a dog
dys4iK: you can smoke crack first.
dys4iK: I'll get a dog!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no
dys4iK: so it can fuck you.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: NO
dys4iK: and I'll videotape it.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i wanna video tape u and me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u
dys4iK: I want me, too.
dys4iK: but I'm with tracy now!
dys4iK: sorry!
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:12:29 2002


Session Start (Yahoo! -dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:12:32 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u mean u want me
dys4iK: I'm madly in love with you.
dys4iK: the drugs are fucking with my head.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwwwwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love you too
dys4iK: marry me?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: its ok baby
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u want to marry me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: I was lying about tracy!
dys4iK: I just wanted to make you feel jealous!
dys4iK: seriously!~
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:13:28 2002


Session Start (Yahoo! - dys4iK:sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:13:33 2002
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we just grad
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really
dys4iK: no.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwww
dys4iK: i was lying again.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?????
dys4iK: 'cause it's funny to watch you awwwww at me.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: do u really luv me
dys4iK: I need more drugs.
dys4iK: I love drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no jsoh no
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv me
dys4iK: I love drugs!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no josh
dys4iK: I need a dimebag of hash to go with this.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit sayin that
dys4iK: and I'm running low on needles.
dys4iK: gotta start reusing needles.
dys4iK: damnit!
dys4iK: fucking hell.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: oh well.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: stop
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit
dys4iK: I'll microwave them.
dys4iK: stop what?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur actin weird
dys4iK: I'm jonesing.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh
dys4iK: I gotta go fix myself up.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what does that mean
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: coming down.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i got my nipples pierced today
dys4iK: hey, me too!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: no.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i did i t jes for u
dys4iK: why? you're supposed to hate me, bitch.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u can play with them
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont hate u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i luve u
dys4iK: you keep telling me you do!
dys4iK: stop the lying!
dys4iK: oh god, I can't take it anymore!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i an forgive u
dys4iK: fucking hell!
dys4iK: I should just oD.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: nooooooooo
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh wait
dys4iK: it'd be fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm coming over right now
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
dys4iK: go for it.
dys4iK: you know where I live.
dys4iK: (I don't.)
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok i'll be over in 20 min
dys4iK: ok!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok baby
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i
dys4iK: I'll be waiting.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm coming
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ...............
dys4iK: .........................
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: say it to me josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: please
dys4iK: I'll go get the strapon.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i'm on my way over now
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bye babe
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: c u soon
dys4iK: bye!
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:17:53 2002

The Post about NKOTB December 28th

As the veteran of nearly a decade of marriage, I know that honesty is the cornerstone of a good relationship, and a smooth lie the bedrock of a happy one.

In the same vein, my relationship with my readers has been a happy one so far, but I can't end the year living a lie. In the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you the embarrassing truth:

I am a New Kids on the Block fan.

That wouldn't be so bad if the person at the keyboard was a thirty-year old woman who once pined over Kirk Cameron and knew the words to Wind Beneath My Wings. Instead I'm a thirty-year old man who stands 6'3" tall and weighs over three hundred pounds.

And except for one awkward summer at band camp, I never had any feelings for Mr. Cameron.

My bewildering obsession coincided with my marriage. My wife was a hard-core NKOTB fanatic in her early teens: a member of the fan club, obsessive stalker, hopeful future lover of Jonathan Knight, ticket holder to four concerts, and possessor of more useless trivia than Ken Jennings.

I was, most assuredly, the opposite. It shames me to think of how many derogatory twists on their name I created, how many times I insulted my sisters for their allegiance, and how many times I passed up NKOTB merchandise (at '80's prices!) without a second glance.

In 1999 two of the New Kids went solo, and knowing it would make my wife happy I indulged her long-suppressed impulses to scream and yell and wait in line for hours just to catch a glimpse of them.

And wouldn't ya know it, they grew on me.

They're not Led Zeppelin or Benny Goodman by any means . But Face the Music could hold it's own with any R&B out today, Jordan Knight is incredibly gifted, Donnie's a hoot, and the worst of their schlock is still pretty catchy.

I still don't understand my wife's love for Jonathan, but hey, to each his own.

So five years later my wife and I have twenty-nine videotapes devoted to NKOTB. We have NKOTB slippers, dolls, trading cards, marbles, cups, jackets, books, comics, magazines, a sleeping bag, sheets, pillows, toys, and more. We've been to every concert in Wisconsin and once flew to Boston to see Joe McIntyre.

I even made the newspaper thanks to the New Kids.

Back in '99 Joey McIntyre appeared for a CD signing at a local restaurant. We waited in line outside for hours on a bitter cold winter night. When we finally reached the front of the line security declared the event over and closed the doors.

Correction: They tried to close the doors.

The 'security guards' were local high school football players. That might have been sufficient to intimidate the average fan, but the only place I'm average is the bedroom. I thrust out my paws and kept the door from closing. Whatever I said to the poor kid didn't matter. All he saw was a very large, very angry man who, given the circumstances, was apparently quite gay to boot.

He let us in.

The next day the signing was in the newspaper, because at some point somebody (?) had knocked the front door off its hinges.

Now my wife sometimes doubts my sincerity, pointing to my constant thirst for attention. True, there really was no call to wear the No More Games tour jacket to a job interview, but aside from that I'm on the up and up. But she can keep doubting me if she likes.

Me, I just keep keepin' on.

 

My wife wishes to add that this post unfairly maligns her home as some 'crazy house' where NKOTB stuff can be seen on the mantel. This is categorically untrue; the NKOTB stuff is kept in a room of its own.

Reggie White

Packers great Reggie White died today of an apparent heart attack. He was 43.

The Post about Christmas 2004 Dec 26th

This was the first Christmas that I didn't get a chance to see It's a Wonderful Life, my favorite movie of all time.

It was the first time in my life I received only two presents, a wallet and my Secret Santa gift.

It was one of the few years where I didn't have the chance to enjoy stollen, one of my favorite desserts of all time.

It was the rare year where my family didn't have oplatki, the Polish wafer that we share as a blessing on Christmas.

And it was the first time my Grandma, eighty-two years old next January, spent the holiday in the hospital.

Kinda odd then that I'd rank this Christmas as one of my best ever.

But it was.

It was certainly not because of any of those things, but there was a different air about this Christmas. My parent's traditional Christmas Eve celebration, which I feared would be melancholy without my Grandma, went off without a hitch. It was a more subdued atmosphere but also more relaxed. Instead of the usual hustle and bustle we opened presents in order, from youngest to oldest. By the time the kids were done they'd wandered off to play in the other room, leaving the adults time to linger and talk.

Imagine that: pleasant conversation at a family gathering. Truly a season of miracles.

It went so well that by the time we were back home the Christmas spirit was just warming up. Since we have no fireplace, my wife made a special key that we hung on the door for Santa. The kids held up their end of the bargain with the big guy by setting out milk and cookies, and at my oldest's insistence, a bowl of water for the reindeer.

It was once they were asleep that I may, in retrospect, have gone a little too far.

I tried to create Santa footprints from the door to the tree and back again. You'd think that wouldn't be a problem in Milwaukee, where there's no such thing as a floor free of road salt and snow, but it was too cold for my shoes to pick up any of the old standbys. So I tried my daughter's watercolors, which did nothing but create a mess. I tried used coffee grounds and then cherry kool-aid, Nothing.

Finally, I did the only sensible thing. No, I didn’t quit - I surfed the net. Thanks to a friend, in minutes there were baby powder tracks across my freshly scrubbed floor.

Naturally, my kids didn't seem to care. And while they were gracious about it, our presents fizzled - except for that three-foot tall Elmo. It's our fault. We made the mistake of sandwiching our gifts between the night at Grandma's and Christmas breakfast with Grandpa. That's like expecting me to watch both halves of the Super Bowl and call the halftime show my favorite part.

Next year, our gifts are being handed out on the 23rd.

We ended the day with a visit to the hospital. Thankfully my Grandma was in good spirits and so were the kids. Our oldest recited her ABC's, 123's and prayers so well that we rewarded her with a gift of her own choosing - some 99¢ Barbie coins that she treated like gold.

Now there's still a chance things can go wrong. Tomorrow my mother-in-law's side of the family is coming over for a Christmas brunch, all sorts of stuff could happen. But I think we're safe.

Because his year It's a Wonderful Life seems to be more than just a movie title.

The One about the Commercialization of Christmas Dec 24th

Personally, I dig the commercialization of Christmas.

Oh, I know that sounds sacrilegious, but I assure you my family's celebration is firmly rooted where it belongs. We'll bundle the kids up and take them to church, we keep the baby Jesus out of the nativity scene until Christmas morning, and my three-year-old even wants to put up Happy Birthday signs for Jesus. We know whose holiday it is - but thanks for asking.

I just don't think it's wrong to buy presents for people you love.

Now, granted, that's kind of hypocritical given that eleven months out of the years I'm the most miserly man in America. You want a true conservative revolution in Washington? Put me in charge of the budget. Last year my wife needed new mittens to replace a pair she lost in the middle of our Milwaukee winter. She got them - the next April, when they were 75% off. Heck, if I could figure out how to remove the racing stripes I'd reuse my kids' diapers. A bucks a buck.

Just not in December.

A loyal reader took me task for this recently. "Christmas is for kids," she said. "I don’t ever want to hear you complain about money again." Then, her nose firmly in the air, she went on to say that she'd bought gifts for her entire circle of family and friends, including her ever expanding brood of kids, for under two hundred dollars.

While I'm sure the thrift shop appreciated her business, that's not for me.

For starters, there are the six nieces and nephews, teachers, crossing guard, godparents, Christmas cards, my immediate family, and co-workers.

Come December I don't have time to be cheap. I'm too busy shopping.

And I don't really mind. There's something to be said for hoarding all your base impulses and then releasing them on the local shopping mall. It's like the glorious day when you abandon your diet and hit the ice cream stand. Your capacity for the activity seems endless, and you wonder why you ever thought of stopping. All vestiges of self-restraint are gone, and while you may regret it in the morning, for the time being it's open season.

The only bump in the road seems to be my children's gifts. My wife and I believe that the biggest, best toy should be from Santa, with smaller more practical presents addressed from Mom and Dad. That way they learn to disdain us early in life, making the transition to their teenage years that much smoother. The problem stems from having to define the biggest, best toy.

Is it the $75 V-Smile game system, which they'll love but looks boring in the box and will be greeted with a yawn? Or is it the three- foot tall Elmo doll, $60 cheaper but guaranteed to bring shouts of glee the moment it's opened?

And there's the question of parity. The gifts for both girls should be roughly equal in value, but must break down into identical number of gifts, lest one of my divas believe themselves slighted. Theoretically an easy thing to do, the practice is nearly impossible. It's much easier to shop for a three year old with a history of likes and dislikes than for a one year old whose favorite activity is dumping whatever glass of liquid is left in within her reach.

All this may sound overboard, but with my meager earnings they're far from spoiled the rest of the year. They deserve a special Christmas and doggone it they're gonna get one this year.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

The Post about My Favorite Authors December 22nd

I had a conversation with a friend online yesterday, and a small chunk of it was devoted to books. That inspired me to fill a blank page with some suggestions for last-minute shopping for the book lover on your list. Most of the following was blatantly stolen from a web page I wrote way back when, so don’t bother pursuing that plagiarism charge - concentrate on trying to bust me for being too beautiful for the web.
That being said, aside from a preference for mystery writers you'll also notice there's only a few females on my list. I don't intentionally seek out male writers and I've read great books written by women. Either I have an unconscious sexist agenda, or it's all a big coincidence. You decide :).

My Picks -

ROBERT B PARKER - From the first time I read Parker, I was hooked. While I read everything he writes (and we‘re naming my first son Parker; seriously), the Spenser novels remain his calling card. EARLY AUTUMN is arguably my favorite book of all time, and aside from the ever-annoying Susan, you really can't go wrong with a Spenser novel. Two cautions: I‘ve heard that both of Parker‘s sons are gay, so as of late he‘s shown a tendency to make every other tough guy a homosexual. It doesn‘t bother me, except it‘s timing paints it as an effort to validate his kids, which shouldn‘t be necessary. Secondly, if Parker has a weakness, its that all his protagonists are Spenser clones. Sunny Randall, Jesse Stone, Wyatt Earp - put them in Boston with an annoying girlfriend and you've got Spenser.

LAWRENCE BLOCK - One of my favorite authors, which is ironic, since I can't stand the Burglar series that made him a fortune, or the Evan Tanner books that taught him his trade. Even so, the Scudder novels, with one or two exceptions, are works of art. EIGHT MILLION WAYS TO DIE is one of the best. His non-fiction 'how to write' books are also a joy to read.

BERNARD CORNWELL - a late addition to my favorite list. The Sharpe series expertly blend the Napoleonic era with adventure fiction and the Superman myth. Plus they're just darn good fun to read. The scene in 'Eagle' where Sharpe, fearing court-martial, is instead promoted put a grin on my face for days. The Archer series was in much the same vein. Drawbacks to his writing? Aside from Sharpe's amazing ability to score with a beautiful lady during every battle, nada.

LOUIS LAMOUR - Perhaps the least respected author on this list, Lamour is none-the-less a legend in the western genre, and with good reason. If there' a God in Heaven, the Sackett novels should stay in print forever. Likewise, his autobiographical EDUCATION OF A WANDERING MAN was great; forget the critics that said otherwise. Lamour did write over 100 books in a career that began in his '40's, so expect some repetitious descriptions here and there.

HERMAN WOUK - A literary giant (IMHO) best known for his least literary works, THE WINDS OF WAR. And WAR AND REMEMBRANCE. I love both of the Wind books, but THE CAINE MUTINY COURT MARTIAL, a superb novel in all respects, is my favorite.

MARIO PUZO - Read the first line of Wouk's bio, but substitute 'THE GODFATHER' for 'Winds'. I love his career making novel of the mob - in fact, its the only book I've ever re-read, and with pleasure - but his talent was best seen in lesser known works. THE FORTUNATE PILGRIM is literary to its core (and sometimes to its fault). THE DARK ARENA, a dark gothic tale of post-war Germany, is excellent - although I think he snuck in an unhappy ending just to be 'highbrow'.

DICK FRANCIS - After her death, the former jockey admitted his wife played a large role in writing his mysteries. If that's true, then I've got more than one female among my favorite authors. Each book is set within the world of horse racing, and very few feature the same hero. Francis has his good and bad books, but most are worth their weight in gold. FIELD OF THIRTEEN, LONGSHOT, and DRIVING FORCE are my favorites.

LAWRENCE SANDERS - Forget the awful (and popular) Archie McNally series. I love the late Sanders for his "Deadly Sin" books. The original was the best - the well crafted page-turner, THE FIRST DEADLY SIN.

BEVERLY CLEARLY - Yes, she's a children's author. HENRY AND RIBSY was the first book of length I ever read, way back in first grade, and I gobbled up her Henry Huggins and Ramona series. I'll be sure to pass on her books to my own children.

MICHAEL CONNELLY - Prone to forced plots and absurd twists, he's still a great mystery read - in fact, you don't realize how crazy it was until after you've finished and recommended it. BLOOD WORK is among his best, although the movie was boring.

ROBERT CRAIS - His Elvis Cole mysteries are Spenser rip-offs for a younger audience, but they are well written and almost - almost - as good as a RB Parker book. LA REQUIEM is the best so far.

TERRY GOODKIND - Hey, normally I hate the fantasy genre. Hate it, hate it, hate it -but I love Goodkind. His SWORD OF TRUTH series is great, although he could stand to lay off some of the intense sado-machistic (sp?) scenes. If that last part didn't scare ya (and it shouldn't) then try picking up one of the series. They're all pretty good.

ROBERT JORDAN - Yeah, yeah. I still dislike the fantasy genre, but a friend hooked me on Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Each one is as thick as a phone book, and they really need to be read in order to be appreciated. But the man can write.

JOHN SANDFORD - The PREY novels are excellent and feature the self-assured, violent but moral characters that I'm drawn to. Check out EYES OF PREY, in my opinion the best of the bunch.

ED MCBAIN - The pseudonym of Evan Hunter, McBain's 87th Precinct novels are universally recognized as the original - and best - police procedurals out there. He was the print inspiration for shows like NYPD Blue and Hill Street Blues. Almost all of the 50+ books are great, but I favor WIDOWS and ICE. (under Hunter's byline, my favorite is The Moment she was Gone. Excellent!)

RUDYARD KIPLING - CAPTAINS COURAGEOUS is a sentimental favorite, as is his oft-quoted poem IF. SOLDIERS THREE ain't half bad either :)

STEVEN PRESSFIELD - An author that, in my opinion, either swings and misses or hits a home run. GATES OF FIRE is a novel about the battle of Thermopylae, where 300 Spartan warriors held off the Persian army until they died to the last man. It was a battle that arguably saved Western civilization, and the novel does it great justice. His latest novel about Alexander the Great THE VIRTUES OF WAR, is also quite good.

MINETTE WALTERS - Finally, a female author that ranks as one of my faves! As an Englishwoman Walters not only embraces, but accepts as par for the course a highly socialized welfare state. This is rather hard for an American to swallow, so be prepared. A strong sense of social responsibility pervades her work. So far, my favorite is THE SHAPE OF SNAKES.

ROBERT HEINLEIN - The master of science fiction. His posthumous GRUMBLES FROM THE GRAVE is a great look into the life of a writer, and STARSHIP TROOPERS is a compact novel that didn't deserve the bad movie it inspired.

DEAN KOONTZ - You know, I’ve read a dozen of his books and he still leaves me . .conflicted. I think he tries too hard to prove himself, almost like he’s a self-educated man trying to validate himself to the folks with a degree on their wall (which is odd, as I know he’s well educated). Anyways, maybe I’m crazy. If you like his work, almost any book will do.

STEPHEN KING - I’m not part of his fan club, and I think he’s one of the most over-rated popular writers and a stinking Sox fan to boot, BUT …THE STAND and THE SHINING are brutal, wonderful works of art. Just try reading THE SHINING while sitting in a hotel lobby in the middle of the night, I dare ya. If you like involved, multi-character novels, THE STAND is for you.

MARK BILLINGHAM - Detective procedurals set in London. Grim, violent work with a strong lead character. Try SCAREDYCAT on for size.

LEE CHILD - Extremely well written tales involving Reacher a strong, violent man of unflinching morals with a tendency to land in hot water. Do you see a pattern here? Skip the newest, as it’s a poor stab at a Republican conspiracy plot, but every other title under his name is worth more than a look.

* I’ve only read one book by this author so I can’t list him as a favorite, but if you want a disturbing book to go along with that holiday cheer, pick up THE BONE PARADE by Mark Nykanen. NOT NOT for the faint of heart. The main character makes Hannibal Lector look innocent.

BRUCE CATTON - The man knew the Civil War inside and out, and his writing made you want to read everything he had to say about it. As the subject of his books sometimes overlapped a loyal reader will see some repetition, but overall, a master of his art. Pick up MR. LINCOLN'S ARMY or GRANT MOVES SOUTH to start.

PETER STRAUB - A Milwaukee boy done good. Excellent novels, most set in the horror genre. Pick up KOKO or my favorite GHOST STORY.

DONALD HARSTAD - Hope I spelled that right. A retired Iowa sheriff’s deputy, Harstad now writes wonderful police procedurals set in an Iowa county. I can’t come up with a title off the top of my head, but everything I’ve read is worth a purchase.

Have fun, and happy reading!

The Post about the Person of the Year December 20th

As I'm sure you've already heard, Time magazine has named George W Bush its Person of the Year.

I will now pause briefly to allow the liberals among us a moment to weep, wail, punch the wall, and draw a Hitleresque mustache on the cover after canceling their subscriptions. Now take a deep breath.

All better now? Good. Let's move on.

But of course the left can't move on, a fact so tiring my piddly wit can't find the strength to make the obvious moveon.org pun. In the scant hours since the announcement I've read four five scathing attacks on the decision, most coupled with a condescending brush-off of the award itself.

Yes, I'm aware Stalin won the award twice, thank you. I also know that Hitler won it once, as did Khomeini and Khrushchev. After all, sainthood is not a prerequisite. The title goes to the person who had the deepest impact, good or bad, in a given year.

Which explains how Ted Turner got on the cover in 1991

If Bush wasn't chosen for his humanitarian efforts, as Gandhi was in 1930, he also wasn't picked as an excuse to waste an issue justifying the left's hatred. According to the editors Bush sharpened the political debate "until the choices bled" and was chosen for "reframing reality to match his design, for gambling his fortunes - and ours - on his faith in the power of leadership."

Bush won the award in part because he is a polarizing figure, inspiring adoration in one person and disgust in the next, and all the while never catering his decisions to the wishes of the latest Gallop poll. He is quite possibly the only man in the world to live up to the idea that we are not judged by who are friends are, but who we count as our enemies.

"I think the natural instinct for most people . . .is that they want people to like them," Bush said in the issue. "On the other hand . . .I take kind of a delight in who the critics are."

One of those critics, Michael Moore, was a finalist for the title and a better - or more aptly named - loser there has never been. John Kerry, who no doubt would have earned the nod if not for sixty million Americans, was named among the People who Mattered, a diverse list that included Nancy Reagan and Kobe Bryant.

It's not surprising to see that polarization come bursting back to life for a trifling thing like a magazine cover. What is surprising to me - and Lord knows, by now it should be old hat - is the amount of hate that transcends the political arena and leaks into the personal.

Included in the liberal attacks I mentioned above are references to the 'triumph of the short-bus students' and yes, I called it, a copy of the Time issue with a Hitler mustache. My, what an excellent advertisement for the party of tolerance and diversity.

You can argue this all you want, but anyone who blames their hatred on Iraq, 9/11, or the economy is a liar. Had the election of 2000 been clear-cut things would be different. The President may not have had any more fans, but at least the average Democrat wouldn't be sulking like a spoiled child.

But of course, they're free to feel and express what they like.

As for me, I'm off to buy a few copies of Time for the ol' scrapbook.

 

[fyi - if you want the complete list of winners, click here]

The Post about Kerik December 18th

This one's for the author of  cantkeepquiet.com, who posted a commentary entitled 'hypocrites' about the Kerik situation. Go ahead and check out the site, and when you do make sure to tell her I sent you his way. I'm not sure my contribution here refutes any of her claims, but what the heck.

 

 

It takes a lot for a newspaper headline to surprise me.

After all, having survived OJ, Monica, Bush/Gore, and the success of The OC in the last ten years alone, I'd thought I'd seen it all.

And then came Bernard Kerik.

One week after the announcement that he was the President's pick to head the Department of Homeland Security, Kerik suddenly withdrew his nomination. He claimed that the immigration status of his family's nanny, and his failure to properly pay her taxes, led to his decision. Maybe. But that's turned out to be the least of a seemingly endless parade of lurid and disturbing allegations.

Kerik, the former NYPD Commissioner, allegedly accepted thousands of dollars in cash and gifts without properly disclosing them and maintained an adulterous relationship with two women at the same time. He's also reported to have ties to a man suspected of being in the mob, stalked a former lover, used an apartment designated for 9/11 workers to wield his romantic magic, and used his position to impair the careers of anyone that crossed one of his lady friends.

Wow. Add a few more charges to the mix and the man could pass for a Kennedy.

But I feel I have to confess something. I knew about Kerik and kept quiet.

You see, everything I know about the New York Police Department I learned from watching Barney Miller and NYPD Blues. So when I heard about Kerik's nomination I thought back to the only image I had of him - 9/11 - and thought he was an excellent choice. Tough, seasoned, politically savvy - what wasn't to like?

A day or two later I stumbled on a web site whose name I can't recall. It had nothing to do with politics or NY at all, but the day's commentary was about Mr. Kerik. The site's author had worked under him in one menial capacity or the other, and for about a thousand words he proceeded to unload on his old boss. At the time I thought it was just sour grapes, but clean up thelanguage a bit and it could have doubled for most of the news reports of the past week.

Oops.

The obvious question is this: if someone in Milwaukee could discover the truth with a rusty 56k modem, why couldn't Washington?

I think the answer lies with that first, patriotic image I had of Kerik. Three years after the fact our images of a smoke filled New York remain vivid, the heroes of the day all the more so because they stood in such contrast to the harsh world that we inherited on that September morning. In the best of circumstances it's hard to see our heroes for the human beings they are. When that human being is as flawed and corrupt as Kerik allegedly is, it becomes all but impossible to comprehend the gulf between reality and caricature. That, and the ringing endorsement of Rudy Guilani, were enough to blind the administration to his faults.

That's no excuse. The careless vetting of Kerik made the Bush White House look foolish and kept the press jumping for a week. And while I doubt Kerik would ever have endangered the country had he been confirmed, it's frightening to think of what other scenarios a slip-shod screening could produce.

In the end, Kerik will land another job, the Bush White House will move on and those responsible for the mistake will learn from it and make the screening process impregnable. Washington D.C will survive.

It's a shame some of our faith in heroes won't.