google.com, pub-4909507274277725, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slapinions

Search This Blog

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Quote of the Day

I asked YaYa to check on the progress of a frozen pizza we had in the oven. After much hemming and hawing and one idle threat she got up and went into the kitchen.

"It's done," she called.

Lisa and I were in the living room. "Go check it," I said, a little irritated at YaYa's delay. "She probably never even opened the stove."

A moment later Lisa reported that the pizza was, in fact, perfect and good to go.

"You know what you should do?" Lisa told YaYa tongue-in-cheek, and well within my earshot. "You should march in there and tell your Daddy off for not believing in you."

YaYa hesitated. "Go," Lisa said, laughing. "Tell him off."

YaYa walked into the living room and opened her mouth to speak.

"Daddy," she said. She paused, looking very confused. "Off."

Lost: "Because You Left" Season 5, Ep. 1

Last night I wrote a long and introspective look into the heart of The Dan, one which, I think, was so insightful it would spare me a good year of therapy sessions.

Naturally, I deleted it immediately :)

Instead, at the request of Sarah J I present my thoughts on the season opener of Lost. It is a long standing tradition of mine to review and analyze each episode of the show, but I was forced to DVR last weeks episode and watch it later.

The two of you who care - that would be the before mentioned Sarah J and myself - will have to forgive the delay.

(btw Sarah - register on google and sign up as a 'follower' already. Geesh.)

So, let's start off-island.

Jack's still a recovering, shattered druggie. No change there. But Kate has a lawyer knock on her door and briefly show her what he claims is a court order demanding a blood test to confirm the maternity of her 'son' Aaron. The lawyer will not divulge the name of his client.

Now, to me, this is shady. Shouldn't this guy have approached her through more formal means? Why did Kate immediately buy his story? Even if true, this is the kind of thing that she could drag out in the court system for years. It would have been prudent to attack this head on, even if only prolonging the inevitable. But Kate being Kate, her first instinct was to run for the hills in a haphazard exodus.

So who ordered the test? It could be Ben's group, as it flushed Kate into the open and knocked her off balance, but then why didn't they seize the moment and bring her into the fold? No, my vote remains with Sun, who has now paired up with Charles Widmore and obviously holds a grudge against Kate and Jack for the 'death' of Jin.



[Memo to Sun: yeah, I suppose with some creative thinking you could hold them responsible. But Ben, Widmore, the Others, and, oh, your deceitful adulterous self would hold the most long-range blame for him being there, no?

And for the record: Sun was great for four seasons, but in the bad-girl/vixen role she comes off as so soap-opera it's laughable.

Meanwhile, Sayid has broken Hurley out of the mental hospital. In a wicked and original fight scene Sayid is knocked unconscious by drugs, but not before dispatching two men. Sadly, Hurley is seen with a gun in hand, leading all of greater Los Angeles to believe him a killer.


Hurley retreats to his parent's house and eventually delivers Sayid to Jack's care. Meanwhile Ben shows up to recruit Hurley, but in a burst of independence he runs outside and surrenders to the police to avoid falling into Ben's hands.

Ben is stunned and reports his findings to the White Haired Woman. We know she is connected to Desmond and in this episode is ID'd as a possible mother for Daniel Farraday. She repeats that he has no choice: bring them all back, or the world is doomed.

Who's stalking Hurley and Sayid? It isn't Ben, not unless he set it up only to have it backfire. Widmore? Possibly.

Oh yeah, f you read between the lines it seems John isn't really dead, or if he is it's only in a Spock at the end of Khan temporary way, so I wouldn't be shocked when he shows up again in the 'present day'.

Speaking of time, it appears the island is sliding back and forth in time, or at least the Losties are. They bounce from the time of the Beechcraft crash to the post-hatch era and back again. I found it all rather ho-hum, save for Ethan's attack on John.


Even that was irrelevant, if not for the fact that it later brings Richard into the frame to fix up John, hint at time travel yet to come, and bring in some much needed comic relief.

"What's this?" John said.

"It's a compass John."

"What's it do?" John said presuming it is of vital magical importance.

"It points north John," Richard replies.

[note: there might be more to this than mere flippancy, as Eko referenced North and it's come into play before. Wait and see]

The Losties eventually come under attack by a very hostile group that kills several people and threatens to torture Juliet. Who the hell are they?

* * * * * *

I wanted to devote a separate post to the whole time travel issue, but I''ll just schlump it down here. Daniel's whole argument that the past cannot be altered, that there are 'rules' against this kind of thing . . .well, it's a sci-fi staple and there's a theoretical academic basis for it. My opinion? It's bullsh**.

Saying there are 'rules' in place to prevent a change in events is preposterous. Time is, if you will, a river. It moves forward constantly, although we always have the right-here as a constant, and someday we might very well learn how to ride against the current and revisit old sights. But the river does not care who was at the wheel while you went 'round the bend two days ago, not whether it was Abe or Jessica or the King of Siam, nor does it care if you travelled its length at all. It just is.

Presuming that there are 'rules' inserts the question of an intelligent force - a creator, or at the very least a 'manager' - into the equation; it presumes that what we do is of soooo very vital importance that the universe itself acts in direct opposition to our actions; and it downright locks down any debate on destiny vs. free will, since we can't do diddly squat without direct permission.

Plus, it is a sci-fi staple and I expect more originality from this show.

That's all folks. Til the next episode, adios.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

LuLu loses her first tooth!

By January 15th LuLu had been complaining that her two (bottom) front teeth had been loose for days. While YaYa had always been eager to yank 'em out when she had a loose one, Lu chose a more sensible path of waiting for it to come naturally. Unfortunately, one of the two was too loose to be kept in use but too attached to come out on its own.

It was time for intervention.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

My dental history reads like a visit to Lawrence Oliver in Marathon Man, and so I leave this tooth business to Lisa.

But LuLu met Lisa's attempts with panic and alarm

Photobucket

and so I had to step in. Cashing in on my reputation for squeamishness, LuLu firmly believed my claim that I just wanted to 'feel the tooth wiggle'. A few good rocking motions and a little 'oomph' and the tooth came out.

My little girl had lost her first tooth!

You cannot imagine the look of happiness and pride on her face. "I can't believe I did it!" she announced with awe.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Then, cue YaYa having a crying fit because we were allegedly giving LuLu more attention than we did her first tooth, which is a crock. Her evidence was that she couldn't find a blog post about her own tooth, which may or may not be true; either way tough tata kid, this was your sister's day.

[YaYa would later leave a note on our bed apologizing for her jealousy (her words) and asking our forgiveness. And, oh yeah, by the way can you make me Pop Tarts in the morning?]

For myself, I was stuck running to Target before they closed for the night. The normal Tooth Fairy donation is a buck, but for the first tooth we like to give a few trinkets instead. When YaYa lost her first tooth we were still living in the old, predominantly Mexican neighborhood. When the tooth gave up the ghost - again, near closing time for most stores - I had to run to the local El Rey grocery store and buy some hair doodads and a Virgin Mary necklace to place under her pillow.

LuLu got a [clearance priced] set of lip gloss in a carrying case and a set of two tooth Firefly toothbrushes that light up for a minute so the kid knows how long to brush.

Included with these items was a computer generated note from the Tooth Fairy, duly printed in a pink font.

[LuLu]

Congratulations on losing your very first tooth! I am so happy for you!
Here is a set of lip gloss for you and two very special toothbrushes. They will tell you how long to brush your teeth - I don’t want you to lose the pretty grown-up teeth you’ll be getting now!
I want you to give one of the brushes to your sister [YaYa] because my spies have told me she doesn’t brush enough!

Always watching,


The Tooth Fairy


She loved the gifts. The very next day she lost the other tooth and promptly dropped it in my bedroom, where it was never to be seen again despite an all-out search.
For that one we just left a note explaining the loss to the Tooth Fairy.

Happily, she didn't seem to mind and left behind a dollar for Lu :)

Waiter! There's a fly in my pancakes!

While making breakfast yesterday Lisa opened a 20 oz box of Bisquick pancake batter. The box was new and pristine, and the bag of mix inside was sealed and had no leaks, tears, or holes.

Despite all this, as Lisa was about to open the bag she saw a full grown and very healthy fly merrily making its way among the pancake batter. Remember, this was INSIDE A SEALED BAG.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Argh, hard to see anything in the last shot, but I believe it's crawling around the top center of the bag in that frame.

No matter, here's a video of the oddity.



Not exactly a finger in your fast-food chili, but it made for swell breakfast conversation all the same.

So did we make the pancakes? Of course - but not with that mix. We went out and bought a local generic brand, made right here in good ol' Wisconsin and not that fly-ridden General Mills factory in Minnesota.

"You should write Bisquick and complain," Lisa said as she made some yummy cranberry flapjacks.

"Darn right," I replied. "Why, we could be hundredaires!"

Seriously though, I am going to write them and complain. Yuck.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Notorious BIG: Bigger Than Life



"Poppa been smooth since days of underoos"

I was largely oblivious to the infamous East Coast/West Coast rap feud of the mid '90's, since it didn't seem very relevant to a white guy in Milwaukee. If my allegiance could be determined by record sales, I was pure West Coast. I owned a pair of Tupac CD's, and Dre's Chronic was on frequent rotation on my stereo.

Even so it was hard to escape the influence of East Coast rapper Biggie Smalls, a man widely respected by everyone in the industry, even Tupac. That last one says a lot, since the Biggie/Tupac feud was at the very center of the West/East Coast dispute that eventually led to both of their murders.

Notorious BIG: Bigger than Life is a documentary that traces the life of Biggie - aka Christopher Wallace. It is NOT the current feature film based on his life.

It doesn't focus soley on his music career, interviewing many of his pre-sucess friends and showing home movies of Biggie rapping at a street festival. The movie, which runs two and a half hours, also includes an interview with Biggie filmed shortly before his death, footage of the LA radio interview that may have triggered his murder, tape recordings of death threats, and actual fan video of his murder.

I took two things from the film. First, while his interview was only so-so, his personality as shown in candid moments and the home video revealed a friendly and entertaining man. Second, from all apperances he sought to avoid inciting the coastal feud, ignoring provacations and once talking himself out of a murderous ambush set up by a West Coast rapper. He rapped to escape the streets; it appears he had no intention of using his fame to meet the same predicatble end.

An aquired taste I'm sure, but if you have even a small interest in rap or the pop culture of the '90's, take a look at this documentary. Heck, it made me want to see the major motion picture of Biggie, but I'll wait for the DVD.

2.5 stars.

Here's a sample of Biggie's work, Hypnotize. Warning: sexual content and vulgar language. .

Note: some of the lyrics on the video are wrong. 'Speak my peace" etc is written as 'piece', and I believe 'Air Nike' should be "e'ery night"



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How I spent Inauguration Day 2009

When I was in kindergarten my teacher, Sister Pat, led us into the music room across the hall to watch the Reagan Inauguration. A short time later she announced that the hostages in Iran were free, and made a point of saying it occurred on Reagan's watch.

I don't remember if I knew what any of it meant at the time, but I must have. I look at my girls, who are roughly the same age I was then, and they have depths of understanding that would seem unbelievable to someone who's never had kids. I imagine it was much the same for me back in 1981.

So I'm a little disappointed that neither of my girls were given the opportunity to watch Obama's inauguration (no word yet on whether Smiley's school showed the event). Not that I like the guy or buy his rhetoric - I think that's obvious - but it is history, and a shining example to the world that even after 200 years we still believe in a peaceful transition of power to the opposition.

28 years from now it would've been grand for one or both of them to blog about their memories of today.

[By the way, I received an email asking why I closed comments on the Bush post. It was meant as a . . .heartfelt message more than anything, and if I'd had a way to do it I would have made that entry 'private'. It wasn't intended to spark a debate and so I made sure it didn't. We'll all argue about him another time :)]

As for me, I listened to about five minutes of the speech while on the way to change a flat on my Escort. My wife had loaned the car to her friend Chris, aka She of Negative Car Karma, and in ten minutes time she'd managed to all but shred the right front tire. What's worse the car was parked on a wide swatch of snow and ice, and I foolishly failed to dig out a base for the jack. Result? The jack slipped and the car dropped, ruining the jack.

While I waited by the Escort she took my van to go pick up another jack. She called a few minutes later to say that she couldn't start the van. I told you, cars hate the woman. It turns out she had just locked the wheel and it was a one second fix.

At two I took Lump into the doc for her checkup. She is 33 inches tall and weighs 24 pounds. Those numbers place her in the 90th percentile for height (meaning 90% of girls her age are shorter) and in the 25th percentile in weight (meaning 75% of girls her age are heavier).

In other words, she's tall and skinny.

The doc thinks she has allergies, since her runny nose is perpetual, and gave us a prescription. Other than that, she's perfectly healthy. She didn't cry or even flinch during the *four* shots she got, but bawled and fought over the blood test.

Here's the part I don't like. When I tried to report in the results to Lisa I was told the doctor had already called and told her everything. This is the second time a doc from that office has done this; the first time a Doctor flat out said she didn't trust me to properly relay her findings because she 'knows how men are'.

WTF???

Mind you, this is one of the most respected and learned pediatrician offices in the city. But the reverse-sexism explicit in their calls just galls the hell out of me.

Speaking of doctors I fear I'm going to need one. My sinuses have been clogged for weeks now and now I'm staring to get very minor nosebleeds. It kind of snuck up on me. It took Lisa pointing out the amount of time I've had the problem to realize there was a problem at all.


By the way, Lump's nickname is staying for the time being. The only other option would be the discarded Smiley nickname of 'Maker of Trouble and Mayhem'. She is 100% hell when on the loose in the house, just destroying everything in her path. I took her out of her crib the other day and on the way to the floor as I put her down she grabbed two items off a shelf and threw them across the room. Anything and EVERYTHING she touches is meant to be eaten, thrown, dumped down the stairs, broken, or tipped over. There is not a Cheerio's box in Milwaukee that she hasn't scattered across the floor and I weep for my home when I see her on the prowl.

Tonight it was dance class for the kids and Lisa and wonder of wonders, when we got home the kids made it from the van to the house without tears, screaming, or violence.

It was like winning the lottery.

Thank you Mr. President

"The true history of my administration will be written 50 years from now, and you and I will not be around to see it.”




It was my pleasure, sir, to have campaigned for you twice, to have seen you speak in person as both Governor and President, and to have witnessed your second inauguration.

On behalf of me and my wife, and our children - all four of whom I'm proud to say were born during your administration - may God bless and keep you.

Thank you.

Monday, January 19, 2009

How those Breakfast With Santa Crafts turned out

Oh, you were dying to know weren't ya? Here's some pics from that weekend.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Even Lump wanted to help her sister. Don't worry, she was in the center of the table with someone on guard to watch her movements.

Photobucket

Photobucket

and here's an example of LuLu's bracelet craftsmanship.

Photobucket