Grandparents Day 2009

Today was Grandparents Day at school. I'm not sure why this was such a big thrill to LuLu and YaYa, as they see our parents all the time, but this morning you'd have thought it was '64 and the Beatles were coming to pay a call. Seriously.

[I just yelled to Lu in the other room: "How was Grandparents Day?" Her answer "Awesome!!"]

Anyhow, my Dad attended, as did my mother-in-law and my wife's stepfather. (My Mom did not attend due to mobility issues.) There was a Mass, followed by classroom visits that included demonstrations and activities, and snacks.

YaYa demanded that she accompany both Grandpa's, because "they always have to go to the bathroom, and then I get to walk them there." In the end she traded off with Lu, who spent much of the time with her Grandma.







Thanks to everyone who showed up to display their love for my girls! (all photos courtesy of my Mother-in-law; because of this, she doesn't appear in any of them!)





LuLu: "This is my graph for everyone. I'm pointing to me and I am the one in the blue dress and not the one in the purple. And I'm the third one, the third. It was very fun, we did it in social studies in my room with the other class too, cause there were a lot of people cuz we only have 11 people in our class. I like trains but I never been on one so I'd really like to, cuz I like them, cuz I've only been on a fake one with Grandma Jeannie. It was a real train, but now its a fake one for people to ride around in a circle, and I did it with Bella my friend. "

Fido

In the world of Fido, mankind has waged an all-out war against zombies and achieved a questionable victory. Our cities are safe, cordoned off from 'the wild', but zombies roam free over much of America. .

No matter. In the movie's 1950's era suburbia captive zombies are trained to be butlers, maids, and to perform menial jobs. They're the perfect working class, so long as their restraint collars are in place.

Sadly, Fido's collar slips one day and he consumes part of an elderly woman in the park. Young Timmy Robinson sees the carnage but acts to protect his zombie playmate and hides the deed. Soon the woman rises as a zombie herself and begins what becomes a zombie plague on the town.

Thankfully, Timmy's Mom has developed a bit of a crush on Fido and joins in the attempts to save him from harm. Her position is understandable. Her husband is emotionally distant, and has a phobia about zombies ever since he killed his own (zombified) father.

Will the Robinson's save Fido, or will they themselves be exiled to the wild? Tune in and find out.

This film is a hoot.

It's a comedy, start to finish, and at times it's laugh out loud. When it's not, you still have a smile on your face. It's kitchy and intelligent, anachronistic but well-drawn.

You really have to see it.

3.4 out of 4

What Dreams May Come

What Dreams May Come is billed as a 'novel', one adapted into an award winning Robin Williams movie in the '90's, and there is indeed a whiff of a storyline. But let's cut to the chase: in reality this is as much a novel as I am a Samoan hockey player.

The book is told in the first person by Chris Nielsen, a recently deceased father and husband who channels his words via a medium. He dies, is lost in a fog for a minute, then moves on to 'Summerland', a here-after created by thought. In Summerland humans still hold jobs and deal with the issues of their lives - a sort of non-denominational Purgatory if you will.

Lo and behold his wife Anne cannot live without him, as they are, naturally, just the most romantic and in-tune couple in history dontcha know, and she commits suicide. For this act she is sent to the equivalent of hell, and Chris sets out to find her and bring her back into Summerland.

I don't feel right reviewing this book because it isn't a novel, it's a thinly disguised religious tract for whatever combination of beliefs Matheson holds dear.

True, I think the beliefs pushed by the book are by and large bunk, but that's me; I don't care what others believe and it wouldn't necessarily ruin the book for me. Even if this book were detailing Catholic dogma blow for blow I'd have been irritated and bored.

It reads like one of those little Evangelical comic books you find left behind in public places. As with those tracts, the goal isn't to entertain, it's to dryly hit you over the head with someone else's beliefs.

"How is it made?"

"By the imposition of mental imagery on the
ideoplastic medium of your aura."
-pg 92

According to the afterward, people have been known to weep after reading this book. I'd imagine so. After all, it is quite a chore to plow through.

An awful waste of time; avoid this drivel.

Alice in Chains - Sept 20th

This past Sunday I saw the resurgent Alice in Chains at the Eagles Ballroom here in Milwaukee.



I know some fans view the William Duvall era an affront to the memory of Layne Staley and classic AIC, but I disagree. I first saw this lineup at an acoustic show here in '07, and while Layne will always be the king, Will is a legit talent. Staley was then. Duvall is now. I wish Staley was still walking the earth, but life goes on for the rest of us.



Their set opened with Rain When I Die. The moment that dark, unrepentant dirge thundered out from the stage . . . man, it was the '90's all over again, and F any lead singer controversy. Alice in Chains was present and accounted for, and every bit as hard as ever.



The venue was packed with a predominantly male crowd between 21-40 years old.



By the second song a mosh pit had formed and some folks were crowd surfing. I tapped my buddy, nodded to the frenzy at the foot of the stage, and said "C'mon, let's go!". He laughed and we stayed put.



The highlights of the evening, for me, were Angry Chair and Would? . Check my Brain, their new single, didn't make an impression on me one way or another in concert. Driving home today, however, I heard it on the radio, instantly recognized it as AIC, and proclaimed it damn good.









A great concert. I've seen AIC twice now; I look forward to the hat trick.

Reminder!

Remember to watch Glee tonight on Fox 9/8 central.

Smiley's Homework

Last week I told you about the latest fad in the Slapinions household, a crazy obsession with inch-long animals made out of hard foam. You can find them at the dollar store, and when you immerse them in water overnight they grow like a Gremlin.



I thought the gimmick would pass, but as I type this I have a kettle of water on my dining room floor (turtle and starfish) and a pair of mixing bowls and two large kettles in the living room (chock full of various foam animals).

I haven't been able to cook spaghetti in weeks.

Smiley begged me for a foam starfish for days, in his peculiar Smiley talk that in this case would be indecipherable to anyone but us. I finally relented. Here's a picture of it after a couple hours in the water.



And a few hours after that.



Anyhow, Little Man had a homework assignment. Each month it's assigned to the family, and you're supposed to complete it with him. For September he was supposed to fill in the outline of a gingerbread man with pictures of things that were important in defining who he is or what he likes right now.

This afternoon Smiley went outside on his own, rummaged through our van, and came back with the packaging from one of the animals. Ok, whatever. I continued with a fine episode of Match Game '77. A few minutes later he brought me the homework sheet and his handiwork. On his own, he'd decided to cut out each of the animals advertised on the package and use them on the sheet. I was bowled over that he thought of it and praised him to no end. Here was the end result.




Here's what defines him in September of 2009: those foam animals, mac 'n cheese, Spongebob Squarepants, football, hot dogs, his sisters, pizza, Elmo, Spiderman, Chuck E Cheese, and Caillou.

Caillou is currently both his favorite TV show and web site. He can navigate the games on the Caillou page with ease, and never fails to get excited and say "me fouw two" when Caillou states his age in the show's theme song.




The bald kid's nothing new to us, as YaYa was a HUGE Caillou fan. I used to joke that we should have named her Caillou Andromeda (inside joke) but it seemed to skip Lu. Glad to see Smiley's resurrected the tradition.

"The Landlord" by Will Ferrell - "You Pay Now . . B**ch!"

Click HERE to watch the sketch on Funny or Die. Adult language is involved. Duh. :)



Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are hanging out at Will Ferrell’s house. Adam McKay is reading an issue of Vogue Magazine and Will Ferrell is rummaging in the refrigerator for something to drink.Adam McKay: So, it says here that Madonna is reinventing herself again. Hey, did you get that letter from the doctor yet?Will Ferrell: I did.Adam McKay: What did it say?Will Ferrell: My dad’s gay.Adam McKay: I knew it. Those blood tests don’t lie man.Will Ferrell shakes his head in agreement. There is a knock at the door.Adam McKay: Who’s that?The screen goes black and white text reading “the LANDLORD” is displayed. Will Ferrell can be heard speaking.Will Ferrell: It’s my landlord, Pearl.The image returns to Adam McKay. There is another knock on the doorWill Ferrell: I’m late on my rent.Adam McKay: Oh, I’m getting out of here, man. She’s nasty.Will Ferrell: No, no, no, please, I need you to stay.Will Ferrell goes to answer the door.Adam McKay: This is going to be ugly.Will Ferrell opens the door to reveal a very small girl that is only a few years old. She yells at Will Ferrell.Pearl McKay: Where’s the rent?Will Ferrell: You don’t have to raise your voice.Pearl McKay: You pay now!Will Ferrell: I can give you half.Pearl McKay: You pay…now, bitch!Will Ferrell: Hey, don’t talk to me like that, okay.Pearl McKay: I’m tired of this crap.Will Ferrell: Look, I…I thought I was clear in my email, I need a couple weeks.Pearl McKay: I work too hard…Will Ferrell: Can I just get two more weeks?Pearl McKay: I want my money!Will Ferrell: You need to relax.Pearl McKay: You’re an asshole.Will Ferrell: Uh-uh! (Shakes his head in the negative.)Pearl McKay: I want my money, bitch.Will Ferrell: Hey don’t call me bitch! I’m a grown man!Pearl McKay: Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.Will Ferrell: God, you’re mean.Will Ferrell starts crying and Pearl McKay begins laughing at him.Will Ferrell: Hey, don’t make fun of me crying.Pearl McKay: You’ll be evicted.Will Ferrell: I’m not doing so good, Pearl.Pearl McKay: I put you on the streets.Will Ferrell: Pearl, I’m gonna pay you. I’m working three jobs right now. I’m working nights. I’m driving a cab. I’m inside with my buddy right now, just going over my resume.Pearl McKay: I’m gonna smack you.Will Ferrell: Okay, you know what? You need to relax.Pearl McKay: I want my money!!!Will Ferrell: Look, why do you need your money so fast? Come on.Pearl McKay: I need to get my drink on.Will Ferrell: You scare me. You’re an alcoholic.Pearl McKay: Can I have 4 beers?Will Ferrell: Seriously, you are an alcoholic.Pearl McKay falls down on the front step.Will Ferrell: Yeah you’re drunk. I knew it. You’re already drunk.Pearl McKay: I’m just buzzed.Will Ferrell: You know, you’re in…you’re in no condition to deal with this right now.Pearl McKay starts to walk away and a bottle of beer is in her hand.Pearl McKay: I’m taking my beer.Will Ferrell: Just take your beer and get out of here, okay. Yeah, we’ll talk tomorrow. This isn’t over.Pearl McKay: (Looks back at Will Ferrell) Come, mommy.Will Ferrell: Jesus.Will Ferrell closes his door fearfully and the screen cuts to black.

Not her favorite thing

So sick of the sound of sports on my tv....lol And people wonder why we don't do video games?? - Lisa

Slapjacks falls to 1-1 in Fantasy Football

I don't know if you can make out the scores below - click on the image to enlarge and clarify it - but all you really need to see is the big fat zero by Antonio Bryant. He sat with an injury but I didn't notice and replace him in my lineup. So despite a 25.6 pt game from Miami's Ronnie Brown, I lost by just under four points. D'oh.

That drops me to 1-1. I don't want to drop in the hole, so I'll have to regroup and pay close attention this weekend.

The Nanny

I'd just like to take this opportunity to recognize what may be the least-acknowledged, laugh-out-loud sitcom of the last twenty years: The Nanny.

I honestly don't feel the need to explore the reasons behind my affection for this sitcom, but let's try the shorthand version.

* a strong ensemble cast with great chemistry and a penchant for physical comedy
* a series of dependable running gags that never failed to produce a laugh
* well written (if fantastical) scripts
* and , uh, yeah - Ms. Drescher.

Yum. Yum. Yum.

Anywho, one other thing I loved about the show: the theme song succicently set up the premise for the show, ala The Brady Bunch and Giligan's Island.




Catch The Nanny on Nick at Nite. Check your local listings for times.