LuLu's Birthday, pt 2

                              

What? You thought one party was enough?

Nope, we had the family event tonight at the house.

 

Present were my father and the oldest of my two sisters, my mother-in-law and Lisa's step-dad, my wife's Aunt, and the six of us.

Again, it was on to presents. This was from Lisa's Aunt:

From my family Hannah Montana sheets, a chalk rake, and a Hannah Montana guitar

Lisa's Mom gave Lu a fun gift. Packed inside a box inside a bag inside wrapping paper inside more bags was a wooden box with ten brand new John Quincy Adams dollar coins. She got a kick out of unwrapping it all.

It was a casual but enjoyable party. Towards the end disaster struck. LuLu got upset with her brother and tossed down the ear microphone for the Hannah Montana guitar. It promptly broke off, but it shouldn't have. I doubt a glass would have broken with the same four inch fall in the laundry room. I scolded her even so for her ridiculous tantrum, but tried and failed to exchange it with her at Target - dang their firm gift receipt policies!

Surprisingly, she offered no screaming or crying fit when Target sent us on our way, which was unexpected but appreciated.

So, my girl is 5 years old. Yikes. Time sure does fly.

Love you Lu!

Happy 5th Birthday LuLu!

      

Just about the time I'm writing this, at 9:59 pm on June 4th, 2003, my LuLu was born. At 9 pounds 5 oz she was the biggest of my kids at birth but the easiest and most peaceful of all the births.

This past Saturday we held a party for her and her friends in the Princess-themed  room of a local hotel.

Because it was supposed to be a girls-only party and I'd succeeded in dumping the two little one's off at Grandma's, I was looking forward to an ill-deserved night alone at home. Alas, Lisa's Mom aka the scheduled helper, hurt her ankle and so I was pressed into duty.

At first - well, throughout the party - the girls were fascinated with the carriage in the room.

But eventually we split them up for activities. One group did 'pin the crown on the Princess'

and YaYa led another in playing the 'Pretty Pretty Princess' board game. I would later take over leading the game and everyone had fun.

Then we sat down to make our own Princess wands.

 

Then it was time to sing happy birthdayand enjoy the cupcakes.

And then - presents!

We bought LuLue a purse, pants, a book, a Hannah Montana t-shirt

We also bought a horse set, complete with pony, both of whom actually eat the food that comes with them,  and changing clothes for them both. Originally $30 at Target, Lis picked it up for just over $7 on clearance.

YaYa got her a little teddy bear  wearing a Happy Birthday hat and some glitter socks, all in a purse-like carrier. LuLu really seemed to like it.

There were many other presents, many of which I won't list here. Rest assured, she loved them all.

After that, as the party wound down, each girl took a photograph with Belle.

Everyone went home with a purse Lisa had personalized.

The girls were pretty tired.

But after all the classmates left phase 2 began. My girls, their two cousins, and Chris' kids stayed the night with Lisa.

I stuck around while they went swimming. Initially I kept YaYa out of the pool because she'd been very naughty, just over the top jealous of her sister. After making her sit with me and watch the others swim for 10 or 15 mintues I let her in the water.

[she impressed me at the pool: From a standing position she can lauch herself forward and complete a full front somersault before hitting the water. Where the heck did she learn that?]

I went out and bought dinner (Pizza Pizza! aka Little Ceasars at Lu's request) and an ice cream cake.

After that I returned homeand Lis slugged it out solo for the rest of the night.

I think it was a great party, and I think the girls thought so too.

Happy Birthday LuLu!

Like 'The Mist', only instead of fog and aliens it's sunny and there's a guy with a gun outside

I won't keep you long tonight. But a quick anecdote worth remembering.

I was on my way to LuLu's  Birthday party with two of my nieces in tow when Lisa asked if I could stop and pick up some last-minute party items from the Dollar Tree. No problem, since it was on the way and features a healthy hardcover book selection.

While I was standing in the book aisle a Mexican guy ran right into me. Normally I'll shrug off an accidental bump or nudge but this was so noticeable I reacted without even thinking.

"What the hell are you doing!?" I said.

"Gun!," he replied. "There's a black guy outside with a gun. He loco [here he twirled his finger against his temple]. He already knock out some windows. Run. Police coming."

Oh for Pete's sake. I was hoping he was full of crap but a quick look to the front of the store showed people running in the parking lot. Inside the store the staff locked the front door and prevented customers from walking outside.

Grand.

I called Lisa.

"Yeah, I'm going to be a little late for the party. There's a guy outside the dollar store with a gun." I said.

"What!? Are you kidding me?" she said.

"No, I'm serious. We're fine but we're stuck inside."

"Did you call the police?" she said a little frantically.

"I didn't think of that. I figured I'd call you first and see how the party was going. Yeah, of course the police are on the way," I said a bit testily.

"Ok, just stay inside. Call me and let me know you're ok," she said.

"Will do. But listen, not to sound like a [bleep] or anything, but the hell with the shopping list. If I see the chance, I'm running for the car," I said.

"Of course! Of course!"

Well, this just sucks, I thought. I'm going to be late for my kids party, I'm responsible for the lives of two children that aren't my own, and the store had zero new books worth reading.

I took the girls into a nook in the back where the restrooms are located .They're rinky dink one toilet affairs with homemade 'out of order' signs permanently taped to the doors.  I pulled the 12 year old aside.

"Ok, listen up. If this guy gets into the store I want you to take your sister, go into the restroom, and lock the door. Don't come out until the police or I get you," I said, "Understand?"

"Yes," she said very solemnly.

"Good. Now in the meantime find me a yellow tablecloth and a princess tiara," I said.

There's not much of an ending to this tale, thank God. A few minutes later the cops came and he gave up peacefully, explaining that he'd acted out because he was mad at his parents.

[What an excuse. As I told my Dad later in the day "Big wup. I've mad at you and Mom for 30 years and you don't see me shooting up the dollar store."]

Now I know the guy who bumped into me was telling the truth. After all this we waited in line to buy the tablecloth and tiara, and the store manager told us the guy had knocked out one of their windows and one in the grocery store next door. I saw all the cops in the parking lot, and I overheard one of them as they interviewed the manager.

But . . ..

Granted, when we got out the door (cops or no cops) we sprinted for the car, but I'm danged if I can remember seeing the broken windows - and we're talking the usual, super-size business windows.

Anyway, pretty much a non-story. In the next few days: my nephew's graduation, LuLu's party, Lost's season finale, and reviews of a Robert B Parker book, Salem's Lot, and Flakes.

'Til then :)

Tags: blogplugs

Four minutes of baby footage. Hey, at least it's more interesting than watching The View

For those of you who read the previous post in the first few hours after I wrote it, take note of a correction: Lump is not 27# but 17#, a glaring typo that made my nine month old sound like a hungry hungry hippo.

* * *

My sister commented the other day about a video I had made of Lump crawling. That was odd, considering I'd told no one about it and had only uploaded it to Youtube the night before. Apparently my every move is followed by my adoring fans. That, or my family is creepy nosy. :).

A word about the video, which was taken May 16th. Yes, both Lump and Smiley are in their diapers (or in Smiley's case a pull-up). Lisa objected to this saying that I never seem to show the baby in actual clothes, leaving the impression we live in the sticks and make moonshine for a living. I have no idea why the baby was sans clothes, so you've got me there, but I'd just given Smiley a bath and he should have been busy getting his PJ's on.  As you'll see he had other ideas.

Aside from the fact that I want to gag every time I hear my voice on tape, I sound a little exasperated at Smiley. I don't remember why, other than the PJ thing, and for all I know I'm hearing something that wasn't there in the first place.

Gadzooks, I like to over-analyze everything, don't I? Geesh.  On with the show!

 

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Just a family update

I won't waste time apologizing for not posting in a week, as I'm betting for some of you it was a welcome break. I will however offer some explanation:

A) I've just been busy as heck with work. I've said I seem to accomplish more now  in four hours than I used to in twelve under the old owners. I'm only half-kidding. It's amazing what you can get done when you aren't handcuffed by a budget the size of a pimple. I'm enjoying working under the new regime, although some of that might be a honeymoon glow that will wear off in time.

B) I haven't had any time to read anything. For instance, I just now finished 'Salem's Lot, which I've been plugging away at for weeks. With book reading down to a crawl there's been no time to visit other blogs. The guilt of failing to meet the tit-for-tat expectations of blogdom has slowed my desire to post.

C) I've actually been working on my fiction, which is a nifty change of pace.

D) Life, in general, has been hectic.

Ok, brief updates:

1. Me: still employed, still devilishly handsome. I kicked caffeine cold turkey four or five days ago, suffered through one day of exhaustion, and emerged with essentially the same energy level as always. The reason for the change?  I was downing two or three 20 oz. Diet Pepsi Max's a day, along with some standard diet soda, and I was getting a bit jumpy.

2. Lisa: still married to a devilishly handsome man. In high gear to prepare for LuLu's upcoming birthday party and YaYa's dance recital.

3. YaYa: 50 pounds at her last checkup and healthy. However, the doc did announce that she was constipated and prescribed a mild fiber supplement. Despite YaYa's best efforts to convince us that this was a malady worth mounds of sympathy and special attention, we've basically told her to be quiet and start pooping. :)

Last Friday I took a call at work from her school announcing that she had tripped and hit her face against the corner of a desk. No stitches, but a heck of a shiner and a small but glaring gash running horizontally across her left eye. Even now, nearly a week later it's still black and blue.

So guess what? Tuesday was 1st grade's turn to 'host' Mass, and during the homily on the Good Samaritan the priest said "And just last week one of our first graders - I won't say who because I don't want to embarrass them - fell when practicing for Mass and hurt her eye. And you know what? All the people who stopped and helped her? They were Good Samaritans too."

 You should've seen the grin on the kid - she loved the attention from her peers that gave her!

3. LuLu - 40# and healthy. Having some trouble with lower case letters at school but easily passed the 'entrance exam' for K5 next year.

4. Smiley - more and more often he goes #1 on the potty (standing up in front of it actually, which impressed me) and sometimes even #2. Just sometimes mind you.

Sadly, we've given up our long awaited placement at a great Montessori school for the fall and stuck with his special ed class for another year. He still barely talks, but he's shown some improvement. His non-verbal communication has greatly expanded in recent weeks.

5. Baby aka Lump - Lump being a nickname her Mom is trying to make stick. Just fine and dandy, sleeping through the night and a solid 17#. Of late she refuses all attempts to be spoon fed, preferring finger food and/or to slobber food in with her own hands.

I hope to post again tomorrow. Until then, have a good one.

Eating Out with the Family, or How to Ruin a Meal

After work today Lisa and I took the family to Boston Market. The total for three kids meals and two adult versions?

$32.

"For $32 I should've gone to Olive Garden," I told the cashier. And I wasn't joking; our Mother's Day meal was $48, and a heck of a lot better.

Still, at least none of the money was burned on tips. The day before I'd taken YaYa out to a restaurant for a father/daughter 'moment' and wound up having one of my old customers - aka one of my old 3rd shift 'regulars' - as my waitress. No chance she didn't recognize me since she greeted me by name when I walked in the door.

Shi*.

Tardy service, a spilled soup, slow refills, and she never once looked me in the eyes, not even when she stopped at my table and chatted for a few minutes, but I still felt compelled to lay down a $5 tip on a $14 meal.

I didn't even have the pleasure of a relaxing meal, since YaYa was a pill. At one point she snapped her fingers at the girl to get her attention - WTF????

"Boy she's mad today," the waitress said.

"No she's not, she's being a brat," I said. "Apologize. Now!"

She did, and was ok the rest of the way, but what an impression to leave behind.

[BUT . . it's not like  I haven't seen the waitress in some of her worst-ever 'please let me forget this night' moments, enough to earn YaYa a pass just this once.]

Another awkward moment: the waitress asked about another regular from back in the day. He was murdered several years ago, taken out in the woods in Michigan and executed, to tell you the truth, but apparently she hadn't heard the news.

Yeah, you try answering the inevitable questions after your kid hears you say that at dinner.

* * * *

In answer to some of the comments:

1. Nope, I haven't seen The Best Man in Grass Creek. but I'll bounce over to Netflix shortly and see if I can't add it to my queue. UPDATE: Couldn't find it there, but the Milwaukee library system has a copy. I'll take a look for it over the weekend.

2. Thanks to FisherKristina for her help in fixing an AOL error that was prohibiting me from posting.

3. Nah, there was no Bluetooth involved at the mall, she was just a kook. I looked real hard for an earpiece but came up empty. But you're right, sometimes those phones lead to all kinds of misunderstandings.

 I once held a Fantasy Baseball draft for a league I ran, right around the birth of bluetooth/hands free technology.  After each selection my buddy Tre would politely intone "John selects Ken Griffey. Ken Griffey" and so on to another owner who couldn't make the physical draft.

 At the end of the draft Tre took out his bluetooth and phone and laid them on the table.

"Oh, thank God," one of the other guys said, honestly relieved. "The whole day I thought you were just some nut who talked to himself."

True story.

P.S. I Love You

             

Oh, sure it was sappy, over-the-top, and featured too many Irishmen, but you know what: I really liked this movie.

P.S. I Love You is the movie version of the Cecelia Ahern bestseller. It tells the story of the recently widowed Holly, played by Hilary Swank, who is guided through the grieving process by a series of letters and packages her deceased husband arranged to have delivered in the year after his death.

Swank isn't an actress who's name screams 'romantic comedy', but she does an outstanding job as the grieving Holly. The supporting cast, led by Kathy Bates, Lisa Kudrow, and Harry Connick, Jr,. shine. And the story, while over the top, keeps you involved and pulls at your heart.

Flaws? Not many, and certainly not worth much of a mention. I didn't buy the main characters as 19 and 24 year olds in the flashbacks, but what are you going to do, invent a fountain of youth? I thought the couple squabbled an awful lot, considering we were able to glimpse but the smallest portion of their life together. And SPOILER WARNING I thought her choice of a final  love interest was odd, and an obvious attempt to clone of her late husband. It didn't scream 'I've moved on', which after all was the point of the movie.

As romantic comedies go, 75 out of a 100; on my own scale 80 out of 100.

* * * *
A word about the DVD extras. "The name of the game is Snaps' is one of the oddest but most intriguing DVD extras I've seen. You need to watch it.

Also, the interview with author Cecelia Ahern was sinful. One, because she was all of twenty-one when she wrote the book and made her fortune, and two, because she is very attractive, a true Danny-girl.

[That bleeping Snaps song won't leave my head. 'Snaps is the name of the game, the name of the game is Snaps'.]

 

More events of today

After the events at the mall I took LuLu and Smiley to the library. You know all that poetic nostalgia I have for my time as an employee there?

Yeah, tempered a bit.

Today The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel  published an online database of every city employee's salary and financial benefits for 2007.

Naturally, I looked up the folks I know. I was shocked. There are some former co-workers of mine who still have the same position, and all of them have a minimum of 15 years on the job by now, and probably close to twenty.

Even with overtime, the average of the bunch was $25,000.

Wow.

Then I saw the name of my old supervisor. She's since been promoted and now stands two responsibility/pay levels above my old job. With a hefty chunk of overtime pay she just barely approaches what I made last year.

And for the record, I make diddly-poo by most standards.

So the moral of the story is: I guess you can't go home again, or the grass isn't greener, or whatever other platitude you choose to recite.

And feel free to sock anyone who says all city workers are overpaid.

But I guess I really did make the right choice in leaving the library ten years ago.

Huh. Will wonders never cease?

* * * *

One thing about that online database, and the criminal and civil court records available on the web, and the Department of Neighborhood Services reports, etc.

I understand they've always been open records, available to all.

But I think the web does a disservice by having it sit out there for all to see. If I want to know what Suzie Q makes for a living or when she was busted for meth, I should at least have to put forth the effort to go to the library or city hall to find out.

I think that physical distance weeds out the freaks and the peeping Tom's. If you go all that way to view the info, chances are you had a legitimate reason to do so.

And yes,  I'm guilty of pandering to the voyeristic nature of it too. But hypocrite or not, it isn't right.

* * *

Here's a shock. The city inspector came back today and out of the blue said "now don't go writing about this on Slapinons again."

Turns out he's read the site, and has possibly visited more than once. Oopsie. Small world. 

Quote of the Day, and a Lovely Lady at the Mall

After work today I packed up LuLu and Smiley and headed for the mall to have my wedding ring repaired. Somehow I'd managed to flatten the bottom of the ring, almost to the point it would've stood up on its own if it wasn't so top heavy.

On the way home I called Lisa.

"Yeah, they said it would be a week and I could pick it up next Monday night."

"A week? How bad did you damage it?"

"It hasn't changed since you saw it. I think they just wanted to send it to a goldsmith in Chicago."

"Oh. Well at least it'll be free."[we'd purchased the lifetime warranty back in the day]

"Yeah, but I'm really upset. It's the first time in twelve years that ring's been off my finger for more than a minute."

"Awww, that's sweet. But I know you love me baby.. . "

"Nah, it's not that. I'm upset this didn't happen the week you were out of town. You're really going to cramp my chances now."

"God, how long did it take you to think of  that joke?"

"Oh, about ten seconds after the jeweler told me the news."

Sighs. "Dork."

* * * *

I do miss the ring though. There's a depression around my finger that borders on a permanent disfigurement, like some poor Chinese girl's feet a hundred years ago. And I'm very very used to twisting it constantly. It's absence is  . . bothersome.

* * * * *
On the way out of the mall a black woman walked up to the three of us and said "Loretta! Pull it god da** it! MotherF*er pull the g***amned cord bit**."

Well now. Allrighty. Not cool to say in front of the kids, not that they even noticed.  I quickly gauged the physical threat level, dismissed her, and got on with enjoying my Aunt Annie pretzel.

Priorities and all. Besides, by now I'm used to kooks.

But on the way out I noticed that without meaning to, the woman and my fine trio seemed to be in sync, We turned, she turned. She went left in front of us, we wound up going left. At one point Smiley ran in front of her towards the escalator and I had to push past her, begging her pardon. She said she understood and said 'go ahead" polite as can be.

Ten feet later she began talking to Lorretta again. I noticed security quietly encircling our cozy group and decided it was time to get the kids back to the car. Still not upset, mind you, because this was diddly-poo. This isn't New York, but it ain't Mayberry either.

But the whole way through Boston Store we do the same joined-at-the-hip thing. Every time there was a chance to skip ahead the kids would want to stop and look at this or that, or jump on the giant shoe pics plastered on the floor.

We all walked out the door together, and the woman turned around, flipped the guards the bird, and said "See you later motherf**ers".

By now I've got a smile on my face because its pretty obvious this chick and I are going down together, Bonnie and Clyde style. I can't get rid of her, and now there's cops in cars following behind us. And no, I didn't want to stop walking, because I wasn't keen on the kids seeing more of the show.

It turns out this woman is parked three cars away from us, despite the fact that this is the largest mall in the state of Wisconsin, with a parking lot the size of Rhode Island. As she starts going off on the guards as her grand finale,  Lu starts to argue with me about where she should sit. Man, kids can be oblivious. I felt like laughing.

"Do you not see the crazy lady over there? Did you somehow miss the cops that were following us, or the  car that almost ran over Smiley? What do you think is going on here?  I really don't need to have two little kids get in my way if all hell breaks loose. Get in the bleepin' car"

And yeah, I'm proud to say I actually said 'bleepin'."

Misc Chatter

AOL's being funky tonight. Despite working within their software I have been asked to sign in whenever I visit an AOL owned site, including Slapinions. What a pain.

* * * *

An anniversary of some importance today. It's been two years to the day since I witnessed a fatal accident at work. As cliche as it may be, it seems like only the blink of an eye since it happened. It was easily one of the worst days of my life (and please Lord, let it remain solidly near the top of the heap, never to be bumped down the ladder by something worse)

I thought of that a lot today, especially since an unexpected city inspection took me into the scene of the accident for a long period of time (and yes, the inspection was a coincidence. I asked).

As on that day, my prayers go out to the family of the deceased.

* * * *

Even now, at 10 o'clock at night, I'm bitter that it isn't Memorial Day. All last week I thought today was the holiday. And even though I had planned on working today I'd promised the kids they could stay at Grandma's last night and sleep in. Oopsies. Once I found out the true date  I was strangely disappointed and sulky about it most of the day. Big baby.

* * * *

Since Lu wanted to see the dance concert, me and the two oldest girls threw down for yet another three tickets to Lisa's show yesterday. YaYa really didn't want to go but sucked it up and held it together, and both of them were pretty darn good during the show. Thanks for that.

* * * * *

Word came to me today that a former co-worker from my years at the library has passed away. She was a very large woman of considerable girth. At right around 5 feet tall her weight had a crippling affect and even as early as 1993 she walked with a cane and stopped and wheezed every few feet when in motion.. She continued to deteriorate in my time there, to the point where she became known for soiling the office chairs because of the pressure the weight put on her bowels.

I was always nice to her - believe it or not, my other job did not require me to play the part of the bad guy nor did it make me bitter and snappish - but in the recent years my recollections of her have joined a sort of supporting cast in my head: the knife-wielding transsexual, the morbidly obese woman, the mousy super friendly guy who carried pocket notebooks, the homeless customers, etc. She became a caricature, and frankly I feel guilty about that now that she's dead.

But you know what really sucks? She was recruited, heavily recruited, in her home state of Iowa by Marquette University, attended the school here on a full scholarship, picked up two degrees including one in philosophy, and then wasted the rest of her life on an entry level civil service job and ate herself to a lonely death over the course of the last thirty years. She used to say it was Gods Will. What a waste. What a lousy waste.

* * * *

On a similar but less dire score, Saturday marked two years since I ventured into Weight Watchers. Six months later I had dropped fifty pounds, then quit smoking and put it all back and more. I don't know, maybe the smoking was just an excuse to return to the food I love. Who knows? 

But I reckon it's time to start trying again.