Goodbye Netflix

It is with a heavy heart that I just cancelled my Netflix subscription, following a ridiculous argument on the phone with their customer service dept. The episode featured a operator who said "let me get my supe" a zillion times before I said "It's your *supervisor* not your g-damn lunch" which probably explains why said "supe" and I didn't get along either. I am now forced to cxl it because I lack the moral courage to say "I enjoy the service too much to let this ruin it." Alas, I have testicles, and so Netflix may rot in the deepest pits of hell before they get another dime of mine.

Smiley's 7th Birthday - March, 2012

In retrospect it's kind of rude I posted LuLu's birthday pics before Smiley's, given that his was in MARCH, but to be fair that was during me self-imposed exile from Slapinons. Let me make up for that wrong now.

Sometime in February I drove past what was once Allied Pools on 27th and noticed that it had been converted to a Lazer Tag/Go-Kart arena. A few days later Lisa took Smiley to check it out. The place wasn't even open for business until March 1st, but they let him tour and he loved it. Lisa booked the party on the spot.



Now Smiley was/is very into Pokemon, so Lisa went out of her way to may him cupcakes that looked just like Pokemon balls.





Since the place had just opened up they hadn't had time to finish constructing the party room, which sucked. It had a bare concrete floor and smelled mildly like the exhaust from the go-karts. We made do and in the end it was fine; besides, it was the only down point of the whole gig.





 It was a small party by design, and Smiley only invited 'close' friends - including two girls.







Soon it was off to play Lazer Tag.













The kids had a blast, and Lisa and YaYa emerged on the winning team, bragging about their prowess. Huh. Big wup. On the next round I joined in as more than a spectator. I grouped my team together before the round, doling out instructions and ending with a team cheer. As soon as the bell rang my platoon followed my orders to a T, taking the high ground (balcony), establishing sniper posts to keep the enemy away from he ramps leading up to us, and attacking en masse anyone persistent enough to make it to our lair.

It was a bloodbath. We destroyed them, leaving some of the kids in tears. I myself, serving under the nickname "Jinx" scored the highest point total, while two of my team rounded off the top three. Booyah!



Then it was time for lunch (subs) and cupcakes





Next were the presents!









We bought him a bank that counted the change as he put it in; the kid had been asking for one forever. We bought one for him for Christmas but lost it before the big day!





He got the obligatory Pokemon stuff



including a homemade beaded Pikachu keychain we bought at a Chinese take out stand :)





Even Ginger made him a present:



As party favors Lisa again looked to Pokemon, using plastic, er, globes with a red base and filling them with trinkets.



After the party ended we took Smiley over to the Go-Kart track in the building and paid for a round. I was a little worried it would all be for naught - he is, shall we say, *not* a daredevil, and cautious to a fault sometimes - but he loved it.





He turned out to be an excellent, if predictably careful, driver. 





It was a great party, and a lot of fun. :)

Yaya's 5th Grade test scores

YaYa got her standardized test scores yest on the last day of fifth grade. She placed at college level in reading and comprehension, but slightly below grade level in math. Apparently she can read and understand a college dissertation - she just can't give you an accurate page count.

Grant's Take on the Confederacy

If you're a person who still argues that the South had a legal and moral right to secede in 1861 *cough* Fred Bryan cough*you would be advised to read chapter XVI of U.S. Grant's memoirs (and the first page of the following chapter). I've rarely, if ever, read a more articulate and intelligent refutation of the CSA's legitimacy. 

 Fred Bryan 

Note that his refutation came after the illegal , unjust and immoral war. 

 Me: 

Would u have listened to him when he was just a clerk in a leather goods store? When else was he to write it but after his fame. Read it 🙂 

 Fred Bryan 

What I mean, is that it's usually pretty easy to justify what one did to an opponent that one has destroyed years afterward. Rome certainly justified the destruction of Carthage, after all. Or put another way, one can murder their dinner companion, then, before calling the police, arrange the scene to make it appear that the victim had gone berserk and that the killer had no choice. This was one of the great virtues of the Declaration of Independence, that the proposed course of action that the United Colonies wished to follow was laid out with its justifications more or less in advance. 

 Me:

again, read the chapter, esp the section where we points out that a document largely crafted by southern slave owners offered no mechanism for secession. All arguments for its 'right' came when the south could no longer dominate Washington and thus protect slavery. Or, to use your example, once they'd taken it upon themselves to try and murder their dinner guest 🙂

Reader Reaction

Surprisingly, in lieu of the expected hate mail, my in-box has been swamped by well-wishers ranging from ex-teachers to bank vp's (gasp! A One Percent'er!). I've gotten more venom thrown at me when I wrote a column about the Hoan Bridge - I kid you not.

Da Groundhog

One interesting anecdote from LuLu's birthday bash this past weekend: When I was out swimming Lisa and her Mom noticed something brown moving on the grass. "Is that a giant squirrel?" her Mother asked. They went to investigate, but the creature had the same idea and came up to join them in the pavilion.



First it just looked at the tables.



Then it went under and around them, trying to 'sniff' out the truth.



Eventually it started climbing up and on the tables.



Then it got bored and wandered off all on its own.



I wish Lisa could remember the way she told the story when I came back out of the water. It was LOL funny and sweet to boot. I guess you'll just have to settle for my version :)

Ray Bradbury

RIP science fiction great Ray Bradbury

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies

Ok, just finished watching "Abe Lincoln vs. Zombie" a clear ripoff of the Vampire Hunter book/upcoming movie. Abe and company try to fight there way out of a fort surrounded by the undead, and the President runs into Stonewall Jackson, Pat Garrett (of Billy the Kid fame) and a young Teddy Roosevelt, in addition to an old flame turned prostitute. It was bad, but not nearly as bad as you think. Most of the acting is dreadful, with the exception of Honest Abe himself, played by Bill Oberst Jr. Oberst does a hell of a job. With him I grade this a C-/D+. Without him, a D-.

The Scott Walker Recall Election

VICTORY!!!!!!!! 

 MSNBC and FOX are reporting Walker has won the election, but NBC is reporting it too close to call and the Journal-Sentinel is hemming and hawing. My 'victory' call might have been premature. We shall see.

CNN, NBC and ABC declare Walker the winner . . 

AP declares Rebecca Keefisch the winner of her race! 

JS Online just called it for Scott . . . 

Walker has acknowledged the victory to AP . . 

OK, enough politics. If my grin gets any bigger my cheeks might split. Time to fire up the DVD player. By the way Wisconsin - I've never been prouder to call this state my home.

Quote of the Year

After work Lisa and I took the kids with us to vote. Junie was SUPER excited, almost bouncing off the walls, but when we got in the car to leave she was near tears. 

"I want to go voting," she said over and over. "Why we not go in the water?" 

That's when it dawned on me. "Did you think we were going BOATING?" I asked, and she nodded. 

"Aww, poor kid," Lisa said. "That really is a letdown."

A Blaze of Glory by Jeff Shaara - a review

First things first, and I don't mean this tongue in cheek: what a lousy title. No serious work of fiction should ever instantly remind the reader of a Jon Bon Jovi song. Never. Ever.

None-the-less, with A Blaze of Glory Jeff Shaara has returned to the cornerstone of his family's literary legacy, the Civil War. This time its a visit to the Battle of Shiloh, with Albert Sidney Johnston and William Tecumseh Sherman as the primary focus of the bloody two-day affair, with a few lower ranking voices tossed in for good measure.

At times the novel slides out of the world of fiction and summarizes the days events to move the action forward, a necessary but cumbersome device that jars you out of the 'here and now'. I also felt shortchanged by his treatment of the second day, when the Union counterattacked and won the day. Yes, there is more drama to a surprise attack and the tense hours when the battle was in doubt, but I still hold that the second day could have been given more space in the novel and a better effort than what was put forth.

Those are minor quibbles. Overall I enjoyed the book immensely, as I have with most Shaara novels. He can certainly grab your emotions with his depictions of warfare: during a scene where a Union captive was threatened with torture, my heart screamed in rage, and I remember thinking that we were far too lenient of a nation at Appomatox.

If a work of fiction can get you that fired up about a 150 year old battle, then brother the author did something right.

Grade: B+

Book #41 of the year

Metal Tornado

I rented "Metal Tornado" with Lou Diamond Phillips, a flick about an energy company that mistakenly creates a 'magnetic vortex' that threatens to engulf Philadelphia. Oh, it's not as bad as the premise and title suggest, but it's still just a pastiche of every disaster movie you've ever seen. Grade: C

LuLu's 9th Birthday Party!

You know, it didn't dawn on me she was turning nine until I wrote the headline for this post. NINE. For some reason that's hitting me like a ton of bricks. I can't picture my LuLu being nine years old. I just can't.



Anyhow, if I can put aside my mid-life crisis for a moment: today, the day before her actual birthday, we held her her party at Cool Waters, a local water park operated by the Milwaukee County Parks.





It was a beautiful day for it. Temperatures in the mid '70's, a sunny sky, just a hint of a mild breeze, and the lush Wisconsin foliage on full display. It was the kind of day that reminds you why it's good to be alive.

We met the other party goers outside the main entrance and were led around through a side door and then through the park to our reserved area in a picnic area beneath a pavilion. It was a long enough walk that I joked with the hostess that this must be a new version of an ol' PT Barnum trick - making us pay for the privilege of being led out immediately through an exit!





We were the only group using that area and we soon had to select our menu choices for later in the day - one meal, one drink, one dessert per person. I was impressed. After that we suntan-lotioned up and headed out for a swim.



The kids soon divided up around the park. YaYa and the oldest child of our friend Chris hit the lap area;



 Lu and her friends the 3ft deep water



 Smiley (the only other male at the gig) spending time on the slides, in the 3ft water, and in the wading area;





 and Lump/Ginger hung out with her 4yr old buddy Tempe or Mommy or Daddy.











Here's Faith and Sydney:



I took the second turn with Ginger, and chased her around the shallow water playing "shark" or "monster", and took her by both hands and 'jet skied' her across the water. She had a blast. I also caught up to Smiley, who was busy practicing his swimming technique, and saw that YaYa had passed her swim test and was allowed in deep water. Alas, LuLu did not, and was encouraged by the life guards to "practice more".

Around 4:30 all the kids randomly showed up at the picnic area, and so I fast tracked the dessert order. They all took a few minutes to enjoy a frozen treat - some of which were as big as their heads!







Then it was back to swimming for 30 minutes before they were all corralled again for dinner.













After that it was time to open presents.



 First up, a pair of flower hair clips YaYa made for her:



Then our two big gifts to her (we had bought her a t-shirt, beach towel/bag, and bikini prior to the party). The big one (but one that was unfortunately - cockily - expected and so not a generator of the anticipated reaction: Justin Bieber concert tickets.



Then, a box of 40 Archie Comics Digests/Double Digests I bought off of Craigslist. She is a good reader, but a disinterested one, but she tears up her Betty and Veronica!





From her friends she got a Justin Bieber tshirt



sandals



a bracelet





Color Blanks, which are cube headed figures you can decorate on your own.



a memo board



a handmade card



and a Justice gift card



After some more swimming, it was time to blow out the cake and  pass out the party favors. Lisa had gotten here a kick-but cake from a Piggly-Wiggly in Timbuktu, and she loved it!





The wind was a bit too strong at that moment and kept blowing out the candles, so it was the fastest version of "Happy Birthday" you'll ever hear!





As for the favors: for weeks Lu had been discussing them, and wound up having us buy pink and/or lime green wicker baskets filled with candy and trinkets, and her personal selection - a hulu dancer bobblehead.





But, in a tragic twist of fate the box with them inside tumbled off the picnic table, mixing it all together. So the ladies sat down and reorganized it at the eleventh hour.



They were a hit. Then we all had our picture taken together by the staff



LuLu was given a special keepsake beach towel to take home



and all that was left was a long ride home.



Happy 9th Birthday LuLu! Your Mom and Dad love you very very very much!