Madam Web

 

Was it as awful as the reviews say? No, but that's almost an impossible standard, given how horrendous the reviews were across the board. 

I didn't think it was that bad. Not that it isn't a clunker. It's woefully written, visually stale, and - with the exception of Dakota Johnson -  badly acted.

The first act is salvageable. The rest - oy vey. 

(Light spoiler warning) Generally, you don't steal a cab and continue to calmly use it, not just for a day or two, but after you return from a week long trip. The three future Spider Woman are obnoxious tropes - the mean girl, the shy girl, the genius - and contribute nothing to the film And I mean that - you could replace them with Baby Yoda and not affect the plot. Why go after them anyway? It's painfully obvious to a middle schooler that the bad guys action *creates* the problem wholesale. And my word, enough with the Pepsi placement and the lame, slightly disguised nods to Peter Parker. 

Like I said, not as bad as advertised. 

But bad. 

Grade: C-

Psych 3

This movie was EVERYTHING a Psych fan could hope for in a reunion movie!

After two prior flicks that (IMO) just didn't capture the feel of the show, this one nailed it. The characters acted like themselves, the dialogue matched them perfectly and the humor and the story ticked all the boxes. 

In a perfect universe, they crank one of these out every two years for the next thirty years.  

(note: we watched this last July I think; I just now got around to giving it the props it deserves!)

 

The Current Occupant

 

After work on Thursday I went over to YaYa's apartment, ordered a pizza for us, and sat down to watch The Current Occupant on Hulu. 

The movie is centered around Henry, a man who wakes up in a mysterious mental institution believing he is the President of the United States, held captive in a plot orchestrated to put the VP in charge. Is he insane, or is he indeed the POTUS, wrongfully held prisoner by forces out to overthrow democracy? 

Who cares?. I know *I* didn't by the halfway point of the flick. Oh, there are a few reviews online who try and convince you that this is a deep, intellectual exercise that is just poorly understood by the uneducated viewer. No, it's a mediocre collection of tropes strung together with scenery and special effects that probably cost less than my last grocery trip (even accounting for the current inflation). 

It wasn't awful. We got through it. But I recommend you avoid the film. 

Still, a good time with my eldest, so I'll always have some fond memories of it. 

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain

 

First off, I don't care if it's the name of their comedy troupe, its's just plain dumb to include "Please Don't Destroy" in the film's title. 

Aside from that, it's a funny if forgettable film about a trio of man-children who go looking for a long lost treasure, ala Goonies. Conan was great, and their were many laughs, but I'll be danged if I anything else about the movie stuck with me a few days later. 

Still, you watch a movie to be entertained in the moment. I recommend it. 

Civi War

For some reason yesterday Lisa said she wanted to see Civil War,  which is completely out of her comfort zone; had I suggested the film, she would have said no LOL. 

So off we went to the Avalon. No one else but our exchange student Laura wanted to go, so it was just the three of us. 

Civil War follows a quartet of journalists as they attempt to travel from New York city to Washington DC during the pivotal last days of a 2nd  American Civil War. With the front line approaching the capital, they are forced to take a circuitous route that brings them into contact with different factions, with each encounter showcasing the brutality of the war. 

I loved it. I'm not saying it was a "top ten all time" for me, or a Best Picture candidate, but I thought it was exceptionally well done. I've read several reviews, both from theater goers and professional critics lambasting the film as "weak" because it "wouldn't take a side." And, indeed, it doesn't, not in the way they want.

 The cause of the war is never discussed. The philosophy of each side is not mentioned, although each faction commits enough war crimes to kick start a new Nuremburg trial. In fact, one of the main protagonists, the Western Alliance, is the unlikely union of California and Texas. a clear and conscious decision by the filmmaker to divorce you from your everyday beliefs.. You don't know who is who; who to root for, who to despise, who identify as "us" or "them."

That's not weakness, that's brilliance. 

The movie doesn't want you to rehash your personal beefs in the the theater, to choose Fox or CNN, blue or red. It wants to warn you of what is inevitable if division and distrust is left unchecked. A future fueled by divisiveness brings hate, and violence, and once that is unlocked no one is immune from becoming a monster - remember, ALL sides in this story commit atrocities, not just one. 

The critics who cry about how the movie is organized aren't complaining about a film, they are bemoaning the fact that they couldn't scratch that itch, couldn't achieve that glorious, orgasmic high of pointing at someone else and saying "See?!?! I'm better than them."

The critics, in short, are outing themselves as the very kind of people who should have taken Civil War's lessons to heart. 

Grade: A 

Louis Gossett Jr

Louis Gossett Jr, the first black man to win a Best Supporting Actor Oscar, has died at 87.

He was a pretty iconic actor in my childhood, and exuded dignity on the screen. I remember him best from Iron Eagle and Enemy Mine.

RIP.

40 Years On

40 years ago today, on a Saturday morning in 1984, The Breakfast Club served their detention at Shermer High School.

On The Line

On the Line is a Netflix movie where Mel Gibson plays a shock DJ who finds himself terrorized one night by a caller who has taken his family hostage. Lisa and I watched it on the recommendation of YaYa, who set us this very favorable review: 
 

My own take? I largely agree with YaYa, as did Lisa. There are a few cheesy moments of dialogue early on, and the hyper-crisp, high def visuals were distracting.. But the story itself was solid, Gibson made a point of displaying his acting chops, and the twist - I didn't see it coming. 

It's worth a watch!

Dune Part Two

 

On Sunday night I ventured out on my own to see Dune Part Two by my lonesome at the Avalon. 

Those who know me know that I am a big fan of Dune, having first read the novel in fifth grade (the largest book I had read up to that point - I finished it on the sly during a Cub Scout Pack meeting!) I enjoyed the 1984 film and the little of the miniseries that I saw, and I thought part one of this film was excellent. 

So my verdict on part two?

Visually stunning, well-acted, and just plain well-done. 

My beefs echo those of many Dune fans. I do not understand the need to truncate the narrative into a single calendar year, a decision that minimizes the difficulty of Paul's ascension, and forces the script to keep his sister a (as yet) unborn child, despite her role in the original novel. It's a pointless decision.

Nor am I a fan of Chani's pouty opposition to Paul; it completely contradicts the novel. Again, why? To stress the "false Messiah" message for the audience? Do it through your storytelling. Or was it to give a shallow nod to women by "upgrading" a loving and supportive partner into a sometime opponent? If so, it was terribly unneeded, as strong and powerful women abound in Dune. 

Those complaints aside, it was wonderful. I rate it an A-

Argylle

 

Lisa and I went to see Argylle tonight. It's the story of a spy novelist, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, who finds herself embroiled in a real life adventure when a spy, played by Sam Rockwell, saves her life from an assassination attempt. 

Ok, first, the elephant in the room: we didn't see if for Henry Cavill, but posters be danged he's in it for all of like four minutes. 

Second: what an odd movie. 

I enjoyed it, but if you can't figure out the plot by the end of act one and identify ten other films just like it in thirty seconds, you're a dummkopf. 

And there are some tripppppy scenes LOL. Lisa fell asleep during the film, woke up to me laughing out loud at the insanity of the oil skating scene, and thought she was dreaming LOL 

It's a mess. Not a boring mess, but a mess. 

Grade: C

Carl Weathers

Carl Weathers, the man who perfectly played Apollo Creed in the Rocky franchise, and appeared in Predator and 

 The Mandalorian, has died at age 76.

I loved his performance as Apollo. He was one of the best parts of the series and it wouldn't have been the same without him in the role. 

RIP

Man From Earth

 

Last month, at LuLu's suggestion, I watched Man From Earth.  It's a film set largely in a single living room, where five friends come together to say goodbye to a departing colleague, John Oldman. At the party John tells his friends that he is 14,000 years old, a survivor of the Stone Age who changes location every ten years to avoid detection. What follows is an intellectual discussion among the group that occasionally rises to the level of anger and violence, as they try to determine whether their friend is a medical marvel - or a liar. 

This movie is highly lauded, and Lu enjoyed it, but I thought it missed the mark. It wasn't bad, it was just . . . well, awkward. 

The small setting, the cast of friends that are suspiciously diverse in attitude, thought, and personality,  the dialogue-driven script, it all says "stage play" to me, not movie. 

Which is fine, but even as a play I think it falters. Remember what I said about the friends, how they were all so different as to make you wonder why they are friends at all? As the story goes on and they settle more into archetypical roles the friends feel more and more like they are there to justify to the audience why John is speaking; no, lecturing. 

SPOILER:

 I was also annoyed by the random brushes with the famous: Van Gogh, Columbus, Buddha, and let us not forget his assertion that he himself is Jesus Christ. Here, you may rightfully wonder if the film lost me with John's sacrilegious boast. No. Perhaps it would have, had the claim not struck so many other sour notes with me. He's of European ancestry, going back 12,000 years at that point, studied under Buddha, dismissed the idea of God, or at least an active God - yet he somehow chose to immerse himself in ancient Israel, living the life of a devout Jew? For what? Why? How did he pass? Not for the purpose of "becoming Jesus," because he makes it clear he wanted nothing of the sort. Nonsensical. 

END SPOILER

My beefs aside, it was entertaining enough, and I don't regret seeing it. I grade this a C+

The Iron Claw

Late Tuesday YaYa and Alex invited me to see The Iron Claw at the theater. 

The Iron Claw is the story of the Von Erich family of professional wrestlers, almost all of whom met a grim fate. I'll review it as a film first: it was dark and tragic, with little interest in humor or happiness. Start to finish, the movie envelops the viewer in a feeling of dread as, instinctually, you grasp that the so-called curse is very real, if not literal. It's very well done, and Zac Efron was great. I'd grade it a B+

Now, my personal review of the movie: 

I wanted to see this because the Von Erich's were my favorite wrestlers as a kid, and I have great memories of watching  them on World Class Championship Wrestling (WCCW) on either channel 18 or 24 every Saturday night.  Of the family, Kerry was my favorite, and I was proud that he later wrestled for the WWF, although by then I'd abandoned professional wrestling. 

I remember the Von Erich's feud with the Fabulous Freebirds, and later Chris Adams and Gino Hernandez. The "blinding" of Adams has always stuck with me. I remember reading about David's death and mourning for the family; I remember reading about Chris's death and being shocked; I remember Kerry's death hitting me in the gut. 

So for me, it both odd and exhilarating to see those moments recreated on screen. I caught myself - no lie - almost cheering out loud at one excellent move during a match before restraining myself with a reminder that I wasn't nine years old and this (too) was scripted. 

So for me, personally, as a testament to part of my childhood: I grade it an A+

Movies 2023

everything i saw in theaters, 2023 .I enjoyed Polite society, ballads of songbirds and snakes, and thanksgiving the most i think-  YaYa