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Sunday, January 15, 2006

Book Reviews

Last week, courtesy of a tidy little commission I earned at work, I paid off the fines on my library card.

The results for that fine institution? Imagine keeping Babe Ruth on the bench for a year - then handing him a bat with a 50 year old scrub on the mound.

I have single-handedly raised their stats to the point where the mayor can’t touch their budget next year.

Happily, this all occurred when the planets were aligned: I’d just decided I needed to force myself to unwind at night, and my wife - normally only a voracious magazine and web reader - decided to binge on a bunch of books herself.

I have two stacks of books in my bedroom, each one 8 or 9 high, featuring most of the books I listed in a previous post. (one good thing about not having a library card for awhile; all the books I’ve been dying to read are now old news and sitting on the shelf).

I’m itching to get to Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan, but because it’s a three-week rental, I’ve been busy polishing off the 7-day items.

Because I value my audience, as I know you value every single letter I type, I thought I’d give ya a short little review of the books I’ve finished.

Consider this Amazon-lite.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova - overall, an impressive debut. A young girl finds an old book in her father’s library. Otherwise blank, it’s pages feature a dramatic woodcut of a dragon - and the word “Drakulya”.

From this point, three storylines emerge: the tragic 1930 adventures of her father’s mentor as he hunted the apparently very much (un)alive Vlad the Impaler, her father’s tale as he followed in his footsteps, and the daughter’s quest to locate her now-missing father.

It’s a long book at more than 600 pages, and I walked away from it with mixed feelings. The author has talent, and except for brief periods it held my attention until the end, but there are three glaring faults.

At times it read like a travel guide to Eastern Europe, as the characters followed a meandering, tedious quest to locate Drakula’s tomb. You could have cut half the travel out and it still would have been over the top.

Kostova also isn’t the best at dialogue. Who meets a stranger and decides to dump their entire life story on them within minutes? Even if there is such a person, Kostova isn’t skilled enough to pull off constructing pages of oral reminisces that recall details as small as the color of a shirt, seen for a moment forty years back . . .

The last flaw? A tepid, foppish Drakula with all the menace of the Hamburgler.

 

One Shot by Lee Child - The latest Reacher novel. As usual, Child permanently hooks the reader within only a few paragraphs. Child’s mastered that as well, if not better, than anyone.

There’s always the danger that a character like Reacher will grow stale and predictable. I don’t think that’s happened yet, but I did find the resolution of the mystery a little over the top. It’s hard to elaborate without spoiling the book, but maybe it was a bit too elaborate for it’s own good.

Highly recommended if you’re a Reacher fan, but if this is your introduction to the series, close the book and pick up some of the older ones (but not The Enemy).

School Days by Robert B Parker - a great addition to the Spenser library.

Once upon a time, Parker was mailing the novels in, pasting together clichés and calling them books. And while the plots got thinner, the font size got larger, as if Parker himself didn’t have enough left in the tank to finish the job.

That’s changed.

School Days was great. Not only was the ever-annoying love of his life Susan absent (please, please keep her out of town forever) the plot was interesting enough to keep me turning the page.

Not only was the theme of the book strong - the aftermath of a Columbine-like school shooting- it went beyond the mere ‘facts’ of the case to address the gray nature of good/evil, guilt/innocence.

Spenser is at his best when his cases involve a philosophical examination of his world, and he hit’s a bulls-eye with this one.

Plus, the wise-ass Spenser is laugh-out-loud funny at times. J

 

Broken Prey by John Sandford - This was another series that I once thought was losing steam.

I felt the book started slow, but quickly picked up the pace and restored my faith in the Prey novels.

Lucas Davenport is investigating a Minnesota serial killer, who, influenced by the ‘Big Three” (three depraved and infamous killers under lock and key at a phyciatric hospital) ravages his victims in a disgusting fashion.

I didn’t see the identity of the murderer coming, and I certainly bought much of the smokescreen Sandford created hook, line, and sinker. Twists and turns abound, and the intelligence of the killer is frightening in and of itself . .

Recommended.

 

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30,000? Hard to Believe

It is hard to believe, but very soon - possibly even today - this site will reach 30,000 visitors.

(full disclosure: more like 29,600 as I've viewed the site at least 400 times. Whoopdeedoo - I'm not going to celebrate 30,400, for Pete's sake)

Should you be the happy visitor to tip the scales, send me a screen capture and I'll promote your blog and praise your name to the high heavens :)

I'll update later today, with some luck.

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Longhorns Win! Longhorns Win!

Oh man, what a great National Championship game, a classic people will talk about forever!. Vince Young is awesome, a one man wrecking crew!

Despite what I said in the previous post, 1/2 way through the 1st quarter I resented the cocky, too-sure Trojans and became a Texas fan.

I was sooo into the game my hands were shaking like a leaf when Texas was facing a 4th down with ~30 seconds left . .

Congrats to the players and fans of the Longhorns!

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Norman Chad vs USC

Hey, maybe it's just because I don't follow college football much outside the Big Ten, but I really don't have anything against the Trojans of Southern Cal. So I'm not sure what all the fuss is about in Norman Chad's new column.

Who cares? On a weak day he's one of the funniest writers I follow, and with a burr under his saddle  he's over the top . . .maybe a little too over the top to be the 'ideal' column to introduce you to him, but what the heck . .

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "Wanna hear a USC joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds and I'm a USC graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, 225 and he's a USC graduate. The fella next to him is 6-5, 250 and he went to USC. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy replies, "Naw, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

 

Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Years Resolutions 2006

This time last year, along with most of the universe, I posted list of New Years Resolutions. Unlinke most of the universe, mine occasionally crossed the line into 'bawdy', for which I humbly apologize.

Before I go about lising what I'll fail to accomplish in 2006, I'd like to revisit the unfufilled dreams of 2005.

I will lose weight by exercising more and practicing self-control of my eating habits. I will go to the gym on a regular basis. I will also quit smoking.

Uh, yeah. I think I'll finish the year ten pounds heavier, and while I quit smoking (about a dozen times) it remains a monkey on my back.

I will learn to braid my daughter's hair. Nope.

I will figure out how to transfer my home videos to DVD's using my computer Nope. Sensing a trend here?

I will attend church more often  Yup, 'tho in fairness the bar was set pretty low in '04.

I will help my wife catch up on our children's scrapbooks. No, well, sorta . . I consider this blog a scrapbook of sorts.

I will no longer invest hope, excitement, or expectations in my Milwaukee Brewers Well, be proud, I accomplished this - and in return they posted the first non-losing season in 12 years.

I will make every effort to secure publication of my writing, and will accept rejection with renewed determination  No, and no.

I will read a hundred books. Try twenty or fewer - I was behind the pace but still a'tryin' in June, but after getting that promotion I managed only one the rest of the year.

I will take the extra time to relearn my parenting skills to benefit my son. I don't know - ask my wife.

 I will not lose any more teeth in the coming year What a depressing list of failures. I lost an abcessed tooth on the 5th of July.

I will attend an out-of-state baseball game with my Dad  Sigh.

I will make some effort at mental improvement Well, I did watch a lot of the National Geographic Channel.

I will successfully find a better paying, safer, more challenging day job. Done. Good thing it was probably the most important thing on the list, or this whole thing would be a wash.

Ok, enough of the past. May I  present  Slapinions Rambling List of Likely Unattainable but certainly Doable New Years Resolutions (Had I Only a Smidgen of Ambition And Personal Will Power) 2006 Edition.

Except for the Brewers' thingy, ditto 2005's resolutions. Yay for me. In additon

Repair the videocamera/christmas tree stand

Finish my dang book

Boost revenue at my business 10% (minimum), with an overall goal of a 33% increase

Move into a better neighborhood, with more room for the kids.

Take my first real vacation in years; hopefully, a 10th anniversary cruise

Pick up XM radio so I can binge on MLB games this summer

Okay, that's  enough rope to hang myself. To everyone out there, a safe and happy 2006!

 

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Quote of the Day

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
— Ernest Hemingway

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

To  my visitors, be they friends, family, or casual readers: a safe and Merry Christmas to you all! God bless, and enjoy the season!

Monday, December 19, 2005

More assorted links

Look, I hate to fall into the blogging trap where all you do is post link after link to stuff that catches your eye - we have the Drudge Report for that, thank you - but I'm going to do it anyway.

First, there's the Milwaukee connection to the Bermuda Triangle debates. I've lived here all my life and had never heard of this, even with some pretty steady dealings over the years with the Air Force group in question.

On a more conterversial note, here's a scathing investigation into Tom Cruise's 'religious' life.

In Britain, there's a study that says girls routinely mutilate their Barbie dolls for giggles. They needed to fund a study to prove this? Socialized countries are the bomb.

And here's a neat little bit of karma - the same day I read about Racine WI's wooly mammoth controversy, I came across a link that says scientists are keen on resurrecting the species.

With thousands of intact carcasses frozen in Russia's soil, researchers may be able to inject mammoth sperm into elephants, eventually creating an animal 88% mammoth. They're also working on decoding the genetic code of mammoths.

Sure, it's very Jurassic Park, but this doesn't trip my ethical meter too much. a) mammoth's were around until at least 10,000 years ago (and some anecdotal reports indicate as late as a few centuries ago) and were eliminated primarily by man, not nature b) a reasonable facsimile of mammoths still exist (elephants) and thus, it isn't such a giant stretch of our world's natural order and c) mammoths are pretty darn cool.

How's that for a convoluted, hypocritical ethical position?

Later :)

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Friday, December 16, 2005

What is the closest star to the Earth?

I hate to think of what this means for Mankind . . .a fun little article, courtesy (in a roundabout way)  of Tom at Tomsastroblog.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Blockbuster Resumes Late Fees

Well, some Blockbusters anyways . . . here's the link. Consider this a public service announcement, as they've allegedly been ambushing customers with the new fees.

You know, of all the alleged Evil Empires I frequent - WalMart, AOL, etc - the only one that lives up to its horrid reputation is Blockbuster. Though I'm a Gold member and consider it one of my favorite stores, I've been screwed many a time - and I've lost track of how many coupons/discounts I've received as part of one lawsuit settlement or another.

I do agree the no late fee's policy had one drawback. Since it started, you had to play hooky from work if you wanted any chance of getting a new movie off the shelves. By 5'oclock they were all gone, not to be seen again for the better part of a week or more.

Oh, btw I have indeed updated the Amazon Wish List, as I discovered Dead Like Me's second (and final) season is now on DVD . . . naturally my Blockbuster doesn't carry it as a rental.

In other news, William Proxmire, a former Wisconsin senator voted one of the 20 most influential WI politiicans of the 20th century, passed away at 90. I disagree with much of his work, from his assault on NASA to his ridiculous 'Golden Fleece' awards (a publicity stunt to its core). Still, the guy had the knack for making his constituents love him, and he's a part of WI history that can't be ignored.

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