New Years Resolutions 2006

This time last year, along with most of the universe, I posted list of New Years Resolutions. Unlinke most of the universe, mine occasionally crossed the line into 'bawdy', for which I humbly apologize.

Before I go about lising what I'll fail to accomplish in 2006, I'd like to revisit the unfufilled dreams of 2005.

I will lose weight by exercising more and practicing self-control of my eating habits. I will go to the gym on a regular basis. I will also quit smoking.

Uh, yeah. I think I'll finish the year ten pounds heavier, and while I quit smoking (about a dozen times) it remains a monkey on my back.

I will learn to braid my daughter's hair. Nope.

I will figure out how to transfer my home videos to DVD's using my computer Nope. Sensing a trend here?

I will attend church more often  Yup, 'tho in fairness the bar was set pretty low in '04.

I will help my wife catch up on our children's scrapbooks. No, well, sorta . . I consider this blog a scrapbook of sorts.

I will no longer invest hope, excitement, or expectations in my Milwaukee Brewers Well, be proud, I accomplished this - and in return they posted the first non-losing season in 12 years.

I will make every effort to secure publication of my writing, and will accept rejection with renewed determination  No, and no.

I will read a hundred books. Try twenty or fewer - I was behind the pace but still a'tryin' in June, but after getting that promotion I managed only one the rest of the year.

I will take the extra time to relearn my parenting skills to benefit my son. I don't know - ask my wife.

 I will not lose any more teeth in the coming year What a depressing list of failures. I lost an abcessed tooth on the 5th of July.

I will attend an out-of-state baseball game with my Dad  Sigh.

I will make some effort at mental improvement Well, I did watch a lot of the National Geographic Channel.

I will successfully find a better paying, safer, more challenging day job. Done. Good thing it was probably the most important thing on the list, or this whole thing would be a wash.

Ok, enough of the past. May I  present  Slapinions Rambling List of Likely Unattainable but certainly Doable New Years Resolutions (Had I Only a Smidgen of Ambition And Personal Will Power) 2006 Edition.

Except for the Brewers' thingy, ditto 2005's resolutions. Yay for me. In additon

Repair the videocamera/christmas tree stand

Finish my dang book

Boost revenue at my business 10% (minimum), with an overall goal of a 33% increase

Move into a better neighborhood, with more room for the kids.

Take my first real vacation in years; hopefully, a 10th anniversary cruise

Pick up XM radio so I can binge on MLB games this summer

Okay, that's  enough rope to hang myself. To everyone out there, a safe and happy 2006!