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Thursday, February 21, 2008

A Scrapbook Entry - Stonefire Pizza, Early Summer 2007

I am perilously close to finishing another book review to submit for publication, in addition to an article for an industry trade magazine. There's also a writing contest offered by the local newspaper I intend to give a go, and I'm going to redo my submission packet and try again to get my book published.

In other words, even if all of the above wind up in failure, it'll be the most serious effort to date in my quest to get published. There's an honest chance this next month might produce more rejection letters than in the last 5 years combined.

But all you need is one 'yes' . . .

Anyhow, I'm going to plop some of that stuff on here, and some posts about a philosophical discussion that recently took place, and possibly a piece of short fiction, and the election of course, etc. etc.

Diarrhea of the keyboard is what it is folks.

{oh, yeah, one thing: that 'blank' entry of awhile back was intentional. It's now the (very) rough draft of a new blogroll, and I'm linking to it on the sidebar}

But before all of that, I'd like to journey back to 2007 for another family pictorial, this time to a family trip to Stonefire Pizza in late summer. Why post it now? Lis plans on taking them there again tomorrow.

Correction, it had to be early summer: Lisa was obviously in her last trimester and Smiley looked awfully young.

I'm going to skip the creative retelling of exactly what/where the place is, and blatantly steal from their website. I figure since it's advertising (in a way) they shouldn't complain too much.

"The 37,000 square foot center seats 460 people in four differently themed dining rooms in its all-you-can eat buffet area:

  • Northern Woods, a quiet dining room
  • The Fan Club, sports-themed with nine television screens showing ESPN sports
  • Toon City showing children’s cartoons
  • Discovery Play, a dining room with children’s pretend play activities

Additionally, there are eight private birthday rooms.  Including the party rooms, there is total seating for over 620 people.  The family entertainment area occupies half of the center and features bumper cars, a Bouldering wall, a three-level interactive foam ball play Ballocity unit, four lanes of mini-bowling, a children’s Frog Hopper ride, 90 redemption and ride-simulator games and a redemption prize store. 

The all-you-can-eat buffet features an extensive selection of foods, including a salad bar, soups, 16 different pizza selections, Asian and Italian foods, a children’s buffet area, desserts and an extensive selection of drinks."

Cliffnotes version: It's a bigger, more upscale Chuck E Cheese.

I kind of got shafted on the fees on the way in. I paid for a lot of upgrades that turned out to be unnecessary, but live and learn. [it was also jam packed, setting off the worst of my 'get a head count of the kids!' paranoia, but I will go no further with that because I stand by my mantra: this isn't a medical blog ;)]

We ate in the Discovery Play room, where the kids donned aprons to play with water toys on a long table

Then they painted their faces

The food was OK but nothing to write home about (better than Chuck E Cheese, tho', and I dig Chuck E's pizza). For once Smiley seemed a bit annoyed, at least for the camera

But soon enough we were off to play again. We split up, with Lis taking the girls and Smiley and I taking up residence in a room devoted to a large set of play tunnels.

The girl on the left in the following pics is one of YaYa's best friends, and since the time of these pics the girls Mom and Lis have become quite close, and her Dad is the guy who helped me tear down my friends shed in the fall. I'd forgotten they were there that day, as we ran into them purely on accident.

Lu rode the merry-go-round

Smiley and his Pops hung out together, since he was too small for the rides

YaYa tried her hand at the bumper cars

and then both girls rode the Hopper, again and again.

There's a rock wall there, and I don't think YaYa quite met the height requirement, and I know her footwear was against the rules, but a few words to the kid in charge and she was off to the races

the family watched spellbound

Video of this exists too, but I'll spare you that :)

As the day ended and closing time neared the place cleared out and Lu set up shop in the pretend pizza shop

I really like this shot:

There was a whole room devoted just to giant Lego-type blocks, and Smiley and I spent quite awhile there, right up to closing.

at close this one poor kid was put in charge of picking and stacking all the blocks -hundreds of them - and out of sympathy the family stayed and helped for a few minutes

By the time we walked out the kids were ready for bed. It turned out to be a pretty enjoyable time!

Just a Quick Photo of the Donkey Mask

On Monday YaYa came home and said she needed a Donkey mask for school, for reasons I either forget or never knew in the first place. And no, it wasn't a political project for the following days primary, since the due date was actually Wedneday.

 Lis stepped in and took over the project, which in the end ticked YaYa off, but let's be frank; the mask ROCKED :)


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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Because if it was easy it'd be someone else's life - The Lion King Feb 17th '08 Pt 2

For the record, yes, 'only' between .5 and 1.9 inches of rain fell on parts of Milwaukee on Sunday, but again - the ground was both saturated and frozen, and the storm sewers were in many cases  covered by snow. Water piled up, and it piled up in depth. Here's a pic from the next day's Journal-Sentinel.

So I got home, changed my clothes, tried in vain to dry my boots, and headed out the door. Our plan was to take the van, but just in case things prove too rough, I had cash on me for the bus.

Eureka! As I crossed the threshold I remembered hand warmers I had left over from my trip to see the '05 Inauguration. I'd seen them only the day before, in the basement bathroom. I went downstairs to grab them . . and naturally, there was water in my basement.

My freshly rebuilt for $15,000 in 2007 basement.

There wasn't a lot of water, to be honest, certainly nothing 'measurable'. It looked like someone had taken a bucket of water and spilled it across the room. Most had apparently come up through the storm sewer, while in the northwest corner water had either risen through a crack in the floor or come in from the where the new walls met the original 1891 brick foundation. It was certainly an atypical situation.

Still, not good.

But I didn't have time to deal with it, not if I wanted to make the show. And what could I have done at that moment anyhow? 

I went out and joined the family in the van and, while the water had receded, the roads were still bad enough that we abandoned it at a local McDonalds and crossed the street to the bus stop.

The bus came within minutes, and it was only $5 for all of us to head downtown. (LuLu rode free).

Lu sat with me (quite the Daddy's girl lately) while Lis sat with her young protege. It was a one shot, easy-peezy ride on a clean and friendly bus, a rarity, but a pleasant one. Only one cukoo drunk, and he was on and off the bus within a minute!

Once we got downtown it was a mere one block walk to the theater (albeit across an ice sheet) and we hunkered down and had our lunch in one of the doorways before venturing inside.

A quick pickup of some booster seats, a snack of some roasted cashews, the obligatory purchase of a magnet with the show's logo (to join Annie and A Chorus Line - no idea what happened to 42nd Street's) and it was on to a rough 20 minute wait to be allowed in the theater proper.

The kids did alright for themselves, but it got rough when we faced an additional 30 minute wait in our seats. Crying, whining, YaYa cracking her head on the back of her seat, a tall woman sitting smack dab in front of LuLu . . wow.

[pointless aside: We had four of 5 seats in a balcony row on the right side of the theater (as you faced the stage - is that Stage Left or Stage right?) and we were happy to have the 5th seat as a catch-all for our belongings.

Then right before the musical began the usher brings a woman over to claim the 5th seat, the farthest from the aisle.

"Hmmm.. . Why don't you just take the aisle seat and these folks will move down a bit," the usher VOLUNTEERED to the woman.

"Howabout you don't give away the seat I PAID for?" I roared.

If the woman - who was nice, as it turns out - was cursed enough to be stuck in the corner beside four Slapinions, OFW.]

Back to the kids. They were awful in the moments leading up to the show and Lisa was already saying that she regretted taking them. I would normally have completely agreed, but I had a gut feeling things would turn out OK once the lights went down.

And they were.

Once the show started there was not another peep from YaYa, the theater vet, and while LuLu kept up a steady stream of whispered questions to me (is dat Scar? What kind of animal is dat? Is Musafa dead?) she stayed interested and calm.

Frankly, the biggest disruption came from yours truly. With five minutes before intermission my bladder had all it could take and I had to have the family get up and move into the aisle to let me pass.

The ride home was quick and smooth, with Lu again sitting beside me and getting the chance to pull the 'stop cord' (YaYa having done so on the way out) and soon enough we were home.

I mopped the basement, Lisa baked cookies for the kids, and we all had a peaceful night.

Not a bad way to spend a Sunday, all things considered.

[So how was the musical?

The show was strong and the costuming and scenery absolutely masterful. Do I think it's the greatest show ever? No. It was a bit too reliant on visuals, the additional songs were no vast improvement on the movie, and (in the touring production at least) some of the vocals were weaker than I expected.

I also think it suffers from the typical Disney plot development issues - lots of conflict build-up and characterization followed by an abrupt and simplistic resolution to the problem.

But I will say this: when Simba began to ascend the mountain to assume his reign as king I had literal shivers of pride down my back.

Overall, a heck of a show and something I'm glad Lis paid for the family to see. ]

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

On Castro, Blu-Ray, and my choice in the WI Primary

Truly a day that will long be remembered by history.

First, time manages to do what the generations of Americans could not: after nearly 50 years in power, Fidel Castro has resigned as President of Cuba. In the long run, with a little luck, it'll shift Cuba back into the brotherhood of democratic nations. (I wouldn't mind seeing Havana myself).

Short term, with Fidel still alive and his brother Raul due to take charge, I don't think it makes any difference at all.

* * *

In slightly less historic news, the VHS/Beta- like battle of this decade is over. Blu-Ray has taken the gold as Toshiba conceded the contest by abandoning their HD DVD technology.

I don't have either, so it matters little to me at the moment, but I do take issue with any technology called 'Blu-Ray'. It sounds like a marketing slogan, not the legitimate name of what will become mainstream technology.

* * *  Political Commentary - Enter at your Own Risk * * *

And then of course, the Presidential Primary is taking place today here in Wisconsin. In just a few hours Lis and I will take the kids along and vote. Here's the historic part: for the first time EVER, I'll cast a vote for a Democratic Presidential candidate.

[Please, no tears - I still intend to vote for McCain in the fall. All misgivings aside, I'm not willing to disregard the - and forgive me for being hokey- the will of the people and vote against the GOP's nominee just out of spite. If kosher reasons emerge - and they may well do so - he'll lose my vote. But again, not out of spite.]

With the Republican nomination sewn up I'm free to vote for whoever I like. A wise strategy would be to carefully consider who would be the biggest threat to a GOP victory and cast a vote to try and block that threat.

I'm not going to do that. For reasons I may go over in detail later, I think the GOP (surprisingly) has a decent chance against either Democratic candidate.

No, I'm going to vote for (gasp!) Hilary Clinton because in the event of a GOP loss, I think she would far and away be the most responsible, less dangerous option to govern the country.

To me, it'd be the difference between a President I disagreed with politically but who acted in the best interests of the nation (Clinton), and a President that I disagreed with politically but acted, despite his own good intentions, in a manner that would place this nation in jeopardy domestically and abroad (Obama).

Sure, write it off as B.S. Say that I really am voting to protect the GOP candidate, or that I'm a white guy voting against Obama's color. I counter by saying a categorical 'no' to both. For the record, while race plays a part in a good many things in this world, the only time race has played a role in this election is when Barrack Hussein Obama earns empty votes solely because of his heritage.

I have seen and heard nothing to disuade me from the belief that  Obama is anything more than a pretty face with an excellent ability to personalize the great words of his speech writers. He promises a lot, but I don't see any evidence that the can meet even a quarter of those empty words, nor any evidence he honestly expects to be held to that standard

I think, as I said before, that while he may or may not possess Jimmy Carter's sincere desire to do 'good', Obama is nothing more than Carter redux, packaged with all the flair of a modern JFK.

There are a good many more words to say on the subject, and I'm sure I'll get around to them in time.

Hilary Clinton earns my vote, and I hope yours too.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Because if it was easy it'd be someone else's life - The Lion King Feb 17th '08 Pt 1

At the start of the year Lisa took her paycheck and bought the family (well, the two of us and the oldest two kids) tickets to see The Lion King musical as it toured Milwaukee.
 
 
 
She examined seating charts, choreographed the available dates with our calendars, thought of the kids sleep/nap/activity cycles, and had it nailed down to the perfect Sunday matinee performance.
 
Naturally, that perfect day's forecast, as of the day before the show, called for 13 inches of snow.
 
And that only got the ball rolling.
 
([My father, who works at my company, called in sick for the morning of the show leaving me short staffed and in dire straits; the possiblity existed I'd have to spend at least part of the morning at work. [didn't happen - a big thank you! to the 1st shift!)
 
Late on Saturday the forecast happily changed to heavy rain, followed by freezing temperatures and snow. [If that doesn't sound like an improvement, than let me hazard a guess and say you've never had to drive through 13 inches of fresh snow.] Still, we dumped the two youngin's off at Grandma's that night, just in case the roads were impassible by car in the morning. With the youngest gone, it looked like we could sleep in a bit.
 
But alas our internal clocks are set for 6:30 and I awoke to the sound of heavy rain and thunder. A moment later a plane flew overhead and I thought "it can't be that bad of a storm if the airport is open'.
 
Sigh.
 
By 8 in the morning our backyard had a foot of standing water. With feet of snow piled up and the ground both saturated and frozen there was no place for the rain to go. Lisa and I both went out and tried to chisel a channel for the water, but it was no use, -all we accomplished was to get soaked to the bone.
 
"We need umbrellas, there's no way I'm taking the girls out in this without them," Lisa said.
 
"So go grab 'em. We should have a bunch of them inthe entryway," I said.
 
"No, I looked, they're not there. The kids must have left them at your Mom's. You have to go buy some."
 
"I'm not driving in this **** just to buy an umbrella. Make a garbage bag poncho for them. I'm not going to go buy something we already own."
 
Steely eyes now. "I am not going to take my daughters to see a Broadway musical dressed in nice new dresses and covered in a garbage bag. Go to the Dollar Store and buy some umbrellas you cheap skate."
 
Only she didn't say 'skate'.
 
So fine. I grabbed my keys, since Lisa had misplaced hers - oh, that'll become an important point soon enough - and took her van to the store.
 
Only it turns out the street in front of our house was flooded and I barely made it two blocks before the van sputtered and died.
 
No need for a professional diagnosis, I just needed to let the van sit and dry out. But time was ticking away, and I made a valiant effort to walk home and retrieve my own car. I made it halfway before turning back - the water was up to my calves on some stretches of the sidewalk and I was chilled to the core.
 
Finally, the van starts. Seven blocks down the road floods again, the van dies. Repeat process. Five blocks down again an intersection is submerged and the van dies, this time in the middle of the road. And what's even better, this time the battery died too. I called Lisa.
 
"It's a van, you know, not a boat. You should try avoiding water at some point" she said.
 
"I'm going to die," I said.. "I'm going to die here because of an umbrella that you made me buy"
 
"You are not going to die," she said patiently. "People will go around the van. Dan would you please calm down? Where are you?"
 
"What does it matter!!??? You can't find your keys so it's not like you could come get me anyways, could you? Could you?!" I said. That'll teach her.
 
She sighed a 'it's like dealing with a child' sigh. "Even if I had my keys, how could I come get you? The van couldn't make it through so how is your Escort going to?"
 
She had a point.
 
I called The Socialist for help but he was on ajob in Cudahy. My mechanic buddy was homebound with car trouble of his own. So I called another guy I know who owed me a favor and he packed up and headed over.
 
He arrived soon enough - at the very moment Socialist came roaring in, job or no job. When in doubt, count on a Commie to have your back.
 
"Do you have jumper cables?" they both asked.
 
"I do," I said. "But I'm not sure Lisa has any. Let me check"
 
I opened up her trunk and found the cables - right beneath three umbrellas.
 
We jumped the car and I asked Socialist to follow me home, but first diverted to a grocery store to pull some money from an ATM and grab a can of chaw as a thank you to him.
 
"Remember, leave your car running to charge the battery," the first guy said. Duh, I thought.
 
Of course when I went in the store I shut the van off by habit and it was dead when I came out.
 
"You are the dumbest-ass genius I'll ever meet," Socialist said. We jumped the car again and, taking more care and cognizant of the fact that the water level had gone down, made it home.
 
 
End of Part One

Of Baby Food, Concerns with Smiley, accidents, and Mango Baby

I love baby food.

It's not just a cute opening line, it happens to be the truth. Mix up some rice cereal with a touch of soy formula and maybe the odd hint of mango juice and booya!. I wind up eating more of it than the kid - and in fact, I'm often asked to finish off the bowl.

It's better than Mickey D's baby!

I mention this because we are finally begining to get Baby into the swing of eating solids. For awhile she was good with experimenting with it, then went through this long period where she turned up her nose at cereal.

Now, it's chomp chomp. Oh, her first tooth cracked the surface too - yesterday the bottom middle tooth, sorta/kinda on the right side, broke through. About time I say.

Meanwhile Smiley is down with a double ear infection. I thought the ear tubes were going to prevent this sort of thing but here we go again. It tears me up thinking about all the days that boy has lived in a world of hushed and muted sounds. His speech still isn't up to par and while we have that big panel evaluation scheduled for March 5th we've yet to hear back on when his first psych examinations will take place.

And I'm worried.

Today I put on a DVD for him and left the room to go change the wash, then do this or that. I could see him sitting quietly on the chair, staring at the TV. No big deal, not in America at least. But when I finally went back in the living room I noticed the DVD had never advanced past the 'menu' screen.

He'd been staring intently at the same static picture for ten minutes.

That frightens me.

So does his seemingly random mental departure for parts unknown. He can understand complex directions and sometimes even anticipate your request. . .and then there are times when you hand him some pajama's and say 'put them in your dresser'', even point to reinforce the idea, and he goes and puts them in the corner of the room or in the linen cupboard, sincere as all can be that he did what you asked.

He is my only son, the last of my name, and in my heart of hearts I think something is wrong, and the knowledge is tearing me up.

Oh, and get this - the doc also says he has ringworm on his hip!?? Despite what I thought it isn't an actual worm/animal/insect, but a bacterial growth. In fact, his prescribed medicine, which we dilegently picked up from the pharmacist, turned out to be nothing more than a package of athelete's foot cream with a prescription label slapped on for twice the cost of the same thing two aisles down.

For an ox that boy sure can ring up the doctor bills.

* * *

On the way to the doc Lisa lost control of the van for a second and slammed into a snowbank. Luckily no one was hurt and there was no mechanical/structural damage to the van, but the bumper is cracked and the grill knocked in. It could've been a lot worse.

It got me thinking about YaYa's time in K5. She went on a field trip to the museum with her class and when she came home I asked her how the trip went.

"Fine," she said, " 'cept for hitting that car on the freeway"

Yup - her school bus had hit another car on the freeway, tossing several kids around and leaving the class marooned on the bus for two hours while the police and emergency services sized up the scene.

Again, no one hurt beyond the odd and random bruise, at least on the bus (I think the same for the car, as I have the impression it was a glorified, if significant, fender bender). Still, we were we furious! My kindergartner gets into an accident on the freeway and she's the one who breaks the news to us?

Can you believe that??

In closing I want to point out how proud I am that we have yet another baby that's a fan of mango juice (mixed in with cereal at this point - the older kids drink it straight).

When YaYa was an infant our Pakistian neighbors (the same ones who once shared a dish of goat with me) were insistent that she be exposed to mango, which at the time seemed very exotic and foreign to me. She loved it so much she eventually came to be known as 'Mango Baby'  (or more phonetically 'maaango babee!')

It's nice to have that quirky preference hold out through all four of my kids.

 

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Friday, February 15, 2008

Well whadaya know!

I was very happy to see the following letter in my email box this afternoon:

Dan,

You won an award in my journal today... CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Come pick it up!  Good job!!  Hugs, Val xox

Whatdaya know? I won the Weekly Sentence with Val! (one of two winning entries)! Hot dog!

Update: with her permission, here's an email exchange with Val:

You really deserved it, Dan.  For some reason your sentence made us laugh more than any other.  LOL  I noticed you have kids, too, so that is probably why you thought of the crayons.  I just thought of kids sitting in a circle chomping away.  LOL  Your children are beautiful.  I was looking at them in your journal this morning.  Take care and have a good weekend, Dan!  And congrats again!  Hugs, Val xox
 
Comment from: slapinions
"Thank you very much! I'm genuinely honored to have been chosen, esp. since this week brought in so many good entries!

Dan

 

                                                    

Thursday, February 14, 2008

YaYa's 1st Ever Pair of Glasses

What a Valentine's Day present. Today, a week after ordering them, YaYa picked up her ever first pair of glasses.

Honestly I like them a lot more than when we picked them out. It turned out that Lisa did veto the pair YaYa and I had picked out, correctly saying they were too wide for her face.

I didn't like this pair but wisely shut my mouth, and as usual, I was right :) They look great.

Having had glasses myself in 1st grade I figure she'll break this pair soon enough, but with luck it'll be just an arm and quickly repairable.

Here's a short video of YaYa discussing the glasses (admittedly taken in part because she was still harping about Lu's video the other day.) Enjoy! 

Note: I haven't a clue how to rotate the film, and I'm not sure why it came out like that in the first place. Any ideas?


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Lost: The Economist Season 4, episode 3

LOST SPOILER ALERT . . . . . . . .

I enjoyed tonight's episode but it didn't grab me by the throat like 'Confirmed Dead'. Still, a lot of questions answered, and naturally, a lot more questions created.

We now know Sayid is one of the Oceanic Six, joining Jack, Hurley, and Kate (whose status seems to have been confirmed in the previews for episode 4; there had been some question about how she could be part of the official 6 [and free] since she was a fugitive).

Of course, unlike the rest Sayid is now a hitman ('headhunter' indeed) and I have to say the opening scene where he kills Mr. Avellino on the golf course was a genuine shock to me.

For a man whose life seems to be one long attempt to reconcile his violent lifestyle with his loving nature he's sure doing a shit job of it, even after being rescued from the island.

He soon sets up house in Berlin  with Elsa, a hot young woman who's employed by a mysterious 'Economist'.

 

At random but infrequent times she will be paged by her boss and go to meet him. Sayid attaches himself to her romantically in anticipation of finding this Economist and (presumably) killing him.  

In the end it turns out Elsa was herself a mole, assigned to draw out Sayid's employer. Despite wounding him Sayid manages to kill her, then sheds genuine tears for her death. Memories of Shannon's death? Perhaps.

Again, if the contradictions in his heart are so great, do something about it man.

Let me choose this time to throw out a prediction: the mysterious 'economist', this character worthy of the episode title and enemy of Sayid, is Locke. Go wikipedia the historical John Locke and note his work in the field of economics. In my mind, it's a disappointingly shallow nome de plume.

Back on the island we have limited action overall (the focus of the episode is clearly off-island) but a whole lot is revealed in small doses.

Dan, the physicist who commented on the odd way the light scattered on the island, runs an experiment that smacks of Einstein the dog's trip in Back to the Future. Like that trip, this one is meant soley to introduce an important concept to the viewer: the time difference between the arrival of the 'package' and the movement of time on the island is 31 minutes.

   

I'm thinking light-movement-time distortion equals something related to the time travel created by traveling near the speed of light. Time moves normally for folks on the ground, but for you in the craft only a moment flies by. Tie that in with Dan's insistence that the pilot stick to the EXACT bearing, and that bearing only . . How this all fits into the island . . ya got me sister.

Re: Locke's little group.

Jacob seems to have abandoned Locke, leaving him to his own quarrelsome devices. Hurley sure played his role as Judas to a T, and as a result we did learn a few things:

* Sawyer doesn't want to leave the island, and he is serious about making a life with Kate. I don't think Jack is consciously pushing her to Sawyer, but his pragmatic observations (i.e. Locke won't kill her because Sawyer won't let him) are helping thejobalong.

* Ben has routinely left the island, as evidenced by his many passports. Hence, the photo in the last episode is explained.

Confession: I really wasn't too surprised that Ben was Sayid's mysterious employer. All that talk about 'lists' gave it away. But who are the folks on the hit list? They are aware of their guilt/presumed guilt, if the look of fear on Mr. Avellino's face is any indication.

Who's the mysterious RG on Naomi's bracelet? And why is Elsa wearing a similar band? Did Sayid take it from the corpse and give it to Elsa?

Why do the boat people have Penny's photo?

And I'm sure it's just slipped my mind, but what happened to all the other 'Others'?

Ok, 5 more episodes left in the pre-writer's strike queue, and I've heard 5 more if they can get the cast and crew together in time to salvage some more of this season.

What's your take on the episode?

 

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Hey, Pictures are working again!

 

Ok, after a quick request to the journals editor, my pictures can now be uploaded. They said there was no problem to begin with, but maybe they just released some of that 'magic smoke' without realizing it.

Not the Valentines graphic I had planned btw, but I'm nowhere near that file.

Here's the pics of the girls from this morning. A little darker than I hoped, but beggars can't be choosers given the difficulty loading them today.

Hey - in that top pic, the one with the straight arms - is YaYa flipping the camera the bird? Naw, but it sure looks like it doesn't it?

The kids got small bathsets and a dress up animal face as gifts  (Smiley got a Spiderman set with a bath toy that looks just like an electric razor). Lu made Lisa a card at the library yesterday, making a really articulated flower out of glitter glue (and mushing it to nothingness on the way home) while YaYa made her one at  her Brownie meeting.

Meanwhile the Mrs. and I aren't doing anything for Valentines this year, not even exchanging cards. The anniversary of our first date is Feb 22nd and we usually make a big deal out of that, so Valentines plays second fiddle even in the best of years. This year, with full schedules, no money, and the pair of us exhausted, we'll save our energy for that day.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday!

* * *

One bit of crud news today. AT&T, who I haven't had as a phone provider in a year or more, called me AT WORK to ask for a past due $103 amount. I've never even seen a bill as it's probably still going to my old address; really, at first I thought we were discussing a balance for the business. I never imagined I still owed those bums anything.

I said to fax me a copy of the bill and that I'd pay it out of my tax return. She abruptly upped the ante and said that her 'next option' was garnishment. This is a blow by blow accurate transcription of what came next.

"Ooo, well I'm sure that ONE CHECK garnishment period will really hurt," I said, annoyed at how quickly she'd resorted to threats. What the heck? Am I 18 years old and unaware of how ridiculous and non-cost effective the  pursuit of a lousy $100 would be? C'mon!

"Well, it will affect your credit rating. You'll never qualify for a car, or a house. .. " she said.

I cut her off. "I already own a home," I said.

"Hmm. Well, I guess that's all people like you ever aspire to," she said. WTF?

At this point, at work but dangerously close to exploding, I called her [redacted] and hung up on her.

She was way out of line, but I think my ending salvo would fail to sway many sympathies with the powers that be. I'll pay the dang bill (provided I ever SEE one) but man . . I'm glad I'm no longer with those buggers.

UPDATE: The pics are WAY darker than they should appear. I'll try to find time to tweak them later. ..Done!

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Morecambe and Wise

Back in the day good ol' Joe at Magic Smoke would hear your cry for help in J-Land - such as the one that accompanied my tears as AOL still refuses to upload pics, despite trying three different computers and three different files - and come to the rescue.

Alas, no more.

So instead we will temporarily forget about the cool Valentines graphics and the neat shot of my girls all dolled up this morning, put aside the few serious text-heavy posts I have in the wings, and break character a bit.

 I present to you a Morecambe and Wise skit called 'The Breakfast Skit' that Jeannette over at Make 'em Laugh put on her blog the other day.

 

I'd never heard of the duo, and the fact that they're British is no excuse, as the local public television stations are in love with the BBC to an embarrassing degree and inundate us with all kinds of Brit programming, good, bad, and average.

 Jeannette, at my request, filled me in on some details. As the email contains nothing personal I'm going to reprint it here:

Morecambe and Wise were legendary over here. They had a weekly t.v. show where they did all sorts of sketches and skits.  They pulled in audiences of over twenty million a week which for a small place like the U.K. was phenomenal.

 

Their yearly Christmas special was a must see for everyone and pulled in around 40 million viewers.  Some of the biggest of our stars guested one their shows, they did a classic sketch with Andre Previn and send up of Singing in the Rain, Nothing like a dame all sorts.  Each week there was a small play what Ernie wrote.  That is what he used to say, we would like you to appear in a play that I wrote.  The play was always silly and was written to show of Eric’s comedy.

 

Eric was the tall one and he was the comic.  Ernie was the little one- as Eric used to say the “one with the short fat hairy legs” although Ernie could be a comic in his own right.  They also had a standing joke about Ernie wearing a toupee although he had his own hair. You would have to see a few of their shows to really appreciate them.

 

The stripper that you saw was one of their classics.  They rehearsed it for several hours but then did it in one take, some doing.

 

Eric had a coupe of heart attacks but could not give up the business.  Another heart attack killed him at the age of 58.  Ernie was heartbroken.  They had started their double act as teenagers.  Naturally he could not go on alone so he spent his remaining years appearing on talk shows and on panel games etc.

 

They are very much missed over here.

 

I am so glad that you enjoyed that sketch.  I think some types of humor appeal all over the world and you do not have to be British to enjoy it.

 

Thank you for asking about them.

 

Jeannette

Naw, thanks for introducing us to them. If this skit is any  indication, they're well worth a further look.


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How I spent my day - exciting aint it?

A very odd day off Wednesday as I spent a good chunk of the morning in court, where my Mom and her brother are opposing each other over my Grandmother's estate and possession of my childhood home.

It's a pretty simple yet complicated situation, and for obvious reasons I'll skip the details here. One statement in particular stuck with me though.

The judge admonished them both saying he was reluctant to bring the weight of the law into what was start to finish a family matter.

"If and when I render a judgement I guarantee I'll go home that night, sleep peacefully, and forget about it. I'll never think of it again. The two of you, on the other hand, will have to think about that judgement for the rest of your lives. You'll be brother and sister long after this court proceeding is over." He then went on to urge a private resolution to the issue, although he put plans in place to hedge his bets.

Anyhow, just one additional piece of advice, this time direct from me: if you enter a federal courthouse, do not pass through a metal detector with 3 inch nails casually stuffed in your pocket from a leftover home fix-it.

The guards tend to frown on that.

* * * *

Later this evening, on the phone with my Mom:

Me: I don't care what you do, but just make sure if you wind up with the house you take steps to get everything straight before I have to go through this with [my sisters]

Mom: Oh, I know!. The girls keep saying the same thing to me all the time.  

Me: [amused]Yeah, I can hear them now: 'Get Danny out of the will now, we're the ones that love you! Get him out!' Am I right?

Mom: [amused silence, then an awkward intake of breath through her teeth, followed by her standard send-off] . . well, I'm gonna let you go . .

Me: [laughing] well, allrighty then.. ..

* * *

After court I stopped at a thrift store and got the Baby a great pair of Barbie Island Princess sneakers, in a suitable size for summer, for only 75 CENTS!

I also found a MatchBox Fire Engine backpack for Smiley for $1.50, but I didn't have enough cash, so I had to run to an ATM and double back for it.

** I have pics of the items, but right now AOL is saying it can't upload. Whatever. Fear not, gentle reader, I shall post them later! *

** 9:15 a.m - still not working, and on a different comp, different file. Thanks AOL!* * *

* * * *

Another Obama ad just ran across the TV in the living room. The guy makes so many guarantees I wouldn't be surprised if he ran a spot promising to help me lose weight and tone my quads while virtually eliminating freezer burn.

Honest and true: even if we were the same party, I'd laugh him off as a shyster. How did this guy back Hilary into a corner?

My Lord, the things these eyes have seen in only a third of a century.

But the good news/bad news (you choose) is that his recent dominance has culled from my subconsious a long recognized/never articulated reasoning behind my abandonment of the Democratic Party 16 years ago.

I reckon it's worth a post, but that'll be another day.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Just for the folks who know me offline - My Birthday List

I've always been a big proponent of making Christmas/Birthday wish lists - I once joked I wished they'd let me have a birthday registry at the bookstore - but in recent years I must admit I'm starting to find it obnoxious.

Not that that'll stop me from doing it ;)

At any rate, more as a personal 'wish list' to myself than any actual Birthday list:

DVD's -

Family Guy's Blue Harvest (just the single disc edition. I've never watched a director's commentary and I'm not about to start with a cartoon's)

Nirvana Unplugged - kinda po'd about this one. I turned down a chance to watch it because I was sure it was under the Christmas tree - nope. Worse yet, I'm told that someone 'guaranteed' they'd 'already' bought it for me back then, stopping other would be buyers in their tracks.

CD's

Into the Wild Soundtrack - Eddie Vedder

Rear View Mirror - Pearl Jam

there's more CD's I want to own, just to basically recreate a portion of my once impressive college-era collection, but I'll do that at thrift shops.

Books:

None really. 501 Must Read Books, in the bargain bin at Walden's, strikes my fancy.

Clothes

A new belt and another pair of slippers would rock

Never Gonna Happen

 Zune MP3 player

Electric guitar with amp

Betcha never thought of this

I could use a carrying case in my car for all my cassettes