Quote of the Day

Overheard at a video store:

Clerk, on phone:

"Yes ma'am, I understand. And once again, I'd be happy to look up the 1939 version [of the film] for you. But like I said, Leonardo DiCaprio isn't in the cast . . . no, I'm sure. . .Yes, I've checked. . . ma'am . . . [exasperated] No, I won't check again, I'm sure. He's not in that version."

Bristol Palin, Ford Escort's and coming out of the political closet

I read a headline a moment ago that said Bristol Palin, Sarah's daughter, has broken up with her fiance.

In the end it's a good thing she didn't commit ten years of her life to what would have been a failed marriage, but good for her for making the effort. I'd hope for a moratorium on 'ha ha' articles and posts on the web, since I don't see much humor in the situation, but I'm not holding my breath.

* * * * *

So after weeks of tinkering I gave up and had my Escort towed to a shop. A day later it was back. It ran fine - for another day - and then failed to start. This SUCKS.

This next part will sound like sour grapes, but it's not. When Lisa's step-mom moved in here she generously offered us use of their car for the duration, seeing as Lisa's father was in the hospital anyway. I didn't want to borrow the car, largely because I don't need the inevitable hassles that would come with the 'favor.'

That's good, because it never materialized. To this day, nine days into her stay, I'm told their car is in for repairs. Hmm. Odd co-incidence that. Want to bet it magically/deliciously reappears the day her Dad gets out of the hospital? :)

Ah, no biggie. All in all, to this point she's been no problem at all. The kids love that dog and take turns sleeping with her. As I've told them all: enjoy it while it lasts, because this is the last time you'll have a dog before you turn eighteen.

* * * * * *


I've been outed as a Republican at work.

Now I enjoy working with this group a lot, and find the people interesting and the conversation first rate. But as you've guessed there is a left-wing edge to them all, as evidenced not only by one person's self-proclaimed 'Obama Shrine' at home, but such predictable comments as: 'I'd never watch American Idol. That's everything that's wrong with the music business. It should be about soul man, soul and tears, not about selling records.' :)

I'm proud that I have a long standing ability to get along with people of different political views, so this isn't a problem for me. I kind of enjoy it actually.

However, I've always felt a weakness of the left was their mistaken notion that if they played by rules X and Y that the other guy would return the favor. I know this isn't true, and so I shut my mouth on politics just in case.

But yesterday a guy who's turning into a good friend started going off about how Republicans burn barns, rob nursing homes and kick dogs. He finished by saying "Ya know?"

Sigh. "I'm a Republican."

He laughs. "No you're not."

Wistful smile. Head nod. "Yup. 'Fraid so."

"Naw"

"Dude, I went to DC to see Bush inaugurated. I had an autographed picture of him on my nightstand. I'm a Republican."

A moment of stunned silence, I imagine akin to the reaction of Bristol's boyfriend when he heard of the pregnancy.

"Oh, uh. Well, uh, maybe not every Republican, but uh, most of them, ya know?"

Damn. There goes my prefered seating in the employee lounge.

The Descent

Last year I began reading Jeff Long's The Descent and was immediately enthralled. Just as quickly I lost the book underneath one of the kids' bed, and didn't resume the book for months. From the point that book made its way back into my hands I couldn't put it down.

The Descent is the story of mankind's exposure to the Hadal, a race of half human, half demon beings that inhabit the inner reaches of the earth and are the source for many of our myths. For whatever reason mankind has now been forced to accept their existence, a 'first contact' established by a series of chilling opening chapters.

Soon enough the armies of the world venture into a cave system that spans the entirety of the globe, travelling miles beneath ocean and land. These soldiers meets a terrifying end, drawn into a trap and then extinguished by the thousands.

Mankind regroups and appears to win, due in large part to survivors of Hadal captivity who now act as scouts. One of these, Ike, leads an expedition deep into the earth's depths. The hidden agenda of Ali, a nun assigned to the group: identify the leader of the Hadals, a man who history knows by many names. Chief among these titles: Satan.

I will admit that there is a dramatic and abrupt change in gears once mankind chooses to recognize the Hadals existence. One minute they are mythical creatures and those who see them are crazy; the next we are on a Jules Verne trip through their homeland. It's not the best transition.

Yet the book grabs you and doesn't let go, and I whole-heatedly recommend it. A word of warning - the Hadals are not kind to their captives, and the violence they exhibit is intense and horrific - far beyond any of the stuff I've ever read. I believe it is essential to the plot because it establishes their terrifying religious and sexual worship of pain and elevates them to something far worse than your standard fictional monster.

They are the source and stuff of nightmares.

If you can stomach some violence, then by all means, pick up a copy.

American Idol

I'm afraid I'll have to skip the photos this week. I didn't finish watching it until 12:30 am and I work all day tomorrow, so this is my only chance to beat the results show to the punch.

Oh, and before anyone complains that it's shallow: yes, appearances do count in the music business. You don't have to be pretty, but you at least better dress and carry yourself well. Therefore it is a legitimate critique of the artists.

* * * *

1. Lil' - Simon has a knack for saying exactly what Lisa and I think 98% of the time. Lil's version was uninspired but pleasant, but the white pants were a big mistake: she had a man bulge in front and a trailer in her behind. Not flattering.

2. Scott - everything this guy sings turns into a Bruce Hornsby song. I still liked it, but I think his limitations are becoming apparent.

3. Danny - Milwaukee's own rocked it. I greatly enjoyed his song.

4. Michael - he has no business in the top 13. A fine performance and pleasant to hear, but little to recommend him for success.

5. Jasmine - She sounded fine during much of the song, but was way off whenever her volume increased. The judges erred on choosing her.

6. Kris - it wasn't a guitar song and I wish the instrument hadn't been miked, but the vocals were good. What I like best about this guy is he always, always seems joyous on the stage. Boo to Simon for the wife comment. With only 5 months of marriage under their belt and a thousand woman screaming for her husband she didn't need to hear that.

7. Allison - 16??? The girl ROCKS. She should be fronting a band on the radio right now.

8. Anoop - the song is iconic and should be verbotten. Morevover it cannot reasonably be slowed down and work, so by default any remake sounds karaoke. Yuck.

9. Jorge - bad arrangement and the chorus blended right into the verse. Good vocals tho'.

10. Megan - what a piece of poop. If she wasn't hot she would never have made it past Hollywood. To quote what half the male viewers are thinking: I'd take her to bed, but I wouldn't buy her album.

11. Adam - I've been wrong about AI before, once famously calling Carrie Underwood a no-talent hack on this blog. Oopsie. But I still say this guy is overrated. His spasms onstage irk me, his look is bothersome, and while it honestly matters not to me, I *think* he's masking his sexuality to keep the female fans in his corner. That last bit makes him seem like the ultimate poser to me. Still, he'll stick for awhile if not make the finals outright.

12. Matt - damn good. I liked it a lot.

13. Alexis - Anyone who knows me knows I don't like short women, and I don't like skinny ones either; I'm pretty sure they're not into 300# men so we'll call it even. But Alexis looked scrumptious out there. Even so, I think her vocals were all over the place. She'll stay, but she better improve.

* * * *

Kudos for Paula for being sober, and for dishing out some accurate and at times negative critiques of the artists.

And Kara? Now they're not just 'girls' and 'boys' but 'the kids'? Again they are adults and many of them have children and spouses. Is it so wrong to call them 'men and women'?
* * * *

Who goes home? If I had the only vote in America: Anoop and Megan.

Seeing as America favors beauty and/or sympathy over talent in these early rounds, I say Anoop and Jasmine. I wouldn't cry over that result.

My bottom four - on the assumption that it's the magic number of contestants they'll torture together in the spotlight before revealing who stays and who goes (after this break, of course): Anoop, Jasmine, Megan, and Michael.

But you know what? Something warns me that you can sub out Matt for Michael in that bottom four. I don't think he'll get cut, but I think he might be (wrongly) dumped in that mess.

Lost Season 8, Ep. 8: LaFleur

It's a sign of social acceptance at work that the resident Lost expert was eager to seek me out after this weeks episode. I hadn't had a chance to view it yet, but he left me with a warning: it was one of the most confusing, theory-provoking episodes yet, one that shook his faith in the show.

After watching it I'm wondering if he was f*ing with me.

I liked the episode. Hell, I enjoyed every minute of it. What's more I found it rather straightforward.

So . . you tell me.

Sawyer's group jots around time again, if only for a second, and in a much earlier (?) time see a giant statue in the distance.



I'd assume this is the same statue the Losties later see in ruins a few season back.

Then they flash again, winding up in the year of my birth (1974) but agree that it appears to be over. They wander about the island, as the group is prone to do, and discover Amy in the midst of being kidnapped by Others.



The group intervenes and saves her, killing two Others in the process. They journey back to Otherville with Amy but are tricked by the sonic fence and are taken prisoner. When they wake up Sawyer is questioned by Horace, the local leader of the Dharma Initative. Sawyer cons his way through the interview but soon the camp is at full alert; Richard Alpert is inside the camp. Killing the two Others breaks the 'truce' and he is pissed.

Sawyer ventures out to talk to him and takes credit for the killings, using his knowledge of the past to convince Richard he is who he says he is and that, technically, the truce still stands.



Flash forward three years to 1977. Sawyer is now Jim LaFleur, the head of local Dharma security. Jin speaks perfect english and at Sawyers request continues to look for the other Losties. Juliet is 'undercover' as an auto mechanic, etc.

Horace gets drunk and is recovered outside the fence by Sawyer, just as Horace's wife (Amy) gives birth with Juliet's help. It's a boy. Later we see Juliet and Sawyer embrace and exchange declarations of love.


Obviously they are a couple, and via an anecdote he tells Horace we are led to believe he's well over Kate.

And then Jin finds Jack and the others . . .

Ok, let's discuss it.

The statue could be any ancient God or King, although it does have a semblance of Egyptian to it. Hey, it could be Richard. He never ages right? And his initials are R.A., and RA is the sun god correct?

The Dharma stuff seems pretty cut and dry. They are brought into the camp, earn the trust of Dharma, and eventually rise in the ranks. Okeedokee.

Juliet and Sawyer warrant no discussion, as a relationship seems rather inevitable given the situation they find themselves in. Is he over Kate? I guess we'll find out.

What's the nature of the truce? Maybe the Hostiles/Others want parts of the island (the wheel, the buried H-bomb, etc) left alone, and violating that geographic line in the sand is what brought on the attack/kidnapping.

Where's Rose/Bernard/the missing Oceanic Six? Who knows. We'll find out and their absence maybe nothing more than their relative lack of worth to this weeks story.

* * * * *

So aside from being a great hour of TV, am I missing something?

Aunt Mabel

The picture above is of my Aunt Mabel. She was born two years before my late Grandma, which would place her at 88 years old this year.

88 years old, living on her own near 10th and Oklahoma and fully independent.

A week ago she was in her living room when she heard a noise. When she turned around there was a man behind her, his face covered by a ski mask.

He told her he wouldn't hurt her if she gave him all her money. Considerate of him.

She told him she only had ten dollars on her, which was true. He took it and left by the back door.

A few minutes later she worked up the nerve to head in that direction towards the phone.

The man, inexplicably, was hiding in the kitchen.

He took her into her bedroom and asked where her jewelry was kept. She told him he was welcome to it, but that her best pieces were bought from Kmart.

He began throwing the contents of her dresser on the bed. She told him to take anything he'd like but please, please leave her medicare and social security cards behind.

He began stuffing her empty purse with whatever he could find, including - perhaps as an insult - the medicare card she begged to keep.

In the pile of junk he'd thrown on the bed was a bank envelope with $150 that her granddaughter had dropped off the day before. In plain sight she casually slipped the envelope out of the pile and under the afghan.

He never noticed.

He left again, this time for real, spewing out the usual threats.

Brave man.

The cops were sympathetic but told her she should have kept the lights on, she should have done this, she shouldn't have done that . .

How about he shouldn't have broken into her house and threatened an old woman? How about that officer?

Aunt Mabel spent one night at her granddaughter's house, at their request, before returning home for good.

As of yet, the man has not been found. The description is vague, beyond that he was black and average height, but he will no doubt repeat this somewhere else and be caught or killed.

Not everyone has the constitution of my Aunt. My Grandma would have died from fright; I have no doubt about that.

If you know an elderly person living alone, in that or any other neighborhood, check on them often.

You Know You are From Milwaukee When .

My buddy Dale sent me this in an email. I include it here because I wonder, in the years to come, if any of these will still ring true.

You Know You Are from Milwaukee When. . .
* * * * * *

Its always Miller Time - Amen. Bleep Budweiser.

You call Air Force Ones Dookies - no clue here. Generation gap at work.

You call Lake Michigan "the lake"

You tailgate for more than just football games

You know where the bubbler is AKA the water fountain.

The smell of yeast does not phase you - I hated it growing up but my parents, especially my Mom, loved it and mentioned how it brought back childhood memories.

You've cruised on HWY 100 Ah, the days of CB'ers versus the white hip hoppers. Memories.

You call it Mil-town - No one I've ever met calls it "Mil-Town'.

You know what and where the "village" is Village of What? The Damned? I assume they mean 'Tosa.

You understand the difference between the green and the blue street signs

You use the lake to give you a sense of direction

You have gone to Summerfest for more than just the music

You have had many meals that were just beer, brats & kraut

You know the best brats are cooked in beer before they are grilled

You know what the "beast" is It was the name of my best friends car in college, but I'm pretty sure that didn't make the list. So, no.

You measure distance in time Ha! Very true.

You can drive 65 in 3 inches of snow What? Who doesn't?

You go out to the suburbs to go trick or treating Noooo.

You go to a fish fry every Friday in the summer Summer? Every Friday in Lent, and many many Friday's throughout the year

You know how to polka

You know to get all your alcohol bought before 9 pm

You can eat a whole cream puff and probably even two

You use "up north" and "down south" to describe where you went for vacation

You drink soda, not pop

You go to Brewers games for one reason - The Sausage Races Not quite.

You pronounce it Mawaukee instead of Milwaukee

You know people with the 262 area code aren't really from Milwaukee Dead on.

You know the difference between ice cream & frozen custard

You think humidity is a typical part of summer weather around the country

Brett Favre holds a special place in your heart and always will Gag.

You keep track of the summer months by what festival is happening at the summerfest grounds

The sight of the Jesus Car fills you with enjoyment instead of anxiety

You hear tyme machine and think money instead of time travel

Your heart skips a beat everytime you watch Anchorman and hear Ron Burgundy say "Baxter is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee"

You know why every George Webb's has two clocks

You know that at one time both the Packers & the Brewers played at County Stadium

You remember the great days of "The Box" on channel 8 Oh God yes! Music videos played to order; all you had to do was dial a 900# and make your selection.

You despise the Cubs, the Bears, the Bulls, and Iliniois in general You read my mind.

Organic Farming and some dang fine Milk

Amy - good to see you online. I hope all is well.

* * * * *

My sister called and asked me for a ride home from work, saying that she had a case of milk her employer gave her and couldn't get it on the bus.

Now normally when someone calls and says they have a case of stuff 'given' to them it fell off the back of a truck. But in this case it was true, as there was a long line of women outside the shop with a case of milk at their feet.

In return for the ride my sister gave me twelve half-gallon containers of Organic Valley skim milk.

Organic Valley is a Wisconsin based cooperative of family farmers that produce organic dairy products.

And you know what? The milk was the best I've ever drank. It had none of that 'tinny' taste of most skim milk and just flowed down your throat. Yummy.

I priced it in the store and now know I'll probably never have it again. Her boss gave each of his employees the equivalent of $120 worth of milk . At ~$5 a half gallon when standard milk is $3/gallon, well, good luck sweetheart. Tell me how your sales turn out.

But for all you better-off folks (and despite your protests, you know who you are) I encourage you to pick up some of their product. Coupons are available on their website, listed above.

* * * * * * *

Jan has a link on her sidebar to Heifer International, a charitable organization that purchases livestock for farmers and educates them in modern agricultural methods- a wonderful program that promotes self-reliance over handouts. [My kids raised money for Heifer while in K3]. While While I applaud efforts to provide funding for small business overseas I think this is of more value, especially in lands were famine not only breeds suffering but increased dependence on foreign aid and all that comes with it.

If you prefer to have your donations spent here at home Heifer also offers programs in the States, some of which teach organic farming methods. I'm all for the concept but I worry that the farmers are being steered in the wrong direction. At the prices quoted above it'll be awhile before it becomes mainstream, and I think they need a quicker financial turnaround. But I could be wrong.

* * * *

I'd like to also point out that a skeptical opposition to Mr. Gore and his global warming hysteria DOES NOT translate into a desire to make a mess of the earth. I'm all for clean air and clean water, and I assure you that I take care to make less of a 'footprint' than most of the preachy lefty's I know. I was carpooling and driving high MPG cars years before it was economically necessary, and we recycle so religiously that the Alderman sent us an additional bin. And we're not talking the rinky-dink blue containers you see in some 'burbs. Here's the size of one of ours:

That's all. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

A rainy Sunday morn

I'm writing this after surrendering my reading chair to Zsa Zsa, my stepmother-in-law's assistance dog. So far, after five days of the in-law staying here, it's going alright. She's gone out a lot more than she normally would have, accompanying us here and there, and that's left her a bit exhausted. I've also seen a lot more TV than I usually would, having been exposed to Oklahoma! and Oliver in the first day alone.* I guess the biggest surprise for anyone is the shining her dog has taken to me, and the fact that I've become her de facto canine caregiver. I don't know why it's such a shock. I grew up with dogs for my first two decades and am very comfortable around them; I just don't like beasts that crap in my yard.

Rain is pelting the windows of the office, and sooner or later I'm going to have to bite the bullet and call YaYa in to Sunday school. I let her sleep over at my sister's last night, forgetting about the time change. I had some wickedly elaborate dreams last night, the kind that a better writer would turn into a classic novel. Instead, I'm left with only fragments of the whole: a bus trip across the city in which a young man began arguing with a stranger he accused of talking through a film they'd seen; the brief [platonic] appearance of Amy, an old co-worker, as she explained some detail of retail work; and a very long sequence in which I guided a very badly injured hospital patient up a long ramp. The ramp was saturated with dried blood that belonged to the patient, his friends, and their enemies. He was a 'Blood Boy', a breed of vampires or vampire-killers who made their home in the building at the top.

I'd like to add a song to the blog's background. Not everyday, because that's annoying, but once in a blue moon. Does anyone know how to accomplish that? Bridgett, your blog frequently does that, doesn't it? Can you help?

Ok, time to leave the comfort of the office and resume fatherhood. Later.


* yeah, yeah. "He sure watches a lot of TV to begin with, doesn't he?" you're saying to your significant other. Not true. Well, sorta. I watch a lot of TV, but not during the day. I'll record whatever I want to watch and then, around 11pm or so, begin sacrificing hours better spent on sleep.

Smiley's Birthday

Today is my Smiley's 4th birthday, and we celebrated with a bowling party with the kids in his speech class. I intend to blog about it soon. Man, it seems like a blink of an eye since I came home to post the news of his birth on Slapinions.

We're all a little tired here, so I think I'll sign off. But I couldn't let the day go by without wishing my little man a happy birthday. May a 100 more await you Smiley!