Chronicle

I just finished watching 'Chronicle' a found-footage film about a trio of teenage boys who discover . . . *something* . . . in the woods and emerge with super powers. Don't judge the movie by the trailer, or the poster. Very little of the movie is devoted to action/adventure (although the parts that are are spectacular). At its heart, it's a movie about the disintegration of a family and the failed attempt of a troubled kid to rise above his circumstances. I really liked this film. Grade: A

A Perfect Game!

Congrats to SF's Matt Cain for pitching the 22nd Perfect Game in MLB history tonight!

Daughters of Satan

Daughters of Satan is a 1972 horror film starring a young Tom Selleck, here proving he could rock a mustache in every era. He plays an art buyer stationed in Manilla who finds a 450 year old painting of 3 witches being burned at the stake. The one in the middle? Well, she just happens to be a dead ringer for his lovely young wife. 

Believe it or not, strange things happen once his wife is exposed to the painting, and before long a four century old plan for revenge is put into motion - complete with bare breasts, bondage, and a smidge of torture in the buff. 

What can I say? When the daughters of Satan make a plan, they make it easy to watch. 

It's a crud film, but not as bad as you think. The script makes an effort to be coherent, and Selleck does all he can to hold this one together. Unfortunately it is what it is, and his cast mates have presumably been paid *not* to act for the last 40 years. 

Grade: C/C-

A-Rod makes History - Again!

A-Rod makes history (again)! He just hit t his 23rd career grand slam, tying Lou Gehrig for the most all-time. I bow to thee!

Happy Birthday Mr. President!

Happy 88th Birthday George Herbert Walker Bush!

Joan Rivers and Shiloh

Shiloh 1862 by Winston Goom (yes, the same guy who wrote Forrest Gump) is a work of popular history about the epic Civil War battle that nearly ended the Union's thrust into the west (and with it U.S. Grant's career). Groom has become a prolific author of military history in recent years but this was the first time I've read his non-fiction. The verdict? 

Good? 

Yes.

 Shelby Foote good, as the blurb on the cover indicates?

No. 

This is a work of history meant for the masses, more of a detailed introduction to the battle than an in-depth historical work. You'll learn a lot about the battle if this is your first exposure to it, but I can't say I walked away with any more information than I knew going in, aside from some accounts taken from civilian diaries that help make the narrative more accessible.

Groom writes smoothly, and you'll find he delivers the information with ease, so no problems on that score. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I thought I detected a hint of southern bias at some points in the book, especially in the  'wrap-up' sections after the battle concludes on the field. And, as usual, too little emphasis is given to the monumental second day, when the Union not only rallied but mauled the Confederate Army to retake the field. 

Grade: B/B+

Book #42 of the year

And now for something completely different . . . 

Joan Rivers' new book, I Hate Everyone . . . Starting with Me is vulgar, occasionally repetitive, and laugh out loud funny. It's not for the faint of heart, but those with heart problems  probably won't survive the $26 price tag anyway. 

My only complaint is that it's obvious Rivers hasn't been slumming in awhile. If you're going to joke about McDonald's or other fast food places, it might be a good idea to check out a recent (post-1985 menu);. McDonald's does offer healthy options, and it doesn't serve onion rings (at least not in any of the franchises  where I've eaten. 

Anywho, damn funny. 

Grade: A 

Book #43 of the year

Lost trivia

Trivia of the day: Matthew Fox, star of "Party of Five" and "Lost" is the great-great-great grandson of General George Gordon Meade, commander of the Army of the Potomac at Gettysburg and the Overland campaign of '64-'65. Howabout that?

Happy Anniversary

Congrats to Jeanne and Jaspare on their wedding anniversary (26 by my count)! Also, a big shout out to Faith, who graduated from 8th grade today. Congrats kid!

A Ugh Day

It's been a long, sluggish, waste of a day. My sleep last night was interrupted every few hours by a nightmare, and so I've been walking around in a daze all day. Usually I like to do *something* productive on my day off, and I had thought of taking the kids to see the Cave of the Mounds today, but instead I settled for a bbq in the backyard and two naps. The most productive thing I've done was take out the trash and recycle another box worth of books from my office/"someday it'll be a" bedroom.

The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe

Just finished watching the 2011 Doctor Who Christmas special " The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe". Delightful, touching, funny and packed with memorable lines, this one is grand. Kudos again to head writer Steven Moffatt and lead Matt Smith who continues to inch his way up the list of all-time great Doctor's. The last scene, where the Doctor sheds a tear of joy? I was misting up myself. Grade: A++

Primeval

I've finally finished watching the complete (to date) BBC series Primeval.

For those unfamiliar with the show, rips in time ( an "anomaly", yet another word I can never pronounce correctly) have started popping up throughout the UK. Their existence is a state secret, which is rather difficult to accept since they routinely spit pre-historic creatures out into shopping centers and highways.

A less than crack team of experts is assembled to contain these incidents. There's the evolutionary scientist and his protege, a young female zoologist, and a nerdy computer geek. Somehow, the British government deems this group up to the task; forget the dinosaur on the motorway, that's suspension of disbelief on an epic scale.

Is it high literature of the airwaves? No of course not. It's about dinosaurs romping through your kiddie pool. But it is good fun, and over time the show evolves (no pun intended). The military is brought in to back up the group and by season 4, when the new lead assumes control of the team, it has morphed into a well-funded and professional operation.

As time goes on the characters grow and change too, and what starts out as a harmless creature feature of the week becomes a show with a moderately complex conspiracy running beneath the surface.

Connor, the before mentioned computer geek, steals the show, becoming a confident and able part of the team over the years, but I have a soft spot for James Lester (played by Ben Miller), the droll and nattily dressed bureaucrat overseeing the operation. Oh, and Lucy Brown  is hot. Majorly hot.

It's a very good show. Go stream it on Netflix.

Well well

Tsk tsk. A state worker sent me an email blasting my column 

*from her state email address *, presumably on work time. I then received two automated email notices from a state address indicating her attempts to abort the message, apparently ixnayed either by her side or by gmail. Thanks for spending tax payer $ to write a personal response to a community columnist in Milwaukee. Great way to back up your email claiming the reforms weren't needed.

Goodbye Netflix

It is with a heavy heart that I just cancelled my Netflix subscription, following a ridiculous argument on the phone with their customer service dept. The episode featured a operator who said "let me get my supe" a zillion times before I said "It's your *supervisor* not your g-damn lunch" which probably explains why said "supe" and I didn't get along either. I am now forced to cxl it because I lack the moral courage to say "I enjoy the service too much to let this ruin it." Alas, I have testicles, and so Netflix may rot in the deepest pits of hell before they get another dime of mine.

Smiley's 7th Birthday - March, 2012

In retrospect it's kind of rude I posted LuLu's birthday pics before Smiley's, given that his was in MARCH, but to be fair that was during me self-imposed exile from Slapinons. Let me make up for that wrong now.

Sometime in February I drove past what was once Allied Pools on 27th and noticed that it had been converted to a Lazer Tag/Go-Kart arena. A few days later Lisa took Smiley to check it out. The place wasn't even open for business until March 1st, but they let him tour and he loved it. Lisa booked the party on the spot.



Now Smiley was/is very into Pokemon, so Lisa went out of her way to may him cupcakes that looked just like Pokemon balls.





Since the place had just opened up they hadn't had time to finish constructing the party room, which sucked. It had a bare concrete floor and smelled mildly like the exhaust from the go-karts. We made do and in the end it was fine; besides, it was the only down point of the whole gig.





 It was a small party by design, and Smiley only invited 'close' friends - including two girls.







Soon it was off to play Lazer Tag.













The kids had a blast, and Lisa and YaYa emerged on the winning team, bragging about their prowess. Huh. Big wup. On the next round I joined in as more than a spectator. I grouped my team together before the round, doling out instructions and ending with a team cheer. As soon as the bell rang my platoon followed my orders to a T, taking the high ground (balcony), establishing sniper posts to keep the enemy away from he ramps leading up to us, and attacking en masse anyone persistent enough to make it to our lair.

It was a bloodbath. We destroyed them, leaving some of the kids in tears. I myself, serving under the nickname "Jinx" scored the highest point total, while two of my team rounded off the top three. Booyah!



Then it was time for lunch (subs) and cupcakes





Next were the presents!









We bought him a bank that counted the change as he put it in; the kid had been asking for one forever. We bought one for him for Christmas but lost it before the big day!





He got the obligatory Pokemon stuff



including a homemade beaded Pikachu keychain we bought at a Chinese take out stand :)





Even Ginger made him a present:



As party favors Lisa again looked to Pokemon, using plastic, er, globes with a red base and filling them with trinkets.



After the party ended we took Smiley over to the Go-Kart track in the building and paid for a round. I was a little worried it would all be for naught - he is, shall we say, *not* a daredevil, and cautious to a fault sometimes - but he loved it.





He turned out to be an excellent, if predictably careful, driver. 





It was a great party, and a lot of fun. :)

Yaya's 5th Grade test scores

YaYa got her standardized test scores yest on the last day of fifth grade. She placed at college level in reading and comprehension, but slightly below grade level in math. Apparently she can read and understand a college dissertation - she just can't give you an accurate page count.

Grant's Take on the Confederacy

If you're a person who still argues that the South had a legal and moral right to secede in 1861 *cough* Fred Bryan cough*you would be advised to read chapter XVI of U.S. Grant's memoirs (and the first page of the following chapter). I've rarely, if ever, read a more articulate and intelligent refutation of the CSA's legitimacy. 

 Fred Bryan 

Note that his refutation came after the illegal , unjust and immoral war. 

 Me: 

Would u have listened to him when he was just a clerk in a leather goods store? When else was he to write it but after his fame. Read it 🙂 

 Fred Bryan 

What I mean, is that it's usually pretty easy to justify what one did to an opponent that one has destroyed years afterward. Rome certainly justified the destruction of Carthage, after all. Or put another way, one can murder their dinner companion, then, before calling the police, arrange the scene to make it appear that the victim had gone berserk and that the killer had no choice. This was one of the great virtues of the Declaration of Independence, that the proposed course of action that the United Colonies wished to follow was laid out with its justifications more or less in advance. 

 Me:

again, read the chapter, esp the section where we points out that a document largely crafted by southern slave owners offered no mechanism for secession. All arguments for its 'right' came when the south could no longer dominate Washington and thus protect slavery. Or, to use your example, once they'd taken it upon themselves to try and murder their dinner guest 🙂

Reader Reaction

Surprisingly, in lieu of the expected hate mail, my in-box has been swamped by well-wishers ranging from ex-teachers to bank vp's (gasp! A One Percent'er!). I've gotten more venom thrown at me when I wrote a column about the Hoan Bridge - I kid you not.

Da Groundhog

One interesting anecdote from LuLu's birthday bash this past weekend: When I was out swimming Lisa and her Mom noticed something brown moving on the grass. "Is that a giant squirrel?" her Mother asked. They went to investigate, but the creature had the same idea and came up to join them in the pavilion.



First it just looked at the tables.



Then it went under and around them, trying to 'sniff' out the truth.



Eventually it started climbing up and on the tables.



Then it got bored and wandered off all on its own.



I wish Lisa could remember the way she told the story when I came back out of the water. It was LOL funny and sweet to boot. I guess you'll just have to settle for my version :)

Ray Bradbury

RIP science fiction great Ray Bradbury

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies

Ok, just finished watching "Abe Lincoln vs. Zombie" a clear ripoff of the Vampire Hunter book/upcoming movie. Abe and company try to fight there way out of a fort surrounded by the undead, and the President runs into Stonewall Jackson, Pat Garrett (of Billy the Kid fame) and a young Teddy Roosevelt, in addition to an old flame turned prostitute. It was bad, but not nearly as bad as you think. Most of the acting is dreadful, with the exception of Honest Abe himself, played by Bill Oberst Jr. Oberst does a hell of a job. With him I grade this a C-/D+. Without him, a D-.

The Scott Walker Recall Election

VICTORY!!!!!!!! 

 MSNBC and FOX are reporting Walker has won the election, but NBC is reporting it too close to call and the Journal-Sentinel is hemming and hawing. My 'victory' call might have been premature. We shall see.

CNN, NBC and ABC declare Walker the winner . . 

AP declares Rebecca Keefisch the winner of her race! 

JS Online just called it for Scott . . . 

Walker has acknowledged the victory to AP . . 

OK, enough politics. If my grin gets any bigger my cheeks might split. Time to fire up the DVD player. By the way Wisconsin - I've never been prouder to call this state my home.

Quote of the Year

After work Lisa and I took the kids with us to vote. Junie was SUPER excited, almost bouncing off the walls, but when we got in the car to leave she was near tears. 

"I want to go voting," she said over and over. "Why we not go in the water?" 

That's when it dawned on me. "Did you think we were going BOATING?" I asked, and she nodded. 

"Aww, poor kid," Lisa said. "That really is a letdown."

A Blaze of Glory by Jeff Shaara - a review

First things first, and I don't mean this tongue in cheek: what a lousy title. No serious work of fiction should ever instantly remind the reader of a Jon Bon Jovi song. Never. Ever.

None-the-less, with A Blaze of Glory Jeff Shaara has returned to the cornerstone of his family's literary legacy, the Civil War. This time its a visit to the Battle of Shiloh, with Albert Sidney Johnston and William Tecumseh Sherman as the primary focus of the bloody two-day affair, with a few lower ranking voices tossed in for good measure.

At times the novel slides out of the world of fiction and summarizes the days events to move the action forward, a necessary but cumbersome device that jars you out of the 'here and now'. I also felt shortchanged by his treatment of the second day, when the Union counterattacked and won the day. Yes, there is more drama to a surprise attack and the tense hours when the battle was in doubt, but I still hold that the second day could have been given more space in the novel and a better effort than what was put forth.

Those are minor quibbles. Overall I enjoyed the book immensely, as I have with most Shaara novels. He can certainly grab your emotions with his depictions of warfare: during a scene where a Union captive was threatened with torture, my heart screamed in rage, and I remember thinking that we were far too lenient of a nation at Appomatox.

If a work of fiction can get you that fired up about a 150 year old battle, then brother the author did something right.

Grade: B+

Book #41 of the year

Metal Tornado

I rented "Metal Tornado" with Lou Diamond Phillips, a flick about an energy company that mistakenly creates a 'magnetic vortex' that threatens to engulf Philadelphia. Oh, it's not as bad as the premise and title suggest, but it's still just a pastiche of every disaster movie you've ever seen. Grade: C