LuLu's Quote of the Day

LuLu had a blast at her first day of summer school and came home happy and upbeat, saying she "loved it". I asked her what she did in class.

"Well, the first thing I did was sit around in a circle and learn everybody's name. The second thing I did was forget them all, and then . . ."

Quote of the Day

One of the smartest ideas I've ever come up with is the concept of the Back Scratch Grid (TM pending).

After years of asking someone to scratch my back, then suffering through the inevitable "higher . . .lower . . . to the left, no the left . . " I hit upon a brainstorm: Sixteen different grid areas, easily identified by co-ordinates. A (below the shoulder) to D (lower back), 1 (left) to 4 (right).

Have an itch midway up your back on the right side? Ask for assistance at location C-4. Easy-peezy. It's bloody genius, and yet for years Lisa's called me insane whenever I implement it. I guess those without the gift are prone to mocking it. Sad really.

Last night I called for help in D-3 and D-4, and met with half-haphazard results.

"What the hell?" I said. "How easy can this be? They're co-ordinates and you still managed to miss it completely. C'mon!"

She nodded agreement. "Well to be fair Dan, maybe you should divide up the grid more" she said, "since it's grown quite a bit wider since you invented it."

Ouch!

Quote of the Day

It's a beautiful day here in Milwaukee, warm and sunny but not so hot that you break into a sweat (unless you want to). Overall its been very low-key, and I've spent most of it driving my sister around town as payment for babysitting. The only exciting moment so far today (other than The Match Game - natch!)was when the mailman arrived hours early and caught a glimpse of Lisa's boobs as she changed.

"Dude, he was scoping out your t**s!" I told her.

"Was he?"

"Yeah"

"Good," she said. "Nice to know they're still popular."

* * * *


Well then. I had intended this post as a nice, family friendly collection of misc. items that don't warrant a post of their own. Eh, that won't work anyway, as I'm about to have to go chase the baby around the kitchen. Briefly:

1. Ginger is now babbling constantly, has learned the word 'no' and practices it often, can say Smiley and LuLu's names, and constructed a three word sentence the other day in her crib: "Dada baby up!"

2. I replaced YaYa's fish. At 1 am last night she woke me up as she attempted to keep Angelcakes from raiding the fishbowl on her dresser. When she kicked Angel out of her room - robbing her of her prized sleeping position next to YaYa on the bed - the cat was horrified and cried nonstop. In the end both YaYa and Angel had to sleep in our bed, with the fish safely locked alone in her room.

Quote of the Day

While we were riding home from school YaYa announced she has a new crush, and said the boy wanted to meet me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I told him all about you. He's just as gross as you are so he thinks you're cool. He even picks his nose like you do!"

LuLu chimed in with skepticism. "Uh, does he pick his nose with his pinky?"

"Yup," said YaYa.

LuLu laughed maniacally. "Then he is like Daddy!"

* * * *

Once again, I had my Escort back for 72 hours before it broke down again.

This time it appears to be - with the operative phrase being "appears to be" - just a cracked sparkplug wire. To answer all the cries of "Why don't any of these repair places give it a once-over?" I say: the exhaust place wasn't going to go poking around the engine, anymore than the regular mechanic could have forseen something cutting the brake lines while I drove. It's a stretch of bad luck, and I'm not going to chastise anyone for not being Edgar Cayce.

* * *

BTW, The Spirit was an awful movie, not even worth a full review. Skip it.

Quote of the Day

Overheard at a video store:

Clerk, on phone:

"Yes ma'am, I understand. And once again, I'd be happy to look up the 1939 version [of the film] for you. But like I said, Leonardo DiCaprio isn't in the cast . . . no, I'm sure. . .Yes, I've checked. . . ma'am . . . [exasperated] No, I won't check again, I'm sure. He's not in that version."

Quote of the Day

I asked YaYa to check on the progress of a frozen pizza we had in the oven. After much hemming and hawing and one idle threat she got up and went into the kitchen.

"It's done," she called.

Lisa and I were in the living room. "Go check it," I said, a little irritated at YaYa's delay. "She probably never even opened the stove."

A moment later Lisa reported that the pizza was, in fact, perfect and good to go.

"You know what you should do?" Lisa told YaYa tongue-in-cheek, and well within my earshot. "You should march in there and tell your Daddy off for not believing in you."

YaYa hesitated. "Go," Lisa said, laughing. "Tell him off."

YaYa walked into the living room and opened her mouth to speak.

"Daddy," she said. She paused, looking very confused. "Off."

Quote of the Day

Yesterday Smiley trapped the Lump in the corner of the dining room, using the high chair and a sheet to make a tent of his own. Lump, although untouched and in no danger, was screaming to escape. I came into the room and lifted her into the clear. I then turned to Smiley and said, in a mock scolding voice: "Nobody puts Baby in the Corner!"

Lisa started laughing, and realizing I had planned my words from the moment she cried she said, simply, "Dork."

Quote of the Day

Today YaYa's second grade class held their mock election, complete with actual ballots provided by an election worker. The verdict? McCain won by a landslide, with only four dissenting votes.

Guess who was one of the four who chose Obama? Yup, it was YaYa, no doubt swayed by her best friend and her twin brother, both of whom live in a house adorned with pro-Obama and anti-Bush signs.

"But she screwed up her ballot," Lisa said when she called to tell me. "At first her teacher couldn't tell who she voted for because she'd gotten confused and marked both."

I couldn't hold back. "Hmm," I said, "Maybe she will grow up to be a Democrat after all."

Quotes of the Day

YaYa to me: "You know that New Kid [On the Block] Mom likes? She told me that if he liked her she'd dump you. For real Daddy!"

My sister C. "YaYa that's not true! Your Mommy said that if Jon (Knight) wanted her she'd feel bad because she loves Daddy but that she'd have to dump him to move up in the world. That's all."

Oh, is that all? :)

* * * *

LuLu to me, as we headed out on a bike ride tonight and saw the moon. 

"It's only a half moon!," she said. Then after a moment. "Daddy, if spacemen were going to the moon and they, um, they didn't remembered that it was only half a moon like um, if they like go to the other side where it's not a moon would they fall off?"

* * * *

After listening to more than my fair share of her complaints about this that and the other thing (largely things I've done) I told  Lisa to knock it off and buck up. She looked at me appalled.

"Hello! I"m a woman. This is what we do," she said.

* * * *

YaYa has been a pompous pain in the as* lately and I angrily tried to put her in her place tonight.

"Listen here YaYa Middle Name, quit thinking you're the bomb! No matter who you are in this world there's always going to be someone smarter, or luckier, or better looking. You understand?," I said. Then I winked.

"Unless your name is Dan Slapinions of course."

On bikes and hospitals and sassy little kids

Today was the first day in quite awhile I've been on my bike. It was out of action for a few days because of heavy rain and when I brought it back out of the Wacky Shack I found I'd ruined the back tire by running over some glass. Cue a  stay at the bike shop, where as Dork among Dorks I also bought a nifty collapsible basket :)

Anyway, I had a nice 20 minute ride with YaYa. We even stopped and shagged balls at a local baseball practice along the way. The bike shop adjusted my seat so high I no longer have to wonder what a colonostomy feels like, but it was a godsend to finally get some exercise into my schedule.

You see, yesterday night my Mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she was admitted with blood pressure of 180 over ?, a 102 degree temp, and badly swollen legs that were leaking water.

I love the woman dearly, but if you don't decide to just get up and move God's gonna make your decision permanent. Her hospitalization, which may turn into yet another stay at an extended care facility,was another little 'push' to keep up my diet and exercise plan.

That plan has only been 40% on schedule the last week or so, thanks to that Olive Garden trip. I can safely ignore temptation, so long as I'm not given a taste.  No 'one drag of a cigarette' or 'just a slice of pizza' or 'only an hour with the transvestite' - no, for me that way leads to the Dark Side.

So for the foreseeable future it's ixnay on the Italian food, that's for sure.

* * * *

Quote of the Day, and coincidentally on the subject:

Completely in jest as we horsed around outside.

Me: You be quiet you Punky Brewster or I'll break ya in two!

LuLu (laughing): No you won't! I have bones!

Me: I can do it. I'm strong!

LuLu: [snickered] How? You barely even work out!

Tags: blogplugs

Quote of the Day

My two oldest girls have been driving me crazy the last few days, sniping and whining and just being bothersome. It has *not* been pretty.

Monday at dinner they had the following exchange.

Both: [general bickering, mild personal attacks disguised as conversation]

YaYa: "It doesn't matter LuLu. When I grow up I'm going to be famous, and you? Well, you'll just be poor."

And with that, no lie, she twirled her fork into her mouth in that snooty food critic style.

LuLu: "Oh, yeah? Well when I grow up I'm going to get married to a cool boy and you'll be married to a dork. And I won't invite you to my wedding, so pfft."

YaYa: "It doesn't matter. I'll just show up anyway."

LuLu bursts into tears. "You just can't show up if I don't invite you! You can't! Daddy! YaYa says she's going to go to my wedding but I didn't invite her!"

I will say this for them though, as long as we're on the subject of dinner. Both of 'em eat salad like it's candy, ESPECIALLY LuLu, who'll ask for one out of the blue. Heck, I think I had all of twenty salads in my entire childhood, and between them they come close to matching that in a week. 

Smiley, not so much. Meat is pretty much all we can get down him at dinner without a fight, although he does all right with broccoli (w/ ranch) and asparagus in moderation.

Lump, while a voracious eater, loses 90% of her meals to the floor around her high chair.

Quotes of the Day - LuLu Version

I was sitting on the couch tonight when LuLu came up to me.

"Daddy, do you know what time it is?", she asked.

"No," I said.

"It's FARTY time," she said, then jumped on my lap, passed gas, and ran away giggling.

* * * *

Earlier in the week my wife had asked her what she was going to wear to bed.

"I'll just wear naked" she said.

* * * * *

For the record, I have never met a kid so 'at one' with the TV. Not enthralled or even zoned out (I've seen kids that would stare at the screen if their pants were on fire. That's not the case here). Nor does she watch 'that' much TV by American standards. Maybe an hour of Disney Channel, and even then it's often playing as white noise while life goes on.

But does she ever soak it in:

* She'll finish character's sentences FOR AN ENTIRE SCENE

* She'll tell you what episode of Hannah Montana or The Suite Life of Zach and Cody or whatever it is within a minute of watching, no matter at what point she joins the show.

* She'll mimic the actions of the characters to a T

*She will constantly reference the lives, personalities, and mischief of characters throughout the day, sprinkled into conversation so easily that a stranger would think she was talking about her siblings

One day last week I saw her watching an episode of Zach and Cody guest starring Tom Poston. "It's sad that he's dead now," I said. She was confused.

"Who?"

"That guy"

"Nuh-uh. He's sitting right there talking. Duh!"

"Lu, he's just an actor playing a role. This was taped long ago. Zach and Cody aren't real you know"

"They're not?" she said.

Now I think that last line might have been tossed in there to play cutesie-wootsie, because she seems perfectly capable of identifying actorsas they play different parts in different movies and shows. I think the knowledge just slipped from her five-year old brain for a second there.

In no way does this TV quirk trouble me or my wife. I think mental tics like that must run through  our combined DNA. Give me five notes of a song and I'll give you the title and artist (I wish Name that Tune had a modern day version). Play a song for YaYa just once and she'll have the lyrics down. Give Lisa the name of any business past or present and she'll sing you their jingle on the spot. LuLu's quirk just seems to be audio and visual.

One thing did, well, not alarm me per se but throw me off. She doesn't watch Nickelodeon here, but she must at Grandma's. She calls the station 'Zoe 101' (referencing one of its shows) and proudly told me today that "Zoe had a baby. And she wasn't even married! For real Daddy!"

'Zoe' of course, is played by Jamie Lynn Spears.

Sigh.

Quote of the Day, and a Lovely Lady at the Mall

After work today I packed up LuLu and Smiley and headed for the mall to have my wedding ring repaired. Somehow I'd managed to flatten the bottom of the ring, almost to the point it would've stood up on its own if it wasn't so top heavy.

On the way home I called Lisa.

"Yeah, they said it would be a week and I could pick it up next Monday night."

"A week? How bad did you damage it?"

"It hasn't changed since you saw it. I think they just wanted to send it to a goldsmith in Chicago."

"Oh. Well at least it'll be free."[we'd purchased the lifetime warranty back in the day]

"Yeah, but I'm really upset. It's the first time in twelve years that ring's been off my finger for more than a minute."

"Awww, that's sweet. But I know you love me baby.. . "

"Nah, it's not that. I'm upset this didn't happen the week you were out of town. You're really going to cramp my chances now."

"God, how long did it take you to think of  that joke?"

"Oh, about ten seconds after the jeweler told me the news."

Sighs. "Dork."

* * * *

I do miss the ring though. There's a depression around my finger that borders on a permanent disfigurement, like some poor Chinese girl's feet a hundred years ago. And I'm very very used to twisting it constantly. It's absence is  . . bothersome.

* * * * *
On the way out of the mall a black woman walked up to the three of us and said "Loretta! Pull it god da** it! MotherF*er pull the g***amned cord bit**."

Well now. Allrighty. Not cool to say in front of the kids, not that they even noticed.  I quickly gauged the physical threat level, dismissed her, and got on with enjoying my Aunt Annie pretzel.

Priorities and all. Besides, by now I'm used to kooks.

But on the way out I noticed that without meaning to, the woman and my fine trio seemed to be in sync, We turned, she turned. She went left in front of us, we wound up going left. At one point Smiley ran in front of her towards the escalator and I had to push past her, begging her pardon. She said she understood and said 'go ahead" polite as can be.

Ten feet later she began talking to Lorretta again. I noticed security quietly encircling our cozy group and decided it was time to get the kids back to the car. Still not upset, mind you, because this was diddly-poo. This isn't New York, but it ain't Mayberry either.

But the whole way through Boston Store we do the same joined-at-the-hip thing. Every time there was a chance to skip ahead the kids would want to stop and look at this or that, or jump on the giant shoe pics plastered on the floor.

We all walked out the door together, and the woman turned around, flipped the guards the bird, and said "See you later motherf**ers".

By now I've got a smile on my face because its pretty obvious this chick and I are going down together, Bonnie and Clyde style. I can't get rid of her, and now there's cops in cars following behind us. And no, I didn't want to stop walking, because I wasn't keen on the kids seeing more of the show.

It turns out this woman is parked three cars away from us, despite the fact that this is the largest mall in the state of Wisconsin, with a parking lot the size of Rhode Island. As she starts going off on the guards as her grand finale,  Lu starts to argue with me about where she should sit. Man, kids can be oblivious. I felt like laughing.

"Do you not see the crazy lady over there? Did you somehow miss the cops that were following us, or the  car that almost ran over Smiley? What do you think is going on here?  I really don't need to have two little kids get in my way if all hell breaks loose. Get in the bleepin' car"

And yeah, I'm proud to say I actually said 'bleepin'."

Mother's Day, Quote of the Day, a reading challenge, and problems with a neighbor

Hope you all had a great Mothers Day.

The kids and I bought Lisa a painting entitled 'Winter Trees' for the holiday. I'll probably post a picture of it once it's on the wall. Midmorning we bummed around a strip mall for a bit and then headed over to Olive Garden for lunch, where the kids were so awful at first that I stood up and said I wanted to go home. They quickly turned it around once the first breadstick arrived and were angels from that point forward, but they spent the rest of the afternoon at my Mom's house. That last bit was probably the best gift I gave Lisa the whole day.

Oh, my apologies. The baby was an angel start to finish. I don't want to lump her in with the rest of the troublemakers.

Anyhow, overheard at lunch:

LuLu: I'm a vampire, and I'm gonna suck your blood!

YaYa, w/ full head bob-and-shake: Nuh-uh. I'm a zombie, and I'm already dead so you can't suck my blood.

LuLu: Dad!

Me: It's true, zombies are the living dead. Even if they have blood I doubt you could drink it.  It's not good for you.

YaYa: Ha! Now I'm going to eat you!

 I casually dipped a breadstick. Then:  Well, zombies do eat flesh. But a vampire is pretty close to immortal, so I'm not sure how that would work. Seems like a no-win situation.

LuLu (singsong): Ha Ha! You can't eat me!

* * * *

On Friday the city showed up at my door in response to a neighbor's (and I use the term neighbor loosely) complaint that we are running a day care. It was their second complaint in a year. 

A f'ing day care. Whatever. There are days we can barely handle our four, no one here is looking to add someone else's kids to the mix.

The impetus for the call seems to be what the complaint refers to as 'children of multiple ethnicities' being dropped off at 'all hours of the day and night'. Last things first: my kids are in the house and on the way to bed at 7 pm, and the only time someone here is up past midnight is when the baby's crying.

Back to the first part. Chris' kids are half-black, and apparently that's reason enough for someone to call, and more surprisingly, for the city to respond.

I wrote a long and scathing post about this on my 'test journal' but I've buried it becase, frankly, I need to bury my anger, period. The city inspector blew off the complaint and said he'd pop a note in the records to ignore any future calls on the subject, but I am pissed.

Serenity now. Serenity now.

* * * *

One more thing. At the mall I bought YaYa a book for $1 ("He said it was either that or nothing, so I said fine, I'll take it") and she read it aloud to her siblings all the way to my Mom's. This was a book based on a German folk tale, and it featured some pretty hard words and a whole heck of a lot of text per page. 

 I say this to the world: quit bragging about your kid's reading to me. I hear you, I do, saying X is the best reader in his 1st grade class and he's bound for advanced placement. Here's what I say: must be a weak school system. YaYa's already chewing on a Nancy Drew book before bed. She's six and a half.

Bring it. I dog dare ya. One on one readoff, anytime, anyplace, YaYa vs any other 1st grader out there :)

Quote of the Day "No One"

An hour after I put the kids to bed I heard footsteps upstairs. Moving to the stairs I could hear the faint sounds of a TV, sneakily turned on with the volume down.

"Who's still awake up there!" I said. 'Said' is a misnomer. It was more like the battle cry of a Visgoth.

"No one-", YaYa said quickly, starltled into responding without thinking. 

I heard a disgusted sigh at her own slip of the tongue, a moments pause, and a resigned "We all are."

It'd be funny if it wasn't a sign of dismal parenting on my part. How they avoided detection for so long is beyond me. They can't go two minutes without equaling the decibel level of a jet during the day, but try to put them to bed and they can sneak around like they have their own private 'mute' button at their disposal.

Things aren't perfect

This post is heavily edited for content, as I sagely had the Mrs. preview the piece. Not that any of it was awful, but it was, as Lisa said "more appropriate for our scrapbook' then public consumption.

Lest you need a reminder that things are not always golden in the Slapinions household:

I cannot stand the baby at this moment. While 90% healthy now, she is spoiled from all the attention she received and kept me up most of the night.

Naturally then, my work phone rang non-stop at 8 o'clock  on a Saturday morning. The lousy thing about that Nextel - well, except for being REQUIRED to answer it, which is and always will be the 'worst' thing - is that the voice mail is obnoxious. Get a message and it will alert you, loud and clear, every couple of minutes until Christ himself returns to shut it off.

And then someone was knocking on my front door . . Sigh.

Meanwhile we spent all evening/night/most of the morning with no heat on the ground floor, and it was a pretty cold night too. I assumed the thermostat had gone kablooey, as I couldn't see anything wrong with the furnace. Then I had a sinking suspicion and looked at the 'on/off light-switch'  breaker on the side of the furnace. The switch was shiny and new.

That furnace is older than me. Nothing on me is shiny and new anymore, much less something on a device that spends its time in the basement. Sure enough, one of the kids (Smiley????!!!!) had flipped it off. A second later we had heat again.

&^&^%$#

I had managed to farm off the two oldest late Friday eveinng, for all the good that did me. My sister Katie helped them pack their things, and I went upstairs to find her stuffing a comforter set into a plastic bag.

"What the hell are you doing?" I said.

"Packing YaYa's sleeping bag," she said.

"That's not a sleeping bag, that's her whole bedset," I said.

"No it's not, she said that's her sleeping bag"

"I don't care if she said that was a bleeping battleship, have you ever seen a sleeping bag like that? YaYa! Quit messing with your Aunt or you're gonna stay home and go to bed!"

[Just a few hours before she had watched me pick carefully through our full garbage can looking for a $10 bill I'd lost; sure enough I found it.

Kiddingly I roared to her "Did you throw this away?"

She looked at me with distaste. It should be noted that YaYa has a reputation as . . well, part Scrooge when it comes to money.

"Dad, the day I ever throw away money is the day the cats fly"]

She also thought to 'treat' us to a 'snack' of pretzels that she dipped in yogurt and left out to dry. I tried them, and they weren't all that bad. "Oh good," she said. "I was worried. I guess I'll try one now"

Later she also admitted to spilling yogurt all over this keyboard, which was SO much fun to clean up and just VASTLY improved typing. Why, it's like a game - how many stuck keys can you find in a given sentence?

* * *

Oh, btw I just discovered we're out of toilet paper; guess how I know?????

* * *

I have to go, the baby's bawling. &*(&@#

 

An example of how honesty has never been an issue in our marriage

I had my wife read a post I did yesterday (but have yet to post).

"It's good. Very well written today."

"Today? As opposed to what?"

"As opposed to some of the junk you pass off as posts"

Later I asked if she'd read the Leap Day post.

"Maybe"

"Maybe?"

"Yeah, I think so. It was that boring one wasn't it?"

"What do you mean, 'boring'? Did you even read it?"

"Of course."

"What was it about?"

"It was about . . [shrugs] I don't know. Something about snow and the car. And you wrote 2009, not 2008. See, I told you I read it! Ha!"

{note: I did indeed write 2009, and later edited it out}

"So what did you think about the phone call?"

"What phone call?"

''You didn't even read it to the end??!"

"I  . . . mighthavestoppedhalfwaythrough. Look, you would NEVER read 30 posts a month if I had a blog. I bet you wouldn't even glance at more than three a year, would you?"

"Ah, that's not true. I've told you to get a blog for years."

"That's such a crock. You'd hate my blog. It'd be 'Danny did this' and 'Danny said that' and you'd spend all day trying to get me to edit out all the stupid things you do all the time".

Snort. "Bull. You don't have a blog because no one wants to read about making flannel frog pins and paper mache dolphins. You'd put people to sleep."

Laughs. "Uh, half of Blogger is about paper mache dolphins, thank you very much. And just for that, maybe I'm going to start a blog and make it all about those flannel frog pins. And you know what? I'm going to make you read every-single-word- aloud. Would you like that bunky? Wouldya?"

And finally, her complete email response to a whiny email of mine.

that was the main point, dont look between the lines for derogatory sh*t,  you know i love you, shut up.

Ah, true love lol

 

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Tags: Lisa

Why Lurkers Suck

True Conversation between me and C.:

Me: "Today's the anniversary of the day I met Lisa."

C: "I know"

Me: "How do you know?"

C: "I read it on your site this morning"

Me (surprised): "You read Slapinions?"

C: "Yeah"

Me: "How often?"

C: "I don't know. Once every other day maybe."

Me (shocked): "How come you never comment?"

C: "Why should I?"

Me: "So I don't feel like some loser  talking to himself. . .you know, so I know someone actually reads it."

C: "Well . . I just told you I read it, so . . now you know."

Quote of the Day (Language Advisory)

True story:

I'm at work late on New Years Eve and some kids come up to get change. But I'm already dealing with a young couple in their early '20's. The male half of this couple comes up a little short and asks his girlfriend to front him the money.

"You'll have to work at paying me back," she says.

He scoffs. "You can have a taste of my balls. That'll be enough of a payback," he says.

She laughs.

""No, really; a taste of Balls is more than enough," he said.

At this point I'm a little p*ssed. "You want to watch your language around the kids?" I say.

They look incredulous.

"Balls is a drink," the guy says, and shows me a bottle. The woman bursts out laughing.

I'm still not sure if I was conned or not, but they sure seemed on the up and up.

* * * *

Again - thank God I no longer work nights in this business. Without going into detail (and I never have re: work) I mediated a physical argument between two groups. One accused the other of getting a child drunk; the other claimed the accusers were armed and going to retaliate.

All this and that before-mentioned headache too . .

100 minutes to go. . . and then all I have to worry about is driving home with all the drunks on the road.

Sigh. I shoulda been born rich.

Quote of the Day

I was at a school development committee meeting, and near the end of it we all began to chat for awhile. The subject of kid's names came up (one woman having named her son  Tamburlaine after a Christopher Marlowe play).

I mentioned that we had once considered the name "Lydia" for a daughter, and that it was a name we both liked to this day.

"Why didn't you go with it then?" one woman asked.

"Because of what they'd call her on the playground," I said. "It'd be Clymidia this, Clymidia that".

In retrospect, as Conan O'Brien would say in a mock Spinal tap accent "Innappropriate!", esp. at a Catholic school meeting.

'Least I wasn't the one to later repeat the Seinfeld "Dolores rhymes with . . " gag at the same meeting.