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Monday, April 20, 2009

Loooong and meandering Post

A grade-school friend of mine was ordained as a Priest this past weekend, and it's about time. I remember as kids he'd recite every word of the Mass along with the Priest, as if he was conducting the service himself. I haven't spoken to him in ten years, so I'm not sure why he delayed enlisting, but all the power to him. Congrats Brad!

* * * *

To be honest I'm a little jealous of Brad. As a kid part of me wanted to become a Priest, and I remember playing 'Mass' with my sisters and using the piano bench as an altar. But I knew from an early age it wasn't for me. I've inherited a foul mouth, for one, and I also - let me be blunt - have a decently robust sex drive. During puberty I'd spend a good portion of the Mass staring at the ass of the girls ahead of me as they knelt in prayer. That . . . didn't bode well for celibacy.

* * * *

Regarding my last post, I think I'm going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that his statement, while quoted in the correct context, came off more bigoted than he intended. Maybe he's Catholic himself, or was, and was one of the people scarred by the abuse scandals; who knows?

It is creepy that he sought to mail it to my home. That isn't cool, although again I think he was harmless.

* * * *

You want real religious bigotry? A guy came into my work wearing a t-shirt that read "So many Christians - so few lions".

You are free to believe what you like, but can you imagine the uproar it would cause if he wore a shirt joking about violence towards Jews? Because of the Holocaust he wouldn't dare (instead, he'd no doubt moan about Israel; I do believe many of the people who hate on that state do so as an outlet for their anti-Semitism). Worse yet, can you imagine if he wore a shirt preaching violence against Islam, especially in the mideast?

He wouldn't - because they'd cut off his head. Literally.

And yet I'm willing to bet he doesn't think twice about the value of the First Amendment that grants him his freedom. It's a shame.

* * * *

Speaking of Israel, a word on Hitler, as today was the bitter anniversary of his birth. He was a monster. Period. Why we need to create more reasons to hate the man than those amply provided by WWII is beyond me, but I've seen more than one source in the last few days that sought to do just that.

I picked up a book that took grade school age photos of Hitler and sought to extrapolate intent and evil and malignancy in the eyes of a little kid . Crap like that minimizes the true breadth of his evil and twists it all into a cheap horror film plot. Think The Omen. The book was promptly returned to the shelf.

Then there are several TV specials that seek to establish, somehow/someway, that Hitler was of Jewish descent. I do not comprehend this line of reasoning. They aren't doing it to reason out a new and comprehensive physiological portrait of the man. No, they're doing it because in a twisted way it somehow makes him 'less' than he was, allegedly because if he was indeed of Jewish descent then he was a hypocrite on top of it all. I think we can all agree hypocrisy was the least of his crimes. Isn't that pursuit a dangerous, if unintended slippery slope? Aren't these people saying, in effect, "Hey, guess what? Not only was he an a*hole, but it turns out he was a Jew too! Can you believe that?"

What does it matter??

Maybe I'm too sensitive on the subject. I don't know.

* * * *

One last WWII thing that ticks me off: ignoring Stalin's ills and painting his USSR as a besieged, noble country that rallied to stifle Nazism. Bullshit. Hitler killed millions and dragged the world into war. Easily, easily one of the top three human beings of the century. But Stalin was right up there, and unlike his one-time buddy Adolf, Joe went merrily committing mass murder for decades. Millions were murdered under his rule and few people seem to care, perhaps - and I'll grant this is dark - but perhaps simply because he never got around to waging war against American soldiers and grabbing the media's attention.

And uh, 'poor' Russia not only had a friendship pact with Germany, they invaded Poland in concert with Hitler.

* * * *
Allegedly a true story of WWII, but probably apocryphal: we of course bit our tongue about all those nasty points and supplied the Soviet Union with anything and everything they needed to fight Germany, as they were the only nation capable of bleeding Germany dry through raw numbers. When I say anything and everything I mean exactly that, right down to birth control. The Russians, as a macho snub against the Americans, requested condoms that measured eighteen inches long.

The Americans promptly delivered them as requested. Across each crate was stamped:

Condoms: size Medium

* * * *

In the last few days we marked the tenth anniversary of the Columbine shootings. When it happened I was working third shift. I remember on the night of the attack/early the next morning the newspaper guy came in and dropped off Journal's with the news splashed across the front page. I'd slept through the day itself, never hearing so much as a whisper about the attack.

* * * *

Let's end a bleak post with some happy thoughts: while I was at work Monday Lisa took Ginger for her first ever haircut. She did great and didn't fuss a bit :)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

A short Saturday post

It's a beautiful day here in Milwaukee, with summer like temps and an insane amount of sunlight. We even had my father-in-law and his wife stop by to visit in the backyard. And wonder of wonders, my tulips have begun to come up! Having planted them in the midst of our first winter snowstorm I'd have laid money on them being a no-go, but they're hardier than I thought.

* * * * *

I got my first anonymous, non-fan (not hate) mail yesterday. It was mailed to my father, as I'm not in the book, and was a polite handwritten letter responding to my article on Archbishop Dolan. Nothing objectionable in it until the end, where he says "congratulations to your [Lutheran] wife for not being under the spiritual domination" of the Catholic Church.

Ah. There are only two acceptable bigotries in America nowadays, one towards fat people and another towards Catholics. Luckily I'm both.

* * * * *

I work today and have to hit the showers. Later!

Friday, April 17, 2009

A talk with a Vet

I love collecting stories from people, even I never record their words on paper. That was the case the other day at work, when in a lull I found myself conversing with a man in his sixties. He was a retiree who spent some of his free time flying old WWII planes, mainly Mustang knockoffs and (my favorite) the Corsair.

I asked him what he was doing in Milwaukee, since he mentioned he lived 45 minutes away in Lake Geneva.

"Oh I was up at the VA getting something looked at. The docs want to take some more shrapnel outta my back, but I said I'd get back to 'em. Sure they numb you up, but that sucker hurts like hell for days after the surgery."

I asked him if he'd been a pilot in Vietnam, thinking he'd been a helicopter pilot that took some flak. He said no, he was an Army Ranger. Now when you talk to a guy from that era and you hear the words 'Ranger', 'Green Beret' or 'Seal', it makes you wonder if you're about to hear a tall tale. No one wants to say 'I spent the war as a clerk typist in Saigon', but I had a genuine feeling about this guy, especially when he detailed how he got his wound.

"We were checking out a village, see, that was our job. To come on in before the troops and make sure things were the way they were supposed to be. Sometimes it got hairy, but most of the time we weren't there to fight, we just had to check things out. Anyway I'm wallking through the village and I tripped over a landmine. And I mean I tripped over the damn thing, like my shoelace was untied or something. Blew right up. My back looks like a damn road atlas. It was allright tho, I left with all my arms and legs, which was good. But every once in awhile they want to go digging for some shrapnel. Last time was twenty years ago, but they said some of it shifted. Might be no bigger than a grain of sand, but they move. They might just move a [shows me his fingers a cm or two apart] in five years, but they work their way around. Doc says its near an organ and he wants it out."

He shrugged. "You know I'm on pysch meds. I ain't ashamed or nothing. Had a nervous breakdown. Doctors at the VA say it's Post-Traumatic but that's bull. I was always a little mixed up, from way back. It started getting worse and my wife bailed on me, and that was it, I cracked up."

He shrugged again. "Anyway, nice talking to ya. I didn't know it was this late. I gotta get back."

Fifteen minutes I spent talking to the guy, and in all that time I never got his name. Not once. If I see him again I'll ask for a formal interview. I've done two or three, with research, transcriptions, the whole ball of wax. One's even on file down at the Milwaukee Historical Society.

But even if I never see him again, it was time well spent.

A Joke

Warning: Naughty Bit

Read on, dear reader, and don't confuse the Obama reference ahead with a political post. It's a joke people, a funny.

A ten minute segment of Smiley's spring concert was a spoken word piece starring kids from the older grades. In the performance children were lined up across the stage and, one at a time, recited a fact or anecdote from the life of Barrack Obama, all presented in front of a rousing PowerPoint picture medley of the President.

What the hell. He's the President, and the new car smell hasn't worn off yet. I can deal, even if it is dancing on the edge of creepy.

Anyway, the amusing part. Every part of Obama's life, large and small, EVERY anecdote, ended with some variation of " . . . because Barrack Obama wanted to help people.". No part of his life was governed by motives outside the common good. The kids could talk about a job Obama had in high school and it would come out: "after careful thought he decided to work at Pizza Hut[dramatic pause] because Barrack Obama wanted to help feed people".

This went on with each kid across the stage and it was so over the top some parents in the audience began to snicker - and it was a very pro-Obama crowd.

There are advantages to sitting in the back row. Midway through I grinned and whispered to Lisa: "and after his prom Barrack Obama asked his date if he could take her virginity, because in his heart Barrack Obama only wanted to help people [climax]"

I believe Lisa hit me at that point, but if she did I was too busy laughing to notice.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

What a lousy day

Ugh, I can't wait for this day to end.

After my last post I took Smiley out to the hospital to get those x-rays of my back. I figured, one, two shots at best - easy peezy fresh and freezy. Nuh-uh. They had me strip to my skivvies and did a busload of x-rays while Smiley sat and flirted with the radiologists. Thank God I'd thought to change my undies before I went.

Then, on the way home my brakes failed.

No warning, no prior problem. I'm rolling along at 30 miles an hour, the light turns red, I go to stop and nothing. Not a thing. I took the pedal all the way to the floor and nada, and then at the last second they kicked in and brought me to a stop mere inches - literally inches - from the guy in front of me.

After that the brake light announced itself and I noticed that there was a trail of liquid behind the car - brake fluid. As I was only half a block from a Walgreens (really, when isn't someone half a block from a Walgreens?) I stopped and put in some fluid I bought there, then continued home at a snails pace. I was careful to stick to side streets and because of this it took me around 40 minutes to cover the 15 minute ride home.

I had that car out of the shop for all of 72 hours. #!@#@$%

Remember, I still had to go pick up those couches. I hooked up with Socialist and headed out to Pewaukee, where Lisa had made arrangements to buy the set from a guy on Craigslist. We went armed with Mapquest directions, directions that were apparently flawed. They took Socialist and I about ten minutes out of the way, ten minutes spent arguing politics. Yay.

He and I got the couch and loveseat to my house, where we struggled to fit the pieces through my door. It was only after the loveseat was in and the couch stuck in the door that I remembered - ok, was prompted by Lisa's friend Jessica - that my new bay windows could be removed completely to accommodate moving furniture. D'oh. In the end, that's how we got the couch to fit.

Then it was on to Socialists house to reload his van with all the tools of his profession. During this time we noticed that three of the couch legs had been left inside his van. I took them home confident the fourth was at home (we'd removed them in front of the house) but so far, we haven't found it.

Great.

When I got home I had to help Lisa carry the old couch out to the curb, and THAT was a big ordeal, with Lisa laying into me for alleged - and by that I mean imaginary - lapses in carrying my share of the load. When we finally got it outside our neighbor to the north rushed over to offer Lisa I hand, but I shooed him away. I was dang ready to see she finished the job she had us start.

The only bright spot of the day were the kids physicals, were they all got a clean bill of health. Ah, but even that has a gray lining, as LuLu came straight from a sleepover with her cousin and showed up for the physical with ratty hair, a dirty shirt, and day old undies. The kicker is I'd called ahead and told them to get her ready for the appointment. Grrreeeaaat impression for the doc, dontcha think?

Friday, where are you????

Doctor Thursday at the Slapinions house

It's going to be a long day of doctor appointments. I already finished one and found out what I already knew: that last weeks x-ray's showed heel spurs. I guess what was good enough for Joltin' Joe is good enough for me.

But I also discussed my back with the doc. I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a kid but was told it was too mild to be treated. Eh, that reeks of bulls**t in hindsight, but either way its gotten much more pronounced lately. The doc checked my spine, noted a curvature to the right, rattled off some Latin into his digital recorder and said "Your left side is shorter, correct?"

"Left side of what? My whole left side? I don't know, I've never measured."

He nodded briskly. "It is shorter. Note how your left shoulder sits below your right. You must go for x-rays."

So in a few minutes its back out to West Allis to get the ol' spine zapped.

Meanwhile, Lisa has developed an abscess above a troublesome tooth, which is naturally a concern for us all. Oh, and all three of the older kids have scheduled physicals for this afternoon and I'm supposed to drive to Pewaukee this evening to pick up a new couch.

Fun times, fun times.

Beat the Reaper - a review



In many different ways, Beat the Reaper is a formulaic thriller. Boy's family is murdered, to avenge them boy grows up to be a professional killer, boy repents and quits, bad guys find boy, violence ensues. We've all seen the plot a dozen times or more.

Author Josh Bazell, a medical doctor turned author, decides to shake things up a bit while still sticking to that formula. Our ex-hit man Peter Brown is now living as a working (and exhausted) emergency room doctor, having gone back to med school in the witness protection program. It's pure bad luck that he treats a man he knew in his former life, a guy who ignores his terminal diagnosis and announces that if he dies, he's made sure the mob will know of Peter's whereabouts.

Somehow, someway Peter must keep the man alive to keep the secret safe - or else find a way to kill him without alerting the mob.

I've heard complaints about the books format, which includes footnotes that elaborate on the medical and social issues in the book. I disagree with this critique completely, as I thought it was an inventive and entertaining break from convention.

Where I find fault is in some scenes done in poor taste (such as an act of oral sex with a girl mere feet from her brothers corpse) and a viciously harsh assessment of Poland and its WWII anti-Semitism that populates a flashback. Perhaps the criticism of that country was justified, but in my experience someone capable of that much anger and contempt is often the equal of their target in bigotry.

Based on the work as a whole I would tepidly recommend this book for action/thriller readers, but one scene lifts this book to must read status. The final action is so out of left field and so extreme, that I literally laughed out loud in suprise and said "Oh my [bleeping] god!"

It is . . .crazy.

For that scene alone, you need to pick up a copy of this book.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

American Idol: broadcast on the anniversary of the Titanic's fatal contact with an iceberg and Booth's mortal wounding of Lincoln

Memo to AI producers: I don't give a flying fig about time constraints, I want to hear Simon's critique on each and every performer. If you need to trim the fat start with Paula and her wooden, pre-scripted comments; Kara 'Wrong Song Choice' DiGuardo (sic), or Randy 'Pitch Problems' Jackson.

Keep Simon yakking or lose your audience. Seriously.

* * * *

Quentin Tarratino? Instructing a singing competition? Jeez, who's next in line to tutor these guys, Dean Koontz?

* * * *

1. Allison - Ah, a great voice but a narrow comfort zone. Everything sounds the same. Great, but the same. Wait a few years and put a bottle of bourbon in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and package her as the next Janis Joplin. But she's not gonna win this thing.

2. Anoop - the best performance of the night, just smoooth like buttah. Well done.

3. Adam - Some weeks he's as good as he imagines he is, sometimes he's not, not by a long shot. I promised to judge him against his own standards and not those of the group, but by any criteria I thought tonight was pretentious poop. It was one step away from drag queen camp, Vegas style, and about as rugged and 'wild' as a crocheted scarf. Ah, I know there are ladies who are now eager to blast away at me for daring to cross the man, but with all due respect: stop thinking with your Vajayjay. It's as unbecoming as men voting for Megan just because she was hot.

4. Matt - I thought it was very good until about twenty-five seconds from the end. Then it fell apart, but I think he did well enough to stick around.

5. Danny - ho hum. It was like dinner with your Grandmother: pleasant enough, but more than a little on the dull side.

6. Kris - wow, who paid the guy to take a dive? I thought it was gut wrenching, and not in the sense of 'captured my empathy and emotions'. He might be in trouble.

7. Lil' - better than in prior weeks, for sure, but she's put the bar so low it's not difficult to best her par. She's adrift artistically, and her weekly reactions to the judging makes me question her maturity and temperament. But again, better than her past performances.


My bottom three? Lil, Kris, and Adam.

America's bottom three? Lil, Kris and Matt.

Who goes home? Probably Lil, just because of the cumulative effect of lousy performances, but on a 'this week only' basis it would have to be Kris.

Tuesday Update

Well, a Wednesday update as it's after midnight, but who's counting? I'm back online, courtesy of YaYa's Godfather, who restored my old desktop up to factory default after being on the sidelines for several months. I've had to swipe a 10 year old monitor from a computer the kids sometimes goof around with, since the monitor is kaput, but at least we're online. Alas, it does not look good for the computer that Smiley may/may not have vandalized. That laptop might be KIA. Keep your fingers crossed.

And if I didn't say it loud enough - THANKS MAN! Those Sprecher's will be in your hands shortly! (Pick 'n Save only had the low cal)

* * * *

Plenty of pics from this past weekend, from the traditional Good Friday Easter Egg Dyeing to the baskets of Easter morn and a trip to the park I took with Smiley. I'll get those up (knock on wood) once I get my software reloaded on my desktop.

* * * * *

My Escort has also returned to active duty. While still needing a strut in the back it's running, and not taking the bus feels sooooo good. Now we'll have to get the van in for a tunep and an alignment.

* * * * *

YaYa has declared her intention of doing something 'different' with her life. Her stated career options are as follows: actress, writer, firefighter, astronaut, and NTSB air accident investigator.

* * * * *

Thursday YaYa went with me to the hospital to get x-rays to ID/eliminate bone spurs as the cause of the constant pain in my left foot. She got to sit with the nurses and view the x-rays, which she thought was cool, but was slightly embarrassed when we left.

"Dad, your foot stank. The whole room smelled when you were done."

Blogger Issues and Changes to the Comment Page

I had a big scare here on Slapinions yesterday. With my home computer still down I visited the local library after work to check my email. That worked fine, but I was unable to view my site on the first computer I tried. So I tried another. No site. Another. Still no Slapinions. I could sign into my dashboard page but venturing any further resulted in a Blogger error message.

The first Blogger resource I queried suggested my site had been automatically shut down as a 'spam site'. I guess it's not all that uncommon for Blogger to close a site because of a false negative whenever their algorithm mistakes a phrase or link in the site as spam content. Naturally I'd noticed that my last post had resulted in two spam comments, at least one of which linked to porn. Great.

But, the resource was quick to say, Blogger is quick to restore the site in cases of mistaken identity, while of course always searching for a way to improve their algorithm and bring sunshine into the life of all God's creatures.

Phooey. So much for Google being the safe haven of the exiled J-Landers.

A little later a rash of complaints quoting the same error code came up on Blogger help groups, which cheered me up quite a bit. One guy getting screwed is easy to ignore. Not so much when three dozen people are moaning about it all over the web.

Today, the site was back up where it belongs.

So as of today, with some regret, I've added the annoying anti-spam, word verification step to the comment page. I know Ken, in particular, hates that step but I'm gonna have to play it safe and run with it anyway. It's not like I'm inundated with comments, spam or otherwise, but I'm not going to take the chance and have one moron out there knock out five years of my work.

And you better believe I'm searching for a way to back up the site - again - this time off Google, which ain't easy to do, as the big G is to the web what the Mantle era Yankees were to baseball.

Who knows, maybe the first Blogger resource was dead wrong and it was just a general error - but why dare to take the chance?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Update

I'm writing this from the local library. After what may or may not have been an attempt by Smiley to clean it with windex, our computer is now kaput. I can only hope it's up and running soon.

Some bad news yesterday: the close friend of Lisa's best (female) friend died of an accidental overdose at her home in Michigan. Lisa and I had just talked about her that very morning, which increased the freakiness of the news. She'd been shown here on Slapinions near Christmas - the woman who attended the Christmas Bear concert with the kids. My girls remembered her instantly. "Evie's Mom died?" LuLu asked in shock.

Our prayers are with her family.

* * * *

Good news: here's a link to my article yesterday. If you are not Catholic and/or not from Milwaukee it's of little direct interest to you.

* * * *

And an Easter Good Samaratin: on the way to the library I buckled Smiley into the carseat, putting my books and DVD's on top of the van to free up my hands. Guess who then drove away, leaving $70 or more of library materials to fly away? I was so upset, but as I retraced my steps the guy on the corner presented me with all but one of the items. "Lose these?", he said. Moments later I found the last item, slightly damaged, in the middle of the street in front of my house.

* * * *

If I don't get back online before Sunday - happy Easter to everyone!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Smiley takes the Bus

This Monday Smiley began taking the school bus to school.


He loves it. He waits, staring out the living room window until it pulls up, then yells 'bye' and runs out the door. His friend Jay-Jay rides with him, offering him a manic 'hello' wave when the bus pulls up.
He tells everyone about it; in fact when he visited my Mom his first words were his version of "take bus".

Me? I hate it. I'm proud of him, and happy that he enjoys it, but it makes me a paranoid nut. I've kept that to myself, and I'm getting better, but oh my.



He-Haw

Man, I'm tickled pink!

Today the mailman delivered two envelopes from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Inside of each was a 'fan' letter to me that was mailed to the newspaper and then forwarded to my home. Unfortunately, I'd ripped open the first envelope thinking it was my check, then got so excited after reading the letter that I greedily tore open the second. That's a pity, because I would have liked to have preserved it for my future musuem. Ah well. :)

* * *

Bridgett - I read your comment on Scott's departure before having a chance to watch the recorded show. No matter - it was actually a better viewing experience, as I didn't have to sweat out the Anoop-Scott drama. As for his early departure, I think the top five *has* to be Adam, Danny, Allison, and Matt, with Kris or Anoop battling it out for the numero cinco. Long story short, whether he went home this week or next, the exit was coming soon.

* * *

Another reason I'm excited: for the first time in a few weeks the whole Slapinions family will have the opportunity to sit down and enjoy a real dinner together. That's odd that it's odd, as from the time of YaYa's birth on we ALWAYS shared dinner together, and 99% of the time, no matter the entree, fruits and vegetables were on the plate.

I don't think I've seen a vegetable that wasn't sliced and on top of a meat patty in a week. Some parts of working evenings SUCK.

My criteria tonight is firm: meat, starch, veggies, and a fruit. Oh man, I can't wait.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Mama Mia!



Yeah, I like ABBA. Sue me. I haven't had a chance to see the stage version of Mamma Mia! and was eager to watch the movie.

Simply put, it tells of Sophie's attempt to discover the identity of her father in the days before her wedding. The trouble is Donna, her Mom, (played by Meryl Streep) was very . . . adventurous one week twenty years ago, and there are three potential Daddy's. Each gets an invitation to attend the wedding and adventure ensues, while the music of ABBA develops the characters and moves the plot forward.

It's good to see the continuing (if small) revival of movie musicals (High School Musical, Enchanted, etc.) and I was pleasantly surprised, watching the subtitled version of the film, at how many of the lyrics are polished and literate.
I'm not sure if it's a flaw carried over from the stage version or not, but both Lisa and I felt the movie felt disjointed at times. There were some ludicrously naive plot points: the daughter who's sure she'll recognize her father on sight and that when she does "everything [in her life] will fall into place"; the fact that Donna seems unable to put two and two together, turning this into an elaborate episode of Three's Company; and Sophie's out of left field actions during the wedding.

Small complaints, all in all. My biggest problem with the film was that some people (cough Pierce Brosnan cough Meryl Streep cough) were hired for their name and not their voice. Pity that. Kudos to Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) for her great voice and natural beauty, both of which help elevate the film above the norm.

2.8 out of 4

American Idol 4/7

Once again I'm up too late because of this dang show. I'll try to keep it short.

* * * *

1. Danny - Ah, I wasn't bowled over. It was good but not great.

2. Kris - I like the guy a lot, but this did sound like souped up, jazzified elevator rock. Not good.

3. Lil' - Wow, she's really fallen off a cliff. So much talent gone to waste. I noticed her Tina-esque steps and knew it was over. Every week she promises to improve, and every week she sucks.

4. Anoop - It was fine, but a little bland. He'll stick around.

5. Scott - I thought it was OK, especially for a Scott performance, but the guitar was a joke. I also think he's a bit of a prick for how he reacts to the slightest criticism from the judges. But again, an OK night for him.


POLITICALLY INCORRECT STATEMENT OF THE WEEK
- I'm not the only one who's mentioned this, as I've heard it frequently out and about, but I'm guessing I'm the only yahoo brave enough to do it in print. Scott's eyes, for obvious reasons, fail to track like normal, and the Polar Express like phenomenon is highly unnerving.

Did I miss something? Has it become somehow insulting or demeaning for a blind or severely impaired person to wear sunglasses? Seriously, is this viewed as an insult now? And if so, someone better go out and tell Stevie Wonder. He was still wearing them when he was on the show, and I don't think there's a human being alive who doesn't respect the man.


6. Allyson - She rocked it. I don't think she'll win this competition, but she could have in at least two of AI's seasons, if not more.

7. Matt - Wow. Wow. Wow. I was blown away. This was a million times better than last week and the only, the ONLY song from tonight I'd enjoy listening to on the radio right now.

8. Adam - My DVR failed to record his performance, but thankfully it was present on the subsequent recording of Fringe from the next hour. It was good. Not standing ovation good, as Simon claimed, but very good. A little theatrical for my taste, but I'm starting to think the guy i going to wind up like David Bowie, with a specific if odd persona, style, and arrangements. Therefore I'm going to start judging him against his own standard, rather than as how he stacks up against the other performers. I'm not sure how he'd fly in the pop world, with the exception of an AI driven first album, but there's a niche he'll fill somewhere in the recording world.

* * * *

My bottom three: Lil, Kris, and Scott.

The real world bottom three is hard to pick, as mediocrity was the norm, bringing favorites down a peg: Lil, Kris, Anoop.

My guess is Lil goes home, and it'll be no loss.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Another Column of Mine will be in the Paper this week

After the publication of that snow column last week I wrote the editors and told them I'd gladly take any assignment they wanted to parcel out.

To my genuine suprise, they had me write a column on the departure of Milwaukee Archbishop Timothy Dolan, who'll be assuming the same office in New York on the 15h.

Barring an outright rejection by the editor, it should be in The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel this (Good)Friday.

Eight weeks between the first publication of mine and the second, five weeks between the second and the third . . and ten days between the third and fourth. Booyah!

I'm gonna miss this gig when it's over.

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Boring Life for Me

Lisa's up in Green Bay right now at a New Kids on the Block concert with some friends, which means I had to (gasp!) parent on my own for a night, shuffling the kids to and from school and dance class. The big test will be tomorrow morning. Lisa won't get in until the middle of the night, and will be out of commission for the morning prep-for-school rituals. And I am not a functioning human being at 6:30 A.M.

Speaking of the New Kids, they are embarking on another tour over the summer (or an extension of this one, take your pick) and you'll no doubt hear us yak about them again in the coming months.

BTW, their song Two in the Morning won a KISS Combat Challenge on the radio here. And it's 2009. Wow. Whodathunkit back in 1990?

* * * * *

True story: YaYa and I were dispatched by my Mom to pick up my father from a local church(not my own). When I asked for my Dad by name a woman got an odd look on her face, then came up and offered me her hand.

"I thought I recognized your picture from the paper, and that name is hard to forget. You were in the Journal a few days ago, weren't you? The article on snow. Oh, I thought that was dead on. I LOVED it. Are you writing anything else?" The woman wasn't 'meet the rock star' giddy, but she was reaching the 'meet the smooth jazz star' plateau.

I swear to you, I thought it was a candid camera moment and that my Dad set me up. But no, I guess she was legit. It was the only 'out of the blue' congrats, but I've had a few from people that vaguely know me (or of me), some of which had very sweet things to say.*

Huh.

Anyway, what's that old anecdote about Caesar having someone whisper 'fame is fleeting' in his ear? You could tell YaYa was proud, but she's old enough now to treat such feelings towards her parents as 'uncool'. Here's her official take on it: "I hope you don't think you're famous now. Cuz, uh, you're not."

:)

*Meanwhile a family member flat out said they didn't like it, and you know what? I appreciate their honesty.

* * * *

I burned my right ring finger last night cooking some Ramen noodles. I always do this idioticly macho 'shake it for a moment, swear, continue on as if nothing happened' routine when I burn myself. Most of the time I refuse to even run it under cold water, but this sucker hurt and blistered up. I all but teleported to the sink. Dang near ruined my viewing of the Match Game, it did.

Memo to college grad: don't grab a metal serving spoon if it's been laying on the hot stovetop for ten minutes.

* * * *

Monday, April 6, 2009

Smiley's Spring Concert

I wanted to post the only two pics I have of Smiley's performance at a concert at his school back in February.

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Lump, for the record, was an absolute doll during the performance. In this she takes after her brother, the undisputed king of patient theater-goers, and not her troublesome older sisters.

Smiley's 4th Birthday Party

Smiley had attended his cousin Caitlin's birthday party at a local bowling alley and fallen in love with the sport. So never mind that it seemed a poor fit for a 4 year olds party, the boy demanded it be an occasion for bowling.

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And so it was.

Fortunately his birthday fell on a Saturday, so the party took place on the special day itself. We invited all of the kids from his speech class (it is a sub-group of under 10 kids in a class of 37) Most of the kids showed up, among them all but one of the boys.

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For most of the kids it was difficult to get the ball down the alley, and more than once the lanes were clogged by balls that stopped dead on their way to the pins. Part of the problem was the venue; when Smiley had first bowled it was at a place that had ramps the kids could roll the ball down; not where we held the party.

So we wound up 'helping' most of the kids. Not Smiley. He refused help and did, indeed, manage to get the ball down the lane.

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Heck, my biggest concern wasn't the stuck balls - it was the danger to four year old fingers and toes!

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The party was two hours long and we were given two games per kid as part of the package, but there was no way we were going past ten frames. Uh-uh. (we did hand off the excess games to some of the parents as the party wrapped up). So after the first game we ate some pizza

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then fired up the ol' birthday candle and serenaded the Little Man

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Afterwards he opened his presents. Throughout most of this JayJay, a blonde girl from his class, sat alongside him.

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He appears to have a fondness for her (and blondes in general), a fondness that is returned in full. He gave her a big hug when he opened her gifts, although to be honest he is very affectionate in general and tried to hug everyone who gave him a gift.

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Here's some family pics from the party. (Note: Lump is off the bottle, but a Sippy Cup could not be located for the event)

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Man, was he pleased with his party, and so were we! May you have 110 more birthday parties like that Little Man. We love you!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

A list, some congrats, and a nasty howling wind

As I write this the wind is howling like mad outside my window, battering against the glass as if I were living in a moody Gothic novel set on a Scottish moor. It is easily the most aggressive windstorm I've experienced since moving into this house.

[We were 'supposed' to get up to six inches of snow Sunday, an amount then downgraded to two to four inches, and then to none as the storm never bothered to arrive. It's like the meteorologists are trying desperately to validate my tongue-in-cheek column, but I'll gladly thank the heavens for nixing the white stuff, thank you very much.]

There is beauty in most things on this Earth, and the wind is no exception. I was reading Smiley a book when I glanced up through his skylight. The bare tree branches were an impressive sight as they fought against the wind, a sight that took our attention off the pages for several minutes.

* * * *

Kudos to my father, who told me today that he'd re-enrolled at UW-Milwaukee in hopes of completing his degree. It's contingent on financial aid, but I'm very proud of him.

* * * *

YaYa is compiling a list of all the books she's ever read, mimicking my own efforts. For the sake of keeping the obsession alive, and because it was a school assignment for her, here are all the books we read to LuLu in March (or rather, all the books we could find when I set out to make the list):

Dora: The Windy Day by Quinlan B Lee
Lady Lovely Locks and the PixieTails: The Golden Ball by Harriet Marcelle
Five Little Monkeys Sitting in a Tree by Eileen Christelow
Walt Disney's Cinderella
Clifford's Puppy Day's: A Snowy Christmas by Quinlan B Lee
Dear Barbie: Too Many Puppies by Lisa Trusiani Parker
Disney's Beauty and the Beast - The Teapots Tale by Justine Korman
Disney's Enchanted: Before the Fall by Tennant Redbank
CareBears: What Makes you Happy? By JE Bright
Goodtimes Storybook Classic: Snow White by Carl Baldassarre
Barbie: Freckles by Mona Miller
Clifford's Spring Clean-Up by Norman Bridwell
Disney's The Little Mermad See/Hear/Read Book
Goodbye Geese by Nancy White Carlstrom


One and just in case I don't get around to a Smiley list: we read Rooftop Christmas tonight.

Happy Birthday Mom!



Before much more of the day slips away I want to go on record and wish my Mom a Happy 62nd Birthday. I hope you have many more Ma! We love you!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Where da Lump? There she is!

Or 'Ginger', as that nickname for her may just stick.

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A little bit of this and that

Smiley stole a lit incense stick of ours and strolled around the house waving it like a sparkler. Natually, I took it away the minute Lisa caught sight of him.

No big deal, but you'll have to remember that Smiley still deals with a very bad speech problem. Because of this he ran around in tears yelling "Me dick mama. Me dick. Dada 'ook me dick", and growing increasingly angry when we laughed.

Good thing we didn't take it away from him in a crowded mall, huh?

* * * *

April Fools to me: My DVR failed to record Lost while I was at work, citing a scheduling conflict between High School Reunion and Whatever, Matha. *&#@#$

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To all friends/family - my cell phone is on the fritz. Sprint is replacing it free of charge, but until Monday or Tuesday you'll have to reach me on the landline.

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Because Lisa and I both worked until late Friday evening, we found ourselves with the kids scattered among the grandparents and not one left at home. Hot dog! For the first time in years we hit the road and went out for dinner after midnight, winding up at Jalisco's ~1 a.m.

It was glorious. Not the food (which was good) but being out and about with no little booger-maker to slow us down. :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

This Week's American Idol

Curse my DVR. I have to stop staying up so late to watch this show, especially since it was mediocre at best last night. I feel miserable this morning.

So should 1. Anoop, who was fine vocally but looked awkward on stage. Usher? Are you serious? Lisa said it's a shame that people don't take him seriously because he's Indian, but I don't think that's it. There are a 1000 Bollywood stars who'd do fine in the role. Anoop however, just looks like the uptight computer guy in a college road trip movie, the guy who 'breaks loose' on stage once he's accidentally fed some pot brownies and hilarity ensues. Usher just doesn't work with his image. What's next, a Pussycat Dolls tune?

2. Megan - gag. The allure is gone, is it not? Go home.

3. Danny - I thought he did ok, but nowhere near as good as the judges thought. Could be just me, but I wasn't blown away.

4. Allison - I agree about the outfit. Awwwwfuuuullll. But her voice was strong and showed maturity in the quieter opening of the song. She should stay.

5. Scott - Enough America. To quote President Bush, there is such a thing as discrimination via 'the soft bigotry of low expectations'. If this guy had 20/20 vision he'd of hit the road long ago. His decision to bring out yet another piano ballad reinforces his limited range as an artist, and no, I don't think his vocals are that strong. Was it better than last week? You betcha. That . . doesn't say much. And for gosh sakes, why compliment his 'look'? His family should be all over the AI crew that works on him. He had John Parr (St. Elmo's Fire) hair - and it's not 1985 anymore people!



6. Matt - I love him, but I thought it was weak. The guy is searching for an artistic 'center', and sadly must do so in the public eye. He should stay, but I'm worried.

7. Lil - Her 'edge' wore smooth quickly, didn't it? Old fashioned in appearance and sound, Lil' is quickly slipping into the abyss. Pull it together or risk losing it all.

8. Adam - I dropped out of the Adam fan club after a brief 7 day membership. Wild Cherry is irrelevant and gimmicky today, and no matter how much you may have loved that ho-hum performance it would not fly on a record released in 2009. It just wouldn't. That's a fact. At least the Johnny Cash was edgy. He'll survive, but he's dropped a few pegs.

9. Kris - he rescued the night with a song so damn good it could make the airwaves right now. Excellent job! By far the best of the night.

* * *

Kara is, as the audience shouted out, a 'broken record'. Come up with something other than 'wrong song choice', ok?

* * * *

Who goes? Wow. It was so lackluster a week that many, many people could be on the edge. If it was up to me Megan, Scott, and Lil are on the hot seat (Lil just as a 'warning') with Megan going home.

America will probably put Megan, Matt, and Allison in the bottom three, with Megan getting the ax - but I'm worried about Matt.

Yikes.