Slapinions is Five Years Old!

Five years ago today this blog was born.

That was right after the 2004 election, and I'd spent many a month writing 600 word pieces and emailing them to friends and family (most of whom, I'm sure, deleted them unread). Then it dawned on me. I read a lot of blogs, I admired a lot of blogs, I enjoyed writing. Why the heck wasn't I blogging?

And so I did. There's not much more to say about the birth process, other than I give Lisa full credit for the blog's title, a combination of my last name and "opinions". Kudos on that hon.

A blink of an eye later and here we are,five years and 1468 published posts later. Five years - that's a respectable run for most marriages nowadays. Color me impressed.

Will Slapinions be around for a grand 10th celebration? I guess we'll just have to wait and see ;)

Oh, and to all those who've stopped by to say hello over the years, a sincere "Thank You". I could do it without you, but it wouldn't be half as fun.

Great TV

Just finished watching the Dr. Who episode "Turn Left". Great episode, wonderful character development, and a grand performance from Catherine Tate. Here endeth my dork status report for the night.

Beneath Still Waters

I'm told the movie version of this book was so gawd awful it isn't worth watching, even for laughs. If you've seen it, my apologies - but don't hold that against the book. It's actually a pretty strong effort by Mattew J Costello.

Fifty years ago the town of Gouldens Falls was submerged beneath a man made lake, sacrificed to a dam project that seemed to be very quickly conceived and carried out, almost as if there was something to hide in the town. Now, as the anniversary of the dam approaches the town is beginning to stir, and from the depths an evil once contained has risen to claim its place among us.

It's a pretty darn good book, full of suspense and a few genuine scares. There's good characterization, a decent plot, and a sturdy if pedestrian writing style.

Well done.

2.9 out of 4

LuLu sings a Jonas Brothers song

Ah, listening to Jonas Brothers sing "I fell in love with a pizza girl, now I eat pizza, now I eat pizza, now I eat pizza everyday" while LuLu sings along perfectly, note for note.

YaYa's 3rd Grade Photo - fall 2009

My Mom was hospitalized today. Any extra prayers would be appreciated.

What's Wrong with the Office?

Is it just me, or is Pam on the Office really annoying since she got engaged (now married)? The character seems off this season. I get the sense the writers are a bit unsure of how to handle her now that Jim/Pam is resolved.

Smiley's in the Paper!!!!

Suprise of the day: Smiley's beaming face is featured in a local weekly paper. We had no idea and were about to toss it out when the photo caught Lisa's eye. How bout that?

The Bay View Compass. He's seen being read to in school.

Nothing to Look Forward To

Heading off to bed. Lu had two teeth pulled yest evening, so I'm sure this morning will be a happy, joyous parenting experience.

Tone it Down

Jeez, Peter Gammons. I love me some Yankees, but your man-love for Jeter and Mo is almost . . . uncomfortable. Tone it down a bit. No need to recite a sonnet about them everytime the microphone is passed your way.

Yankees Championship, Pt. XXVII

Eight years ago, as my wife was in labor with our first child, I watched a Yankees game in the delivery room. She's never forgotten or forgiven me, but it was, in fairness, the playoffs.

A week later, with my wife still on bed rest, I held the newborn YaYa in my arms as I screamed with joy at a Yankee comeback in the World Series. I have video of it, actually.

Two years later, the Yanks lost the Series to the Marlins on the day I was out celebrating my wedding annivesary. It still gnaws at me.

A year later I took my Dad on a road trip to catch the Yankees in Chicago.

The season after that, I took my infant son to his first ball game - the Yankees game where Arod hit his 399th and 400th home runs. I blogged about it here.

I love me some Yankees. Why? Because they win. Seriously. They are determined, almost to a fault, to succeed each and every season for nearly a century. I admire that, and I adore many of the names that made them winners: Ruth, Gehrig, Joe D, Mantle, Berra, Bernie, Jeter, Mo, Arod. They are, unabashedly and without pause, committed to their traditions, and to their own greatness. They are a microcosm of the American ideal.

And now, finally, they're back where they belong: on top o' the world.

Congrats guys! What a team, what an effort, what a great World Series!

27 rings! Whoo-hoo!



UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to congratulate the Philadelphia Phillies on playing a hard fought, tense World Series. I mean that - they're a hell of a team, and there weren't many moments where I wasn't sweating bullets. They'll be in the post-season again, count on it.

I've Noticed

A disproportionate number of 'Caillou' episodes seem to center around losing and searching for Gilbert, their cat. Just ck out the one playing on Sprout right now. It's like a children's program spawned from Danny phobias.

My Public Reading of "A Shadow of a Distant Life" at the St. Francis Library

I had another column in the Journal-Sentinel today, and I must apologize if you wasted three precious quarters on it. You should have let your kids raid the gumball machine instead. It was alright prose but I thought it was empty of soul and sincerity. This isn't false modesty or low self-esteem, just an honest opinion. So again, my bad. I'll do better next time.

On the other end of the spectrum we have that fiction writing contest held by a local suburb. No, I didn't win the contest. But, the judge said, my story had developed a little following, one that argued in its favor so strongly that the winner was decided by a hair. With that in mind, she asked if I'd attend the program and give a public reading of my work.

I said "Sure", but I was officially trying to squirm my way out of it as late as this afternoon. Oh, in my heart I knew I was going to go through with it - why else would I have shaved and changed my skivvies on a day off? - but the idea of standing in front of eighty people and reading a complete short story terrified me.

All the more reason to do it, of course. So at 6:30 Tuesday night YaYa and I traveled to St. Francis Public Library's meeting hall.



After the winners of the juvenile brackets read their work, the judge called me up front. She gave the audience the same explanation she'd given me (my first confirmation it wasn't all flattering b.s.), pronounced my name right (which always shocks me) and I got down to business.

"It's fitting that this was a horror story contest," I told the audience, "Because right now I'm terrified just standing here."



I am not a great speaker, but I have improved with time and practice. I enunciated, I stressed this and paused after that, and from time to time I looked up and made sure to make eye contact with the audience - and all the while my hands were shaking. And then, after five minutes or so, I was done.



"Wow," some people in the audience said - a top 100 Danny moment for sure - and then I got a round of applause. The M.C. returned to the mike "I think I heard some 'wows' out there, didn't I?" she said. "Thank you very much."



I returned to my seat next to a beaming YaYa and listened to the rest of the program, which included a presentation by ghost researcher and author Chad Lewis.

[Oh, by the way: I think my story was better, but the winner was a heck of a public speaker/reader. Tip o' the hat to him for that. I've got a lot to learn.]

After the program a few pats on the back, some compliments, a thank you from me to the judges, and we were on our way back home.

It was a good evening. A really good evening.

Ginger's first playgroup!

I've got a big post on the way, but I wanted to sneak this one in.

Today Lisa took Ginger to her first ever weekly playgroup at the local community center. It's kind of sad that it's taken us this long to get her in one, since her brother and sisters were hard core playgroup fanatics by her age.

But hey, some perspective: the kid smears her poop on her face and digs it. Excuse us for not taking her out in public. I kid, I kid!





Note the puppy shirt, which is an iconic hand me down from YaYa, but best remembered from one of LuLu's professional photos of years past.





I was at home waiting for Smiley's school bus during the playgroup, but Lisa reports Ginger was pretty well behaved and had a blast.

LuLu's 1st Grade Photo - Sept 2009

Zoinks

I'm watching the absurd hatchet job Nightline is trying to pull off . . . Lisa is literally laughing on the couch. Be biased, oh mainstream media -  you all are - but for God's sake, at least pretend to have taken a journalism class. Geesh.

Gross

Uh, Brett: maybe you could stop blowing your snot on the field everytime the camera pans to you. Hillbilly.

Push

I wasn't expecting a whole lot when I rented this movie. I was just looking for a mindless "boy movie", one that didn't feature crying women or cancer stricken puppies. Mission accomplished. (I think some of the women still shed tears, but whatever).

What threw me for a loop was how much I enjoyed it.

Modern day Hong Kong has become a secret Mecca for displaced mutants. Some have the ability to move objects with their minds, some can see the future, and some can 'sniff' out their own kind. All all hunted by a secret U.S. agency, but the tables are turning: a mutant has escaped the agency and fled to join a ragtag group of her own kind. She may be the secret to guaranteeing all their freedom, but the agency wants her back - at all costs.

No, this ain't Casablanca, but the setting is wonderful, the characters are interesting and work well together, and there's a decent amount of suspense in the plot.

I don't like that it leaves the door WIDE open for a sequel (I hate when movies do that), and the movie never explains why these mutants haven't dominated the world. I mean literally dominate the world and establish their own empire over the course of history. Who could have stopped them?

Anyhow, a good flick.

3.0 out of 4.

Thinking out loud

Last month you might remember that I wrote a horror story and submitted it to a local contest. Since the public reading for the winners is scheduled for November 3rd, I'd realistically decided I'd lost. No biggee - try and try again.

But I just called and asked for the lineup for the event and was told it wasn't public knowledge, that the winners would be notified at the ceremony itself and asked to read their work. No entrant has been invited, it's just hoped they'll attend.

That's nuts.

First of all, the events capacity is capped at 80 people, and there's already a waiting list. Second, theres a minimum age limit, which means none of my kids could attend. Third, what if I win but I'm not there (since I'm on the wait list)? Heck, what if Jane Doe wins and she's not present? Do we just not have a reading and a program and slowly leave the room? And do I want to sit through two hours of mush just to hear my name not called?

Goofy. Anyhow, I was about to post the entry here, but I'll hold the story pending the official announcement of a winner.

The Great Pope/Halloween Hoax of 2009

Note: Religious and Cultural Commentary

I couldn't possibly imagine, just a few days ago, writing a serious commentary about the Halloween holiday. It is what it is, is it not? Kids dressing up in tacky costumes, begging candy from their neighbors while adults decorate their house like carnival scare houses.

But Friday there was quite the barrage of misleading, anti-Catholic articles that hit the front (online) pages of major news services. All reported on an alleged announcement from the Vatican that Halloween was evil and to be avoided.

USA Today: Vatican warns parents that Halloween is 'anti-Christian'

UK Telegraph: Vatican condemns Halloween as 'anti-Christian'

Daily Mail: Halloween is 'dangerous' says the Pope as he slams 'anti-Christian' festival

London Times: Hallowe’en is the devil’s work, Catholic church warns parents

Each of these articles is followed by public comments that are clearly anti-Catholic, although as I follow the links again much of the early, bigoted rhetoric seems to have been removed or pushed aside.

So are the reports true? In shorthand: Bull - and not the papal kind either.

First of all, the Pope has diddly-squat to do with the issue, and including his title in the headline would appear to be a cheap stab at generating hits (and so it did).

Second, the Vatican's official newspaper L'Osservatore Romano may or may not have a stand on the issue, but in fact, as noted FOUR paragraphs into the Telegraph story, it was actually an article discussing European opposition to the American holiday. It was not a grand and official announcement of anything.

Specifically, the article quoted a Spanish priest; not a Bishop, as reported, but a priest present at a conference of Bishops. Disturbed by the new popularity of an American custom, he offered the opinion that if such a holiday was to be honored it should be done as an affirmation of life rather than a celebration of death. Good luck pulling that off, but hey, he has the right to dream.

So, to summarize: a priest in Spain talks to a reporter about his opposition to an American custom crossing the pond. The Vatican's newspaper quotes him in an article about European opposition to Halloween (which, lets face it, is probably a cultural objection, ala Euro Disney). This is then reported by English newspapers as an official Vatican announcement. It is embellished to get as much value out of anti-Catholic feeling as possible, which is when American papers catch the scent of blood and latch on.

Think I'm exaggerating? Then check out the opening paragraphs of the Daily Mail's wonderfully even keel report:

When Victoria Romero, 6, dressed up as a witch for a Hallowe’en party this week she could hardly have imagined that she was provoking the wrath of God by attending a celebration akin to a Black Mass — at least in the eyes of the Vatican and the Roman Catholic Church in Spain.

Wearing skeleton suits, dressing up as vampires, witches or goblins or slapping on fake blood is not far removed from communing with the Devil, according to the country’s bishops.

However, the bishops, with Vatican backing, have reserved their venom for the millions of parents who allowed their children to celebrate this “pagan” festival.

For the record, I'm Catholic, and decently serious about it. Yet in 35 years of Catholic school, church, youth groups, PTA, Scouting, etc, I've never once heard of an official Catholic objection to Halloween. Even if you want to argue it promotes the occult, I'd counter by saying it marginalizes and weakens it, doing to that belief what Santa does to Christmas.

It is quite possible that from a distance, European eyes see the practice as a morbid and decadent holiday. It is possible the Vatican will, someday, make an official announcement about the practice. I can't speak for what it will say - but I'm pretty sure it won't come via a Spanish priest quoted secondhand in a British newspaper.

It is stunning to discover that 49 years after JFK lost votes because of his religion, and half a millennium after Luther, institutional anti-Catholic bias is still entrenched. Disgusting - would Judaism or Islam be treated the same in the press, or would there be a damning outcry?


h/t The Catholic Key Blog

Happy Halloween!

Good spooking and safe trick or treating to all!

Many posts about this holiday will follow in the weeks to come, but for now I thought I'd write about the snack Lisa made for each of the kids classrooms (and the Daisy Scouts meeting too!). Just in case you need a last minute treat, this is simple, quick, and relatively cheap (~$13 for fifty or so handmade ghosts)

Just take some Nutter-Butters cookies, dip them in white chocolate, and add mini-chocolate chips for eyes. Oila! Cookie Ghosts.



On the first go-round the store was out of Nutter-Butters, so we substituted a different cookie (seen in these pictures). I'd say it didn't hold the chocolate half as well as the NB, nor look (or taste!) as appealing, but you get the drift. Either way, the kids loved them.



Happy Halloween!

Locke and Key

Locke and Key is a graphic novel written by Joe Hill, the son of Stephen King and a fine author in his own right.

The Locke family relocates across the country after the murder of the husband/father, taking up residence in his childhood home on Lovecraft Island.

(Lovecraft Island? How's that for a glaring "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!").

The family is in tatters, with the Mom turning to alcohol, the oldest son wracked with guilt, and the youngest striking up a conversation with a mysterious voice in a well.

Soon it becomes obvious that now all is what it seems, and that the evil that took their loved one might have began the game, years ago, in that very home.

Worse yet, the same killers who struck down the Dad have the answered evil's call again, and are about to pay the Locke family a very special visit.

I liked it. The characters had depth and their grieving felt real, and the story was well told. I think the material would have been much better off as straight prose, as I don't think the graphic aspect of it does anything of consequence to further the readers enjoyment.

But frankly, aside from the ending that screamed "Sequel!" I have very little to complain about.

3.0 out of 4

I'm Guilty of This

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."- Bertrand Russell

A Reminder

Reminder: if you are setting your DVR to record Kate Gosselin's much anticipated interview w/ Natalie Morales, it's on Monday under the title "Kate: Her Story" *not* "Jon and Kate Plus Eight"

Tonight on Conan

Alice in Chains will be performing "Check My Brain" on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien tonight. .