My latest column will appear in tomorrow's Journal-Sentinel. I'll post this again later just to be obnoxious, but you've been warned - buy one!

An argument with YaYa

YaYa and I had an argument this afternoon that matched one I had with my parents almost thirty years ago. Subject matter, volume, regrettable angry statements, you name it - it was eerily word for word at points. Afterwards she lost the glasses she's had for ONE day (found them later). We're good now but man. That was depressing. On the plus side, the column I wrote this morning was accepted by the Journal.

A rare flaw of mine

The word I can never, ever seem to spell correctly without spellcheck: convenient

TV Night

Lisa watched today's Oprah on the DVR. In one segment a woman was happy to say she'd signed Oprah's ridiculous "contract" to ban cell phone use in a car (even w/ hands-free sets). How did the viewer break her 'habit'? Why, by cranking up the volume on her radio to eleven and singing along as she drove. Because THAT isn't more distracting than carrying on a conversation.

AI was surprisingly good, wasn't it? From what we saw (we missed Mike's song) the weakest performance was Bowersox, and she wasn't 'bad' at all. There may yet be hope this season. OTOH, DWTS minus Kate just wasn't worth it. We fast forward-ed (sp?) it this week. Sigh. Maybe if Edyta was still on the show . .

Productive day off so far. Wrote & submitted a piece to the Journal, spent some time w/ Lisa, took Junie w/ me to Home Depot, just got done patching some cracks in our sidewalk and . . .well, sh**, I don't know the construction vocab: redoing a 3x3 square of 100 year old concrete that had cracked and caved in. Now, pending a disaster in the drying process, it looks as good as new. [fingers crossed]

Sometimes they just wear you out

Ok....that's it, they are getting naps. I. am. so. done. - Lisa

Quite Right Doctor

"It's always a big day tomorrow. We've got a time machine. I skip the little ones." - Matt Smith's Doctor

Charles Nelson Reilly ate his own weight in coal and excreted diamonds everyday. True Fact.

My love of The Match Game is well documented; less so is my admiration for the man who entertained America from the top row/stage left for most of the show's run. I speak, of course, of Charles Nelson Reilly.


Well, it turns out that Weird Al Yankovic released a song paying tribute to The Match Game superstar. Here, in a parody of the White Stripes, is 'CNR'.




Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you'd never disrespect
He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck
He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday
He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway
Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway

Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane
He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died
Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride
Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene

Ninja warrior, master of disguise
He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah
Oh yeah
He had his own line at the DMV
He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya

Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul
I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole
He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star
You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape
But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR
No, no, no
Talkin' about CNR

My Day

In retrospect, the day seem like a waste. After a morning spent on the NFL draft I dropped Lu off at a bday party, bought some soda, then returned home to watch a) Bucks-Hawks b)Lakers-Thunder c) bits of STL-SF (MLB) and d) an all-new Doctor Who. YaYa did watch Dr. Who w/ me, so I suppose that counts as 'bonding'. That salvages part of the day, right?

A Suggestion for the Nook

Since the Nook has a built in MP3 player and access to Barnes & Noble's inventory, here's a little idea. Wouldn't it make a whole heapin' helping of sense for a user to be able to purchase and download music or whole albums to their Nook?

Just a Bully by G & M Meyer

I read Smiley "Just a Bully" ( G & M Meyer). I expected the PC "Boy is bullied, he stands up to him, Bully is Exposed as Coward & Backs Down". Nuh-uh. He FIGHTS him, wins, becomes a cool kid, & the bully becomes a target himself. More realistic, but yowsas, is that always a good thing? While you're at it, for 'realism' why not have him knock up his girl & get a job under the table to avoid paying child support? Jeesh.

TMZ

I forget who said this, but I believe it re: the wonderful writers at TMZ or Popeater. I was enamored enough of the quote to save it in an email for the last two months: "They are notorious s**t-stirrers who create drama by sandwiching unexceptionable quotations between [their] own conjecture and 'interpretation'.

Fashion Week

This past Fashion Week was the last time the iconic event will be held at Bryant Park. In spite of the fact that Bryant Park has been responsible for branding New York as "the Fashion Capital of the World," the NYC Parks Commissioner wants them OUT. His office maintains that Bryant Park is a public space, yet Fashion Week is an "invitation only" (i.e., private) event. What crap. Buzzkills abound in the world.

A few words from Lisa about our Smiley

Thinking about change after this email exchange, I asked him this morning to get together all his coins...from all his secret hiding places. He came up with $2.14. Thinking about change after this email exchange, I asked him this morning to get together all his coins...from all his secret hiding places. He came up with $2.14. Impressive considering there were only 2 quarters in the mix!
I was just cleaning out my email-box when I came across a copy of an email exchange between Lisa and Smiley's teacher (Mrs. Heidi) on Jan 22nd of this year. I thought it was cute enough to warrant being recorded here. Lisa wrote:


I took him to the dollar store to buy 2 things with his OWN (we use this term lightly) money. He was so happy and cute getting his money out, and I'm sure the cashier and line behind me were thrilled as well, lol. He picked a grab bag (always a wise choice) and another grow animal cage thing. His obsession with those has pretty much come to a close so that pick was a surprise. The dollar store treasures that didn't make the cut? Dinosaur wallpaper cut outs for his room, a reed diffuser to make his "ooom mell niiiice", and glow sword.

Kicker cute moment was when a little girl in a cart on our way out said "caaaandy!" to her mom, and Smiely pulled a piece of his own newly acquired stash out and handed it over to the cutie. She smiled big, but I think Smiley smiled bigger. He's just such a good boy!!!! I can say that to you, cause you know, lol....others would think I was just bragging, lol...

Later, have a good extended weekend! Lisa

Later that week I recorded a few of Smiley's words in an email of my own. After seeing either Washington or Lincoln on the TV, he turned to me and said "He on money, weal money."

This past Friday was our last parent-teacher conference of the year for him, and the reports were glowing. He's made real progress on his speech, and while they pointed out a few areas he's behind academically because of the problem, Mrs. Heidi also said he was a very sharp, intelligent boy. What I noticed during that meeting was the carefree and ever-present smile on his face. His nickname truly is spot-on, and Mrs. Nancy, one of the assistant teachers, agreed with my assessment and added that his 'deep dimples' only added to his charm :)

A Mediocre but pleasant Day

I had big plans in the yard for this day off, but it's been rainy and dreary all day. Lisa took LuLu hiking with the Daisy scouts, Yaya is camping w/ the Brownies, Smiley is w/ Grandma, and Junie was content with having the 2nd floor to herself. So I've spent *hours* watching the NFL Draft and finishing 'God's Spy', a novel by Juan Gomez-Jurado. Not the morning I had planned, but I'll take it.

Quote of the Day

"We have to believe in free will. We have no choice." - Isaac Bashevis Singer

Smiley can communicate, speech or not

Park hooked his hands like a cat on the prowl & said "Claws it" over & over. He then started grabbing his, er, junk, still saying 'Claws' & pointing at the TV. 'Go pee," I said. "No!," he said, "Claws it 'en pee." "Pause the TV?" I said. "Yeesssss!" he said, & ran to the john. He gets his point across somehow/someway. He may not be able to speak well, but he apparently has the rhyming thing down pat.

Project Runway Season 7 Finale

 Congrats to Seth Aaron Henderson on winning season 7 of Project Runway! It was a well deserved win, as he presented a really unique, eye-catching collection. A fitting end to a good season - certainly better year than that LA monstrosity aka Season 6.

The NFL Draft

With the 23rd selection in the 2010 NFL Draft, the Packers have selected OT Bryan Bulaga, Iowa

My Thoughts

If you ask someone why their cause is important, why does it matter *to me, to us, to the world* and they begin by saying "Well, uh, it's a microcosm for. . ." I call bullsh*t. If you can't string together 20 words to justify your belief in X or Y or Z, shut up and go home.

Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk

Just finished the novel 'Snuff' by Chuck Palahniuk, the author of 'Fight Club'. I'll spare you most of the details and just say its about an attempt to film the world's largest gangbang, w/ a paternity issue thrown in for good measure. It was entertaining, although after awhile the subject matter begins to wear on you. I did guess the 'twist' of identity at the end, so points to me.

Fireworks at the dinner table. Grace sassing Lisa, Olivia taunting Grace, Parker refusing to try his food, Lauren wandering off and shedding her clothes for no reason. For the first time ever we sent the kids to bed without supper - each and every one of the ungrateful little mooches. By 6:15 they were in bed for the night.

Tuesday's frightfully dull AI went over-time and screwed up America's DVR's, so . . drumroll . . Fox has announced the epic Madonna episode of GLEE will be repeated this Friday at 9/8c for all those who may have missed the ending (me!). Hot dog!

Argh. Just got a jury summons

Emails from an A**hole

If you want a good laugh, pick up "Emails from an A**hole" by John Lindsay. I made the mistake of reading this at work and laughed until I damn near pis**d my pants. Ah, who are we kidding? I did tinkle. But just a little bit. You could barely even tell. I hope