I have a column in tomorrow (Wed's) Journal-Sentinel. Stop by Jsonline to comment or buy a paper. Thanks!

On Michelle Obama

Tonight, after work, while watching the Amazing Race with the kids, a PSA with Michelle Obama came on.

Me: I know you're going to think this is because her last name is Obama, but it's not; I don't see how people think she's so attractive. I mean, not that it matters what she looks like, but I think her face is very sharp and angry looking. I just don't get it.

Lulu: Oh, I know! Me too! But no one ever says it! And you know I don't care if she's a Democrat or whatever, so it's not that. I always thought she looked kinda like a hawk. Like, you know, she's pretttyy, but only if you look real fast. But if you keep looking, she looks mean.

edit from 2022: I wouldn't have posted this now. It just seems a little pointless and mean spirited. Not that I'm not still pointless and mean spirited, but publicly? No...

LuLu and GusGus

 

Mrs God by Peter Straub

I also finished reading Peter Straub's "Mrs. God", a ghost story set in the English countryside. While I 'got' the gist of the book, the last few pages left me scratching my head. Since it's clear the author meant the dénouement to make you gasp with delight, either I missed something or he got it wrong. Since I'm the schmuck that would be forking out the dough, I vote for "he got it wrong". C+/B-

Caligula by Aloys Winterling

I've finished reading "Caligula" by Aloys Winterling, an upcoming bio of the Roman emperor. It argues that, contrary to parochial belief, Caligula was neither insane nor, for that matter, all that wrong in what he did. I tend to agree. Look at his actions objectively in the context of his era, and you'll find an Emperor who was pretty good at what he did (and popular with the masses). It was the aristocracy that he treated with contempt, and of course its the aristocracy who lived to tell the tale of his life. Stylistically, not the greatest, so I rate this only a B+ for history fans.

Hitchers by Will McIntosh

 I've finished reading "Hitchers" by Will McIntosh. It begins with a terrorist attack that kills half a million in Atlanta, but oddly that plays almost no part in the bk; saying it does would be like saying a bk that starts w/ a rainstorm is all about meteorology. Finn is a 30'something on the rise when he becomes possessed by the voice, then the personality, of his gruff, abusive - and quite dead - grandfather. Soon the phenomenon becomes widespread, and Finn must scramble to find a way to close the 'hole' to the afterlife before the dead consume the living. If you can tolerate a brief foray into New-Agey philosophy, it's quite and intelligent novel. A-

Atrocious

The other night I watched the Spanish language film "Atrocious". When a family is brutally murdered in the Spanish countryside, the police (and viewer) examines 37 hours of "found" footage left behind by the victims. It's a ho-hum horror film with a few scares, but you're often left wondering why they don't just drop the camera and run already. Still, the end was a nice (if small) twist. C.

Jack and Jill

It's a travesty that the Academy Awards don't give proper weight to a performance in a comedy. You want proof? Al Pacino in Adam Sandler's "Jack and Jill". He was GREAT, and if it's possible he climbed up a few notches on my 'best of' list. He deserved a supporting actor nomination. BTW, the movie itself was surprisingly funny. Given Pacino's performance, and the LOL's w/ Sandler, I rate it an A.

 

 Junie accidentally spilled a glass of chocolate milk in my shoes the other day. Despite cleaning them, I'm afraid they will forever carry the faint odor of spoiled milk.

A New Cat for Team Slap

Tonight I took the kids to pick out a cat from the Humane Society.

Idiotically, I took them along and so suffered through two plus hours of misery w/ Junie and Smiley, while LuLu was cool and YaYa was very helpful.

The cat we wanted was adopted out. We chose another but he was too eager to flee and would prob drive me nuts worrying about his whereabouts. We settled on a 4yr old male short haired cat named Flock(!) who has lost the sight in one eye due to glaucoma or cataracts (I forget which).

Anyhow, he seems to get along with Angel, which was our main concern, and he's a loving and spry cat. LuLu wanted to change his name to David, but I told her to reserve that for her future son. We may go w/ the name of the cat we originally wanted: Gus-Gus.

All reactio

A Lost Boy in our Yard

Yest evening I came home and found an 18 month old boy playing in the yard, enjoying my kids toys. There are no kids on my block, or across the alley, so we had no idea where he came from. I set out to see if there was a search party out while the kids and Lisa enjoyed his company. After 20 min we called the police. Just before they showed up (10 or 15 min later) the boys Grandma came down the alley calling his name. Apparently she was babysitting and he wandered out of the yard. He must have seen our toys and decided it was as good a rest stop as any. In the end we let the boy take Junie's old pushcar and a toy lawnmower with him.

 Happy 7th (golden) birthday Smiley! May you have 100 more! We love you buddy!

100 Years of Oreo

 Today is the 100th birthday of Oreo cookies. All hail!

Success

 A successful Tiger meeting today, with the kids doing color wheels and magic tricks. I had a third project ready, but we ran out of time - always a good sign.

2 Movies

Two films last night before retiring by 11. 'Beneath the Darkness' a 'thriller' (yawner) starring Dennis Quaid, who seemed to either be off his game or so nauseated by the script he decided to ham it up. We didn't even finish it. Then on to "Shut up Little Man" a documentary about the audio recordings two guys made of their argumentative and violent alcoholics. I don't see the appeal of the tapes, but the documentary was entertaining, if a little prone to reading to much 'art' into the candid vulgarity. B.

Smiley's Birthday!

We just got back from Smiley's 7th birthday party! We held it at LIGHTSPEED, a go-cart and Lazer Tag center that occupies the former Allied Pools building at Coldspring & 27th. It's a brand new business that opened on the 1st, and the kids had a blast. We played two games of LazerTag, had a party room to ourselves, and had a free go-gart ride for Smiley. They need to organize themselves better, but again this is a mere four days after they opened. Lu's already talking about having her bday party there in June. Stop in and take a look.

What Can I Say?

Lisa, on my status update about the exam: I would've hated you if we'd gone to school together. Who refuses to use the book during an open book test? I'd have stolen your lunch money. Seriously, who does that? 

LuLu:  (looking confused): I have

YaYa: Yeah, me too. 

LuLu (bewildered): Uh, if you know the answers, why do you need to look in the book? It just takes longer that way. 

(silence in the car) Lisa, to me: Your kids suck.

Three Movies

3 movie marathon w/ Entourage last night, and I'm afraid they were all mediocre. 

"Dream House" with Daniel Craig: I guessed the big twist a few scenes in, and while it still had a ways to go after the reveal, it was never very special. 

C. "The Thing" - like the first two versions, only with a lot of CGI that ruins the suspense and adds needless gore. 

C. "Hugo" - it was fine, but the story never moved me and the look was too Polar Express. Plus Sasha Cohen sux. B/B-

Junie on the Phone

Today being my sister Katie's birthday, I had the kids call and wish her well. Before we put Lauren on the phone LuLu warned her that she'll talk forever. 

Most people assume we're being cute or exaggerating when we say that, but Junie will talk non-stop FOR AN HOUR OR MORE if you do not intervene. I have personally taken a 45 min car ride with her and never had a moment to interject a word. Not a word. I'm not sure she even breathes during her monologues. 

Anyhow, according to my phone my sister lasted 9 min 42 sec listening to Junie ramble, then surrendered and hung up. No matter; Junie continued to speak into the dead phone for another ten minutes before she noticed. {shakes head}

Angelmaker by Nick Hardaway

Tonight I finished an e-ARC of "Anglemaker" by Nick Hardaway [publication date 3/20/12].

It's the story of Joe Spork, the son of an infamous but beloved gangster, who tries to live a good and peaceful life as a clock maker. Unfortunately, his family's past includes the construction of a doomsday device centered around mechanical bees, and things begin to go poorly for our hero.

It's a "modern world collides with secret steampunk" set in London, and features a 90 yr old female super spy, mysterious monks made out of metal, and a dastardly villain worthy of a movie serial, the horrid Opium Khan.

It's a rollicking adventure, but Hardaway will have to tighten up the construction a wee bit before he earns an A from me: B/B+

 Our lights went out twice in this snowstorm.

 Folks, I guess my status updates have given the impression I'm worried about the job, or intimidated by the casualty rate among the new-hires. Not so. I'm doing fine. It just boggles my mind that 7 people have been cut out of such a small group. I didn't expect that. That's all. But thanks for the well wishes anyway

Warning: Obnoxious smarty pants bragging ahead. Not only did I score only one wrong on the final (on a subjective question I still believe I got right), but I was also the first one done in the class. Oh, did I mention it was an open book/notes test, and yet I refused to use either? Holla.

Another trainee is gone, leaving 12 of the 19 to take the final training exam tomorrow.

Archer - Season Two

I finished season two of Archer on Netflix. Lisa doesn't dig it, calling it 'vulgar', but I think it's one of the funniest, best written shows out there. The episode where Archer goes on a rampage against the Irish mob ("The Placebo Effect" was wicked good, btw. A.