The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

When I was a kid I consumed - there's no better word for it - the 'Illustrated Classics'  edition of every classic novel you can think of; ok, maybe not Tropic of Cancer. They weren't the hardcover version you see above, but stout little paperbacks that fit in your hand. On the left hand page, text; on the right side, a full page illustration.

They did a marvelous job of introducing me to literature and the construction of plot and character, but on the down side, given my published aversion to re-reading a book, I found it unnecessary to slog through 600 pages of the (actual)The Count of Monte Cristo to find out  - again - that he gets his revenge.

Cue 2012, when I sat down, NOOK in hand, to finally read the full version of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

The verdict? Eh.

Look, I hate writing this because who gets brownie points for saying they don't like a masterpiece? Might as well say the Sistene Chapel's a doodle of monkey dung, no?

But . . .

I thought there was no coherent plot, just a jumble of loosely tied events. The novel seemed more a collection of anecdotes and sketches than a 'book'.  I thought there were abrupt and jarring divides between material aimed at a young audience and that fit for adults. Worst of all, Twain (at that point in his career) seems to have no grasp on how to establish tension, or keep the reader at the edge of their seat. The characters emerge unscathed, then calmly sit down and tell you how they managed to get out of trouble. You never 'see' the action, and the reader is the worse for it. I mean, really now - the villain dies 'off camera'. Really???

After I worked out those points I poked around a little and discovered my complaints weren't unique. Certainly Twain improved over time (dramatically, I hope) but even if he didn't, the story itself and his talent for dissecting an event and coming to the heart of it were strong even at that point.

My honest grade, independent of its importance to literature: C+

Junie Enjoys a Cookie at Landmark!

The girls driving around Home Depot

A Childhood Favorite

Smiley and Junie at the Park

Smiley is not so smiley today . . .

Smiley  has an abscessed tooth. It's his upper front tooth, the one that's been that's been discolored for most of his life due to a fall as a toddler. In a way it's a good thing it's on the way out because lately at school the dinkledorfs who pass for other people's children have begun to tease him about its appearance.

Anyhow, today he woke up in misery. He'd been nursing a headache, chills, nausea and lethargy since Monday, but we'd chalked that up to a flu bug that knocked LuLu out last week.

Given the urgency of the situation,  Lisa tried to get him into the dentist but Dr. X's office refused to see him because we'd 'missed' his last appointment - meaning the day my sitter crashed my van taking the kids to his office, in a vain attempt to keep the appointment we'd been forced to make at the end of 2011 for the 'earliest available date'. Per the doc and his receptionist, my kids were now persona non grata and no longer his patients.

Lisa tried to reason w/ the receptionist and failed, so he wound up in the ER instead. He had  fever of 101 and was given Tylenol and antibiotics. Meanwhile at work I used my break to call the dentist. Ten minutes later I had an appointment lined up for Tuesday morning, by which time the antibiotics will have brought the infection in check.

Lisa was happy with my result but royally P.O'd about who got the result, calling it a clear example of gender bias. I am not sure I agree, at least as she defines the issue. I do not think I automatically earned more respect (in this situation) because I'm a man, but I do think that had push come to shovel they would much rather have dealt with an angry Mom than a similarly irate (very large) man.

But -

I wasn't there in person, and I never raised my voice or did anything other than firmly but kindly plead my case. In this case - and perhaps it is only in this case - I don't think my gender had anything to do with the result. Instead, I think this can be chalked up to the fact that I can be a very persuasive, very disarming guy when I need to be, and with Smiley's health on the line this was a time when I 'needed to be'.

Besides, a bit of a damned if you do/damned if you don't, when you think about it. Lisa's all about admiring masculinity and the archetypal father figure, but when you fit that image you get blasted.

Ech. Life. :)

Just saw the 4 minute preview of "The Amazing Spiderman" during 'America's Got Talent'. It looks wicked good, with a Spidey that doesn't look like a dough-faced little boy (aka Tobey howyouspell Mcquire?) and some of his ol' fashioned banter on display. I LOL'd at the "ooooo, you found my weakness - little knives" line. A family trip to the movies on July 4th, ala last Christmas??

Gasp! The rare moment when I'm not happy with a Yankee milestone. Today Derek Jeter passed Robin Yount on the all-time hit list with #3,143. 🙁

This morning I heard Nirvana's "All Apologies" playing on a classic rock station here in Milwaukee. I am flattered that the music of my youth is now recognized as some of the best music of all time. I am also deeply disturbed that that the music of my youth is now old enough to share radio time with the Stones and T-Rex. Ugh.

LuLu

Our Garden Beds are ready for planting

Vidal Sassoon

Ugh, I almost forgot - RIP Vidal Sassoon. Your death has gotten entirely too little attention from the media. 🙁

IT Help?

FB - I own a Seagate Freeagent external hard drive that works perfectly fine on a friend's computer but does nothing - nothing - on mine. It worked on my old computer, and the USB ports are good to go (they work fine with other devices) so they're not to blame. I have Windows 7 and have gone to start-computer-manage-storage-disc management but the device doesn't show up there either. I need ideas. Anyone?

The Family Corleone

I am a longtime fan of Mario Puzo's The Godfather and the universe it inspired. I rank the film as my 2nd favorite movie of all time, while the book holds the unique record of being the only - the ONLY - book of the hundreds I've read that I've re-read more than once.

 (Er, it actually might be the only adult book I've re-read period. Why re-read a book when there are thousands waiting to be read for the first time?)

I was looking forward to reading The Family Corleone by Ed Falco, a prequel to the original novel that was authorized by the Puzo estate and supposedly based on an unpublished GF4 script by Puzo himself.

The verdict? Eh.

It's not awful, although I fear any Godfather work carries with it built-in brownie points that prohibit a failing grade. The book is centered around the years '33-35 and the mafia war that brought the Corleone's to prominence. The war was mentioned in the original novel at some (moderate) length, and I was eager to read about it in more detail.

Unfortunately, the book was bogged down by several anachronisms - one literally on page one - , coupled with characters who felt compelled to reference the few pop-culture cliches of the era - you know, to establish "setting" - and who run around talking like dime store hoods. They also voice a ton of  vulgarities in Italian (enough that Falco included a glossary in the back), which is probably realistic but comes off as a bit contrived between these covers.

 There's also a glaring editorial error on the inside cover. Above an an organizational flowchart of the New York families is a title reading "Names and Families" - only it mistakenly reads "Games and Families".

Sigh.

Here's my problems with the plot. I think there's a pretty wishy-washy lead up to the war; not that there wasn't violence and disagreement, but I'm still not clear how this drew every family into conflict. Nor do I think Vito's little speech with Luca was nearly enough to establish his loyalty, and the Irish subplot was pointless. Worst of all, the 'war' seemed more like the invasion of Grenada -some people got hurt, but it lasted a blink of an eye.

And Falco messes with established cannon. Luca killed Capone's thugs with an ax, and one choked to death on his gag in fear. Not here. Vito himself was ill at ease with Luca - not here. Sonny was corrupted by seeing his father kill Fanucci - there's a different victim here. Rescuing Tom Hagen was an act of selfless piety - not here.

Screw that.

I'm not one of those idiots who spent page after page blasting Mark Winegardner's literary sequels of the last decade. I enjoyed them, even if I didn't love what they did to Tom Hagen. But I honestly thought this was a mediocre novel that lacks Puzo's grim brilliance.

I grade it a C.

How can I convince the Slap Family that an Alaskan vacation should be on their to do list? Fred Bryan

I took the family out to El Fuego tonight to celebrate some great news, blowing my entire (part-time job) paycheck in the process. No, I'm not telling you what the news is - if I was going to do that I'd have led off the update with it. Suffice it to say, however, sometimes a burning sensation goes away all on its own. I kid, I kid!

The Journal-Sentinel has officially asked me to stay on for a 5th year as a community columnist. I'm not *unhappy* about it, but I'm long past the point of being awed/excited about the news.

My guilty TV pleasure? Castle. Somehow I find myself watching it every week and enjoying the hell out of it. My not so guilty pleasure? DWTS. Great show, great season!

The Rose

The rose we gave Smiley after the recital bloomed today.

My Godson and his father

Hiddenburg - 75 years on

Today is the 75th anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster. RIP.

Dance Recital Weekend!

Recital weekend here at the Slapinions house! We took the kids to Kopps for burgers and custard after one show!

Mariano Rivera

Ugh. A torn ACL . . . say a prayer for Mariano. He deserves better than to have his career end in such a fashion. Get better Mo!

The Fourteenth Day

I've finished reading "The Fourteenth Day : JFK and the Aftermath of the Cuban Missile Crisis: The Secret White House Tapes" by David G. Coleman (publication date of 0ct 8th of this year, to coincide w/ the 50th anniversary of the crisis.) I did learn some things, like the extent of the Kennedy administration's legally dubious actions towards the press, and the fact that the crisis (barely) scooped Khrushchev's plans for a November gamble to take the initiative in the Cold War. But as the title states, this book is crafted from secret recordings JFK made (clandestine recordings, vindictive attacks on reporters - JFK and RN were Bobbsey Twins in some regards). So . . . it might have been nice to actually have included more than a few lines of transcripts scattered throughout the book. For 200 pages the author essentially summarizes what's on the tapes, and because of that - and a lack of panache by the author - this reads like a well done but uninspiring research paper. . Grade: C