Christmas Day 2012

Christmas morning the kids came down, as required, in their pj’s and looking photo ready. First to open a gift was YaYa, who received a beautiful hardbound sketch book!

Lulu was next. Alas, she chose to open a very small package, no doubt thinking it was jewelry of some sort. I’m afraid it was her least expensive gift, a cute pen I included at the last minute. She was still very gracious J

Then Smiley opened up his art set

Ginger opened a Rapunzel storybook from LuLu (she earned it as an award from her math tutor)

YaYa and LuLu, in turn, each opened up a brand new sleeping bag for them each to use on sleepovers!

Smiley then opened some Darth Vader slippers!

Ginger opened a Disney Rapunzel doll!

YaYa opened a monogrammed sketchbook

Lulu opened her ‘big’ gift – a Fijit interactive, alien looking thing. In lime green, naturally!

Smiley opened up a Star Wars Lego set

Ginger got a Barbie doll

YaYa opened a sketching/easel set

Lu opened a brand new pink and purple basketball!

Then Smiley opened his ‘big’ gift, a kids tablet known as an InnoTab2S!

After Lauren opened her art set, it was time for YaYa’s big gift – a 16MP shock-proof digital camera that retailed for nearly $300, but that we purchased new on closeout for $50. It’s better than my camera for pete’s sake!

Along with it she got a memory card too!

LuLu followed up by opening a brand new pair of roller skates!

Smiley opened up a Star Wars jigsaw puzzle and puzzle glue

While Ginger opened up her big gift – a Barbie closet!

Lu then unwrapped a pottery wheel and extra clay, just what she asked for!

Smiley then unwrapped a glow in the dark football, the ‘equivalent’ gift of the sleeping bags

Ginger then opened up an outfit that came with a matching ensemble for her doll!

Then she opened her ‘equivalent’ gift, a butterfly PillowPet

Finally, Smiley opened up a chirping cricket stuffed animal.

When I type all of the above out, it sure seems like an over-the-top Christmas. But it’s four kids remember. While we’ve never struck out or gone gonzo on Christmas in the past, I remember being largely dissatisfied with last year’s crop, and so we took pains to do well this year.

The kids all got one ‘big’ gift. They each got an art set of some sort, and a set of pajamas, and the sleeping bag/equivalent, plus a few extras. Careful long-term planning (and a K-Mart layaway) made the difference between a bust and a boom this holiday season.

So far the results have been good. Lu uses her basketball in the house all the time, to our annoyance. The InnoTab has been in constant use, as has YaYa’s camera. Ginger’s worn her outfit, and Lu made Lisa an ashtray with her pottery wheel and used the roller skates at Incrediroll; she also took her sleeping bag to a sleepover on New Years and decreed it “awesome!”. The art sets are all in use, although Ginger’s was too babyish and needed an upgrade.

So far – a hit!

Later that day, after a pancake breakfast with my father-in-law and his Lisa’s step-mom, and a good nap, we treated the kids to a movie at the Value Cinema (Frankenweenie), toured the decorated houses along Candy Cane Lane, and dined at McDonald’s.

A nice, relaxing, wonderful Christmas!

I hope yours was as well.

Overkill

No one was elected to the baseball Hall of Fame this year, a clear message from the BBWAA that 'steroid era' players would be punished, and tarred and feathered as a generation, not just as individual offenders. I agree, keep confirmed, routine roiders Bonds and Clemens on the outs, at least long enough to make a point. But Biggio? Piazza? Tim Raines? The 32 other guys on the ballot? Many of these guys are HOF worthy, even the pre-roid Bonds. Overkill guys, overkill.

4 Flicks

Exorcismus is a British film about a teenage girl who begins to show signs of demonic possession and becomes the subject of an exorcism in her home. Yes, yes, it’s all been done before. I’ve seen just as many of these cookie cutter Exorcist rip-offs as you have, and probably more, and you don’t have to waste your breath telling me they’re usually a waste of time.

But . . .

I liked Exorcismus. I reallllly liked it. Of course it’s largely the same storyline as The Exorcist, but so what? Think of it like an apple pie: all share the same basic ingredients (apples, flour, sugar), and all bake at the same temperature for the same amount of time, but there’s a world of difference between your Mom’s apple pie and what you’ll find at the local 7-11. Sometimes it isn’t about the recipe; it’s about the quality of the baker.

Exorcismus had dang good bakers.

From the start the film looked and felt like someone cared about it. The acting was convincing, the disintegration of the family appallingly gut-wrenching, and the plot twist unexpected. Yes, there’s some anti-Catholic bias at points, but In a word, well in two words, it was damn good.

It’s available for streaming on Netflix. Please, watch it.

Grade: A+

After Porn Ends is a documentary that explores the life of several notable porn stars long after their careers on screen have ended. The film itself doesn't adopt a moral stance one way or the other, but it’s painfully obvious that some of these people entered the industry because they were emotionally damaged, a few far worse than others, and neither the career nor exiting it did much to help their problems. By and large, however, the former stars have created successful ‘normal’ lives, with 9 to 5 jobs and families, and few of them speak of regretting their time on screen.

The male stars seem to have enjoyed an easier transition to the ‘regular’ world, and I’m sure your first instinct is to chalk that up to societal sexism. You could be right, but based on the documentary I would wager it has much more to do with the men having stable, loving relationships at home than any sociological theory.

By the way, some of John Leslie's artwork was breathtaking.

Grade: B

Yellowbrickroad is a film about a small town whose population just got up and walked off into the woods one day in the 1940’s. By the time investigators began to search for them, there was only one seemingly mad survivor left.

In the present day an investigative journalist is given some never before seen documentation about the case, and along with a small group of professionals he sets off to recreate this mass migration. As you can guess, the forces at work in the ‘40’s begin to ply their trade on this group, and one by one they begin to slip away from the bounds of civilization.

What saves this from being a ho-hum, been there/done that film is a dark and all together depressing finale that lingers with you days later.

Grade: C

Craigslist Joe is a documentary about a man who, for 31 days, lived and traveled the length of America relying solely on the generosity of people he found on Craigslist. It’s a sweet, sometimes funny testament to Gerald Ford’s notion that “most people are mostly good, most of the time.”

With that being said, Joe has a few inherent advantages that skew his experiment. He is accompanied by a cameraman and is open about the focus of the documentary, a fact which eases some concerns strangers would have about security. In some cases the camera no doubt ‘forced’ a person to act above his nature, and the fact that this was an experiment and not a case of panhandling opened some wallets.  Joe is also a male, and I think a woman attempting this same journey would meet with quite a few more shady moments than he did.

Grade: B+

A New Record to be Set

Despite Dan W's opinion that it lacks the panache of my book record, I've set a goal to watch between 400-500 movies in 2013. I'm up to 11 or 12 so far, not including a clunker that was so awful we turned it off after 20 min.

Junie at Chuck-E-Cheese

Christmas Eve 2012

Christmas Eve was rather a quiet affair this year. Mid afternoon, while Lisa was at work, I took the kids to my parent’s to exchange gifts and holiday greetings. We got my Dad a fresh pumpkin pie and a pumpkin scented candle, and my Mom a “as seen on TV” pillow for her derriere.

As usual, they (well, they and my sisters combined) went overboard on gifts for the kids; in prior years they've even overshadowed what I give them under the tree. 

YaYa got a zebra throw blanket, a Taylor Swift DVD (“Just for You”), a red Taylor Swift t-shirt she wore non-stop for days

Some owl merchandise, Taylor Swift perfume and a DVD of Psych’s Halloween episodes

LuLu got a pair of panda hats, a Snuggie, and a stuffed panda, a peace sign robe, along with some clothes.

Smiley got a Knex building kit, a Star Wars ‘fighter pods’ pack (Darth Vader is red. Smiley was confused, and so was I), and a set of Pokemon cards.

Ginger got a Cocker Spaniel toy, a Cinderella, Fairy Godmother, and Prince Charming doll, and a LaLaLoopsy doll!

Afterwards we picked up Lisa from work and hurried home to prepare a small spread for my in-laws and some friends. While Lisa’s Entourage showed up, not a one of my friends so much as returned an RSVP. Duly noted gentlemen, duly noted.

That was at 7, and by 8 it was winding down. We decided to present the kids with one gift from us, as we do every Christmas Eve. And as on every Christmas Eve, the gift was the same – pajamas. The idea being if you want to open any gifts the next morning, you had best be camera ready in your new duds the minute you wake up.

Apparently Ginger had forgotten this ritual and was expecting far more than pajamas, and had a holy fit. You can see a small bit of that in these photos!

At 10:30 Lisa and I, along with the Entourage and a total of seven children, went to Mass. The kids were great there, and upon our return they headed right for bed.

Before I conclude this Christmas Eve post, I want to mention our ‘Santa Key”, which we (read: Lisa) crafted years ago to explain to YaYa how Santa entered our (then) apartment, seeing as we didn’t have a fireplace. While Lisa was oddly adamant Ginger no longer believed in Santa, she was dead wrong. She believed, and was thrilled when I had her place the key in our mailbox “so Santa can unlock the door” on Christmas. J

3 Films For Your Consideration

Armless is a dry comedy about John, a man who leaves his wife and journeys to New York to find a doctor willing to amputate both of his perfectly healthy arms. He suffers from 'body integrity identity disorder', and since he was a child he has fantasized about a life with only ‘nubbins’ in place of his limbs. This is news to his wife, who heads off after him, and the doctor he consults under a case of mistaken identity.

 At the risk of sounding crass, this is obviously Nutty Nutterson territory, but the filmmakers never treat their subject with contempt, doing their best to have us empathize, if not with John, then with his caring and shell-shocked wife.  While the movie as a whole is impressive there are a few patches of stiff, awkward dialogue and what appears to be a serious shortage of funding. Some of the sets – the doctor’s waiting room, for instance – appear to have been furnished with the budget leftover from an elementary school Christmas pageant. 

Grade: B

Looper is a time travel thriller set in 2044. Thirty years from that future time travel will be possible but illegal, practiced only by the mob, who sends victims back in time to be killed and disposed of by hit men called Loopers. Their name is derived from their fate; every Looper must eventually kill his future self and close his ‘loop’.  Joesph Gordon-Levitt plays Joe, a Looper whose future self, Bruce Willis, ignores the established protocol and escapes into the present. Now Joe – young Joe – must find him or face the horrific wrath of the mob, and prevent his older self from changing history.

The movie got great reviews and great word of mouth, and I couldn’t wait to see it.

The verdict? Meh.

It was good, but hardly a game changer. The actors were good, the script was polished, the idea was neat, and minus her obnoxious accent I found Emily Blunt appealing. I can’t isolate a specific flaw, but it just didn’t click for me.  Maybe it was just a case of inflated expectations, or the fact that I just didn’t like Joe, be it the young or older version. 

I grade this a B+

The Car is a 1978 film starring James Brolin. He plays a sheriff’s deputy in a small Southwestern town, and the last two years of his career have been spent doing nothing more than writing traffic tickets. Enter a mysterious 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III that is responsible for several hit and run deaths. As the death toll rises it becomes obvious that this is no normal car, and rumors of a supernatural driver – or no driver at all – begin to gain credence. Can Brolin stop the rampage before it claims even more victims?

I really got a kick out of this film, and have nothing but praise for it. Citizen Kane it is not, but it does a great job ratcheting up the fear in that small town, and the scene in the garage in the third act just plain gave me the willies for a second.

‘70’s horror rocks.

Grade: A

There are Other Jobs

Update: I'm unemployed for the time being. Michaels hired me as a floral designer and I spent the last 15 minutes of my employment there cleaning another persons fecal matter from the bathroom floor/seat/rim/etc. When "talked to" about my lack of team spirit I was informed I may be called upon for bathroom duty again. I'm not too good for bathroom duty but I was never told this was a part of my job description and if it was I would have asked for more pay! I was making a baby memorial when I was called for bathroom duty, blessed my children are happy and healthy. There are other jobs.

- Lisa

Dinner Success

I'm not trying to romanticize it, because it did end horribly, with Smiley and LuLu getting into it and whipping broccoli at each other BUT for a moment dinner was grand. I made chicken breasts with diced tomatoes, mashed potatoes, the before mentioned broccoli, and sautéed cherry tomatoes and mushrooms. There were literal thumbs up from around the table, and best of all (to me) Smiley and YaYa  both gobbled up the mushrooms.

Rest in Peace Little One

Lisa encountered a couple yesterday whose newborn son passed away. I didn't know 3 week old Owen, but if you've got a prayer to spare for his family I'm sure they'd appreciate it.

Quote(s) of the Day

The following letter came home with Ginger the other day:

Mr. + Mrs. Slap –

[Ginger] has been bringing a lot of toys to school and as you know this causes problems.

She sneaks them out during the day to play when she should be working. I have quite a collection of things I have taken from her.

Please do not let her bring any toys to school. Make sure she brings in her folder and other things she needs for her day and keep toys at home.

Thanks,

Mrs. Charn-

Note that in addition to scolding Ginger for the toys, there’s that late little jab at how ‘unprepared’ we send her off in the morning.

That kid is trouble, pure trouble.

****

Lisa and her Entourage went shopping, and when they returned they were eager to tell me that they’d seen my doppelganger at the store, someone who could pass for my identical twin.

“So you were attracted to this guy?”  I asked Lisa.

Without pausing for so much as a millisecond she gave me her answer:

“No, not at all.”

*crickets chirp*

******

I greatly enjoy Pierniczk Alperjskie, which may be a Polish brand name or just the name of the food itself; a Bing search would settle the issue by damnit, sometimes a mystery adds spice to life.  They are soft, chocolate covered gingerbread cookies with a strawberry filling. No one else in the family can stand them, which is bully for me. 

Quote

40 Years Ago Today

40 years ago today George Steinbrenner bought my beloved Yankees and within 3 years returned them to October ball. RIP sir, you did the universe proud.

Four Very Different Films

The Disappearance of McKinley Nolan is a documentary which traces one man’s search for his brother, a soldier who went missing during the Vietnam War. By ‘missing’ I don’t mean MIA; Nolan defected to the Viet-Cong, apparently because he fell for a native woman (never mind his wife and son at home) and never returned to the states. He participated in propaganda efforts in Hanoi, told possibly apocryphal stories of killing American MP’s, and was rumored to have been killed by the Kymer Rouge in Cambodia following the unification of Vietnam.  Small wonder then that the US government hasn’t gone the extra mile to check on his well-being, and his family’s anger about that, and their mild belief that a grand conspiracy is afoot,  strikes me as absurd.

 Not that I blame them for venturing to Southeast Asia to look for him; whatever he’s done, he is still their kin.  I won’t spoil the result of the search, but regardless of what happens in the end, the trip fleshes out the story of his post-defection life, as his brother encounters his friends, fellow VC, and even his Vietnamese step-son.

It’s a sad film, but a good one.  Grade: B+

VHS is a collection of ‘found footage’ horror shorts held together under the narrative guise of being part of disturbing collection of videos in a dead man’s house. There’s quite a wide range of quality between the best and the worst here. “Tuesday the 17th’, about a picnic on a lake that goes awry, is better than the work of any fourth grader I've ever met; that’s about the extent of my praise for it.  And yes, I caught the not-so subtitle homage to '80's slasher films. Big wup. 

On the other hand , segments like 'The Sick Thing that Happened to Emily When She was Younger’, about a woman whose apartment may be haunted, and “10/31/98” about an ill-fated Halloween  night, are worth the price of a rental  The movie is hard to watch though, with the signature choppy 'found footage' camera work and a confusing overall structure.

Grade: C

Resident Evil: Retribution is a mindless, video game romp through a zombie infested former Soviet submarine base. There’ s not much to recommend this movie aside from the fact that somehow, someway, even as you’re a little embarrassed to be watching it, you’re also very entertained. Grade: C

The Good Doctor stars Orlando Bloom as a socially isolated intern who becomes infatuated with a young female patient and sabotages her treatment so that she can remain in his care. It’s a frightfully boring film that slogs forward at a tortoise’s pace, and despite two valid efforts I could never watch it start to finish.  You may think that disqualifies me from rendering a true verdict, but I think the evidence was clear. Grade: D

That He Does :)

My gosh, Smiley loves his Momma :)

:)

LuLu's pronunciation of Indianapolis: "Indy-ana-op-olis"

My Gosh

My gosh, Smiley loves his Momma

Two Dates

Today would have been my maternal grandmother's 90th birthday.

Today is also the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Ap Bac, where Viet Cong forces pinned down and defeated a South Vietnamese force 5x it's size, along with their American advisers. It's been described as the Viet Cong's first major battlefield victory and credited with all sorts of influence on how events played out in the next 12 years. IMO, that 'influence' seems exaggerated by historians It was influential in the moment, but I don't see its reach extending that much into the future.

The 150th Anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation

I almost forgot one of the most important anniversaries in all of history: today is the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln issuing the Emancipation Proclamation. Yes, yes, it was the 13th amendment that ended slavery forever, but only the harshest revisionist would argue that the Proclamation was anything less than the nail in the coffin for that 'peculiar institution'.