Chuckles Bites the Dust

Just watched the classic Mary Tyler Moore Show episode "Chuckles Bites the Dust" (S6ep7), often ranked as the best half-hour sitcom episode of all time. 38 years after it aired, it still made me LOL.

:(

Crap day. Absolutely crap day.

Esther Williams

RIP actressa and swimmer Esther Williams, age 91.

Deacon Jones

RIP Deacon Jones

The Heat

Congratulations to the Miami Heat, who FINALLY stuck a fork in the freakin' Pacers to move on to the Finals. Provided the Spurs don't complete an upset, Lebron should walk away with his second ring. *fingers crossed*

Attended Vern S's funeral Mass with YaYa and paid our respects, then in an abrupt about face took Smiley to his first ever trip to the batting cages. More on that last part later.

Ready O-Key-Oh!

Today, for the first time in ages, the house echoed with cries of "Ready O-key-oh!" as blanket forts fended off zombie attacks (often unsuccessfully) "We're just pratendin' deres a zombie attack," JUnie said. "No," I replied. "You're PRACTICING."

A Scout Sleepover and Golden Corral

Junie and Lisa stayed overnight at a Girl Scout event held in a large gymnasium out in Waukesha. In the morning I picked them up and treated my girls to breakfast at Golden Corral

Smiley's Art

I'm sorry the image is so faint, but this is a scanned copy of a pencil sketch Smiley (age 8) did last week. I asked him time and again if he traced it, and he swears up and down it's freehand. Since YaYa has also become a rather talented artist (at least for her age) I think the little guy is telling the truth :)

Fantasy Baseball

After five consecutive wins, it looks like I'm going to lose this week in fantasy baseball. "Lose" is an understatement: I'm going to be spanked and made to say Da-Da, thanks to some truly crapalicious pitching performances.

Harvey Korman

RIP Harvey Korman of the Carol Burnett show, age 81

Jean Stapleton

RIP Jean Stapleton, aka Edith Bunker, age 90. You will be missed.

Pizza Man - a rough sketch by LuLu

Here's a rough draft of an art project LuLu did entitled "Pizza Man". Enjoy!.

Earworm

Since hearing it this morning, Smiley has been singing "Brass Monkey"

Dang you Homer Bailey and your 3 2/3 inning, 7 run outing. Your bad day may just tip the tables against me in a close week of fantasy baseball.

Andrew Greeley

RIP Father Andrew M. Greeley, one of my Dad's favorite authors, age 85.

The iconic Scoutmaster of the kids school died unexpedely today. RIP Vern S.

A nightmare I had earlier this week

So here’s the nightmare.

We’re all sitting on folding chairs around the perimeter of a dance studio – pale blonde floor, mirrored walls etc. It’s my family and another one with kids of nearly identical age, plus a middle school age boy who seemed to be a ward of ours. It was casual, friendly conversation, and then the boy tried on a gift from the other family – a pale blue uniform shirt for school. Only it was obviously meant for a girl; ruffled sleeves and frilly neckline.

I mocked the shirt in good humor, not knowing at the time it was a gift from the other family, then apologized sincerely. I went out to our car, stating I knew we had a proper uniform shirt somewhere. I dug through the car with no luck.

When I returned to the room I couldn’t find Lu, or the girl the same age from the other family. We couldn’t find them at all.

Cut to a few days later. My brother in law and his wife are walking with me towards the entrance of the studio, now seen as a white cinderblock building with a steel door and a chain link fence around the parking area. The sky is an odd color. My brother in law is blowing off her disappearance, saying she must have ran off, and in response I blow him off with a curt word.

Then I am somewhere else, face to face with an evil man who knows something of her whereabouts. He is not the perpetrator of the act, but he knows of it. He states that one of the two girls has already been killed – I react with fear, and relax visibly when he says it was the other girl and that Lu is still alive.

“See how far your Christian concern goes,” the man said, gloating. “You don’t care about that other girl at all, so long as your child is allright.”

I didn’t bother disputing this. “You’re right, my daughter means more to me than someone else’s child. I’m human. But don’t you dare think you’re going to get away with hurting that girl.”

The man laughed and for some reason pricked my finger to ID me. As the little GPS sized gizmo sized up my blood, it flashed scenes of worlds exploding, of rivers of lava, of action and destruction. Finally the result: the readout read “The Doctor”, and the man gasped.

Cut again, this time to the same geographic area, but now in chaos. I have done what the Doctor does, wreaked havoc and mayhem. I am running up a very steep hill covered in trees stripped of their leaves.  Someone is at my side. The sky is red.

The townspeople, long unaware of what was wrong,but aware of the evil alongside them, have risen up in fury.

Some of them confront loved ones ‘turned’ to darkness against their will. One man with a pitchfork pleads with his ‘turned’ wife  to bring her back to the light. Behind him, the monster responsible for this terror slips unopposed out of scene. She is a tall, raven haired woman with a billowing, bright red dress.

It is days later, and I am at a table drinking coffee. The family sets out (in a station wagon!) for parts unknown, Lu in the middle of her siblings in the backseat. She is safe and unharmed but clearly disturbed by what occurred.

And I wake up. 

A bad rollover accident we passed after school today

A First!

Embarrassing admission of the day: today at lunch I had my first ever Casear salad. The verdict? Heaven! And better still, since it includes the word 'salad' I'm sure it's both calorie free and healthy! Huzzah!

Slight revision regarding Portia: once she cut her hair on the show most of the age-related issues took care of themselves. I think it's simply that playing 7 years her junior is impossible at her age. Also, per Lisa, the men on Bachelorette season 9 are 'fours and fives' and a pathetic crop for Des. Additionally, go #TeamBlake on the Voice!

The basketball banquet

On Saturday May 11th (the 22nd anniversary of my Confirmation, IIRC) I took LuLu to her basketball award banquet. She had quit the team a month or so before, citing a coach that was less than sedate, but she was still invited to the dinner. That didn't stop her from being VERY very nervous,. I tweeted the following: 

@ an award banquet for lu and she is very ill at ease. She txtd lis " Mom my team are all buds but not me im the weird girl in the corner"

I told her to stop acting like me and start acting more like her Mom - socialize. With time, and a few Shirley Temple's, she started not only hanging out with a couple of girls, but drawing others into her orbit. 

During the evening, which was the eve of Mothers Day, each Mom - or in my case, Dad - was given a rose by their girl for the holiday. LOL - but super sweet. 

.

At the end of the night, she got a medal of her own. 

What was the final verdict on the banquet? Thumbs up!

The New Arrested Development

Watched the first few episodes of the new 'Arrested Development'. What we've learned so far: Portia de Rossi has passed her expiration date. The beautiful, they fall all the harder, do they not? update 2022: I just reread this and I think, quite apart from societal changes, that my opinion as expresssed here was just ignorant as hell.

Junie and her hat ( inherited from YaYa)

LOL

After a game of concentration with the kids went awry. 

Lisa: I am now officially the worst mother ever. 

Me: Nooooo, not 'officially'. There's been no legal action.