update: I just got preliminary word back from Lisa. They're giving her a breathing treatment and steroids, but she should be OK and home in the next hour or so.
Published writer, compulsive reader, Old School Whovian, Match Game enthusiast, NKOTB fan, data hoarder, and - surprisingly, given that list - married with four kids. Welcome to my take on life, fatherhood, entertainment, and whatever strikes my fancy. Enjoy!
Monday, October 12, 2009
LuLu is in the ER
Lisa just took LuLu to the ER after she woke up short of breath with chest pain. Hopefully (?!) it's 'just' her first/last horrific asthma attack.
There's a Rumor . . .
Ok! magazine is running with a story claiming ARod has asked Goldie Hawn for permission to marry her daughter (Kate Hudson). This can't wait til we have ring #27 people? There's playoffs to worry about!
Death in a Prairie House
In August of 1914, as the first shots of WWI echoed across Europe, the family and staff of architect Frank Lloyd Wright sat down for lunch in his Wisconsin home. The servant calmly and expertly served the soup - and then pulled out a hatchet. Without warning he killed Wright's lover and her children before setting fire to the building and hacking away at the staff as they tried to flee.
Seven people would die that day, making it the bloodiest mass murder in Wisconsin history before 2005.
Wright was in Chicago that day, but the loss of his lover and the partial destruction of Taliesin, his Prairie House masterpiece, would shape his life and the history of architecture. Death in a Prairie House by William R. Drennan, tells the untold story of those murders.
For many years my wife and I lived two blocks from three examples of Wright's work, and as a Wisconsin native and resident he lives on as a hero in the state. That wasn't always the case.
A few years before the attack Wright abruptly left his wife and children to take a married mother of two as his lover. In defiance of convention, he flaunted this affair and eventually took up residence with her at Taliesin. That is questionable behavior now, much less in 1914, and all of it neatly justified by a hodge-podge of collected aphorisms.
In return, many people in America looked upon him with scorn and distrust.
Did that play a role in inspiring the killer? No one ever discovered the true motive behind the attacks - the African-American assailant starved himself to death in jail before the trial, having attempted suicide upon capture - and everything from religious indignation, racial tension, and a grand conspiracy was offered up for approval.
The book does a fine job of exploring the early life of Wright and piecing together the attack and its aftermath. There are a few notable little errors - one on the first page (!) - but in each case they are almost certainly insignificant details (but ones that should be corrected in future editions). As far at the writing goes it is smooth and polished and shows an expert hand.
Highly entertaining, highly recommended.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The international Date Line always confuses me - is it April 1st in Oslo?
I'm tinkering with announcing an 'intermission' here at Slapinions as I tangle with real-world issues, but I had to sally forth for this obligatory subject . . .
* * * * *
My reaction when Lisa told me Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize: "For what?!" That's a point of view shared by many Americans, even those in his corner.
[The best snarky reaction I've read? "Where's Kanye West when you need him?"]
Keep in mind that the nominations for the Prize closed on February 1st, which meant that Obama's administration was all of 12 days old when the committee felt The One was worthy of the honor. 288 hours, with at least the first 24 devoted to dinner and dancing.
Ah, but Oslo didn't award the Prize based on accomplishments, saying "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future."
In other words, it's just a high profile political endorsement.
After the first wave of genuine shock, and no doubt a glance at the calendar to see if it was April 1st, there were hesitant predictions from the Left that the Nobel win could help Obama push through health care and aid in ending the war in Afghanistan. Apparently, the idea is the award will legitimize his efforts and give heft to his arguements.
Yeaaaah.
It makes more sense to say it'll be more difficult for him to do what needs doing - how can you win the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday and send in 40,000 more troops to Afghanistan the next day?
In reality, it'll probably do nothing to aid or hurt him, other than costing him a small share of voters made uneasy by the Cult of Personality. Oh, and of course, it furthers the decay of the awards legitimacy, but if Norway doesn't care, why should we?
Kudos, btw, for the hyperbole from DNC Communications Director Brad Woodhouse: “The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize."
Remember kiddies, criticism is only patriotic when its directed at a Republican!
[Note: For his part, the President said "I am both surprised and deeply humbled [by winning the Prize]." Hmmm. I'll give him the former, but call b.s. on the humble bit. That man's ego isn't capable of recording a hit.]
* * * * *
My reaction when Lisa told me Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize: "For what?!" That's a point of view shared by many Americans, even those in his corner.
[The best snarky reaction I've read? "Where's Kanye West when you need him?"]
Keep in mind that the nominations for the Prize closed on February 1st, which meant that Obama's administration was all of 12 days old when the committee felt The One was worthy of the honor. 288 hours, with at least the first 24 devoted to dinner and dancing.
Ah, but Oslo didn't award the Prize based on accomplishments, saying "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future."
In other words, it's just a high profile political endorsement.
After the first wave of genuine shock, and no doubt a glance at the calendar to see if it was April 1st, there were hesitant predictions from the Left that the Nobel win could help Obama push through health care and aid in ending the war in Afghanistan. Apparently, the idea is the award will legitimize his efforts and give heft to his arguements.
Yeaaaah.
It makes more sense to say it'll be more difficult for him to do what needs doing - how can you win the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday and send in 40,000 more troops to Afghanistan the next day?
In reality, it'll probably do nothing to aid or hurt him, other than costing him a small share of voters made uneasy by the Cult of Personality. Oh, and of course, it furthers the decay of the awards legitimacy, but if Norway doesn't care, why should we?
Kudos, btw, for the hyperbole from DNC Communications Director Brad Woodhouse: “The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize."
Remember kiddies, criticism is only patriotic when its directed at a Republican!
[Note: For his part, the President said "I am both surprised and deeply humbled [by winning the Prize]." Hmmm. I'll give him the former, but call b.s. on the humble bit. That man's ego isn't capable of recording a hit.]
My A-Rod
Arod: 3 AB's with RISP and 2 out = 3 hits, 3 RBI. I may just swoon from all the love I feel. Seriously.
2 run home run by A-Rod in the bottom of the ninth to tie it up . . . I bow to you, Oh Great One of This and Any Era!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Just a routine 3 a.m. update
Howdy. I wouldn't be up at all at this late hour if it wasn't for a toothache that seems to come roaring to life only when my head hits the pillow. I'm groggy as heck, but as I wait for the Advil to kick in, let's type.
* * * *
The van is still down, although estimates have dropped the bill to $1550. Whoo-hoo. Since we won't have that money for a long time, we've been walking quite a bit, juggling rides, and leaning heavily on the (fingers crossed/knock on wood) Escort.
I actually got pulled over in the Escort last week while running to the store to buy Smiley an apple for school. The exhaust system is ghetto-rifficly loud until it's warmed up, but the officer let me off with a warning. Unfortunately, I don't really have the money to replace that system right now either. Later that same day I took Smiley for a "man day", spending time at the DMV, getting the van towed home, and grabbing a quick bite to eat.
Oh, speaking of that exhaust the girls are horribly embarrassed and so, when I drop them off/pick them up from school, I park a half block away and walk them to the door. Fun.
All that is reinforcing an inferiority complex Lisa and I have. We never had the money of the other parents, but quite apart from that I don't have the time or energy to devote to all the petty little things that seem to consume a "quality" parent there. It doesn't help when on a day like today, when I was running late, I brought Smiley along wearing a mismatched outfit with chocolate smeared across his brow.
Screw it. As I told Lisa tonight "We're good parents. Not Cosby Show good, but right up there with Roseanne."
* * *
I took the girls to the eye doctor for checkups. I warned YaYa, in the Dr.'s presence, that she better not think of tanking the test just to earn a new set of glasses. Lo and behold she did fake the results, and the doc called her on it. No matter. On the redo her eyes did come up as worse than before, and her prescription was strengthened. LuLu on the other hand, came out A-1. She recited the letters machine-gun style. :)
* * *
I watched the Twins and Tigers battle for the AL Central crown in the do-or-die one game playoff today. It wasn't a flawless game, but when it comes to drama it was damn near perfection. For me it ranks right up there with the '91 and '01 Series, the Rockies-Padres playoff a few years ago, and the 2003 ALCS.
Congrats to the Twins - and I hope you're swept by my Yanks.
* * *
Speaking of Minnesota: what a crappy football game Monday, at least for Packer fans. You can't give up 8 sacks and win, you just can't. You can point fingers every which way, and bow down to Favre if you like, but again - you don't give up 8 sacks and walk away with a W.
Oh, btw I notched my third consecutive loss in fantasy football. I adjusted my roster for bye weeks and racked up a respectable point total, but my opponents defence went nuts for something like 35 fantasy points, and I lost by ten. Sigh.
* * *
Congrats to the Badgers for their 5-0 start!
* * *
Back to baseball. A St. Louis blogger made a boast last week. He bragged about how his Cardinals would beat down the Brewers for their "arrogance" when they went to Missouri to finish the season. Hmm. I'm all for partisanship, no problem there, but since his team was going to the postseason and mine sucked I reckoned his commentary was pretty assholish and unnecessary.
Naturally, in the first game of the series Milwaukee came back from a 6-1 deficit to win, and then swept the rest of the set. Ha-ha.
* * * *
Team victories are what matters, not individual numbers, but I have to congratulate both Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder.
Braun finished at .320/32/114 with 20 SB, 39 doubles and 203 hits - only the seventh time in Brewers history a player has cracked the two-century mark.
Prince finished at a staggering .299, with a .412 OBP, 35 doubles, 3(!) triples, 46 home runs. While starting every game of the season he also set a new Brewers single season mark with a whopping 141 RBI's, tying him for first in the NL.
Well done. I'm truly proud of you both.
* * *
I'm also damn happy with Alex Rodriguez, my favorite player in the game. He entered the final game of the season needing two home runs to reach 30 on the year, and seven RBI's to reach 100.A long shot of course, but he reached both goals IN A SINGLE INNNING, setting a new record in the process.
That marks the 12th year in a row he's gone 30/100, tying him all-time with Jimmie Foxx. Keep in mind, he sat out an entire month this year and still reached those goals.
Arod, you are the man.
* * *
My MLB predictions
AL: Yanks over Twins, Angels over Red Sox. Yanks over Angels.
The National League is much more complicated. I'd like to see the Dodgers move on to face New York, but I'm not feeling it. Hmmm.
NL: Phillies over Colorado, Dodgers over the Cardinals (but my gut says St. Louis). Dodgers/Cards over Phillies.
WS: Yanks over Dodgers/Cards
* * * *
The van is still down, although estimates have dropped the bill to $1550. Whoo-hoo. Since we won't have that money for a long time, we've been walking quite a bit, juggling rides, and leaning heavily on the (fingers crossed/knock on wood) Escort.
I actually got pulled over in the Escort last week while running to the store to buy Smiley an apple for school. The exhaust system is ghetto-rifficly loud until it's warmed up, but the officer let me off with a warning. Unfortunately, I don't really have the money to replace that system right now either. Later that same day I took Smiley for a "man day", spending time at the DMV, getting the van towed home, and grabbing a quick bite to eat.
Oh, speaking of that exhaust the girls are horribly embarrassed and so, when I drop them off/pick them up from school, I park a half block away and walk them to the door. Fun.
All that is reinforcing an inferiority complex Lisa and I have. We never had the money of the other parents, but quite apart from that I don't have the time or energy to devote to all the petty little things that seem to consume a "quality" parent there. It doesn't help when on a day like today, when I was running late, I brought Smiley along wearing a mismatched outfit with chocolate smeared across his brow.
Screw it. As I told Lisa tonight "We're good parents. Not Cosby Show good, but right up there with Roseanne."
* * *
I took the girls to the eye doctor for checkups. I warned YaYa, in the Dr.'s presence, that she better not think of tanking the test just to earn a new set of glasses. Lo and behold she did fake the results, and the doc called her on it. No matter. On the redo her eyes did come up as worse than before, and her prescription was strengthened. LuLu on the other hand, came out A-1. She recited the letters machine-gun style. :)
* * *
I watched the Twins and Tigers battle for the AL Central crown in the do-or-die one game playoff today. It wasn't a flawless game, but when it comes to drama it was damn near perfection. For me it ranks right up there with the '91 and '01 Series, the Rockies-Padres playoff a few years ago, and the 2003 ALCS.
Congrats to the Twins - and I hope you're swept by my Yanks.
* * *
Speaking of Minnesota: what a crappy football game Monday, at least for Packer fans. You can't give up 8 sacks and win, you just can't. You can point fingers every which way, and bow down to Favre if you like, but again - you don't give up 8 sacks and walk away with a W.
Oh, btw I notched my third consecutive loss in fantasy football. I adjusted my roster for bye weeks and racked up a respectable point total, but my opponents defence went nuts for something like 35 fantasy points, and I lost by ten. Sigh.
* * *
Congrats to the Badgers for their 5-0 start!
* * *
Back to baseball. A St. Louis blogger made a boast last week. He bragged about how his Cardinals would beat down the Brewers for their "arrogance" when they went to Missouri to finish the season. Hmm. I'm all for partisanship, no problem there, but since his team was going to the postseason and mine sucked I reckoned his commentary was pretty assholish and unnecessary.
Naturally, in the first game of the series Milwaukee came back from a 6-1 deficit to win, and then swept the rest of the set. Ha-ha.
* * * *
Team victories are what matters, not individual numbers, but I have to congratulate both Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder.
Braun finished at .320/32/114 with 20 SB, 39 doubles and 203 hits - only the seventh time in Brewers history a player has cracked the two-century mark.
Prince finished at a staggering .299, with a .412 OBP, 35 doubles, 3(!) triples, 46 home runs. While starting every game of the season he also set a new Brewers single season mark with a whopping 141 RBI's, tying him for first in the NL.
Well done. I'm truly proud of you both.
* * *
I'm also damn happy with Alex Rodriguez, my favorite player in the game. He entered the final game of the season needing two home runs to reach 30 on the year, and seven RBI's to reach 100.A long shot of course, but he reached both goals IN A SINGLE INNNING, setting a new record in the process.
That marks the 12th year in a row he's gone 30/100, tying him all-time with Jimmie Foxx. Keep in mind, he sat out an entire month this year and still reached those goals.
Arod, you are the man.
* * *
My MLB predictions
AL: Yanks over Twins, Angels over Red Sox. Yanks over Angels.
The National League is much more complicated. I'd like to see the Dodgers move on to face New York, but I'm not feeling it. Hmmm.
NL: Phillies over Colorado, Dodgers over the Cardinals (but my gut says St. Louis). Dodgers/Cards over Phillies.
WS: Yanks over Dodgers/Cards
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A Stir of Echoes
For all the fuss over Sixth Sense, I felt Stir of Echoes was a better movie, far more intense and involving and just downright scarier. As a matter of fact, Stir of Echoes might just crack my personal 'Ten Favorite Movies'.Because of that, and a recent Richard Matheson kick, I was eager to read the original novel that inspired the movie.
You can tell it formed the bones of the film. Tom Wallace is hypnotized at a party and develops psychic gifts that lead him to suspect foul play took place in his rented home.
Beyond that the movie veers sharply off the written page, and for good reason. The book reads like a claustrophobic example of '50's Suburbia. A good handful of people shoved into their perfect little world, everyone civil and sweet on the surface and chafing at the bit inside. Ugh. That's no way to live.
Aside from that, I think Matheson made a mistake writing in the first person. I think it weakens the story in this case, divorcing the reader from much of the suspense.
A good book, but I doubt it will be remembered in a a century's time.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
My Political Views, according to Facebook
There are a ton of useless, mindless quizzes on Facebook. I have no desire to know what '80's hair band best reflects my personality, or what Nordic god I'd be (Odin - duh). I do admit to a sophomoric desire to take a score of the girly quizzes, just to find out what Disney Princess I'd be and freak out the in-laws.
Anywho, I did enjoy a quiz that tried to pigeonhole where you stand on the political spectrum. It was pretty detailed, and while I have no idea if it was scientifically accurate or not, I was impressed.
My Political Views
I am a right social moderate
Right: 5.08, Libertarian: 0.15
Political Spectrum Quiz
My Foreign Policy Views
Score: 6.43
Political Spectrum Quiz
My Culture War Stance
Score: 5.66
Political Spectrum Quiz
The Political Spectrum Quiz
Daniel is a right social moderate. He is also a neo-con and culturally conservative. Daniel's scores (from 0 to 10):
Economic issues: +5.08 right
Social issues: +0.15 libertarian
Foreign policy: +6.43 neo-con
Cultural identification: +5.66 conservative
Category: political quizzes
* * **
No surprises on the foreign policy front, since I've always been a bit of a hawk. Still, in this day and age 'neo-con' just means not agreeing to take one up the ass every time another country might have its feelings hurt.
My, that did sound neo-con, didn't it? :)
I was a little thrown off by not being judged as more libertarian. But, after reviewing the test, I do favor government intervention in some cases, and my pro-life views don't jibe with the standard Libertarian platform.
All those results, and a pretty little graph too. What more can you ask for in a free Facebook quiz?
Anywho, I did enjoy a quiz that tried to pigeonhole where you stand on the political spectrum. It was pretty detailed, and while I have no idea if it was scientifically accurate or not, I was impressed.
My Political Views
I am a right social moderate
Right: 5.08, Libertarian: 0.15
Political Spectrum Quiz
My Foreign Policy Views
Score: 6.43
Political Spectrum Quiz
My Culture War Stance
Score: 5.66
Political Spectrum Quiz
The Political Spectrum Quiz
Daniel is a right social moderate. He is also a neo-con and culturally conservative. Daniel's scores (from 0 to 10):
Economic issues: +5.08 right
Social issues: +0.15 libertarian
Foreign policy: +6.43 neo-con
Cultural identification: +5.66 conservative
Category: political quizzes
* * **
No surprises on the foreign policy front, since I've always been a bit of a hawk. Still, in this day and age 'neo-con' just means not agreeing to take one up the ass every time another country might have its feelings hurt.
My, that did sound neo-con, didn't it? :)
I was a little thrown off by not being judged as more libertarian. But, after reviewing the test, I do favor government intervention in some cases, and my pro-life views don't jibe with the standard Libertarian platform.
All those results, and a pretty little graph too. What more can you ask for in a free Facebook quiz?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
And now the content universally despised among blog readers: pictures of the writer's cats
Angelcakes, who sleeps with YaYa most nights.
And Billy, aka William Sonoma, a mainstay of our lives since 1997.
And Billy, aka William Sonoma, a mainstay of our lives since 1997.
More TV
At the moment I'm quite depressed, and rather bitter with the course of my rotten life. So let's take the focus off the real world and discuss the magic box in the living room again, shall we?
I did forget a few shows when I did my last write-up. My DVR scooped up the The Office unexpectedly, as I thought I'd cancelled that slot. It was funny, but not as strong as the premiere. For the record, I thought the co-manager gig was ridiculous. Forget the 'value' of Jim. Michael has somehow (voodoo?) managed to run one of the most productive branches in the company, and they're going to F with that? And in a recession, with the business downsizing? Nuh-uh.
Lame.
For a few weeks I was hooked on SyFy's Eureka, which follows an everyday sheriff in a town full of government super-geniuses. Cute show, cute premise, but I soon tired of the formula.
Basically, the genius of the week will invent something magical that winds up posing a threat to the town. The crisis will be diverted not by luck or science, but by a seemingly random observation by the sheriff, something that could only be spotted by an Average Joe.
I'll still watch, but I don't count myself as a big fan.
* * *
On frequent rotation in my house: Doctor Who (aka the greatest sci-fi show ever).
* * *
Here's an odd glitch in my makeup. I can watch a game between two teams I've never seen before, sometimes playing a SPORT I've never seen before, and in minutes develop a vocal and partisan loyalty to one team.
Case in point: the championship game for Australian Rules Football, a mix of rugby and soccer I'd never knew existed. Last week I found myself watching it in the middle of the night when I was saddled with a toothache. Ten minutes in the rules of the game began to saturate my brain, and by the end of the match I was screaming when Geelong scored the go-ahead goal to finish off St Kilda.
Well played boys!
I did forget a few shows when I did my last write-up. My DVR scooped up the The Office unexpectedly, as I thought I'd cancelled that slot. It was funny, but not as strong as the premiere. For the record, I thought the co-manager gig was ridiculous. Forget the 'value' of Jim. Michael has somehow (voodoo?) managed to run one of the most productive branches in the company, and they're going to F with that? And in a recession, with the business downsizing? Nuh-uh.
Lame.
For a few weeks I was hooked on SyFy's Eureka, which follows an everyday sheriff in a town full of government super-geniuses. Cute show, cute premise, but I soon tired of the formula.
Basically, the genius of the week will invent something magical that winds up posing a threat to the town. The crisis will be diverted not by luck or science, but by a seemingly random observation by the sheriff, something that could only be spotted by an Average Joe.
I'll still watch, but I don't count myself as a big fan.
* * *
On frequent rotation in my house: Doctor Who (aka the greatest sci-fi show ever).
* * *
Here's an odd glitch in my makeup. I can watch a game between two teams I've never seen before, sometimes playing a SPORT I've never seen before, and in minutes develop a vocal and partisan loyalty to one team.
Case in point: the championship game for Australian Rules Football, a mix of rugby and soccer I'd never knew existed. Last week I found myself watching it in the middle of the night when I was saddled with a toothache. Ten minutes in the rules of the game began to saturate my brain, and by the end of the match I was screaming when Geelong scored the go-ahead goal to finish off St Kilda.
Well played boys!
Fantasy Football Wk 3
Some more good news tonight. After a vigorous contest that saw my team post 104.16 points - good enough to beat all but two teams in my league - I lost the game by a tenth of a point. A tenth of a bleepin' point.
That's right. I lost 104.26 to 104.16.
Bright side: the point total should move me up the standings among the 1-2 losers. Downside: I'm 1-2. Duh.
Everything you wanted to know about Canada but were afraid to ask!
While its intent was to get a laugh, this Rick Mercer clip from Feb 3rd (2009) taught me a lot about the convoluted workings of the Canadian government. From an outsiders perspective, I have to comment on what a whacky system they've put in place. It's worked for them so far, of course, but look at it from a distance and just try to justify it by saying "That's the right and proper way to go about it!".
On a less serious note, if you can ignore the canned laugh track, there are some funny lines, such as describing the Queen as "an elderly lady of German descent who lives in a castle across the ocean."
H/T Canadian Perspective
On a less serious note, if you can ignore the canned laugh track, there are some funny lines, such as describing the Queen as "an elderly lady of German descent who lives in a castle across the ocean."
H/T Canadian Perspective
Monday, September 28, 2009
Bad (car) news
If you have Lisa as a Facebook friend, then you've already heard. Her van, our primary means of transportation and the ONLY car we have big enough to fit everyone,is on the fritz. It ran fine all day ("like buttah" I foolishly jinxed us by saying) and then refused to move when Lisa tried to drive it home.
It starts, it revs, it doesn't move. It does rock forward in park, so it isn't a broken axle. I had someone look at it and the tenative diagnosis is a transmission. Approximate cost: $2100, 'round about $2090 more than we have on hand.
At the same time, my Escort is in dire need of exhaust work, and is barely functional in its current state. Lovely.
I do not know who we wronged in this universe to deserve all the crap that finds its way to our doorstep, but I'm sick of it. If it's you, kindly send us a postcard detailing the misdeed and we'll do our best to correct it.
Meanwhile, I'll have the van towed to a garage in the morning and see if the powertrain warranty is still in place . . .
It starts, it revs, it doesn't move. It does rock forward in park, so it isn't a broken axle. I had someone look at it and the tenative diagnosis is a transmission. Approximate cost: $2100, 'round about $2090 more than we have on hand.
At the same time, my Escort is in dire need of exhaust work, and is barely functional in its current state. Lovely.
I do not know who we wronged in this universe to deserve all the crap that finds its way to our doorstep, but I'm sick of it. If it's you, kindly send us a postcard detailing the misdeed and we'll do our best to correct it.
Meanwhile, I'll have the van towed to a garage in the morning and see if the powertrain warranty is still in place . . .
Uh, when do I find time to watch all these shows?
Dear Reader, before you read this and voice the opinion that I waste away my day as a couch potato, ck thyself. Lisa and I wake up at 6:30 a.m, get the kids off to school, continue on with work/kids/life, and only plop ourselves down in front of the tube after 10 o'clock at night.
It takes a certain panache to stay up until 2 in the morning everyday clearing out the DVR, thus leaving you a maximum of four hours of sleep a day, but as in all things, sometimes a sacrifice is necessary for the greater good :)
* * * *
I checked out the series premiere of Flash Forward and found it less than endearing. It's very reminiscent of Lost, almost Xerox-y in tone, but I found some of the acting blah and the holes in the plot pretty large. I'll probably give it another shot, but if in a few weeks it doesn't perk up, sayonara.
* * *
Fringe has returned, and I enjoyed the premiere quite a bit. One thing tho: that 'twist' at the end could be seen a mile away. If you were on the spot, wouldn't you have asked to check for those plug-marks in the palate, just to be sure?
* *
Glee continues to rock, and has established itself as one of my favorite shows on broadcast TV. Last weeks episode was LOL, and its good to see that the ridiculous pseudo-pregnancy is actually going to tie into a decent plot thread. WATCH THIS SHOW!!!
* * *
Out of the blue I've begun watching reruns of Medium. Yes, the teenager still calls her "Mommy", which is creepy, and the husband annoys me, but those are teeny complaints. Overall I think it's a good show, with solid scripts and decent acting.
I am still having trouble shaking a Mad TV parody that was spot-on, and which continues to make me giggle at the sound of Allison's voice :), but I've added the show to my DVR schedule.
* *
I won't be adding Ghost Whisperer. I gave it a one week shot, but ewww. The only bright spot is watching Jennifer Love Hewitt, but that's not enough to keep me watching.
* * *
I watched the lame Family Guy premiere, which included a single laugh-out-loud moment. In my humble opinion the show jumped the shark a few years back. And you know what? The constant anti-Christian jokes are pissing me off and makes me wish the Inquisition was still around. I think I'm done with this mess.
.
* * *
Project Runway is getting stronger as the weeks go by, but I still miss New York terribly. What was up with cutting Ra'mon and leaving one-note Louise in the competition? What an awful decision!
* * *
A&E's Hoarders is a reality show that showcases two compulsive hoarders each week, and offers them assistance in cleaning their house and getting psychological help. These people as sick, in a very literal sense, and watching the show you are both fascinated and repulsed.
It is heartbreaking to see 'normal', everyday folks live in a mouse filled house filled with trash and expired food, know that they had their kids taken away by the state and face city-mandated eviction, and yet be unable to throw away a used napkin because of their illness.
Hoarders can be seen on A&E on Mondays at 10/9 central.
* * * *
Argh, I'm sure I'm missing a show or two, believe it or not. But drop me a line, and let me know what you think of the one's I've listed here.
It takes a certain panache to stay up until 2 in the morning everyday clearing out the DVR, thus leaving you a maximum of four hours of sleep a day, but as in all things, sometimes a sacrifice is necessary for the greater good :)
* * * *
I checked out the series premiere of Flash Forward and found it less than endearing. It's very reminiscent of Lost, almost Xerox-y in tone, but I found some of the acting blah and the holes in the plot pretty large. I'll probably give it another shot, but if in a few weeks it doesn't perk up, sayonara.
* * *
Fringe has returned, and I enjoyed the premiere quite a bit. One thing tho: that 'twist' at the end could be seen a mile away. If you were on the spot, wouldn't you have asked to check for those plug-marks in the palate, just to be sure?
* *
Glee continues to rock, and has established itself as one of my favorite shows on broadcast TV. Last weeks episode was LOL, and its good to see that the ridiculous pseudo-pregnancy is actually going to tie into a decent plot thread. WATCH THIS SHOW!!!
* * *
Out of the blue I've begun watching reruns of Medium. Yes, the teenager still calls her "Mommy", which is creepy, and the husband annoys me, but those are teeny complaints. Overall I think it's a good show, with solid scripts and decent acting.
I am still having trouble shaking a Mad TV parody that was spot-on, and which continues to make me giggle at the sound of Allison's voice :), but I've added the show to my DVR schedule.
* *
I won't be adding Ghost Whisperer. I gave it a one week shot, but ewww. The only bright spot is watching Jennifer Love Hewitt, but that's not enough to keep me watching.
* * *
I watched the lame Family Guy premiere, which included a single laugh-out-loud moment. In my humble opinion the show jumped the shark a few years back. And you know what? The constant anti-Christian jokes are pissing me off and makes me wish the Inquisition was still around. I think I'm done with this mess.
.
* * *
Project Runway is getting stronger as the weeks go by, but I still miss New York terribly. What was up with cutting Ra'mon and leaving one-note Louise in the competition? What an awful decision!
* * *
A&E's Hoarders is a reality show that showcases two compulsive hoarders each week, and offers them assistance in cleaning their house and getting psychological help. These people as sick, in a very literal sense, and watching the show you are both fascinated and repulsed.
It is heartbreaking to see 'normal', everyday folks live in a mouse filled house filled with trash and expired food, know that they had their kids taken away by the state and face city-mandated eviction, and yet be unable to throw away a used napkin because of their illness.
Hoarders can be seen on A&E on Mondays at 10/9 central.
* * * *
Argh, I'm sure I'm missing a show or two, believe it or not. But drop me a line, and let me know what you think of the one's I've listed here.
Cops, guns, straw buyers, and cries of racism: Now what's going on on the South Side?
I saw this slogan on a bumper in front of me when I picked up my girls from school last week.
You can take my First Amendment when you pry my cold, dead hands off the Second
Although not a gun owner myself, I agree with the sentiment. So when I was driving near Miller Park I was surprised to see the following sign outside a local gun shop; so surprised I returned home to grab my camera.
Racist Milwaukee Police Dept is pulling over African Americans leaving this store. Sorry for the inconvenience
What the hell was that about?
The answer came in today's paper.
Badger Guns, once known as Badger Outdoors, has long been a high profile source of straw purchases - the practice of buying guns for criminals unable to legally purchase them on their own. From the late '90's on Badger was among the national - NATIONAL! - leaders in this practice, actually topping the charts in 2005.
Between January of 2006 and this month more than 1800 guns tied to the store have been used in the commision of a crime. By its lonesome, Badger Guns accounts for more than 1/3rd of all the weapons used in crimes here in Milwaukee. One third. The nearest competitor? Well, they take up a whole 3% of the citywide total. That's a wee bit fishy, no?
The final straw -no pun intended -was when two Milwaukee cops were shot and seriously wounded with a weapon tied to the store. Police Chief Ed Flynn, who for all his flaws has a knack for doing the needful regardless of political fallout, said enough was enough.
He authorized an ongoing stakeout of the gun shop, one that continues to snag straw buyers and felons using the establishment. "They know to whom they are selling, they know what is happening with their product, they know citizens in Milwaukee are dying, and they don't care." said Flynn.
"All we are asking is that they [Badger] be professional," [D.A. John] Chisholm said. "Their public service would be to do everything in their professional skill to prevent a sale to someone who will turn around and put that gun on the street to commit violence. They have the skill to do it. I suspect they choose not to do that more than they do."
As for the claims of racism? Noting that the majority of gun violence in Milwaukee involves African-American shooters and victims, Flynn isn't surprised that a majority of those arrested will fit that description. He says the owner of the store " . . . clearly doesn't care a damn about the demographics of dead Milwaukeeans," Flynn said. "To try to wrap himself as a victim of racism is not only absurd, it is obscene."
I'm going to have to side with the MPD here. Frankly, I'm surprised the shop hasn't been shut down by lawmakers, either by strict 'above the board' means or via the twists and turns at their disposal. If the place is flipping off the law and knowingly, or even just carelessly, allowing criminals to purchase guns for use in a crime, then screw 'em.
And Chief? Once again, kudos for doing what needs doing. It's so very odd to actually have a Milwaukee Police Chief worthy of respect.
UPDATE: Badger's owner has removed the sign.
You can take my First Amendment when you pry my cold, dead hands off the Second
Although not a gun owner myself, I agree with the sentiment. So when I was driving near Miller Park I was surprised to see the following sign outside a local gun shop; so surprised I returned home to grab my camera.
Racist Milwaukee Police Dept is pulling over African Americans leaving this store. Sorry for the inconvenience
What the hell was that about?
The answer came in today's paper.
Badger Guns, once known as Badger Outdoors, has long been a high profile source of straw purchases - the practice of buying guns for criminals unable to legally purchase them on their own. From the late '90's on Badger was among the national - NATIONAL! - leaders in this practice, actually topping the charts in 2005.
Between January of 2006 and this month more than 1800 guns tied to the store have been used in the commision of a crime. By its lonesome, Badger Guns accounts for more than 1/3rd of all the weapons used in crimes here in Milwaukee. One third. The nearest competitor? Well, they take up a whole 3% of the citywide total. That's a wee bit fishy, no?
The final straw -no pun intended -was when two Milwaukee cops were shot and seriously wounded with a weapon tied to the store. Police Chief Ed Flynn, who for all his flaws has a knack for doing the needful regardless of political fallout, said enough was enough.
He authorized an ongoing stakeout of the gun shop, one that continues to snag straw buyers and felons using the establishment. "They know to whom they are selling, they know what is happening with their product, they know citizens in Milwaukee are dying, and they don't care." said Flynn.
"All we are asking is that they [Badger] be professional," [D.A. John] Chisholm said. "Their public service would be to do everything in their professional skill to prevent a sale to someone who will turn around and put that gun on the street to commit violence. They have the skill to do it. I suspect they choose not to do that more than they do."
As for the claims of racism? Noting that the majority of gun violence in Milwaukee involves African-American shooters and victims, Flynn isn't surprised that a majority of those arrested will fit that description. He says the owner of the store " . . . clearly doesn't care a damn about the demographics of dead Milwaukeeans," Flynn said. "To try to wrap himself as a victim of racism is not only absurd, it is obscene."
I'm going to have to side with the MPD here. Frankly, I'm surprised the shop hasn't been shut down by lawmakers, either by strict 'above the board' means or via the twists and turns at their disposal. If the place is flipping off the law and knowingly, or even just carelessly, allowing criminals to purchase guns for use in a crime, then screw 'em.
And Chief? Once again, kudos for doing what needs doing. It's so very odd to actually have a Milwaukee Police Chief worthy of respect.
UPDATE: Badger's owner has removed the sign.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Off Season by Jack Ketchum
In the quiet Maine countryside a group of friends gather to enjoy a cabin in the woods. Unfortunately, a family of insane cannibals also lives in the area, and when they're hungry the local 7-11 just won't do. What follows is a horrendous night of violence and terror as the group fights to survive the attack; or, at least, die with their flesh still on their bones.
Off Season by Jack Ketchum is an "old" book, as paperbacks go, originally published in the early 1980's. That version was heavily redacted to remove violence and tweak the ending, and it's with great pride that Ketchum released the "new", original version of his novel.
If you've followed my writing you know that I don't care for so-called "torture-porn" genre of horror, and dismiss the Saw and Hostel franchises accordingly. So it's odd that I give this gory little book a thumbs-up, but . . .
Ketchum might have one or two screws loose, but the guy has a flair for carrying a story. Sometimes his voice is so smooth your mind blots out the subject matter. I'd read a chapter, put the book down and then say to myself: "Hey, wait a minute! Did I just read a two page recipe for curing and jerking human thigh? How the hell did that slip by me?"
There is a gruesome and slow death near the end that was almost too much to bear [ugh, just shivered remembering it] but all in all, despite the gore it was much better than expected.
2.7 out of 4. Note: I did not read the short story included as an extra in the book.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Grandparents Day 2009
Today was Grandparents Day at school. I'm not sure why this was such a big thrill to LuLu and YaYa, as they see our parents all the time, but this morning you'd have thought it was '64 and the Beatles were coming to pay a call. Seriously.
[I just yelled to Lu in the other room: "How was Grandparents Day?" Her answer "Awesome!!"]
Anyhow, my Dad attended, as did my mother-in-law and my wife's stepfather. (My Mom did not attend due to mobility issues.) There was a Mass, followed by classroom visits that included demonstrations and activities, and snacks.
YaYa demanded that she accompany both Grandpa's, because "they always have to go to the bathroom, and then I get to walk them there." In the end she traded off with Lu, who spent much of the time with her Grandma.
Thanks to everyone who showed up to display their love for my girls! (all photos courtesy of my Mother-in-law; because of this, she doesn't appear in any of them!)
LuLu: "This is my graph for everyone. I'm pointing to me and I am the one in the blue dress and not the one in the purple. And I'm the third one, the third. It was very fun, we did it in social studies in my room with the other class too, cause there were a lot of people cuz we only have 11 people in our class. I like trains but I never been on one so I'd really like to, cuz I like them, cuz I've only been on a fake one with Grandma Jeannie. It was a real train, but now its a fake one for people to ride around in a circle, and I did it with Bella my friend. "
[I just yelled to Lu in the other room: "How was Grandparents Day?" Her answer "Awesome!!"]
Anyhow, my Dad attended, as did my mother-in-law and my wife's stepfather. (My Mom did not attend due to mobility issues.) There was a Mass, followed by classroom visits that included demonstrations and activities, and snacks.
YaYa demanded that she accompany both Grandpa's, because "they always have to go to the bathroom, and then I get to walk them there." In the end she traded off with Lu, who spent much of the time with her Grandma.
Thanks to everyone who showed up to display their love for my girls! (all photos courtesy of my Mother-in-law; because of this, she doesn't appear in any of them!)
LuLu: "This is my graph for everyone. I'm pointing to me and I am the one in the blue dress and not the one in the purple. And I'm the third one, the third. It was very fun, we did it in social studies in my room with the other class too, cause there were a lot of people cuz we only have 11 people in our class. I like trains but I never been on one so I'd really like to, cuz I like them, cuz I've only been on a fake one with Grandma Jeannie. It was a real train, but now its a fake one for people to ride around in a circle, and I did it with Bella my friend. "
Fido
In the world of Fido, mankind has waged an all-out war against zombies and achieved a questionable victory. Our cities are safe, cordoned off from 'the wild', but zombies roam free over much of America. .
No matter. In the movie's 1950's era suburbia captive zombies are trained to be butlers, maids, and to perform menial jobs. They're the perfect working class, so long as their restraint collars are in place.
Sadly, Fido's collar slips one day and he consumes part of an elderly woman in the park. Young Timmy Robinson sees the carnage but acts to protect his zombie playmate and hides the deed. Soon the woman rises as a zombie herself and begins what becomes a zombie plague on the town.
Thankfully, Timmy's Mom has developed a bit of a crush on Fido and joins in the attempts to save him from harm. Her position is understandable. Her husband is emotionally distant, and has a phobia about zombies ever since he killed his own (zombified) father.
Will the Robinson's save Fido, or will they themselves be exiled to the wild? Tune in and find out.
This film is a hoot.
It's a comedy, start to finish, and at times it's laugh out loud. When it's not, you still have a smile on your face. It's kitchy and intelligent, anachronistic but well-drawn.
You really have to see it.
3.4 out of 4
What Dreams May Come
What Dreams May Come is billed as a 'novel', one adapted into an award winning Robin Williams movie in the '90's, and there is indeed a whiff of a storyline. But let's cut to the chase: in reality this is as much a novel as I am a Samoan hockey player.The book is told in the first person by Chris Nielsen, a recently deceased father and husband who channels his words via a medium. He dies, is lost in a fog for a minute, then moves on to 'Summerland', a here-after created by thought. In Summerland humans still hold jobs and deal with the issues of their lives - a sort of non-denominational Purgatory if you will.
Lo and behold his wife Anne cannot live without him, as they are, naturally, just the most romantic and in-tune couple in history dontcha know, and she commits suicide. For this act she is sent to the equivalent of hell, and Chris sets out to find her and bring her back into Summerland.
I don't feel right reviewing this book because it isn't a novel, it's a thinly disguised religious tract for whatever combination of beliefs Matheson holds dear.
True, I think the beliefs pushed by the book are by and large bunk, but that's me; I don't care what others believe and it wouldn't necessarily ruin the book for me. Even if this book were detailing Catholic dogma blow for blow I'd have been irritated and bored.
It reads like one of those little Evangelical comic books you find left behind in public places. As with those tracts, the goal isn't to entertain, it's to dryly hit you over the head with someone else's beliefs.
"How is it made?"
"By the imposition of mental imagery on the
ideoplastic medium of your aura."
-pg 92
According to the afterward, people have been known to weep after reading this book. I'd imagine so. After all, it is quite a chore to plow through.
An awful waste of time; avoid this drivel.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Alice in Chains - Sept 20th
This past Sunday I saw the resurgent Alice in Chains at the Eagles Ballroom here in Milwaukee.
I know some fans view the William Duvall era an affront to the memory of Layne Staley and classic AIC, but I disagree. I first saw this lineup at an acoustic show here in '07, and while Layne will always be the king, Will is a legit talent. Staley was then. Duvall is now. I wish Staley was still walking the earth, but life goes on for the rest of us.
Their set opened with Rain When I Die. The moment that dark, unrepentant dirge thundered out from the stage . . . man, it was the '90's all over again, and F any lead singer controversy. Alice in Chains was present and accounted for, and every bit as hard as ever.
The venue was packed with a predominantly male crowd between 21-40 years old.
By the second song a mosh pit had formed and some folks were crowd surfing. I tapped my buddy, nodded to the frenzy at the foot of the stage, and said "C'mon, let's go!". He laughed and we stayed put.
The highlights of the evening, for me, were Angry Chair and Would? . Check my Brain, their new single, didn't make an impression on me one way or another in concert. Driving home today, however, I heard it on the radio, instantly recognized it as AIC, and proclaimed it damn good.
A great concert. I've seen AIC twice now; I look forward to the hat trick.
I know some fans view the William Duvall era an affront to the memory of Layne Staley and classic AIC, but I disagree. I first saw this lineup at an acoustic show here in '07, and while Layne will always be the king, Will is a legit talent. Staley was then. Duvall is now. I wish Staley was still walking the earth, but life goes on for the rest of us.
Their set opened with Rain When I Die. The moment that dark, unrepentant dirge thundered out from the stage . . . man, it was the '90's all over again, and F any lead singer controversy. Alice in Chains was present and accounted for, and every bit as hard as ever.
The venue was packed with a predominantly male crowd between 21-40 years old.
By the second song a mosh pit had formed and some folks were crowd surfing. I tapped my buddy, nodded to the frenzy at the foot of the stage, and said "C'mon, let's go!". He laughed and we stayed put.
The highlights of the evening, for me, were Angry Chair and Would? . Check my Brain, their new single, didn't make an impression on me one way or another in concert. Driving home today, however, I heard it on the radio, instantly recognized it as AIC, and proclaimed it damn good.
A great concert. I've seen AIC twice now; I look forward to the hat trick.
Smiley's Homework
Last week I told you about the latest fad in the Slapinions household, a crazy obsession with inch-long animals made out of hard foam. You can find them at the dollar store, and when you immerse them in water overnight they grow like a Gremlin.
I thought the gimmick would pass, but as I type this I have a kettle of water on my dining room floor (turtle and starfish) and a pair of mixing bowls and two large kettles in the living room (chock full of various foam animals).
I haven't been able to cook spaghetti in weeks.
Smiley begged me for a foam starfish for days, in his peculiar Smiley talk that in this case would be indecipherable to anyone but us. I finally relented. Here's a picture of it after a couple hours in the water.
And a few hours after that.
Anyhow, Little Man had a homework assignment. Each month it's assigned to the family, and you're supposed to complete it with him. For September he was supposed to fill in the outline of a gingerbread man with pictures of things that were important in defining who he is or what he likes right now.
This afternoon Smiley went outside on his own, rummaged through our van, and came back with the packaging from one of the animals. Ok, whatever. I continued with a fine episode of Match Game '77. A few minutes later he brought me the homework sheet and his handiwork. On his own, he'd decided to cut out each of the animals advertised on the package and use them on the sheet. I was bowled over that he thought of it and praised him to no end. Here was the end result.
Here's what defines him in September of 2009: those foam animals, mac 'n cheese, Spongebob Squarepants, football, hot dogs, his sisters, pizza, Elmo, Spiderman, Chuck E Cheese, and Caillou.
Caillou is currently both his favorite TV show and web site. He can navigate the games on the Caillou page with ease, and never fails to get excited and say "me fouw two" when Caillou states his age in the show's theme song.
The bald kid's nothing new to us, as YaYa was a HUGE Caillou fan. I used to joke that we should have named her Caillou Andromeda (inside joke) but it seemed to skip Lu. Glad to see Smiley's resurrected the tradition.
I thought the gimmick would pass, but as I type this I have a kettle of water on my dining room floor (turtle and starfish) and a pair of mixing bowls and two large kettles in the living room (chock full of various foam animals).
I haven't been able to cook spaghetti in weeks.
Smiley begged me for a foam starfish for days, in his peculiar Smiley talk that in this case would be indecipherable to anyone but us. I finally relented. Here's a picture of it after a couple hours in the water.
And a few hours after that.
Anyhow, Little Man had a homework assignment. Each month it's assigned to the family, and you're supposed to complete it with him. For September he was supposed to fill in the outline of a gingerbread man with pictures of things that were important in defining who he is or what he likes right now.
This afternoon Smiley went outside on his own, rummaged through our van, and came back with the packaging from one of the animals. Ok, whatever. I continued with a fine episode of Match Game '77. A few minutes later he brought me the homework sheet and his handiwork. On his own, he'd decided to cut out each of the animals advertised on the package and use them on the sheet. I was bowled over that he thought of it and praised him to no end. Here was the end result.
Here's what defines him in September of 2009: those foam animals, mac 'n cheese, Spongebob Squarepants, football, hot dogs, his sisters, pizza, Elmo, Spiderman, Chuck E Cheese, and Caillou.
Caillou is currently both his favorite TV show and web site. He can navigate the games on the Caillou page with ease, and never fails to get excited and say "me fouw two" when Caillou states his age in the show's theme song.
The bald kid's nothing new to us, as YaYa was a HUGE Caillou fan. I used to joke that we should have named her Caillou Andromeda (inside joke) but it seemed to skip Lu. Glad to see Smiley's resurrected the tradition.
"The Landlord" by Will Ferrell - "You Pay Now . . B**ch!"
Click HERE to watch the sketch on Funny or Die. Adult language is involved. Duh. :)
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are hanging out at Will Ferrell’s house. Adam McKay is reading an issue of Vogue Magazine and Will Ferrell is rummaging in the refrigerator for something to drink.Adam McKay: So, it says here that Madonna is reinventing herself again. Hey, did you get that letter from the doctor yet?Will Ferrell: I did.Adam McKay: What did it say?Will Ferrell: My dad’s gay.Adam McKay: I knew it. Those blood tests don’t lie man.Will Ferrell shakes his head in agreement. There is a knock at the door.Adam McKay: Who’s that?The screen goes black and white text reading “the LANDLORD” is displayed. Will Ferrell can be heard speaking.Will Ferrell: It’s my landlord, Pearl.The image returns to Adam McKay. There is another knock on the doorWill Ferrell: I’m late on my rent.Adam McKay: Oh, I’m getting out of here, man. She’s nasty.Will Ferrell: No, no, no, please, I need you to stay.Will Ferrell goes to answer the door.Adam McKay: This is going to be ugly.Will Ferrell opens the door to reveal a very small girl that is only a few years old. She yells at Will Ferrell.Pearl McKay: Where’s the rent?Will Ferrell: You don’t have to raise your voice.Pearl McKay: You pay now!Will Ferrell: I can give you half.Pearl McKay: You pay…now, bitch!Will Ferrell: Hey, don’t talk to me like that, okay.Pearl McKay: I’m tired of this crap.Will Ferrell: Look, I…I thought I was clear in my email, I need a couple weeks.Pearl McKay: I work too hard…Will Ferrell: Can I just get two more weeks?Pearl McKay: I want my money!Will Ferrell: You need to relax.Pearl McKay: You’re an asshole.Will Ferrell: Uh-uh! (Shakes his head in the negative.)Pearl McKay: I want my money, bitch.Will Ferrell: Hey don’t call me bitch! I’m a grown man!Pearl McKay: Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.Will Ferrell: God, you’re mean.Will Ferrell starts crying and Pearl McKay begins laughing at him.Will Ferrell: Hey, don’t make fun of me crying.Pearl McKay: You’ll be evicted.Will Ferrell: I’m not doing so good, Pearl.Pearl McKay: I put you on the streets.Will Ferrell: Pearl, I’m gonna pay you. I’m working three jobs right now. I’m working nights. I’m driving a cab. I’m inside with my buddy right now, just going over my resume.Pearl McKay: I’m gonna smack you.Will Ferrell: Okay, you know what? You need to relax.Pearl McKay: I want my money!!!Will Ferrell: Look, why do you need your money so fast? Come on.Pearl McKay: I need to get my drink on.Will Ferrell: You scare me. You’re an alcoholic.Pearl McKay: Can I have 4 beers?Will Ferrell: Seriously, you are an alcoholic.Pearl McKay falls down on the front step.Will Ferrell: Yeah you’re drunk. I knew it. You’re already drunk.Pearl McKay: I’m just buzzed.Will Ferrell: You know, you’re in…you’re in no condition to deal with this right now.Pearl McKay starts to walk away and a bottle of beer is in her hand.Pearl McKay: I’m taking my beer.Will Ferrell: Just take your beer and get out of here, okay. Yeah, we’ll talk tomorrow. This isn’t over.Pearl McKay: (Looks back at Will Ferrell) Come, mommy.Will Ferrell: Jesus.Will Ferrell closes his door fearfully and the screen cuts to black.
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