The One about the Name Change - November 9th

I've decided to change my name to Dante.

Not legally, of course. First off I don't have the money for such folly, and second, changing my name by adding a mere two letters seems like more trouble then what it's worth. I'm not even sure it adds a syllable - it looks like it should have two, but when you hear it spoken, it walks a subtle line.

These are the thoughts that consume my free time.

No, I'm simply going to give in an accept 'Dante' as a nickname, as proof that I am, in fact, living the life of the guy from Clerks.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it follows a guy named Dante through a single day on the job behind the counter of a convenience store.

Dante is intelligent and educated, yet works a low paying, no-respect job where he deals with misfits and idiots. Life seems to find a way to smack him around without ever landing that knockout blow, a la Charlie Brown. He recognizes his misfortune, yet is unable or unwilling to alter his life. He is, ultimately, defined by his job title: a clerk.

But, on the bright side, he does get a small discount on Cheetos.

I am (arguably) somewhat better situated in life. Certainly the parallels in our personal life have tapered over the years, as I am happily married and surrounded by kids. And where Dante and I once shared thick, dark hair and a goatee, I am reduced to just the 'dark' and the goatee.

[Shaving the goatee does nothing to change our karma, for we truly are blood brothers: clean, shaven, we're both in dire need of chin implants.]

Sure, I could change things. I could land a better job, invent a car that runs on water, or actually get paid for writing. But then I wouldn't have stories like these:

Take Saturday, when my wife had a flat tire. I took it to the service station and returned to find they'd 'fixed' the wrong tires. When I asked how they could replace a perfectly good tire while leaving a flat on the car, I was told that the work order specifically said "passenger front". That's what the other guy typed in, so that's what he changed. Now sign the bill, Dante.

Or today, when for the first time in my life I ran out of gas in mywife's car. It's bad enough when you have to push a station wagon down a busy street. It's worse when you can't get it up the hill at the entrance to the gas station, and feel the wagon and your insurance rates slipping slowly back into traffic. Worse still is when you succeed in pushing it to the pump, only to realize the gas cap's on the other side. Or, after all that trouble, spending a fortune to fill the beast only to have it refuse to start, then having your cell phone die and the station attendant refuse to let you make a call.

We are brothers, Dante.

Now, I am reasonably certain that I can change things, even at this late date. And I might have to, for two reasons.

One, they're making a sequel to Clerks, and just in case Dante's gone big money, I'd hate to be left behind.

And two, if I don't my wife just might make do on her threats to leave me.

But I doubt it.

Being married to Dante's the closest thing she has to sleeping with a movie star.

The One about the Pimentel Rant - November 7th

On October 27th, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel endorsed John Kerry for President.

For anyone familiar with the paper, this was about as shocking as finding out that Christmas is scheduled for December 25th, so I can't claim to be too outraged.

But I was impressed by the lengths MJS went to assure its readers it was making an informed, objective decision. While skewering his record, the endorsement called Bush a decent man who never deliberately misled the nation, and a man with a "big heart" who just wasn't as good a choice as his opposition.

As I said, I was impressed. I didn't buy any of their attempts at appearing bipartisan, but I was impressed by their efforts.

Unfortuantely, their claim to the high ground lasted only ten days. Immersed in a deep fugue over Kerry's loss, MJS editorial page editor O. Ricaardo Pimentel decided to empty both barrels in the Saturday November 6th edition.

"[The President's] campaign . . . might be the most dishonest we've ever seen, in keeping with a first term that fits the description as well." Ouch. What about the somber claim of the editorial 'we' (of which Pimentel is 1/9th) that Bush never deliberately lied to the country? Well, maybe Pimentel was just letting off some steam. Then again, we go on to read the following:

"The president who pretty obviously dodged war as a youth . . ."

"The campaign against Sen. John Kerry was just one big Willie Horton ad . .." (nice touch, bringing in the whole 'Bush dynasty' issue.)

"We were sold a bill of goods [on Iraq]"…

"[Bush voters presume]the guy whose blunders have made us less safe is the guy to make us safe."

"the willingness of so many Americans to swallow all of this is [breathtaking] …More than that, it is frightening."

Now, I could give a Kerry bumper sticker over what Pimentel does or does not believe. He can have his opinion, and he is entitled to express it.

But I'm drawn back to that endorsement of Oct. 27th, and in particular to a note from the editor that accompanied it. Martin Kaiser, MJS's editor, wrote the following: "There is a wall of separation between the newsroom and the Editorial Board. As editor, I enforce this wall. No reporters who cover the news . . . participate in the discussions that dictate Editorial Board decisions."

Neat-o. But a crock.

I do not believe for one second that a reporter can do anything more than try to separate his work from his personal views. I believe that most do try. But I think their attempts are doomed to fail in a professional culture whose editorial and administrative climate not only condone but embrace the left-of center views of their reporters.

And yes, the problem cuts both ways. Whether true or not, Fox has become tied to its reputation as the 'conservative' network. That has hurt its credibility, and when faced with attacks from the left they step further to the right. I can't imagine that's good for the profession.

There's no easy solution of course. I would encourage young, smart conservatives to try journalism, but too often they wind up pigeon-holed on the editorial page or on talk radio. As a consumer, I'd advocate taking in as many news sources as possible, and making up your own mind.

And take notice when journalists fail to even try to be objective. Like the edition that followed Pimentel's rant, where the editorial, written presumably by college graduates, began "mandate, schmandate."

Charming.

November 3rd, 2004

Thanks …..go out to everyone who put up with my emails, ESPECIALLY those who used them as intended and passed them on to undecided voters. A special thanks to everyone who helped out in person, and to Sarah for getting her voice heard in the Journal. And the biggest thanks of all to Lisa, for putting up with my usual election year obsessions. J

A favor…..anyone set to toss out your Bush signs (window or lawn) or ditch your buttons and unused bumper stickers, throw them my way. I’d like to save one of each style.

I’m not going to gloat ….really, I’m not. Going into this thing I couldn’t have guaranteed a victory. Hell, I couldn’t have guaranteed it three hours after the polls closed. That tempers any victory dance I might otherwise have done – publicly. Besides, I’ve matured somewhat with parenthood. I certainly would have handled it better than many of the web bloggers I followed during the election, who have already announced concrete plans to move to Europe.

I would have stood by John Kerry if he’d won Tuesday. Hated it, but stood by him.

But I’ll tell you what. Just when the American people seem ready to piss on your idealism and bow to pessimism, media bias, and a good sound byte, they surprise you. They think for themselves and make the right call. November 2nd gave me yet another reason to be proud of this country and its people.

An electoral victory that included two state pickups from 2000, if and when Iowa is finally called for Bush. A popular vote total that was the largest ever, and the first victor to claim more than 50% of the vote in sixteen years. An increase in Republican governors, and increases to our majority in the House and Senate – including the defeat of the Democratic Minority Leader.

By anyone’s account, Republcian or Democrat, it was a resounding mandate for President Bush and the GOP.

Does this guarantee victory in the future? No. Does it give us the right to push through whatever we want regardless of political reality? No. The Democrats will use the GOP majority against itself, obstructing whenever possible and trying to tie any negative item into something they can use in ’08. I can hear it now: “How can you elect them again? Look, they didn’t do anything in the last four years. And that (inevitable) terrorist attack – do you think that would have happened if the Republicans didn’t run congress?.”

But I’ll tell youwhat. If I was still a Democrat, as I was until ’92, I’d be crushed. They fought successfully to label this the ‘most important election of our lifetime’. They enlisted billionaries like George Soros to fund shadow 527 organizations to hammer at Bush, while the liberal media did the same. Celebrities like Drew Barrymore, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, and P Diddy rallied to the cause. Michael Moore’s lies struck home for many. They launched two pathetic but well publisized Halloween surprises against the White House.The grassroots folks did their job, creating massive voter turnout.

And they lost. Big.

If I was still a Democrat I’d look at the map and say to myself, this country is divided. Not between Bush and Democrat, but rural and urban, normal everday folks and the more liberal coasts. You can no longer win by banking soley on taking the tea-sipping northeast and their west coast cousins, not even when the Midwest falls in line. To have any chance to win they need to go back to a candidate that appeals to the rural, blue-collar, socially conservative bloc of swing voters that make up the elecoral and popular majority of this nation.

BTW, that someone isn’t Hilary. She’ll take the same states Kerry did, but I can’t see her taking Alabama, Nebraska, and the like It would be a repeat of ’00 and ’04. If she wins the nomination in ’08, it’s a mistake for the Democrats.

Ah well, why worry. It’s all already written in your great-great grandson’s history books. It just hasn’t been published yet.

 

In Wisconsin . . .I’m embarrassed. Thirty years and eight elections and I have yet to have Wisconsin agree with my votes. (Remember, I cried when Mondale lost)

We lost two counties we won in ’00 and still lost by only 17,000 votes. Madison and Milwaukee continue to tip the scales, and a good deal of that (although NOT 17,000 votes worth) is probably due to incorrect or fraudulent voter registration. I need to show an ID to get a library card or buy a pack of cigarettes if I was still under 30, and yet I can have my buddy ‘vouch’ for me and I can vote? Come on. The argument foolishly put forth by Eugene Kane – that black males drive but don’t get their licenses, or any ID – isn’t good enough. Reform voter registration issues before it bites us all in the ass.

When the next election comes, I think we need to do three things:

* First, have a consistent and long running door to door campaign that isn’t confined to Oct and November;

*second, work on continuing our outreach to voters of color who are taken for granted by the rich white males of the DNC;

*and third, work on making inroads into the vast Democratic network that protects the DNC at the local political level. How many Milwaukee offices were up for election Tuesday, and there was only one candidate – a Dem – up for the job? We cannot enact meaningful election reform, or ensure our rights are secure, if one and only one party is continuously in power for more than a half century. This third point, I estimate, would take ~16 to 20 years if we begin with the ’08 campaign. Long term folks, but remember, everything that the GOP has accomplished in the last 20 years started with the discussions after the Goldwater defeat of ’64. Things like that are methodical and take time, but they are worth it.

 

That’s it. No more political blatter for at least two years. I will work to dispose of Gov. Doyle, not because of his party affiliation but because I honest and truly believe he’s a crooked and creepy piece of shit. J

In ’08, I reckon I’ll slug away at the Presidential election again, but mabye not. A large part of the last two elections boils down to my sincere affection and respect for the Bush family. I grew up hearing endless tales of Camelot and JFK from my folks – well, W is my Kennedy. I don’t know if I’ll have the same gumption in ’08, although this stuff is addictive.

[if McCain runs, I almost certainly will hold back. There’s something wrong with that guy, behind that calm, bipartisan demeanor. I don’t trust him]

Oh, one more thing:

 

Michael Moore, Hollywood, Dan Rather, and Old Europe:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoy the next four years, and a royal FUCK YOU and good night.