The Post where I waste an afternoon defending Paula Abdul May 5th

Last night was this couch potato’s dream day. A brand new episode of Lost, and American Idol, and to top it off, the hour-long Primetime Live special on Paula Abdul, “Fallen Idol”.

The special accuses Paula of having an affair with a former contestant, Corey Clark, who in addition to more biblical rewards received special coaching, cash, and a cell phone.

Now I could waste 700 words on why, even if true, this didn’t affect the result of the show. Corey Clark had enough talent to make it to the top ten by his lonesome, viewers do the actual voting from that point on, no one listens to Paula’s too-lenient judging anyway, and ‘twas nobody that was about to outlast the tag-team of Reuben and Clay.

Of course that doesn’t change the fact that in theory, the show’s integrity was breached.

I don’t know if the allegation is true, but if it is, I didn’t see the proof of it last night.

For starters, Corey’s motives are pretty transparent. He has a CD coming out and managed to con ABC into showing him in the recording studio more than a few times. He has a beef against the show (he was kicked off after it was revealed he’d lied about his arrest record), and has stated he’ll refuse to aid any Fox investigation. One minute - one minute - after the show ended his tell-all book appeared for sale online.

So he’s an opportunistic creep, and at best a not very trustworthy lover.

But is he a liar?

Five years ago I’d have had more faith in the research of a major network, but after Rathergate those days are past. Remember, AI is burying the other networks (like ABC) in its timeslot.

Long on story but short on evidence, with leading questions and cheap theatrical stunts, it reminded me more of Inside Edition than anything put out by ABC News.

The facts, as presented in the story:

Phone records from Clark’s home to a number purported to be Paula’s Whether it was her phone number or not was never mentioned; I guess we’re supposed to assume they checked into that.

A cash receipt from a clothing store. Yikes, that’s the nail in the coffin.

A clerk(s?) at a Sprint PCS store, never seen on camera, alleges that Paula accompanied Corey to activate a phone. Corey says numerous times the affair was top-secret, and that no one could know they were seeing each other. So why risk it all for something as simple as getting a phoneturned on?

With AI’s exclusive contract with Sprints competition, why did/would Paula bother with a different company when odds are she had phone service for free? Remember, Corey implied she had Sprint prior to getting his phone - not to avoid detection.

(personal note: as a Sprint customer, let me just say: I trust the word of a typical Sprint clerk as much as I do, oh, that drunk on the corner who swears the money he’s asking for will go towards a good meal)

A liquid prescription bottle with Paula’s name on it. Assuming he didn’t go dumpster diving, I’d like proof it was hers. I can go to a clinic and get a prescription in the name of Genghis Khan if I pay in cash.

[And what was with those seven AI cast-offs that were brought it and nudged and prodded towards embarrassing themselves on TV? Note to crybabies: you lost because you weren’t as good a singer as the rest, not because of any scandal. Geesh. Their self-pity and inflated egos match, well - my own.]

Maybe the thugarific Corey, his equally thuggish friends, and his fine upstanding family (who agreed to ‘cover up the affair’ but allege they were dead-set against it from the start) are telling the truth.

Maybe they are. It’s possible - it may even be probable.

But 60 minutes of poorly done fluff did nothing to prove it to me.

ABC should be embarrassed.

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