MJS Entry

Ok, what follows is a lesson in how NOT to audition for a writing job. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel held their second annual open audition for columnists. Unlike last year, when I did my dangdest and still feel miffed at losing out, I barely paid attention to the contest. My wife and Dad kept encouraging me, but until the last day I didn't even have a word typed out.

And this, my friends, is one of two sorry a** examples of how rusty, unmotivated, and lousy I can write when the mood strikes me.

Like most Milwaukee natives, my opinion on the Parks system is strangely contradictory.

On one hand, I’m proud of the vast expanses of green and timber that help break up the monotony of city life.

More often however, I take the parks and what they mean to the city for granted. To be honest, most days I tune them out as I drive by, almost as if they didn’t exist at all.

Judging by the current state of the parks, as detailed in the recent Journal-Sentinel series on their future, that last part might be dangerously close to reality.

You’d think I’d pay more attention, since almost every memory I have involves a park. I grew up across from Pulaski, saw concerts in Wilson with my grandfather, played in Kosciusko (and like many kids, argued about the pronunciation. To me, it’s Ka Shoe Ko. Sue me.).

I marched in parades at Humboldt, proposed to my wife at Sheridan, take my kids to play at Copernicus and Burnham, used Washington as a landmark daily for a year, and camped at Whitnall.

And yet, other than noting my wife’s complaint that the restrooms at the park were locked last weekend, I didn’t have a clue they were in trouble. If you’d asked me, I’d have told you the biggest crisis facing our park system were the blasted geese and the droppings they left behind.

(note to the reader: once this current crisis is over, we have to talk about the geese. I genuinely hate them. If I was a vegetarian, they’d make me want a steak).

Ponds are full of lime and weeds, windows are broken, pavilions are locked, attractions like the Domes are curbing maintenance, pools are in danger of closing, and the only real publicity of late has been the horrifying shooting at South Shore.

So what to do?

Money. The Journal-Sentinel proposes a quarter of a percent sales tax with revenue to go directly into the park system.

If the parks were new, or looking to expand, I would welcome the tax. It would be well worth it, for myself and the community.

And yet, as columnist Patrick McIlheran points out, only 8% of my county taxes - taxes paid in one of the most heavily taxed cities in one of the most heavily taxed states - goes towards the park system.

As recently as 20 years ago, a full 29% went to the parks.

No doubt social services have eaten part of the missing 21%, as Milwaukee’s population continues to fall victim to the suburbs, and those that remain share more of a burden with less ability to pay.

But I too have to look to the County pension scandals of recent years and wonder if this is a case of shifting priorities - or just shifting the blame.

Would adding to our overwhelming tax burden genuinely help the parks, or help the next round of crooks line their pockets?

If you think I’m paranoid, then you haven’t lived here long enough.

Mayor Barrett has already publicized his belief that any tax increase must do more than help ‘only’ the parks. To my biased ears, that reeks of more than just ‘mission creep’; it says to me that this is just another hackneyed attempt to fuel an oversized, unproductive local government.

It’s one of the few reasons that this life-long Milwaukeean would ever consider leaving the city.

That and, you know, the weather.

And why an add-on to the sales tax? Recently the Common Council spoke of taxing cigarettes to pay for ‘costs’ incurred by the city. It was, to put it mildly, a ridiculous and hypocritical idea, with most of the ‘costs’ sounding suspiciously like poppycock, but if there is going to be a park tax why not make take it from this (or any of a hundred) other tax ideas our politicians spend their career?

If there is to be a sales tax, fine. But prove it to me.

Prove to me that there’s no other way, that union raises, managerial incompetence, and political whitewash play no part in the decay of a once proud institution.

Prove it to me, and I’ll gladly pay the tax.