7 Below

Quite possibly one of the worst mainstream movies ever released to the public: Seven Below, a 'horror' film starring Val Kilmer and Ving Rhames. There are some spoilers ahead, in the sense that it mentions scenes in the movie, but praise be to God you never rent this dreck, so read on.

I'm not sure there was a plot, but if there was I missed it, and I sure as hell didn't understand - literally DID NOT UNDERSTAND much of the last half hour of film. The acting was bad, the situations and characters ludicrous (a guy dies & his Dr. *isn't sure* if the handmarks around his neck were there when he was examined an hour ago. C'mon, that's a joke right? Right?). Plus, I still have no bleeping clue what the title means. 

Oh, oh, the best bit!: the characters say they are going to the garage for supplies, which is just what I'd stop and do if a murderous ghost wanted me dead with a ferocious urgency. They enter the garage, mill about for a minute without speaking, find some flashlights, and leave. The next group of characters enters, fiddles around quietly, finds some flashlights, and leaves. The camera lingers on the empty garage and . . . next scene. 

Three or four minutes of absa-freaking-lutely nothing happening on camera. Jeez louise, this ain't a new medium bub. Bleepin' watch a film before you try making one. 

Grade: F