google.com, pub-4909507274277725, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slapinions: May 2013

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Friday, May 31, 2013

Earworm

Since hearing it this morning, Smiley has been singing "Brass Monkey"

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Dang you Homer Bailey and your 3 2/3 inning, 7 run outing. Your bad day may just tip the tables against me in a close week of fantasy baseball.

Andrew Greeley

RIP Father Andrew M. Greeley, one of my Dad's favorite authors, age 85.
The iconic Scoutmaster of the kids school died unexpedely today. RIP Vern S.

A nightmare I had earlier this week

So here’s the nightmare.

We’re all sitting on folding chairs around the perimeter of a dance studio – pale blonde floor, mirrored walls etc. It’s my family and another one with kids of nearly identical age, plus a middle school age boy who seemed to be a ward of ours. It was casual, friendly conversation, and then the boy tried on a gift from the other family – a pale blue uniform shirt for school. Only it was obviously meant for a girl; ruffled sleeves and frilly neckline.

I mocked the shirt in good humor, not knowing at the time it was a gift from the other family, then apologized sincerely. I went out to our car, stating I knew we had a proper uniform shirt somewhere. I dug through the car with no luck.

When I returned to the room I couldn’t find Lu, or the girl the same age from the other family. We couldn’t find them at all.

Cut to a few days later. My brother in law and his wife are walking with me towards the entrance of the studio, now seen as a white cinderblock building with a steel door and a chain link fence around the parking area. The sky is an odd color. My brother in law is blowing off her disappearance, saying she must have ran off, and in response I blow him off with a curt word.

Then I am somewhere else, face to face with an evil man who knows something of her whereabouts. He is not the perpetrator of the act, but he knows of it. He states that one of the two girls has already been killed – I react with fear, and relax visibly when he says it was the other girl and that Lu is still alive.

“See how far your Christian concern goes,” the man said, gloating. “You don’t care about that other girl at all, so long as your child is allright.”

I didn’t bother disputing this. “You’re right, my daughter means more to me than someone else’s child. I’m human. But don’t you dare think you’re going to get away with hurting that girl.”

The man laughed and for some reason pricked my finger to ID me. As the little GPS sized gizmo sized up my blood, it flashed scenes of worlds exploding, of rivers of lava, of action and destruction. Finally the result: the readout read “The Doctor”, and the man gasped.

Cut again, this time to the same geographic area, but now in chaos. I have done what the Doctor does, wreaked havoc and mayhem. I am running up a very steep hill covered in trees stripped of their leaves.  Someone is at my side. The sky is red.

The townspeople, long unaware of what was wrong,but aware of the evil alongside them, have risen up in fury.
Some of them confront loved ones ‘turned’ to darkness against their will. One man with a pitchfork pleads with his ‘turned’ wife  to bring her back to the light. Behind him, the monster responsible for this terror slips unopposed out of scene. She is a tall, raven haired woman with a billowing, bright red dress.

It is days later, and I am at a table drinking coffee. The family sets out (in a station wagon!) for parts unknown, Lu in the middle of her siblings in the backseat. She is safe and unharmed but clearly disturbed by what occurred.

And I wake up. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A bad rollover accident we passed after school today

A First!

Embarrassing admission of the day: today at lunch I had my first ever Casear salad. The verdict? Heaven! And better still, since it includes the word 'salad' I'm sure it's both calorie free and healthy! Huzzah!
Slight revision regarding Portia: once she cut her hair on the show most of the age-related issues took care of themselves. I think it's simply that playing 7 years her junior is impossible at her age. Also, per Lisa, the men on Bachelorette season 9 are 'fours and fives' and a pathetic crop for Des. Additionally, go #TeamBlake on the Voice!

The basketball banquet

On Saturday May 11th (the 22nd anniversary of my Confirmation, IIRC) I took LuLu to her basketball award banquet. She had quit the team a month or so before, citing a coach that was less than sedate, but she was still invited to the dinner. That didn't stop her from being VERY very nervous,. I tweeted the following: 

@ an award banquet for lu and she is very ill at ease. She txtd lis " Mom my team are all buds but not me im the weird girl in the corner"

I told her to stop acting like me and start acting more like her Mom - socialize. With time, and a few Shirley Temple's, she started not only hanging out with a couple of girls, but drawing others into her orbit. 


During the evening, which was the eve of Mothers Day, each Mom - or in my case, Dad - was given a rose by their girl for the holiday. LOL - but super sweet. 

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At the end of the night, she got a medal of her own. 



What was the final verdict on the banquet? Thumbs up!


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The New Arrested Development

Watched the first few episodes of the new 'Arrested Development'. What we've learned so far: Portia de Rossi has passed her expiration date. The beautiful, they fall all the harder, do they not? update 2022: I just reread this and I think, quite apart from societal changes, that my opinion as expresssed here was just ignorant as hell.

Junie and her hat ( inherited from YaYa)

Monday, May 27, 2013

LOL

After a game of concentration with the kids went awry. 

Lisa: I am now officially the worst mother ever. 

Me: Nooooo, not 'officially'. There's been no legal action.
We're back from a 24 hr celebration (belated) of Parker's 1st Communion. Dinner at The Melting Pot, then followed by a great night at the Country Inn & Suites - Dale Cz your hotel ROCKS! They'll be blog posts to follow, and we had a great time! 🙂

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Okeedookee

Spotted on the way to church this afternoon: a man dressed in a bear costume on the corner of 27th and Oklahoma. He was using a fishing pole to 'fish' in a city trash can, then 'caught' a neon colored stuffed fish and did a little dance for the cars. This was not an advertising gimmick or art - he was just a nutter.

You Don't See That Everyday

 Spotted on the way to church: a man dressed in a bear costume. He was fishing in a trash can, then 'caught' a stuffed fish & did a dance. 5-25-13

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Smiley and the May Crowning

Last week Wednesday was the annual May Crowning Mass of Mary, and as is the norm the 2nd graders attended in full Communion regale and ran the Mass. Smiley literally opened the service with the following: 

Good morning, and welcome to our First Eucharist at --[school]--. Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life, Whoever Comes to Me will Never Be Hungry, and Whoever Believes in Me will Never be Thirsty."


Later, he was the male student chosen to accompany a girl up to the statue of Mary to place a crown of flowers on her head. 

After the Mass there was a nice reception - one Lisa and I couldn't attend because of a prior doctor appt. 

Great Job Little Man!


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Office Finale

This morning Lisa and I watched the series finale of "The Office". This is how a sitcom should wrap. It was picture perfect, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. 

Well done, well done.

The Spring Festival (First Communion Celebration)

First off here's a pic of my baby:



After the recital we treated Smiley and the girls to some time at our parish Spring Festival, something the kids love but I . . . well, I normally weasel my way out of it :)

Neither Smiley nor I like rides, so he spent his tickets on the giant slide.





Lisa and the girls preferred to spend theirs on the tilt'a'whril.









Meanwhile Smiley tried his hand at skeet ball and won a gold-ish chain with an "Ace" pendant.





To top off the evening my daughters wanted to ride, er - whatever THIS thing is called. Smiley and I wanted noooooo part of it!







Ain't they beauties?





They had a blast on the ride, and Junie made sure to wave each and every time it rotated past us!


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They all had a blast. After this, it was the drive-thru at Taco Bell followed by an impromptu picnic/romp in the park, and the before-posted Railroad Walk!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Not funny YaYa lol

LuLu made some ridiculous comment about how she must have been an 'accident' since she is so 'unloved'. Lisa responded "We wanted you LuLu, we wanted all of you. If I didn't want you I'd have used birth control. Honestly, you don't know much about sex yet but people don't get pregnant every single time they have sex. Trust me, if I had a baby every time I had sex I'd have thousands and thousand of kids." YaYa IMMEDIATELY chimed in: "And Dad would still only have four. BURN!"

Ray Mazarek

RIP Doors founder and organist Ray Manzarek

Another Bathroom Drawing by YaYa


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Ugh

On the way to church this morning LuLu had what may very well be the worst, most disrespectful temper tantrum of her life - and in full view of a family friend. That pretty much ruined the morning for us. It's not that I think my kids are worse than other people's - I've met your children, sir, and without the benefit of your rose colored glasses - but for bleep's sake, what's Dad's #1 rule: Hide your cray-cray, esp in public.

The First Communion Dinner with the family

Yes, I know I keep posting the events of that day out of order. Sue me. 

After Mass and before the recital, we treated PDiddy Wee Diddy to a nice lunch out at Omega. Lisa even brought in a cake she'd bought to celebrate, graced with a Communion remembrance LuLu had wanted to buy her brother. 

Smiley ordered chicken tacos (while wearing a white suit! Gasp! But no spills!) and everyone else had yummy stuff of their own. After that it was on to the recital . . . 









Note YaYa doing what tweens do best: text. 







Saturday, May 18, 2013

House of Anubis

LuLu is a big fan of the Australian supernatural teen drama "House of Anubis"

Our New "Baby" (tree)

Somewhere on this blog - I can't find the 'tag' that leads to it - is a sad little ditty about the city cutting down the damaged tree in front of our home. That, IIRC, was in 2010. A year or two later the city ground down the stump and as they made no effort to replace the tree, I assumed we were never going to get another. 

Then, magically deliciously, we were greeted with this Friday morning!




Quoting Lisa's Facebook: 

I have a new baaaby!!!  The city dropped a baby tree in front of our house to replace the beautiful, mature tree they took almost 2 years ago! I'm going to tell the kids to remember how old they were when it was planted, it will be fun to see it grow with them. His name (given by the state) is "Morton" 



The kids are happy, Lisa is happy - and so, surprisingly, am I. This means that my 3 year run of 'barely any leaves to rake' is going to draw to a close, but I can deal with it. The tree's a beauty :)

A sketch YaYa made (5-16) at school


Friday, May 17, 2013

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

I remember

On October 14, 1992 my sister Katie and I attended a performance of an Athol Fugard play at UWM's Peck Theater, then went across the street to Bodolino's for dinner. Five imaginary dollars to the person who can identify why this date is important to many red blooded Americans (clue: what was on sporting event was on TV during dinner?)

Y U No Flush?


For Mother's Day YaYa gave Lisa a pretty dry erase board that we keep in the bathroom to leave reminders, post inspirational quotes, or whatnot for the kids. 

The following is YaYa's version of whatnot. Fed up with Junie's habit of not flushing the toilet, she quickly sketched out a toilet, complete with poo and 'stink waves'. 

She drew an arrow to the poo and wrote "RIP Your taco + salad' and directed another arrow at the toilet handle with the caption "it was made so we don't have to see what you ate." 

The title of this mocking artwork "Y U No Flush?" 



for 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The American Idol Finale

Watching the Idol finale. After seeing both Kree and (3rd place winner) Angie perform, it's all the more apparent Angie was robbed. She blows Kree out of the water, and a Candice/Angie finale would have been Ali-Frazier epic.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Railroad Walk

May 5th - the day of Smiley's First Holy Communion, was a grand day of many adventures. The others will be detailed in good time, but the final fling of the day was a stop in the park behind Pulaski High School, where we ate some Taco Bell and had the kids unwind by running around on the grass. I casually mentioned a railroad bridge nearby that I used to cross everyday walking to school. The kids wanted to see it, so what the heck - I took them across and down the tracks.  















To my knowledge, the bridge is no longer in use (I noticed the line was blocked off with gravel at the start of it, presumably by someone official-like), but the line that 'T''s with it is active. On the second trip over the bridge Smiley and Junie ran ahead and we heard a train blow its whistle. Now, let it be known that from MY vantage point I could see the train was headed down the track but if you were taking a photograph from where LuLu and YaYa were standing it looked like that train was a'barrelling down the bridge and right at the lil' ones who had nowhere to go. 

YaYa and LuLu screamed and screamed until the train went past, then ran to gather up their siblings. They (the older two) were clearly traumatized, while the little kids seemed perplexed by the attention. While it was terrifying for both of my oldest two, the incident made me fee warm inside - when push came to shove, they love their siblings and hated the idea of them being hurt. 

We may take that walk again, and soon, because the kids have expressed an interest in taking the tracks all the way to the road by our house (several miles) and to quote Lisa "they don't get as much excitement as I did as a kid. If you're with them, and its safe, I think it would be good for them."

What a great Communion day Smiley had!