My Evening

This . .   .clerk at Walmart asked me to spell my full name for a pickup.  They don't usually req more than "slap" to pull it up in the computer,  but nope, she "needed" all 11 letters.  Then she said, and I f'ing quote "And what's your last name?" Surely I heard wrong, but no - when I said Slapczynski again she demanded my LAST name. 

"Do you... do you honestly think Slapczynski is my first name? Are u shitting me?"

And now, bc I insulted the intelligence of an idiot, I've been made to sit and wait for the last 28 minutes. 

Update: 

57 minutes after my arrival I went in to customer service and got a manager.  He walked with me to the pickup dept where they now claimed they'd never seen the item.  

Manager walked me to shoes where he asked employees who had "picked" the item - it was allegedly taken off the shelf around 3pm for me. 

One employee denied knowing anything and seemed to talk about me in Spanish.  Another went in back with the manager.

They came out and said they can't find it and it was the last pair but they have one left in tan. Ok. 

But the manager wants to cxl my order, refund the money onto the card, and have me buy the tan pair outright.  I said that won't work it's bought on a GC that my wife has with her at work. 

So he said go wait on the bench by the restrooms.  If I can't find your order in ten minutes I'll  back and just hand you the tan pair and I'll figure it out later. 

Ten minutes later he walks up with the 2nd shoe dept employee. She had found the original order - which I still feel The idiot employee had hidden as payback for me being insulting. 

So one hour and 28 minutes later I will now be leaving walmart

Also, back on Dec 23rd the dermatologist removed some moles and sent them for testing. "I'll only contact you if they come back pre-cancerous. No news is good news. Enjoy the holidays!"

While I'm at Walmart I get a message from him on the live well app with the subject line "test results."

Ah F I think. Melanoma runs in my family. Dang it.

I open the message. "All tested material came back benign. Hope you had a great holiday!"

@$$%÷# ahole

Rob Reiner

Shocking news out of California tonight, as director Rob Reiner and his wife Michele were found dead of knife wounds in their Brentwood home. Reiner was 78.

Reiner first found fame on All in the Family, playing Archie Bunker's son in law,  a role that earned him two Emmy's. Afterwards he became one of Hollywood's most successful directors. Among his films:  Stand by Me,  This is Spinal Tap, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, The Princess Bride, A Few Good Men, and When Harry Met Sally.

I grew up watching Reiner, and then his films.  I'm genuinely appalled at this apparent double murder. 

RIP

Seneca Crane

Smiley tonight as Seneca Crane from The Hunger Games movies.  He was on his way to a Halloween party with Yaya, who was costumed as fake heiress Anna Sorokin. To be honest, aside from an ingenious homemade ankle monitor, she just looked like a normal woman on her way to a party.  Which, I'm told, was the point?

Happy Halloween from Plagg!

Jerry Taff

Jerry Taff, the main anchor for Channel 12 WISN from 1979 through 2005, died last night at his home in Texas.  He was 85.

Taff was a ubiquitous face in my first three decades on this planet.  My family most often tuned in to watch the news on Channel 12, which famously had its real life newsroom running in the background of the newscast. (We watched Channel 6 less frequently, bougie Channel 4 rarely if at all).

Taff, a Texas native who mentored documentarian Michael Moore while working in Detroit, was the face of WISN, and a trusted one - the Cronkite of Milwaukee in that regard. 

 

He had his faults: he was fired for two years in the mid-80's, for reasons I know longer recall, causing him to miss reporting on a passenger jet crash here in '85. He also had an alleged feud with longtime co-anchor Marty Burns Wolfe that wasn't a very well kept secret.

When he signed off his newscasts, he did so with a signature phrase that still sounds like the best wish possible to me:  Good Night, and Better Tomorrows. 

Good night Jerry.  Rest in Peace.

Love and Diet Pepsi

35 Years Ago Today

Pearl Jam - at the time still known as Mookie Blaylock - played its first ever gig on this day in 1990, at the Off Ramp Café in Seattle Washington.

 

The setlist consisted of eight songs:

Release

Alone

Alive

Once

Even Flow

Black

Breath

Just A Girl

And history was made. 

A Pathetic LCS So Far

Diane Keaton

Diane Keaton, the talented and iconic actress best known for Annie Hall and for playing Kay in The Godfather trilogy,  has passed away at age 79.

Her Academy Award winning career spanned from the first Broadway run of Hair in 1968 to the current day. 

The photo above is from her 1987 comedy Baby Boom which my parents took us to see at the theater. It was the start of quite the crush for me, a feeling that deepened the next year when my freshman crush Joanie had a passing resemblance to Keaton.

RIP

I Do Not Like This Word

There is no word in the English language that irritates me quite as much as "whilst."

I do not mean that the meaning bothers me, or the sound the word makes when pronounced. I simply react, instinctively, with both revulsion and condescension whenever someone trots it out. 

I do not like it, and I have no explanation for my preference. 

What A Day That Was

30 years ago today I had the honor of watching as an innocent man was exonerated, despite the machinations of the state. RIP  Orenthal. I'll think of you every Thanksgiving 

RIP Huckleberry, We Will Miss You Always

This post is long overdue.  It should have been published on the day it happened, September 8th, but it was just too hard to get myself in front of a keyboard and put it out there for the public. 

Huckleberry, the greatest dog that ever lived, has passed away. He was only 5 years old. 

On September 28th I took him to the vet and dropped about $500 on tests. He'd been sick for a few weeks, but honestly the only symptom seemed to be a decrease in appetite. He refused so many kinds of dog food that we tried human food, but our good boi would turn down that too. With his weight loss noticeable, I took him in. 

I expected the doctor to tell us he had some parasite or an allergy. Instead, before she even ordered the labs she told me she thought it was cancer, lymphoma to be precise. Sympathetically, but firmly, she said "He will be gone by Halloween."

WTH. 

"And if we treat it?" I asked. 

"Then he will still be gone by this time next year, but he'll have spent a lot of that time sick from the chemo."

But, she then backed up a little and said that I should wait until next Tuesday for the blood results before making any decisions.  (Monday was Labor Day)

On the way home, distraught, I took Huck for a car ride and let him explore the expansive fields north of the airport. 

I kept the news secret for a day before I couldn't bear it alone. After work the next day Lisa sent me to pick up dog stairs to help him get into the bed, after noticing he suddenly had trouble making the leap. 

Late Friday I was rattled by a disconcerting phone message from the vet, telling me if Huckleberry were to decline rapidly over the weekend and was suffering, I should take him to XX for euthanasia . .  . just how advanced did she fear it was????

Tuesday we got the answer, It was cancer, it was bad, and it had affected his stomach as well, causing some internal bleeding. We started him on 2 medicines and continued to pamper him like mad. 

The prohibition on dogs riding in my car? Temporarily lifted. 

If someone went out, Huckleberry went with them. 

Each day he declined a noticeable degree. His attempts to get on the bed were sadder and sadder. We booked a camping excursion with the intent of taking him on one last adventure, and booked it for the second week of September. He would not live to see it.  

Meanwhile everyone spent time with him, friends stopped in to see him, and he spent time at the dog park with Lulu

and Lisa and I, with my MIL in tow, took him to a sniff spot in Kenosha County, where he and Sawyer had sole possession of two acres in which to roam. 

Unfortunately, by that time he was declining  quite a bit, got tuckered out, and largely just lounged. Not that there's anything wrong with taking it easy. 

We made the decision to put him down, scheduling it for September 8th, only 11 days after his diagnosis, as he was beginning to suffer, and his bowel movements were liquid and he no longer always had the strength to get outside fast enough to dispose of it there. 

My friend Seth heard of Huckleberry's illness and dropped off plentiful treats for his last day

Likewise, my long time friend Tre asked if Huckle could come over and visit. He and his family gave me a chocolate bar to give him in his last moments - "no one should die without knowing the goodness of chocolate" he said - and my Godson TJ walked him around their block. Although it wore out Huck, he enjoyed it immensely. 

His last day he was taken to the dog park and pampered throughout the day. When I got home from work a little early, Lisa, Junie, and I took him to the vet. I have pictures, but will not post them here. He wagged his tail for the vet (he was Huckle until the end), and devoured with relish that Hershey bar Tre bought him. 

 Lisa sang to him as he passed away 

HE'S THE BESTEST BOI AND WE LOVE HIMMMMM

SOOOO MUCH 

HUCKLEBERRY HUCKLEBERRY HUCKLEBERRYYYYYYYYYYY

HE'S THE BEST

And then he was gone. And so was a huge part of our hearts. 

Ewwwww

 Tonight I saw a rat in the wild for the first time. 

It was on 22nd and Clybourn. I had just dropped off Junie's friend and I was waiting to make sure she got in her house safely, when a rat walked out from beneath a parked car. 

It looked up at me, seemed to smirk, then ran across the street and under another car. 

Ew

Ew

Ew

Kudos to my hometown tho'. 51 years living here, in dense urban neighborhoods, and I'd never seen a rat? Good luck going 51 *hours* in Chicago.  Thanks Milwaukee!

Robert Redford

Robert Redford, the man who may have been the greatest film actor of the last sixty years, passed away in his sleep today. He was 89.

His on-screen career stretched from the 1950's through 2019, from all-time classics like Barefoot in the Park and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, to Marvel movies like Avengers: Endgame.

I remember him best from 3 Days of the Condor, The Natural, and All is Lost. I thought about that last one just the other day. An old man, alone on a sinking sailboat, facing death with all the fury and stubborn refusal to die as someone a third his age - and not one word of dialouge. A powerful performance by a wonderful actor. 

RIP

update: Charlie Kirk Has Been Assasinated

The charismatic and popular leader of a conservative movement on college campuses, Charlie Kirk was just the victim of an attempted assassination at a rally in Utah.

I pray he survives, but from the video, I don't think it's likely. 

The MSM was quick, of course, to describe him as "right wing," using that as an insult, but while his beliefs were - no, ARE - conservative, I always found him respectful of his opposition and willing to listen.  The fact that he'd listen and not be swayed angered the Left all the more.

The online comments from the Left about the shooting are, as expected, disgusting and embarrassing.  If the shoe was on the other foot, there is no leftist in the world where I would mock their pain, root for their death, or celebrate their killer.  You can disagree without hating the other person, and there is ZERO excuse for political violence. 

Good luck Charlie.  You're in my prayers. 

Update: he has passed away. RIP

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Davey Johnson

Davey Johnson, the umiquitous MLB manager who led the Mets to a World title in 1986, has passed away.  He was 82.

To me, Johnson seemed to always either be managing in the bigs (he managed the Mets, Reds, Orioles, Dodgers, and Nationals) or in talks to do so.  Frankly, it's kinda odd to realize MLB has, to date, survived 12 years without his employment. 

RIP sir. 

A Close Call

I took Sawyer on a very brief car ride around the neighborhood, really nothing more than an excuse to park my car for the night. A large racoon ran across the road, bringing me to a stop. The racoon went no further than the tree on the curb, climbed up about four feet - car window height - and just casually made eye contact with Sawyer.

Who was in the back seat. 

Alone. 

With the window rolled most of the way down.

These thoughts ran through my head in order, and I instantly lunged for his leash, catching him more than halfway out the window.

Serves me right for taking him with me. 

Junie Starts College

Today our Junie, our youngest, started college.  COLLEGE! 

The days are long, but the years get shorter and shorter. 

She reports that her first class - Philosophy of AI - was "dope." And yes, you Mike Rowe cultists, that has a practical application to her career choice.

Congratulations Junie! Kick some butt!

A Crane in Flight

This morning, for the first time ever, I saw a crane fligh across the road. I was down in Kenosha on Washington, and it was such an awkward sight, with the crane's long legs angled back but for all intents and purposes, just dragging behind in the air. 

A Nightmare from a Midday Nap Yesterday

The dream started with me watching an art movie in a dark theater. 

Timothee Chamalat was the star. He was playing a young Howard Stern in the movie, and unlike what I presume happened in real-life, he was playing him as a teenager obsessed with the rock band KISS. For much of the first scene he was in full KISS makeup. 

Then he took out a knife and without hesitation cut a deep path across his face, right to left, and through both his eyeballs. 

The film turned upside down, as if someone had flipped the camera, and text on the screen told the audience that it was the director's intent to screen the whole movie in this style. I was impressed by the director's commitment to his art - and very disappointed when it reverted to normal and more text said such a viewing was impractical for a feature length film. 

Then the opening credits started. It was a Magnolia production, if I remember right. 

The next scene was a bright sunny day, focused on a corner lot, the storefront made of brick. A man sat outside on an old lawn chair. A tan '70's station wagon pulled up too fast, screeching to a halt. A blonde curly haired woman in a denim suit - Howard's Mom - rushed out.  The man in the chair, his Dad, rushed to intercept her. 

"Where is he?" she said. "I want to see Howard."

"He's' ok," the Dad said. "The doctor's say he'll be ok."

Now she sees Howard, playing with his younger sibling just down the street, a bandage across his eyes (but still, somehow, able to see and walk and play as normal). 

"Oh my God," she said. "The blood! His eyes!"

"He'll be ok Helen," the Dad said. 

And I woke up.