The World Baseball Classic

Just minutes ago the USA lost a pivotal game against Mexico, eliminating themselves from the WBC. It was a bit of a shock, given that before tonight Mexico was 0-2 in this round of the tournament.

I suppose I should be upset and shed a tear for the National Pastime. On the face of it it is alarming. A group of American professionals - All Stars and Hall of Famers even - fumbled their way into a second round elimination against teams that probably couldn't pass muster in AAA.

Phoeey. Who cares?

Look, I'm just as patriotic as the next guy, but it isn't like we screwed up the Normandy landing. The folks in Iowa and Oregon will be just fine without a WBC trophy or ring or whatever the winner takes home.

To tell the truth, it's not like it's conclusive proof of baseball greatness. By its nature the sport is one where one game proves nothing. Unlike almost any other sport, any team, no matter how awful, has a legitimate chance to beat a champion everytime they set foot of the field.

There's a reason the World Series is a best of seven format, and not set up like the WBC.

Add to that the fact that MLB players are coming off five months of sitting at home with the Mrs. and I'd say rust plays a factor too.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm disparaging the tournament. I'm one of the WBC's biggest fans.

Hey, I heard all the whining about the 'risk' MLB players were taking. They could get pull a hammy, they could blow out an arm, they could be lost to their employers for the season. I sure didn't want Ben Sheets to pitch, and I'm glad he didn't.

But I also remember Ryne Sandberg getting hit by a pitch in spring training and missing weeks of the season.

Injuries happen, and I don't see the difference between having it occur on a field in Japan or at a camp in Arizona.

And right here in Milwaukee, on broadcast TV, I was treated to watching teams from Taiwan, the Netherlands, China, Korea, Japan, Puerto Rico, Cananda, South Africa, the US, and Cuba play ball. The only teams I'm sure I didn't see were Italy and Australia.

I watched pro players from Japan and Cuba, for Pete's sake! How sweet is that?

Without the WBC, maybe, maybe, I'd have eventually saw one of those countries compete in the Olympics, should they reinstate the sport.

Now, I can say bleep off to the  snobs who prefer the Olympics to remain Euro-centric.

Next time, I might just shell out the money to subscribe to the WBC's web broadcasts. I liked it that much.

And in case you care, having watched Korea go 6-0, they're my pick for the championship.

Good luck to them - you've made the WBC must-see TV.

 

WooHoo! Go Panthers!

For the second year in a row, my alma matter, the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee scored an upset in the first round of the NCAA tournament, this time knocking off Oklahoma.

Meanwhile, Milwaukee's richy-rich Marquette went one and out.

What a shame.

Go Panters!

Man, am I selfish . . but hot, don't forget that!

My birthday's coming up, and if anyone (read: family) cares to purchase moi a gift, you may of course contact the Mrs. and co-ordinate your efforts.

For those chosing to act on their own, I am dangerously close to knocking off the last of my realistic 'Ten Useless Things I Want' list.

I have my laptop, an Ipod (granted, one I can't figure out how to work), a DVD recorder, a digital camera, a great desktop computer, my own washer/dryer/stove/fridge, and a camcorder (albeit one that needs repair).

So what's left?

A house, but that's a year away, and hardly useless. 'Course, neither are a lot of the other items on the list.

The remaining three items are:

1. An XM radio and subscription. I'm accumulating Radio Shack GC's for this, and will pick it up prior to the start of the MLB season.

2.An electric guitar and amp. Nothing fancy, a WalMart $99 package would do. This is the most ridiculous item on the list, as I had an acoustic guitar for the first 6 years of my marriage and played it once. But, I still want one. Can't give up the dream.

3. A telescope. Again, useless, but I do have a lifelong love of astronomy and follow it on the web. Seeing Orion in the sky still makes my heart go pitter-patter. Tom over at Tom's Astronomy Blog has recommended one, and I really think it'll be a good experience for the kids too.

I guess Radio Shack GC's are the only feasible gift here, but I'm also interested in getting a good Johnny Cash CD, maybe his Folsum Prison concert and a solid retrospective. No books currently make my list, as my library card is up and running.

Other than that . . . hmmm. . . Wal-Mart GC's never hurt.

Yeah, Yeah

I'm still annoyed, but more importantly I'm bored. It's either post

or watch Cinderella with Middle Child for the 100th time.

I struck gold with a recent binge at Blockbuster. If you're interested, pick up

The Guru, a hilarious comedy about an Indian immigrant who mistakenly

becomes known as a sex guru. Sounds condescending and stupid,

but it's funny, well written, and really a joy to watch.

 Heather Grahm (sp?) is  the only recognizable face.

 Some great dance numbers too, including a ripoff of Grease.

You know, between The Guru and Bend it Like Beckham, I'm really starting to

dig movies with an Indian flavor, and I have to say their music is funky and

fun. I'll have to attend an Indian wedding one of these days; it's gotta be

better than the standard South Side gala.

I also thought Serenity was worth the rental cost, tho' I couldn't convince my wife to

watch it.

Red Eye, by Wes Craven, I picked up for curiosities sake, assuming it would suck.

On the contrary, I found it a well written and well acted thriller. Well worth your time.

Skip Apartment 12 with Mark Rufalo, tho' I found it mildly amusing.

Last but not least, Walk the Line. Not a great movie, but what incredible chemistry

between Phoenix and Witherspoon. Two things happened because of the movie:

For the first time, I find Witherspoon sexy and very appealing. And two, I've become

infatuated with Johnny Cash's music, often having it play softly on my comp at

work. If nothing else, discovering Folsum Prison Blues was a great treat.

It also led to a great quote of the day:

Mother in Law claims Walk the Line is the best movie ever. I disagreed.

Mother in Law: Well, it's probably just a generational thing. The movie reminded me

of what it was like to be young again - all the problems I  faced. I could

really relate, you know?

Me: So . . . you were a pill popping adulterer who was jailed for drug smuggling?

Sometimes, I wonder why the woman tolerates my smart-ass mouth.

 

Well, I never

I was going to log on and write a post about Parker's 1st birthday party, but I arrived to find that the AOL counter has again reset itself.

From 30,500 visitors I'm back down to 105.

The hel* with that.

I don't feel much like spending much time on this lousy service right about now. I'm sure I'll get over my hissy fit, but c'mon . . .

Barry Bonds, Loser

Oh, you had to know I couldn’t resist the chance to get a jab in at Barry Bonds.

It’s a given really, seeing as I like the man as much as I do the clap. It’s never really been a secret.

Even so, I want to take a moment and explain myself.

Most people despise Bonds because he’s an arrogant, cocky, self-righteous S.O.B. that could care less if some fat white guy in Milwaukee doesn’t like him - or anyone for that matter.

That doesn’t bother me. In fact I kind of like it. I was a big fan of Albert Belle, too, and he was no saint. Hell, Ty Cobb killed people, for Pete’s sake.

[Granted, Bonds refusing to sign tshirts for a children’s cancer clinic because ‘I don’t sign autographs for white people” pushes the envelope a tad]

Nope, I don’t like him because, as sappy as it sounds, he’s a cancer on the best sport around.

It’s one thing for some schmuck to cheat here and there. Immoral as it may be, I don’t think the four extra home runs Alex Diaz hit on ‘roids makes all that much of a difference to the world.

But when you take one of the best players ever, juice him up on steroids for years, and find yourself about to crown a new all-time home run champion - well, then I have a problem.

Records are important. They’re important because they decide who gets to have a children’s book written about them in fifty years. It’s important because they decides arguments on message boards and in drunken bar room discussions.

It means something, damnit.

And here we go, about to hand the title of all-time homerun champion to a chronic juicer.

The book Game of Shadows details years of habitual steroid abuse, all geared towards adding power to his game. Well, mission achieved buddy.

The reporters who wrote the book spent two years compiling interviews, reviewing sealed and public court records, and examining the testimony of those involved in the BALCO controversy.

It’s already been excerpted in Sports Illustrated and has prompted the commissioner to announce he’s investigating the claims.

No matter what happens, Bonds’ legacy is forever tainted.

Whoopee.

Without concrete action from MLB it means nothing. Publicly he will still be regarded as one of the greats, and with time the memory of the steroid allegations will fade. People still recall the sins of Shoeless Joe and Pete Rose because MLB make it part of what you remember.

I’m not even sure that’s possible in this case.

Most of the steroid use took place before MLB enacted a firm policy, and unless he fails a test I think the commissioner’s hands are tied.

Here’s what I’m hoping for: either the commissioner risks it all and oversteps his bounds to punish Bonds.

That, or I wake up one morning to news that a mysterious ‘knee injury’ has forced Bonds into retirement.

If anything happens at all, I think it will go the latter route, with behind-the-scenes threats forcing his hand.

In conclusion, I leave you with an excerpt of my own, this one from one of The Onion’s greatest headlines “Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone who has ever watched Baseball”

"Everyone in our front office has known about Bonds since the 2001 season," said San Francisco-area accounts-receivable secretary Mindy Harris of McCullers and Associates, Ltd.

"People in our ninth-floor office, too, and all seven branch offices. None of us were sure exactly which kind of steroids he was on, but we were pretty sure it was the kind that causes you to gain 30 pounds of muscle in one offseason, get injured more easily, become slow-footed, shave your head to conceal your thinning hair, lash out at the media and fans, engage in violent and abrupt mood swings, grow taut tree-trunk-like neck muscles, expand your hatband by six inches, and hit 73 home runs in a single season."

Amen.

Parker's 1st Birthday!

I can't believe the little guy is turning one today. Seems like

only yesterday I posted news of his arrival here mere hours

after his birth.

Today we took the whole family to the Olive Garden for dinner to

celebrate.

 I know, not very childlike, but his big party will be on

Saturday. This was just for us, and it was very nice.

The waitstaff even sang to him. It was cute - they did so quietly so as not to

'startle' him.

Yeah right - he has two older sisters. He doesn't know what

quiet is.

By the time we got home it was time for bed. Not terribly exciting, I know.

I love the little guy. Happy birthday Parker!

btw - the pics are from his cousins bday party this past Sunday.

Happy 11th birthday to a great kid, and my only son, Smiley. I love you!! - Lisa

Kirby Puckett, HOF Twin, dead at 44

My Dad just called to tell me Kirby Puckett died following a stroke yesterday

at his home in Arizona. He was 44.

I remember the '91 World Series that converted me to a baseball fan

and that gut-wrenching home run Kirby hit to win game six . .

 I was rooting against his team, but it was impossible to root against him.

A few years ago he published a children's book of baseball games,

which just showed the love he had for the Greatest Game.

He'll be missed.

Pictures! Get your pictures here!

Figured it's about time to post some pictures of my progeny here . . is

that even the right word?

I think I failed to size the pics correctly, which will probably throw your frame

 all out of whack. My humblest apoligies, but I'm not about to waste more

 time redoing them.

On Feb 12th we took advantage of a fresh snowfall and took the kids

sledding near my childhood home. There's a huge hill in the park across

the street (Suicide Hill, growing up) and an equal sized one right next to it.

This second hill is neatly cut in half by a plateau, and that's where we took

the kids.

And yup, we took Parker too. He rode down the hill with both the Mrs. and I,

giggling each time.

The worst part of the whole thing, aside from the legitimate fear that

my 300# frame will be shattered on the way down, is the long, lonely climb up.

On the 18th, for no real reason at all, my wife made a butterfly cake

with YaYa. Just wanted to show off what a good Mom she is by including this pic.

Yesterday, to celebrate my sister's birthday, the family met at the Ale House,

a bar/restaurant downtown. I wasn't too keen on taking three kids to a bar

so late in the evening (my fear being they'd bug out and make it

miserable) but honetly, it was a really nice time.

No family tension, everyone was cheerful, and both the kids and myself

were 'on'. No pics, though, as I anticipated disaster, not fun times.

Quote of the night:

ME: YaYa, who's the girl that I love the most?

Stunned silence from the room, all of whom thought I was setting

Middle Child up for a fall.

YaYa: Mommy!

Right answer. Sometimes the Mrs. says I don't give my family the

impression I'm happy with our marriage (I am) and for once, I think I

won the day.

Today, we took the girls to go see a performance of Cats by an excellent

children's theater. It (as always) was a high quality, entertaining show, all

choreagraphed by a 16 year old performer who seems destined for

Broadway.

The show started at 7:30, which is just pleading for trouble

(as it's half an hour past their bedtime when it started).

We wound up having to leave two songs before the finale when

Middle Child wigged out, but it was fun and they enjoyed it.

The kids will see just about every musical out there by the time

they're adults.

They had their faces painted by a local anchorwoman during

intermission. Excuse the pics, as they were EXHAUSTED by the time we

got home. Still cute tho'.

Lost Theory

I missed half the show courtesy of American Idol, but what I saw was pretty worthy of a yawn.

Yeah, yeah, the baby was almost kidnapped by some weirdo Other medical faction. Whoohoo. Guessed that already, thank you.

Echo's little speech to the captive was pretty interesting, leading me to think he believes the Other's are more than mere humans - angels, perhaps? I don't know what the beard trimming was about, but I'm sure there's a hundred theories already in circulation.

The captive, who I'm sure is an Other, was pretty obvious about his attempt to split Jack and Locke. That it worked just points out how impotent and emotionally weak Locke really is.

BTW, if you like American Idol (AI in my parlance) check out Coldhearted Truth's blog on the sidebar. A conservative political blog, it has a seperate AI blog attached to it. It's worth a look.

* * *
Bought a laptop by the way. Not much to say about, but this is the first post I've typed out on it.

 

Family Update - Another Long One

Wouldn't you know it?

I spend the week in a shirt and tie, my wife and kids ride around in a minivan, and most days I'm cleanshaven (sans my standard goatee).

But today I go bumming to the grocery store wearing pants older than my kids, a scrubby t-shirt, and two days worth of facial hair (which for me, is dang near a beard by itself). In additon, I'm driving the same ten year old, $8,000 (when new) car my wife and I took on our first date.

And I run into some old co-workers I haven't seen in six or seven years.

Nice.

But overall it's been a positive week. Last Wednesday was the 11th anniversary of the day my wife and I met, so at the last minute we dumped the kids and spent the night at a bed-and-breakfast in Cedarburg, WI.

It's a nice place, built in 1847 and still in business. We were the only guests, and the innkeeper doesn't stay overnight, so it was a wee spooky in the dead of morning. But aside from  the obvious uses of a hotel room (heh heh),which came w/ a fireplace and whirlpool big enough for my hearty frame, we went up and down the street browsing through stores.

According to a Wall St. Journal article, the candy shop down the road has the 'world's best' carmel apples, and at a bookstore across the street I found a great Andre Norton novel "Empire of the Eagle".

By noon the next day I was back at work, but it was great while it lasted.

* * * *

YaYa's commercial premiers this Monday. A sad lack of respectable enthusiasm among family and friends has embittered this household, but we push on . . Wednesday, right before the trip, I volunteered at her school and then gave a speech to her class for career day (which included playing the commercial!). YaYa seemed proud and the kids said I was 'funny', but the Mrs. felt I should have been more informative. Next time I guess.  Oh, YaYa went to Libby Lu this weekend too, and had a blast.

* * * *

I've spent more alone time with P-Diddy (Parker) this weekend then I have in - well, maybe ever. While the Mrs. took the girls to the mall YaYa's godfather and I went looking at laptops. Parker was a blast while my friend was around, laughing and smiling and not making any trouble.

Then we split up and I went solo, and things changed.

Not too much tho'. He got moodier as he got hungry and tired. We stopped at McDonald's, and as all the highchairs were taken we (nervously) sat side by side in a both sharing a meal. Then we hopped over to my nephew's Championship Basketball game, where Parker really started to lose it. I made a quick stop at the post office and Blockbuster and we were home.

Total time together: 5 or 6 hours.

Ditto today, minus my buddy. With the girls and Mrs. at a birthday party Parker and I went shopping here and there, including the grocery store (where he was my only saving grace with those co-workers).

Overall, I'm really starting to dig the little guy - except for the fact he never EVER sleeps through the night.

* * *

The championship game went poorly, as my nephews team was dominated by a larger squad that took the title by 16 points. He did pretty well though. As one of the few big guys on the team he nabbed a few rebounds, stole a ball, and wound up on the court three times when fouled.

********

The kids are all in swim class. I take YaYa first. She's gotten over the fear she had in the last semester and is kicking butt. Then Middle Child and Parker share a class, with the Mrs. taking the baby.

Middle Child, who I repeat is a Kewpie Doll incarnate, is becoming a dang good swimmer in her own right. Parker doesn't act afraid, but seems to be rather bored.

** * * *
After swim class on Saturday we took in one of the earlier rounds of the basketball tournament. My nephews team was down by three baskets with 90 seconds left.

With 1.6 seconds left and the defense pressing hard, a teammate of Jonah's eased up and hit a shot from three point land to give them the lead.

Man, I was on my feet screaming like the Yanks just took the series!

My nephew got a piece of the inbound pass, but it landed in an opponents hand. A teammate stepped up and covered him, and time ran out.

Oh Nellie! My immediate family accounted for 4/5ths of Jonah's fans in the stands - this was enemy ground. But let me tell you, we made enough noise to drown out a Madison Square Garden crowd.

Even the Mrs. was thrilled. "More exciting than any pro game I've seen" she said.

And the best - if most immature - part: the other team's fans were certain, dead certain, the game was in the bag. And then booya!, their hearts were ripped away. I wish I could have bottled the dead silence that came after that shot. Oh man!

 

Family News - kind of a long one

.

This Thursday my business had our annual city inspection.

In recent years this has been a disaster - nothing worthy of a 20/20 report mind you, but pages of nicks and scratches against us. Traditionally we put it off as long as possible, until the city said 'time's up'.

Nothing against the previous administration, mind you, both of whom I respect, but it just wasn't made a priority.

This year, on the heels of some recent improvements and a stronger diligence in upkeep, I asked the city to schedule it for last week. Kind of caught them off guard, I'd imagine.

The results? Half an hour into the exhausting five hour inspection the inspector started using phrases like " this is the best its ever been" and "nice, nice".

After completing one building he had a half page of notes. According to him, he'd usually be up to a few pages by that point.

If there is such a thing as 'aceing' an inspection, this was it. The inspector wrote us up for tiny things that have been in place for years.

"Frankly, I don't know how I missed them before," he told us. "Except there were just so many big things in the past."

I was so damn happy I took the family to Ponderosa to celebrate.

In other, much more memorable news in the scheme of things . . .

Today, as I’d briefly mentioned awhile back, my wife and YaYa taped a radio commercial for the company.

I hadn’t told anyone the details because if my daughter had freaked out we’d have backed out with no harm done.

It was my wife’s idea to tape us doing the commercial, so that we could play it to and from school each day. It was the best way for YaYa to learn her lines, since she’s still too young to read.

Tommorow, we'll burn the thing. No one should hear a 300# man say "Mommy, can I ever be a real Princess?" on a loop tape.

We pulled her out of school a wee bit (okay, okay, a few hours) early to make sure she had a nap.

So was she eager, or were we just being typical stage parents?

Well, she’d been nervous one day, excited the next. Today she was both, depending on the hour.

(She’d told my sister yesterday that she was ‘scared of the radio’. My sister, in the dark all along, thought she was bonkers)

So we got to the radio station. It was an otherwise inconspicuous building tucked into a wooded area in a southwestern suburb. From the vesitbule you could look into the working DJ booths of two local stations.

That got YaYa’s excitement up.

The sales rep, a really nice guy, came and took us to a recording booth where we all chatted for a bit. I started to get worried that YaYa was going to go stir crazy, and as it turns out it was the wrong booth – the right one was down the hall.

Then it was showtime.

It was a much smaller room than I imagined. Just a chair, a table of mixing equipment, and a producer’s station with a computer in front of it. A single microphone was mounted to the table.

[The sales rep asked if I brought my camera and bemoaned the fact that I didn't. I had left it behind because I thought it was a no-no, but if I'm being honest with myself I can't be too upset. It was rather dim in the studio and in all likelihood my camera wouldn't have been up to the task.

Can't seem to get the hang of low light shots, dangit. That's the only time I miss my old Olympus Stylus.]

Wouldn't ya know it, YaYa started to cry.

Here’s where it got dicey; should the crying have gone aminute longer she’d be in a full blown fit, and the commercial would have to be scrapped.

I don’t remember what we did to shut it down, but she sucked it up and we got down to business.

It wasn’t flawless, but it was much better than I think anyone could reasonably have expected from a four year old. The girl had five lines and 38 words to speak on cue for Pete’s sake!

In the end there were several takes, and the producer had YaYa ‘practice without the microphone’ (wink wink) to get her to relax as they redid some individual lines. She had just the most adorable expression everytime she goofed up a line – her eyes bugged out and she brought both hands to her mouth ‘speak no evil’ style.

I haven’t heard the completed commercial yet, as they still have to add the ‘announcer’s’ voice, but they played some of it back.

And heck, I’m not embarrassed – their equipment blew the heck out of the $19 K-Mart recorder we’d used to practice.

It was like listening to the Voice of God, it was that crisp and clear.

Only, you know, audible.

As far as my wife’s part? The sales rep seemed genuinely impressed by her performance and called her a natural. I don’t think it was b.s. – she really is good, and I think he was wondering if she’d done it before in a past life.

After ten years of poverty, I’m finally making her a star :)

So the commercial went well, if not spectacular, and soon I’ll have a copy on CD, and be able to listen to it on the radio.

And YaYa?

I stopped at a custard stand and bought her a strawberry dipped cone that promptly dripped all over my tie.

Such is the price I pay for being married to one star and father to another.

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Another Lost post

Okay, first of all last week’s episode was goofy. Everyone I talked to seems to think it was a stunning masterpiece, a chilling epic of Lost, but that just proves I’m smarter than everyone I know.

Assuming Sawyer was capable of planning the whole thing out means you think he had the foresight to know everyone on the island was going to act out of character.

Locke, while my least favorite regular and IMHO a boob, would not have fallen for such a blatant ploy and certainly not with such meekness. He acted downright wimpy in the episode.

Jack, while prone to bouts of temper, clearly didn’t think it wise to give Chin a gun. Yet minutes later he’s knocking on the door to give him one. Huh?

Charlie wants to humiliate Locke, so he agrees to assault an innocent woman? Again, huh?

Kate’s a professional con artist, at least so far as bank robberies go, falls hook line and sinker for the ruse. Ugh.

And Sawyer himself - the new sheriff in town – is a moron. Everyone hates him now, and quite frankly, who cares about the guns? Haven’t done any of ‘em a bit of good yet.

Tonight’s episode was much better, with characters acting true to themselves. Jack is unwilling to see a man tortured and (hypocritically?) is willing to resort to violence to stop it. Locke stands his ground until his precious island is threatened. The secret of Hurley’s weight is revealed as nothing more than stolen food, but he admirably stands up for himself. Sayid is wickedly awe-inspiring (the line "My name is Sayid, and I am a torturer" sent shivers down my spine).

Of course the guy Michelle found is an Other, though you’ll probably see a balloon in the jungle somewhere just to mess with our heads.

Two quick new Lost ideas to try on you folks:

The island seems to be riddled with people that have Savior complexes. Jack for sure, but Kate killed her stepdad to ‘save’ her mother. Charlie is obsessed with ‘rescuing’ his family, Locke donated a kidney to his father, etc. I’m too tired to elaborate tonight.

The second thing is more of a question that an idea: Charlie was hanged by The Others. If memory serves Judas met a similar fate, and he’s already shown himself to be a betrayer of the group. Coincidence?

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BTW

I'm still chugging away at that %#$#@% Knife of Dreams book. Should have been called The Neverending Though You Wish It Would Book.

 If I have to hear my wife taunt me once more by saying "I'd have finished two of those by now . . as if I'd ever read something that dorky." I'm gonna scream.

 

Short Post

I can't believe it's been a week since my last post. Tonight I'll have another Lost post for you all to ignore, as well as some exciting news on the job/home front. Oh, and my wife has dared me to try and write one of my old 600 word pieces defending Cheney's shooting accident. I just might do it.

Later.

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

This is another one of my sister's Fwd: emails. Again, not normally my cup of tea, but kind of cute and inspiring.    

 

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

     Noah was a drunk
     Abraham was too old
     Isaac was a daydreamer
     Jacob was a liar
     Leah was ugly
     Joseph was abused
     Moses had a stuttering problem
     Gideon was afraid
     Samson was a womanizer
     Rahab was a prostitute
     Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
     David had an affair and was a murderer
     Elijah was suicidal
     Isaiah preached naked
     Jonah ran from God
     Naomi was a widow
     Job went bankrupt
     John the Baptist ate bugs
     Peter denied Christ
     The Disciples fell asleep while praying
     Martha worried about everything
     The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
     Zaccheus was too small
     Paul was too religious
     Timothy had an ulcer...AND
     Lazarus was dead!

Church joke

Normally I detest Fwd: emails, but as of late my sister Katie's been coming up with some halfway good ones to pass around.

*******************************

An elderly couple was attending church services, when about halfway through she leans over and says to him:

 "I just let a big silent one, what do you think I should do?"

He leans over to her and replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Another Middle Child saying

I can't believe I forgot Middle Child's favorite saying:

"Snow White run away" - a reference to Snow White fleeing the Evil Queen in the Disney movie. Spoken (inevitably) whenever it's on the vcr (which is always). When spoken, an adult must oblige her by following her into her room to view the pivotal scene. Also verbalized whenever she wears her Snow White dress, sees a picture of the princess, or hears something that possibly/conceivably/maybe/could be a reference to the movie or any attempt to flee authority.

Will this book ever end?

I'm in a bit of an unusual pickle with my current reading material.

The Wheel of Time is an excellent fantasy series by Robert Jordan. In fact it's the only fantasy series I've ever liked enough to endorse. Keep in mind it's hard to recommend the series to someone new because each book is ~1000 pages, give or take a few hundred, and there are eleven entries so far.

Knife of Dreams, the latest installment, is a vast improvement from the tenth book. That one drrrragggged on, and was just a great waste of time. There was no plot or character development; you really could skip that mammoth killer of trees and not miss a thing in the series.

Now  the tempo is greatly increased, the end of the tale is in sight, the fate of the characters is soon to be revealed . . and I can't make any headway.

Seriously, I've read what, ten books in the last few weeks? Yet its taken more than a week to chug through 300 pages of Knife of Dreams.

Aside from the fact that the main character has yet to appear in the book 300 pages in I have no qualms with the story or the writing. Scratch that: after a two year hiatus it's too hard to remember which of the dozens of characters belongs where, much less who is secretly a two-faced agent for whoever.

A nice little 'previously in Wheel of Time' would have been a nice preface . .

I'm enjoying it, but I just can't make headway. With no intention of being a wiseass, I imagine this must be what it's like for a learning disabled reader. You love the material, you want to finish . . . but something holds you back.

Ugh.

Here's hoping I snap out of it.

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Now, that was ugly

Well, congrats to the Steelers. Even if they hadn't been able to rack up a score or so courtesy of the NFL, they'd have taken the day. I'd still like to see those refs canned, as they were the true difference makers in the game.

A disapointing end to the season for me. Although I rooted for the Steelers through the end of conference play, I was pure and simple a fan of Holmgren and the 'Hawks.

Shame the season had to end like that. At least it wasn't a sport I care about, like baseball. Hard to imagine that I don't really care about football, given my postings, but I'm no more than a casual fan, albeit (I think) a pretty knowlegable one when I give a da**.

Oh well. At least I had a good time with my nephew Jonah, who came over to watch the game. A rare treat nowadays, to see the kid in something more than passing, even if he was a Steelers fan. Check out his blog, located on the sidebar. He's never met a spellcheck program he liked, but other than that its a pretty decent read for an eleven year old.

Oh, btw, I annoyed the heck out of my wife tonight. Not only was I very distracted, my volumne at times kept the kids up and ruined her evening. Time to kiss and make up.

My apologies hon.

Now, two months of rest. And then . .

 

BASEBALL!

 

Another Phantom Penalty/Thank You Ben

8:26 PM Nice to see the ref's call holding where there was none, negating that huge seahawks gain and setting the stage for the interception.

And, while I risk sounding like a whiny sore loser, that penalty against Hasslebeck on the pickoff was bogus - and as I write this, Al Michaels and John Madden just agreed with me.

Thank you Ben (7:57 PM) Sure, I get melodramatic - a man who doesn't live and die during in the heat of competition has no business taking part (even as a fan).

I thought the game was over, and what does Benny do? He tosses it loosy-goosy, 'Hawks intercept and run it back, eventually converting it to a TD.

Thank you Ben.

Signed,

All Seahawks Fans

Halftime Report

Overall, a  lame first half. The penalty negating Seattle's touchdown was a joke, and if Big Ben really crossed the plane with his 'touchdown' Amelia Earheart will land any minute now. . .

In the NFL, the refs seem to favor whoever is the darling of the fans.

And as for the Rolling Stones - lordy, who's going to play SuperBowl forty-one, Scott Joplin? Didya notice that while the folks up by the stage were into the band (and no doubt plants), no one  in the stands seemed to give a rip.

The second half just started and the Steelers scored a big TD . . shame. The game's not over, but it serves as a  reminder that the good guy doesn't always win the day . .

I still say/hope/pray Seattle will pull it off. Stay tuned.

The Siamese/Conjoined Gummy Bear

My wife recently found these sad Gummy Bears on Ebay.

"This gummy bear was pulled from a bag in cleveland Ohio on 1-29-06.It is siamese the red one on the top Is Phil and the yellow one is grover.Grover was born with a birth defect and is missing his bottom left leg.The Highest bidder will save there lives.I will eat both of them in 10 days if they are not sold on Ebay.You and only you can save them.I will assume the highest bidder will give them the best life possible.

 

I wanted to bid, but the Mrs.said $5 was too much money to save this Bears' life . .callous Republican.

 

Another Lost Theory

 

A reader recently left a well-thought out Lost theory on my non-AOL comments page. It's too long to re-post in full, but it can be found here.   Here's the gist of her argument:  

I was originally in line with your theory....but have since revised my position on the whole LOST experience...it's all about the power of the mind and suggestion. . .  Those known as "the others" to the survivors are simply those who are aware of the physic suggestion and the origin of the experiment those who do not yet have this knowledge are "the survivors".

Legitimate studies have proven that children have a heightened physic ability which deminishes over time.  This may be the reason children are garnered by "the others".  they strengthen the illusion that is shared by the collective illusion being produced by those participating in the experiment.

My guess is the reason for the connectivity and background similarity has to do with where the study subjects orginally came from....All could be part of a program that participated in such an experiment or study.

I'm impressed, but not convinced. I think the best explanation is my purgatory argument. I do concede that their is a smattering of clues lately that point to a psychological explanation: namely, that this is all a figment of Hurley's insanity.

* The numbers, which pop up everywhere, are directly connected to the event that started Hurley's fall (the lottery)

*Hurley 'recognized' Libby, the psychologist among the Tailies

*Hurley hasn't lost any weight, despite spending two months on a deserted isle. This has been commented on by both fans and a character in the show. I realize it's probably nothing more than the actor's inability to lose weight, but if it's intentional - maybe his shattered psyche can't imagine a less overweight, 'more worthy' self

*Alone among all the castaways, Hurley seems to be a neutral and universally liked character on the island. Evidence? of him being the unintentional puppet master who's unwilling to ostracize himself?

I'm sure there's more, but Ican't think of it right now. I hope it isn't true. I'd hate to have the show end the way St. Elsewhere did, with the whole thing being written off as the product of an autistic kids imagination.

Might as well have Bobby Ewing pop out of the shower and call it all a dream.

I know there's message threads that debate these things endlessly, so maybe all three of these theories have been disproved - but ya know what? No one short of the writers know the truth, and depending on how long the series runs, the 'truth' might alter as the cast and audience changes.

In the meantime, while I might pop on a message board for a minute or two, I prefer to dwell on my theories here - and I'm more than happy to hear your opinions.

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Tags: Lost