Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

I'm the first to admit, I thought this movie would  be a bore. If you saw the previews you couldn't help but walk away with that impression.

A magic toy store you say? Run by a foppish eccentric who acts like a child and talks like the Mad Hatter?  What's that? The shop horribly rendered silent and still when the youngin' loses her faith in it? Oh my - perhaps, maybe, well, do ya think? - maybe believing in yourself will right all the wrongs and restore magic and happiness to children everywhere!

Tonight, when our DVD copy of The Water Horse failed to work, the family sat down and ordered this movie on pay-per-view despite those previews.

And wouldn't you know it, the movie was a pip. We all loved it (although Lu and Smiley couldn't make it through the whole thing).

Forget the preview, even if it does give you the skeleton of the story; after all, it's the meat and heart that really count.

Hoffmann is wonderful as Magorium, genuinely funny and delightful - he rather reminded me of a Troughton Dr. Who to be honest - and the story is about, of all things, his impending death and the handing off of the store to his young assistant, played by Natalie Portman.

I thought Portman was adequate, but not much more, and her unusually short hair confused the girls ("Is that a boy or a girl?" both YaYa and LuLu said at different times). In addition I'd have chopped 10 minutes or so from the third act.

That aside,  I'm going to add this movie to our regular kid-friendly rotation. It was grand.

And I'll probably watch it again just to snag a few of Magorium's quips.

It's DeLovely

We left the hotel, quickly discovered and corrected a flat tire, and headed out to Fort Atkinson, an hour or so outside Milwaukee.

Mapquest was dependable, as always, but took us on a leisurely route through the countryside. Here our new MP3's came in handy, and having Garth on the radio brought back memories of trips down to Georgia back in the glorious pre-kid days.

Once we got to the booming 7,000 person metropolis we found ourselves with four hours to spare before our reservations. We burned an hour getting a light lunch at a local diner, avoided a rainstorm in the process, and then hunted for something to do with the remaining time.

Enter ShopKo.

Somehow I had managed to go all my life without walking through the doors of a ShopKo. When Lisa correctly stated they were a Wal-Mart clone, I was interested enough to give it a go.

Two and a half hours later we exited with four pairs of shoes, a bra and a shirt for Lisa, a pair of sandals and a shirt for me, boots for YaYa, an obscure Lawrence Block paperback, some trinkets for the kids, some more expensive ($3 ish ;) toys as souvenirs for the kids, and probably some other stuff I've forgotten.

"You held up well in there," Lisa said when it was over. "I'm proud of you."

We took advantage of their restrooms to change into our dinner duds and headed over to the Fireside Theater.

The Fireside is perpetually advertised on TV here, but I will confess ignorance of the art, so much so that I assumed you actually ate your dinner while they performed around the tables.

Plus the outside looked pretty dissapointing.

We stopped before going in and kept up an old tradition, dating back to1995: we took an awkward self-portrait of us.

Inside my impression changed. After checking in we explored what seemed like an endless string of gift shops. You'd reach the end of one and walk into another, and another, and another. There's a Music Shop, a Garden Shop, an art area, and so on. The sheer scopeof it all  was really quite impressive.

BTW, I was grooving on Lisa pretty hard, as I thought she looked quite yummy.

We picked up a magnet from the show, keeping in line with a theater tradition of ours, and were idiotically dumbfounded by the following.

No, there is NO pipe connecting to the back of the faucet. The secret, which in retrospect is obvious: there is a clear plastic tube running between the faucet and watering can, with the water running up the tube and cycling back down.

That didn't stop us from waving our hands behind the faucet like a stooge at a magic show.

Then, on to dinner. The Fireside can seat 1000 people for dinner, and we were in one of the far dining rooms. That was a plus, as it gave us the chance to be properly awed by the size of the place. Lisa and I shared the same thought: it was like being back on our cruise.

Dinner was a five course affair. An olive based spread on toasted baquette (sp?), a splendid soup, salad, fresh baked breads, and then the main events. I had a salmon and asparagus version of the beef plate.

Chef-carved medallions of roast tenderloin of beef on a toast crouton w/ three peppercorn Madeira Wine Demi-Glaze Sauce. Potato Croquette au Gratin and French String Beans. Baked Peach Half with a Brandied Mincemeat Center.

Chocoalte Praline Mousse Diamond Presented on Crème Anglaise flavored with Grand Marnier and garnished with Fresh Berries.

And coffee, a grasshopper, and a fine strawberry drink.

Oh. My. Lord.

Here's a very neat part of the experience: while we were dining the owner of the Fireside came and spent about five minutes with us. 1000 people there for dinner, and he spends five minutes on a couple of first-timers from Milwaukee.

He told us some of the history of the place (the red statue in front was dedicated by then-Gov. Knowles in 1970; the popular restaurant added theater. in 1977 when the local university held a show there after a last minute emergency; etc)

He was a very nice, cordial man, very down to earth, and extremely proud that the theater used only Actor's Equity performers, many of whom had gone on to star in Broadway roles, some  'paying back' their big break with a return to the Fireside as a favor to him.

(oh, and it turns out my parents went there once right after I was born, when it was still 'just' a restaurant. My Mom recalled it was with some of my Dad's co-workers from the bank where he worked at the time, and that she bought me a dog puppet from one of the shops)

Did I mention dinner was wonderful?

Afterwards, Cole Porter's Anything Goes. It was performed in the round and sadly one scene was obscured by the performers (but alas, obscured by the derrieres of three dancers, so it was not a total loss).

It was a very good performance, despite what I thought was a lukewarm rendition of Sir Evelyn Oakleigh (who did turn on the charm after a rousing Let's Misbehave)

Three standouts: Brian Ogilvie did a great job as Billy Crocker, the stunning Stephanie Kay Swant gave an energetic and crowd pleasing turn as the 'Angel' Purity, and Law and Order vet Don Stitt unequivocally stole the show as Moonface Martin.

Man, I love musicals.

What a grand experience. I have no doubt we'll be back. 

Meanwhile, at 11 pm we still had an hour's drive to our next hotel . . .

This Ain't No Chuck E. Cheese

What lousy timing with that Guest Editor business. It was published Friday and I left town that very day, depriving me of enjoying the adulation I so fully deserve.

But we needed the time away. It was our first vacation of any kind since '06 and our first trip sans kids since '05.

Still, I had plans of saving some $ and spending Friday night at home, albeit a home gloriously empty of children. But after devoting half an hour to cleaning the mess the water caused the night before, we said 'see ya!' and headed out the door.

First stop: an average Mexican restaurant in Cudahy, where the only thing of note was the disgusting tongue-action between a homely 50-ish couple in the booth behind us.

[Note: aside from the fact that they sat on the same side of the booth, routinely traded tongues, and had their hands (shiver) disappear beneath the table quite a bit, may I just say to the gentleman, should he be reading this:

Your waist is not located on a plane even with your nipples. Wear your pants below your chest. Trust me. There is a middle ground between my plumber's crack and your . . whatever that was.

The world thanks you in advance for your co-operation.]

Then it was on to At Random, a south-side bar that Lisa's been trying to get me to visit for ages.

It's been in business for more than 40 years in a converted South-side home. Their menu proudly advertises that they don't serve beer or wine. So what do they have? Pretty much anything else on earth.

Aside from the drinks, the place is famous for its decor. It's very dark in there, even by tavern standards, and much of what illumination there is comes from fiber optic Christmas trees scattered about. Mid-century jazz plays over the loudspeaker, and our waitress was easily seventy or older.

It's not intentionally kitschy you understand, they just haven't found a need to change in 40 years.

The owner is a big, gruff guy that Lisa warned me was 'intimidating'. I guess I can see that, but he was just fine with us. Not so the case with some college age couples who wanted to change booths - oh the looks he gave them! They're very finicky about who gets in and where they sit.

[True story: once upon a time Lisa went to At Random with a bachlorette party and they were refused seats.

"But it's my bachlorette party," Lisa's friend said.

Nothing.

"There's a whole couch that would fit us," she said, referring to a wrap-around in one of the rooms.

Blank.

"We could sit at different tables," she pleaded. By this point she was crying, with tears just streaming down her face.

His final, unequivocal answer, said with a snarl and a trace of contempt: "This ain't no Chuck E. Cheese. This place is for couples. Get out."]

Lisa ordered a mint drink that tasted like a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie, and I settled on a delicious concoction made of Irish Cream, Vodka, and Oreos - three of the best things on earth - mixed with ice cream.

It was grand, but they taste so much like harmless confections that you drink the whole thing before BOOM! the booze hits you blindside.

From there it was on to a local hotel where we spent the night. Aside from everything else that was great about the hotel, Lisa found herself entranced by Peter Jackson's King Kong, something she'd never, ever have rented or watched at home.

In the morning it was off to Fort Atkinson.

I'm AOL Guest Editor this week

Go check it out here; after the weeekend I'll repost the whole thing here for posterity :)

UPDATE: Here it is. Oh, and one more thing: in the song, when they say "I just flipped our President George" they are referring to George Herbert Walker Bush, circa 1991, not our current President. I guess some folks have always felt it was nifty to disrespect a man for no reason other than his politics. None-the-less, I love the song

* * * *

 

Hi, I'm Dan, better known as Slapinions in these parts, and I'm thrilled to have been chosen as AOL Guest Editor.

 

For those of you who haven't stopped by my site before, I'm a married father of four (three girls/one boy, all age six and under). A comprehensive summary of yours truly can be found here so I'm not going to bore you with all the details.

 

But if you're interested, here's a brief glimpse into the inner workings of Slapinons mind :)

 

I still mourn the passing of Chi-Chi's and their Twice Grilled Barbeque Burrito.

 

I like Alanis Morissette, was once famed for doing a nightly Backstreet Boys dance in front of the security cameras at work, and collect New Kids on the Block merchandise . . yet look with manly scorn upon anyone who listens to Nickelback.

 

I think a Yankees captain/shortstop who refuses to move positions when his team picks up possibly the *best* shortstop EVER is no captain at all.

 

Dada had only the briefest of moments in the sun, but as college radio hits go, Dizz Knee Land  is a pleasant legacy to leave behind.

 

 

 

 

I’ve sat on two different committees for two different elementary schools, and the complaints from the neighbors are always the same. Note to all: if you don’t like children, detest the sounds of playground chatter, and object to traffic on your street for a half-hour around 8 am and 3 pm, then why go and buy a house across the street from a school?

 

And I've said it before, and I'll say it again: human teeth are the only flaw in God's grand design. They hurt when they come in, they hurt when they go out, and they hurt far too often in between.

 

So on to business. I'm going to make a serious effort to feature some obscure, under-appreciated, or new journals. If you aren’t on the list but have seen me on your site please don’t feel slighted. By the rules of this thing I can’t list everyone, and maybe you had one too many comments and I figured you were doing fine without the boost. Or, you know, maybe I just forgot about you. :)

 

Jfourb’s On the Outside is a nice, happy place that largely centers on her family and their kittens.  Recently however, her college-age neighbor violently killed himself, and they’re dealing with that. This journal is vastly under-visited.  See if you can change that.

 

Recently retired, rjsisti’s Roses are Read caught my eye when I saw it on the ‘recently updated’ list of AOL Journal’s homepage.It was a brand new journal at the time and I tried to help her out with adding music to her page, without much luck. Swing on by, say hello, and maybe lend her a hand.

  

Skip3366 is a proud member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, and he posts frequently to his The Maverick Conservative journal. A bit too far right even for me, but often an intriguing read, I figured this list needed a wildcard. I’m sure he’ll enjoy filling the bill.

  

I was surfing through  JLand when I found this next one. I like birds, so some of the photos of our feathered friends caught my eye. Check out Nature Walks and Thoughts.

 

This next journal has been around for more than four years, which beats mine by seven months. What originally caught my eye was this bit of wisdom: Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Check out Whispers in the Wind.

 

Last but not least, the male half of a journaling duo here in Jland: kindly stop by and visit Bucko.

 

That’s it for this week. I hope you have the opportunity to stop by and say hello to all the journals listed above (and mine too!).

 

Have a great week.

 

Dan aka Slapinions

 

 

Ps. I haven’t forgotten about getting a save/print option for our journals. Anything new on that AOL?

Water, Water, and More Water

I just returned from my twice-hourly trip to my basement to monitor and remove the rainwater that is making parts of it a wading pool.

You might remember this happened before, on the day we saw The Lion King, but this time is much worse, with an inch of standing water by the circuit box.

The culprit is clearly the two remaining 1892 Cream City brick foundation walls. We had the north/south walls replaced when we moved in, but the east/west were viewed as sound.

'Sound' maybe, but not waterproof in a deluge. The rain keeps coming today (Greenfield was completely flooded on the eastbound side between 121st and 108th and I was forced to abandon myattempt to reach the freeway and take Sunnyslope Rd. south)

Whatever. The walls still shouldn't leak. But clear as day two spots on the west wall are bringing water in, and one in the northeast corner. The latter is the bad one, pooling water in the kitty litter corner.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I'll try to tuck up the two walls, and I reckon I'll toss in a sump pump this summer.

Ugh.

* * *

On the upside Lisa and I are going out of town this weekend. We usually take a weekend away after she gives birth, but with the baby 8 months old we only now have time to get out of town.

In fact, it's the first trip we've taken since Disney in '06.

So I probably won't update much until Monday ;) We'll see.

If I don't, enjoy your weekend!

 

Two Brewers games in two days equals two losses

On Wednesday my friend Carlos invited me to a Brewers game. We hadn't seen each other in awhile, so long that he didn't know I was now a non-smoker.

 

"You quit?" he asked. "Nuh-uh. You smoke like a chimney"

 

"Dude, I quit in November of '06" I said.

 

Guess it had been awhile.

 

Anyhow that posed a problem. He had very good seats, section 327 where the seats are wide and the waiters bring the hot dogs right to you, but he also is a smoker. He'd planned on having the two of us go to the smoking area, watch the game on TV there, return to our seats, lather and repeat.

 

So while he smoked I spent half the game watching sans Carlos, but it was still a blast.

 

The Brewers were awful, save for a long Ryan Braun at-bat that ended in a homer, so I'll spare you that write-up.

 

Some things of note:

 

They honored the recent Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Pulitzer Prize recipient. The news was unexpected to say the least. It was rather like hearing your Grandma just won the gold medal in track; you're proud of course, but you're left wondering how low the bar was set.

 

I also went craaaazy and bought a soy hot dog.

 

"How does it taste?" I asked the cook.

 

"Don't know." he said. "You're the first to ever order one."

 

Well, ok . . but it was the 5th home game of the year. That didn't bode well for the dog or for Milwaukee's waistline.

 

The verdict? Not bad, especially with a little kraut and stadium sauce.

 

* * * *

Today I went with my mother-in-law to the game. She had some primo tickets, a gold parking pass, and exclusive restaurant passes courtesy of a favor she extended to some apartment staff in her complex.

 

 

 

 

The seats were field level, first base side, ten rows behind the home dugout. EASILY thebest view I've ever had at a game.

 

Here's a view from a few sections down

 

 

And from our seats

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's the national anthem singers

 

 

Ken Griffey Jr, one of my personal favorite players and a future Hall-of Famer. It was an honor, as always, to seem him play in person.

 

Here's

 

Prince Fielder, reigning NL home-run champ.

 

 

 

Ryan Braun, reigning NL Rookie of the Year

 

 

As far as the game itself, it was very fast moving, completing in 2.5 hours and going through the first four frames within an hour. It was a pitcher's duel right up until someone said that aloud, and booyah, the Reds exploded and we were done for.

 

Oh well, there were still the original racing sausages.

 

 

See this?Think it's a pic of the roof? Nope. It's a shot of one of the leaks in the roof, which naturally didn't turn out on camera.

 

 

The cause of the leak? This nasty stuff

 

 

I didn't enjoy being squashed in a crowded section, but I relished the conversations around me. These were $$ tickets, and everyone there knew the game.

 

After the defeat we tried to eat at the .300 Club (now renamed something corporate) but the kitchen had closed.

 

 

So we braved the rain, managed to get out of the lot, and then ate at Chili's down the road.

 

 

Thanks Jeanne and Carlos for the great time I had at both games!

 

Tags: Brewers

A new song by Queen

I'm sitting here listening to the rain pound against my office window with a little Woody Herman in the background. True blue, there are few things in life more grand than a rainstorm at night accompanied by a little jazz or swing on the radio.

Or in this case, my MP3 player.

On to a completely different genre of music. Queen, with Paul Rodgers at the mike, is releasing a new album and the first single debuted recently. I saw a link to it on this journal in the UK and figured I'd post the Youtube video for Tre and the other Queen fans out there.

I wasn't sure about it right out of the gate, but by my second listen I decided all was well. A little more rock and a little less camp than Queen of old, but a heckuva Brian May riff and a catchy chorus. I give it a thumbs up.

Here's Queen + Paul Rodgers "C-Lebrity'. Enjoy!

 

 

 

Tags: Queen, Paul Rodgers

I've been tagged!

Beth over at Nutwood Junction 'tagged' me earlier tonight and I thought I'd thank her by skipping tonight's 2nd episode of My Name is Earl and getting right down to business.

The rules are:1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

QUESTIONS:

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

Let's see. In April of '98 I was living in the basement of my mother-in-law's house, having fallen on tough times the previous fall. I was still working at the library downtown but had dropped to half-time because I'd gone back to college (and would graduate that August).  I spent a good deal of time researching and working on my senior thesis on our old Compaq. We had disconnected our AOL accounts to save $ (we'd sign up again in the fall and remain on AOL to this day), and man I still miss that original scree name. Sniff.   . . .  If memory serves we were sleeping on two twin mattress/boxsprings that my Grandma had given us; our queen bed was too big to fit down the stairs to the basement and had to be left behind.  We had no bed frames mind you, so we just put them on the floor and pushed them together. . . . . . we were big into Titanic, the ship and the movie, and gorged ourselves on every book about it we could find (that would be when my crush on Kate Winslet, #1 on my List of Five, began). I'd heard about a great PC game called Titanic Adventure out of Time, but it was only available at the Appleton Best Buy. I thought it was Appleton Avenue here in Milwaukee; nope, Appleton WI, quite a distance away. My friend Tre and I made the trip anyway. It's still a great game.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

      I'll go with my to-do list for tomorrow. No work stuff, since I ixnay that on this site.

    1. Arrange a sitter for Wednesday night

    2. Remember to get a copy of the NKOTB appearance on Today and look for their clips from Tuesday's The Insider

    3. Get a firm shipping date for our new mattress set

    4. Work on some posts I'm slacking on.

    5. Update our Netflix account

3) Snacks I enjoy:

. I'd be shorter to list what I don't enjoy. I'm not into candy unless someone else buys it; no, really. If left to my own devices I would rarely buy it for myself (Well, except  maybe Kissables.). Ditto Ice Cream.

    Like I've always said, I'm more of a meat and potatoes glutton than a candy and cake kind of guy. 

    Frankly, I kind of like munching on Multi-Grain Cheerios lately. You know, just scooping up a handful and tossing it down. It's not a health thing, although it's decent for you; it just tastes good.

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

    Pay off our house and my student loans

    Get Lisa a breast reduction.

    Weep about the breast reduction.

    Get me a hair transplant to return my God-Given great head of hair.

    Put a ton of $ away for the kids

     Buy a company in my line of work

    Go to Vegas and . . . well, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

5) Five of my bad habits:

  Just five, and fit for the general public? It'll be hard, but here goes.

    1. I don't tie the garbage bags well.  As I've mentioned before, I have this problem with knots.

    2. I often dribble water on the toilet seat just to make my wife think I peed on it.  It makes her sooooo mad hee hee

    3. I become irrationally irate whenever the phone rings, and it rings a half-dozen times a night, easy.

    4. When in a hurry I click the phone off before proper goodbyes are exchanged.

    5. I worry too much. In fact, I worry that by writing that brief mention of how much I worry I'll jinx myself and wind up writing "how ironic" once my life falls apart and the world comes to an end around me.

6) 5 places I have lived:

I've never lived outside Milwaukee, so I'll list the eight places I have lived . .

.1. my parent's house, until I was four or five and they sold it. 

2. w/ my parents in my Grandparent's house

3. a one bedroom flat with shag carpeting 

4. a nice, roomy flat over a crazy Mexican drug dealer who went away for carjacking

5. my mother in laws basement

6.  An 8 family apartment building

7. a two bedroom flat two doors down from the shag carpet flat

8. our current house

    7) 5 jobs I have had:

     Really just the library and the current place . . but odds and ends: surveyor's assistant, Subway, Burger King/Pizza Hut at the airport, a Speedway gas station

5 peeps I wanna know more about:

I'm usually against tagging, so I'll notify the folks below but leave them under no obligation to participate.  

     Psychfun  

    Sybill    

    JFourb   

   Rjsisti                    

   Astaryth                

None-the-less, it's been a blast. Thanks Beth!

How NOT to take care of a baby

Katrina at work sent this to me and I HAD to repost it here. Be forewarned, you need a sense of humor for this tongue in cheek cartoon.

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_3

The Union Ruler, circa 1984

Growing up my Father had an odd obsession with attending irrelevant conventions and expos.

For instance, despite not owning our own home, we often attended the Home Builders Expo at State Fair Park. While we only went fishing a few times in my childhood, were never hunters, and didn't enjoy boating or camping, the annual Milwaukee Journal Sports Show was a frequent stop around my birthday.

I'm actually not complaining. Some of my best memories are of those times: tasting buffalo at the sports show, collecting free samples at every expo, being awed at the new home remodeling products, and so forth.

Of all my nostaligia driven memories of my youth, those are some of the fondest.

One of these expos was a large Union show held downtown. I don't *think* my Dad was in a union at the time, although he might have belonged to one at the hotel where he was employed.

I think it was 1984 or thereabouts, putting me at ten years old at the time, and Dad took the whole family. We spent the day walking around, looking at this or that, and collecting the free giveaways around the hall.

[A dim snippet of conversation left in my head recalls that this was some big national event, something unique that wouldn't happen again in Milwaukee for a long time. Come to think of it, I don't think it's returned since.]

Anywho, one of the neatest giveaways - and certainly the one with the longest life - is this great ruler.

I ADORED this ruler (still do, actually) because it not only showed a picture of each President, but his name and years in office (note that Reagan still had an open ended date at the time). On the reverse it had each state capital.

I memorized the Presidents in sequence because of this ruler (and some Harry Lorayne tricks). I tried to memorize their faces. I tried and failed to remember all the capitals.

In short, I was a big dork.

None-the-less, I love this ruler and still have it in my home office. Mind you, from time to time Lisa makes a run at having me get rid of it, as it is redundant and out of date, but pshaw!

If I have my druthers I'll own it until the day I day.

Thanks for taking us Pop.

"New Kids on the Block? WTF?"

I noticed this review of Slapinions on Blog Explosion a few days ago. Whoever wrote it - thanks for the laugh. Feel free to drop me a line to introduce yourself.

Review by 93118 at 2008-04-02 18:06:22
Word to describe your blog	Personal
What user liked the most	Good writing
Review Type	Rating	comment
Design / Style	3
Recent / Regular Updates	5
Loadtime	5
Interesting Content	5
Technical Errors	5
Colors	4
Grammar	5
Too many plugins	4
Layout	4
Review total score	91 of 100%
Summary: Lots of personal blogs out there. Like the entertaining ones the best. New Kids on the Block??? WTF? I'll be back.

 

Tags: Blog Explosion

How Vain am I to have two posts about my rinky-dink weekend?

At work on Friday I had a hamburger that was, honest and true, perhaps 8 inches in diameter if not more.

It was a freaking  pie, with 16 solid ounces of meat. Most places advertise 'one pound' and mean pre-cooked weight; these slaves to obesity must take that as an affront and weigh it right before it hits the bun.

It was so large I cut it in half to take home to Lisa.

Sadly, having no sense of, oh, what do the Brazilians call it,  portion control, I ate the whole thing anyway.

Then that night Lisa decides to order takeout from someplace we'd never heard of before. When it arrives guess what joint it came from?

There was enough food to feed six people.

Gotta love this city.

* * * *

My work Nextel broke over the weekend and apparently is unrepairable. The tech labeled it 'water damage', which is a bit funny since it worked fine right before I put it on my nightstand Friday night and didn't work when I picked it up from the same dry spot some six hours later.

About the only thing I haven't done to that phone over the years is expose it to water.

It was rather freaky being out of contact for the first time in years. I didn't even want to leave the house, imagining all kinds of dire situations that could come up to haunt me.

Don't forget, in every movie what's the first thing the screenwriters do? They knock out the guys cellphone so he doesn't have a logical way of reaching help or solving the dilemma.

As I told LuLu in jest, as she was begging to go with me to the store: "I don't want to go Lu, I don't have my phone. For ten thousand years mankind lived in fear and never left their houses, EVER, and do you know why? Because they didn't have cell phones. Honest. It's true."

Even she didn't buy it.

* * * *

Smiley's teacher says it looks like he will need 2 or 3 years of special ed to cope with his speech, as she says he really doesn't seem to be able to talk no matter how hard he tries. This probably puts the kibosh on the montessori school he was accepted to, the same one we could never get his big sisters into. It's a shame.

On the other hand Lisa complimented me. "You're talking to him like a grown-up a lot more lately."

How did I talk to him before? I asked

"You didn't talk to him much at all. And when you did, you acted like he was still a baby."

Well, that's a blow to the ego, but she's probably right. It was hard to see his intelligence when he didn't speak and never responded to you (due to his hearing). Now he seems like a very caring, very sweet, very smiley, VERY mischeivious little boy.

* * * * *

To end on a positive note: I took Smiley and the Baby on a 50 minute walk in the double stroller on Saturday, taking advantage of a beautiful 50(F) degree day to show off the neighborhood to the Baby, who's only memories are probably of snow piles.

They both loved it, with the baby smiling non-stop before she dozed off. Later we played in the backyard, where Smiley displayed a small fear of nightcrawlers. 

 At half his age YaYa would have been rolling them around in her hand. :)

A rambling and self-centered account of my weekend, part 1

Dear Lord can that baby of mine wail.  I should tape record her screams and sell them to a sound effects company. She's like a little Fay Wray.

Maybe the extra income would make the last few days with her worth the effort.

Basically, it's cry, puke, cry, sleep, cry, sh** all over herself, her clothing, and anything around her, cry, eat, cry, sleep, and so on and so forth.

Here's the kicker: she doesn't seem sick. The crying seems to just her Modus operandi lately, nothing unusual. If you aren't holding her or feeding her, it's off to the races. If you are, it's all smiles and coos.

And the flu-like symptoms, well they mirror the Good Friday bug but unlike that week she's still eating like a champ, smiling, active, babbling, even dragging herself backwards around the living room.

So wait and see I guess.

 * * * *

I did a whole lot of nuttin' this weekend. We cleaned the house, had the kids destroy it to a sickening degree, cleaned, repeated, and surrendered to the inevitable and let it rot.

I did, however, manage some manly feats.

Last week the stairwell railing tore out of the wall (it had been improperly mounted into the wood lathe, rather than a stud). It normally would have been a grand ordeal, but to everyone's surprise I took it completely off the wall, remounted it into the studs, patched the hole in the wall, and made a sandwich, all in the course of ten minutes.

Then Saturday the stationary tubs in the basement decide to back up. I plunge it, I snake it, I Drano it; nada.

So I suck it up and crawl underneath the sinks, take apart the trap, and what do I find? A sock. A bleeping sock.

Cut to 18 months ago, back in our old flat. Smiley drops a block into the toilet and flushes; the landlord had to replace the toilet when the block proved a permanent fixture.

I don't know who put the sock in there (Smiley). I don't know if it was an accident (Smiley) or just mischief (Smiley).

But it sucked.

Then my dishwasher was leaking, and I mean leaking bad.  The before-mentioned Pon told me to clean the seal. So I did, and it was indeed filthy, but in the process I noticed a loose screw on the bottom of the dishwasher and a plastic piece no longer sitting flush. I clamped the piece, screwed it down, and there ya go - success!

3 for 3. Unheard of. I'm the Bob Uecker of home repair and lucky to break .200.

* * * *

A bevy of anniversary's this week, and a few birthdays.

Of course the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King's assassination was on the 4th, but it was covered better and in more depth by nearly everyone on the net, so I relished the chance to avoid writing a heartfelt, serious piece.

The anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death lies somewhere between the 5th and 7th, and I will post on that for the 4th year.

My Mom's birthday was also the 1 year anniversary of our first night in our home. That's a biggie, and I'll try to post about that.

(note: Lisa holds that the 1st was the move-in. I'll check my records, but I'm sure it was the 5th).

 

'Awake' Movie Review

                         

My wife and I rented 'Awake' , starring Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen , off pay-oer-view last night. It was a pleasant surprise.

Christensen plays the son of a late financial wizard, and while he's more than equaled his father's efforts he still feels the weight of his father's ghost on his shoulders. He's in love with Alba, his domineering Mother's secretary, and wishes to marry her but can't even work up the nerve to let his Mother know they're dating.

He also has a damaged heart and needs a  transplant. Unfortunately when he's on the table he's one of the rare people who maintain full consciousness under anesthesia, and while under the knife he hears something, something frightening . .

Soap opera stuff, I know.

I was expecting a run of the mill popcorn thriller that would be good for some mindless fun before bed. What we got was a movie with admittedly flawed science but a stunning plot twist (and no, I don't mean the 'he's awake!" tidbit) that blew us both out of the water.

And then, near the climax, an unheard of event: Lisa predicted an event that I didn't see coming.

I liked the movie, and I'd encourage you to rent it and thumb your nose at the majority of critics out there

If my word isn't enough, Roger Ebert essentially thought the same as I did :"I went to a regular theater to see it Friday afternoon, knowing nothing about it except that the buzz was lethal, and sat there completely absorbed. ... I did not anticipate the surprises, did not anticipate them piling on after one another, got very involved in the gory surgical details, and found the supporting soap opera good as such things go"

Rent it. You'll enjoy the ride.

 

RIP Charlton Heston

                        

Charlton Heston, star of movies like Planet of the Apes, El Cid, and my personal favorites Ben-Hur and The Ten Commandments, has passed away at age 84.

An additional tribute can be found at Here, There, and Everywhere.

Rest in Peace.