Smiley's starting Dance Class soon

There exists a picture of me in a brown vest and pants, with a yellow shirt and yellow sequins up and down the sides of the pants. I'm doing a dance in a recital with my sister K, the very day my youngest sister had her first of many seizures related to childhood epilepsy.

Yin and yang, good with the bad and all that.

Anywho, Lis is big into dance and our son seems to have inherited rhythm unseen in my gene pool, so this year he will be joining his sisters on stage. Classes start soon, tuition is paid in full, and we picked up some sharp tap shoes for him. All that's left now is a pair of black jazz shoes and he's all set.

His stiches are out now too. The doc should forget medicine and go into tailoring because the line is darn near seamless considering how it looked that night.

BTW, our friends did offer to pay for the medical expenses. But accidents happen, no harm was intended, and no one lost a life or limb. It's kosher with me and Lisa wisely thanked them but said 'no thanks'.

Tags: Smiley

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How the Bike's going

Whew, I'm sore, physically sore. But in a good way.

I've been riding my bike a lot. Sure, I took some ribbing at work over the pics on the blog, but who cares? And yeah, my Harley riding neighbor good naturely ribbed me by saying  I should 'move up to a real bike', but again, so what?

Monday after work I took YaYa on a 1.4 mile bike ride around the neighborhood. She seemed  surprised and genuinely grateful, thanking me three times along the ride. (there is nothing quite as sweet as a sincere 'Thank you Daddy!').

Of course half an hour after our return she was screaming that she hated me and that I was the worst Daddy ever, but such is life.

The next day she and I went to exchange her bike. After only a week the kickstand wasn't working, the brakes were locking up and the decorations were falling off. The heck with that. Lisa and I wanted to trade up to a Schwinn, but she had her heart set on a 'Glamour Girl', and without Lisa to make me stand my ground I caved and bought it for her.

Then we took another bike ride, a shorter one, to a local custard stand, where we ate outside on the patio.

Fear not, my diet remained on track. I had a hot dog but skipped both onion rings and custard. Hey, in my book that's like fasting.

Then today, again after work, I took the first real ride with the bike trailer attached (I'd make some practice runs the day before, but just around the block). With YaYa on her bike, me on mine, and Lump and Smiley in the trailer, we set off for my Mom's house. [Lu was already visiting there]

It was misery.

Three blocks into theride YaYa fell in an intersection. I tried to turn around but before I could a woman jumped in front of her to hold off a left turning ahole that was set to run her over. "Let her get through!" the woman yelled.

Thank you stranger.

Soon I came to the realization that rush hour traffic, even when you are sticking to the sidewalk, SUCKS. Plus there was glass all over the sidewalk in spots and I worried about our tires.

Round about a mile down the road YaYa's left pedal fell off in an intersection (natch!) and yet another good Samaritan stepped in to walk her across. Turns out the pedal hadn't been attached (it was assembled in store), nor had there even been an honest attempt; the plastic was still over the appropriate hole. I have no idea how we pulled off the two rides before it fell off.

A mile later it fell off again. And again. And again. Five times in total before we reached my Mom's (where I properly repaired it).

Meanwhile the kids HATED the trailer. Smiley kept trying to climb out whenever we stopped, Lump screamed and squirmed and cried . . ugh. They both despised the helmets I'd bought for them too.

Two plus miles in I was soaked and exhausted and regretting the whole shabang.

[Hey, I'm 350#. While I imagine even in this day and age it's a rather exclusive and dubious club, I still think I'm in better shape than what you'd expect from a guy my size.]

One time when I stopped to rig up her pedal the baby was howling and YaYa would not so much as walk towards her to console her. So I announced her bike could stay where it was for some kid to pinch and I got on my bike and rode away. Just a few yards, mind you, before YaYa relented and watched the Lump. But it wasa harbinger of things to come.

We finally got to my Mom's and ok, the accomplishment was worth the pain. It was a 3.2 mile ride [I later retraced the route in my car] and probably the longest distance I'd ridden in my life.

At my Mom's I'd actually entertained the idea of  having a conversation with my Mom, but it was not meant to be. First off YaYa lost her slip of paper with her lock combination and insisted we retrace our steps. Thankfully a block into the walk I spotted the paper in the gutter and was a momentary hero. I say thankfully because I was not about to walk any further.

But YaYa was exhausted and looked the part and a meltdown soon began. My kids have a lovely way of doing that primarily (but not solely) in front of my family. My Mom was upset with me when I told her to 'stop mollycoddling' YaYa when she cried non-stop after she and Smiley went at it and I crunched the proceedings.  I am much tougher as a parent than my family norm and so I inevitably look the part of a villain.

I was too tired to ride back so I'd hoped to get a ride from my Dad, pick up the van and return for the bikes. It took more than an hour for my Dad to come home, a solid hour of meltdowns across the board.

Oh, and Smiley crapped on my Mom's bathroom floor. I assume, because it eases my mind, that he did it because he just barely failed to make it to the toilet.

Later, after resting for awhileYaYa apologized, and I do think it was sincere, but I'm still going to have Lis forbid her from using her bike during the day Thursday. And a day spent inside and without computer privileges might also be in store.

But all that normal parenting stuff aside, I'm loving the heck out of my bike.

Talladega Nights

                

I don't *think* I posted about this movie before, but after four years the line between 'I wrote it in my head' and 'I wrote it on the blog' begins to blur a bit. :)

I saw a some of this movie aboard our cruise ship in '06 and didn't like it. I also don't like NASCAR, not one bit, so the combination of those two facts made me put off this movie until a recent Ferrell binge hit me.

I liked it. It wasn't all that funny - I think 'humorous' is a more apt description of the film - but it is pleasant to watch and had its moments. (The public service announcement about the packs of feral dogs that control many of America's cities cracked me up)

I thought Sasha Cohen's portrayal of the gay French driver was lame and unfunny, but Ferrell was on the top of his game as his usual bewildered, overmatched, but ultimately victorious character.

The final race was cool though, even if you don't care for racing.

Again, a pleasant waste of a few hours but nothing more.

2.5 out of 4, 70 out of 100. (add .5 stars and 5 points if you like stock car racing)

Very tired - hoping for coherency

I just finished my submission for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel's Community Columnist competition.

I've come up short in 2 of the last 3 years, skipping one year for good measure. I only found out about this year's event from my Dad on Friday. I balked at the short notice, noting that the deadline was today.

"I guess that means you won't do it, huh?" he said.

That innocent comment is the sole reason I wasted a Sunday night painfully pulling words out of the air. It just immediately annoyed the heck out of me and lit a fire in my belly.

I don't think I'll fare well. It just didn't 'flow' tonight, the construction was awkward, midway through one column my research proved faulty and I had to rework it back to the bare bones  . .

[I just deleted a few paragraphs of excuses and low-confidence ranting.]

We'll see, and hope for the best. Keep your fingers crossed.

* * *
A very good day with the kids Sunday, much better then the smooth surface/rough undertow the kids provided me on Saturday. A genuinely happy, fun day where I kept my patience intact and the kids were reasonably nice to each other. We spent a few hours helping my sister with a rummage sale, including running a lemonade stand and taking some batting practice (more on that later). Then later in the day with Lisa at work I took the kids, my goddaughter, and one of YaYa's friends [the neighbor's kid - not 'that' neighbor] swimming. Although Smiley tossed my glasses, flash drive, and watch in the pool on a lark, it was otherwise a great evening.

In between I took my bike and rode it to the post office and back, which made me very happy.

Ah, yes, one more thing. I twisted my ankle chasing after LuLu at the rummage. It hurt bad for awhile, then went away for hours before returning this evening with a vengeance.

Say what you will, these sorts of injuries never happened when I spent the day in a recliner eating bon-bons.

The 25th Grandpa's Day and my new Bike

Today is Grandpa's Day, the anniversary of a road trip I took with my maternal Grandpa in 1983, two weeks before he died in his sleep.

No big trip today (the planned expedition was instead completed Monday; I'll post about it soon). Instead I spent the day trying out my new bike, the first one I've ever purchased on my own and only the second of my life.

Remember how on our trip up north I rode a bike for the first time in 25 years? Well since then I've been itching to go biking again, and coupled with my now three-week old diet plan I figured what the hell. So yesterday the family (plus my youngest Milwaukee niece) went out to Wal-Mart and I picked out a Schwinn Moon Dog Cruiser bike.

Afterwards we went out to dinner (don't worry - I had broiled fish) and Lisa stopped off at Target to get the two oldest girls new bikes of their own. (the 2nd set of their lives, the lucky dogs.)

Here is by far the single most embarrassing, dorky picture in the history of this blog - me and my new bike.

Yes, I caved and bought a helmet, and one for the kids. It's the law (a stupid, totalitarian law that's a slippery slope to dictatorship, but I digress) and besides, my kids have had enough stitches for one summer.

The bike handled my weight well and was very comfortable. Yeah, it looks retro or old manish, depending on your point of view.. I agree. But I dig it, although despite my initial thoughts on the matter I really don't care for the coaster brakes.

By the third time around the block I was at full speed, although corners still gave me shivers.

(I hope YaYa remembers and appreciates that her Dad and Mom went biking with her, since it's a memory I don't share from my childhood. LuLu didn't go around the block. She was too busy having a hissy fit over something or another)

Once Lisa left for work I walked with the kids to the nearest Walgreens, about half a mile down, and then had dinner. I then took them all to South Milwaukee to pick up a bike trailer off of Craigslist so that Smiley and Lauren can join in the fun in the future.

Not a bad 25th Grandpa's Day after all.

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More neighbor issues

Yesterday my neighbor, who you may recall has made a habit of calling the city to report us a daycare center, yelled at my kids via an open window.

Apparently they were making too much noise in their five foot diameter, three inch deep plastic pool for their liking. It was 1pm in the afternoon.

The neighbor also made a show of talking to police or the city on the phone in our earshot, trying to file a complaint against the kids.

I was at work. When I was called I came home and blew an hour and a half of my day dealing with this s***. I went and knocked on their door. At first they refused to come to the door but eventually the wife came out and spoke to me at length.

I was not ill-mannered, I was not loud. I kept my anger inside and tried to live by the rule 'as far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with everyone'. I agreed to move the dastardly pool away from that section of the lawn (which was fine, as I felt it damaged the grass there anyhow and have been pushing for its relocation) and presumably they'll call me if they have any issues in the future (yeah, right).

I made it clear they were never to yell at my children, and I made it abundantly clear that I have a 30 year mortgage and I'm not going anywhere.

I have come to the conclusion, only recently, that life will never provide me with an extended period of calm, conflict-free existence. By no means is my life Indiana Jones-ish, but  I do seem to draw everyday crap to me like the cliche of a moth to a flame.

Somehow  knowing that seems to make it easier to deal with it; if it's meant to be, then so be it. Que Sera Sera and all that.

Into the Wild - Review

                                                

                               

Adventure, Louis L'amour once wrote, is just another word for trouble.

Chris McCandless should have been familiar with the quote; the last thing he ever wrote was scrawled on a page from L'amour's autobiography. Familiar or not, he certainly failed to heed the words.

McCandless, a graduate of Emory University, set off on his 'Great Alaskan Adventure' in the spring of 1992, journeying alone in to the woods. He carried with him no compass or map and had more pounds in his backpack devoted to books than food.

He died of starvation 113 days later.

Into the Wild is Sean Penn's take on McCandless. Adapted from the best selling book by Jon Krakauer the movie does its best to portray Chris as a visionary. In Penn's eyes, and through the narration of the actress playing his sister, we are meant to see him as a sincere and thoughtful philosopher who correctly identified the wrongs of the material world and retreated into the arms of nature.

I'll grant him some of that. Right or wrong McCandless seemed to sincerely believe in his world-view, donating more than $24,000 to charity and traveling alone around the nation for more than two years like a modern day Johnny Appleseed before his ill-fated Alaskan trip. If some of the theatrical quotes he left behind were sincere, he deeply felt his convictions.

What the movie barely touches on is his inherent selfishness* He left for his journey without telling anyone and for two years his parents and family waited for him, filled with hurt and dread. For good reason.  The next time they would hear of Chris would be when moose hunters found his decomposed body.

The reason behind this willingness to hurt his loved ones? A 'troubled' youth where his parents often fought and his shame at knowing that he was conceived out of wedlock.

It's hard for me not to smirk and write him off as yet another rich-boy with rich-boy problems. I guarantee you half the people in the audience, if not more, had a childhood a dozen times tougher and one in three has a 'shameful' secret much worse than the mere timing of their conception.

To refuse his parents offer of a new car because it was an insult and too material (especially when it was made clear it would be a midrange car)? To burn cash on the side of the road? To take  $24,000 of your parents money that they gave you for school and give it away? To time and again shrug off the efforts of your parents to express their love for their son, however awkwardly?

These, frankly, are not the actions of someone who grew up with 'real' problems.

And to Penn's credit he does hint at the reactionary nature of Chris' odyssey. Time and again he is presented with surrogate family figures on the road, each of whom criticize his actions and urge him to contact his family. Each time they are rebuffed and Chris moves on, unwilling to face his own flaws.

As a movie Into the Wild is overly long, with a two and a half hour run time that could easily have been trimmed, ironically enough, by cutting the unnecessary and largely fictional encounter with a love interest. I did not find the acting of  Emile Hirsch all that impressive, but I know I'm in the minority on that.

3 stars out of 4, 70 out of 100.

One more thing: Chris died of starvation in part because he was cut off from escape by an 'impassible' river. Had he carried a map he would have known that a 1/4th of a mile down there was a tram across that river, and an hours walk in the other direction would have led him to an emergency station packed with rations - again, clearly identified on local maps.

 

* let me be clear in respect to his memory: I speak of the character, who may or may not reflect this part of his life accurately

Earl Weaver's rant - WARNING: Foul Language!!!

Oh man if you have sensitive ears kindly skip over this post, as I would prefer not to have AOL overreact if you're offended. And even if you swear like a sailor, for pete's sake watch the volume if you're at work!

This is an actual radio show interview from back in the day featuring Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver, who turned 78 yesterday.

On the second listen I think I wet my pants from laughing, but again, this isn't a clip for sissies.

Happy Birthday Earl!

 

Tags: Earl Weaver

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Uh-Oh - the snack version

While I was blogging I polished off what I thought was a decent sized box of dried figs. Healthy, tasty, and reasonably kind to the diet considering the late night alternative would normally be a bowl of ice cream.

Except a moment ago I looked with horror at the box and realized they weren't figs at all.

They were prunes. An entire box of prunes.

Lord help our plumbing tonight.  And mine.

The Last post about the party (I promise)

For family/friends and the bored: here's a who's who/visual guest list from the party, just for posterity's sake. It's mainly the people *not* pictured in the prior posts.  BTW, I've given up on the red eye for tonight. Deal people ;)

Grandpa and Grandma K

Dean and Jen, family friends

My niece and Smiley

Man he loves that girl! He latches right onto her in the pool too.

YaYa's Godfather and my best friend

Our friend Chris

My cousin, LuLu's Godmother

Psychfun commented that she loved Lump's shirt (thanks!). Lisa picked out the outfit the day before specifically to avoid showing dirt while she crawled, ate, etc.

My other (Milwaukee based) niece

Here's two Smiley pics. What a class act. Who's raising that kid with such bad manners?

Also in attendance: Aunt's Mabel and Royette, Dean and Jen's kids, Brian and DeLaura and their kids, and the usual mess of Slapinions and Grandma J and Grandpa J.

Lump's 1st Birthday Party - Part Two

Ok, where we we? Oh yeah. Up next on the agenda was the pinata. We went in order from youngest to oldest.

Oddly enough the broken pinata became a focal point for the kids the rest of the day. The severed head was used as a hat, a candy holder, and misc. other uses, while a teddy bear was shoved inside the body with only its head peeping out, making it look like the pinata had a shrunken head. Kids are weird man.

Then on to the cake and the singing. It was a great ice cream cake.

 

Then onto an old family (Polish?) tradition. In front of the one year old you place a rosary, a dollar coin, a shot glass, and something I'm forgetting (I'll have to go back and read Smiley's 1st birthday post). Whatever order they grab the items is the order of priority each will play in their life.

If I'm not mistaken she chose the money, then the booze, then the rosary.

Then it was time for the presents!

We were responsible for getting Lump the Fisher Price Noah's Ark set you see above, which she adores.

Anyhow, great party in the end. I really did have fun, and I hope the guests did too. Considering the last person left at 5:30pm, I'd say the answer was 'yes'.

Happy Birthday Lump!