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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Trick or Treat - October 25th 2008



Trick or treat in my neighborhood fell on my 12th Wedding anniversary this year, which I admit annoyed me at first. Those emotions quickly retreated once we hit the annual trick-or-treat trail.

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Along for the ride: my four, Lisa, our friend Chris and her three kids, along with their father, and my sister C and my niece.

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Nighttime trick or treat is *not* the norm in Milwaukee, but it is allowed in my neighborhood. It's still new enough to me that the novelty hasn't worn off. It's a whole different atmosphere than daytime trick-or-treat, although it has its drawbacks too - grumpy little kids out past their bedtime, increased danger from passing cars, and, of course, Ghouls

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Here's some pics of the walk:

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Smiley loved his outfit btw, choosing it over an assortment of options. It was hard to find in his size, so I'm glad his affection for it didn't wear off.

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Note: this isn't me in this pic. It's another bearded overweight guy in a green pullover. Seriously.

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Along the way we ran into a school friend of LuLu's

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The temperature dropped at the same time the sun did, but we made do:

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This past Friday their school held their annual Halloween Social, which we'd intended to become an anual tradition. Unfortunately Lu was sticken with a fever and couldn't go, so Lisa, YaYa, and my niece KayKay went by themselves:

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Happy (belated) Halloween!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Vote 'No' on the Sick Leave Referendum November 4th



If there was ever a national election where a Milwaukeean could safely skip voting – if it wasn’t for a sense of civic duty that is – it would seem to be this year.

Obama holds an insurmountable lead in the state, the House race is uncontested, and there are no local races of note. Rock the Vote slogans are all well and good, but in fact there is very little difference a Milwaukeean can make with their ballot.

That is, until you examine one of the referendums.

On the table is an ordinance requiring all employers in the City of Milwaukee to provide up to nine paid sick days per year to their employees.

I’ll admit it’s difficult to argue against the ‘Good Samaritan’ inertia behind the proposal. The advertising for it is full of imagery of mothers with their young children, sickly faces gazing at you with hopeful eyes. A vote against the ordinance, it is implied, is a vote against motherhood and children.

The government’s rationale for the law echoes this, with a ‘slippery slope’ argument spelled out in great detail. Through an elaborate Rube Goldberg like scenario, the lack of paid sick days means ‘the employee’s job productivity is likely to suffer’, ‘the health of the public [is jeopardized]’,’ ‘medical costs increase’, ‘hospitalization of patients . . sometimes becomes necessary, and ‘the family’s economic security [is] in jeopardy [thereby] increasing the likelihood that taxpayer-funded sources will have to be used to provide for the family’s needs’.

Thus, says the government, “to safeguard the public welfare, health, safety, and prosperity of Milwaukee” it is necessary to enact a paid sick leave ordinance.

I don’t where to begin.

For the sake of this argument I’ll gloss over the political implications that say this is an abuse of government power, the economic theories that look at it as an unwelcome intrusion into the marketplace, and the ethical ramifications of such a bold move towards socialism.

I agree with all of the above to some extent, but let’s be honest: the law appeals to the good in all of us and few will look beyond that to examine the issue. Debating philosophy is unlikely to change that. So instead, let’s talk about the holy grail of any election: the voter’s wallet.

I acknowledge the importance of paid sick time, both as a means of reducing time lost to illness and as a vital, morale boosting aspect of employment. I think any employer financially able to offer it gains a significant advantage in recruiting and retaining an employee. By all means, if you have the ability, put it on the table.

But note that I said ‘financially able’. Even in the best of times – and these are not the best of times – the majority of employers will be unable to adequately support the burden imposed by this law.

The law allows paid sick leave to be used after ninety days of employment, with one hour being accumulated for every thirty worked, with a cap of nine seventy-two sick hours, and forty for those described as employed by a small business.

The sick leave can be used for mental or physical illness, preventive care, or recovery from abuse or stalking. This applies to the employee, their spouse, child, parent, grandparent, or ‘extended family member’.

At no time may the employer require ‘unreasonable documentation of illness . . .’. Given that the ordinance later details confidentiality restrictions, it would seem that no explanation can reasonably be required by the employer.

Unlike the explanations for the law, no convoluted rationale is needed to argue against it. Taxpayers throughout the city will be forced to pay for the bureaucracy needed to implement the program. An employer, in a best case scenario, may lose an honest employee for up to five business days. During that time the small business owner, who may have only one or two employees on her payroll, will be forced to pay both for the time off and for the hours worked by their replacement.

You think that cost won't be passed on to the consumer? Think again.

Let’s be a little more blunt. The vast majority of sick days will be consumed as nothing more than ‘vacation days’. Why? Partially because it’s human nature, and partially because the law can make no distinction between the student working for beer money, who has no incentive to work, and a single Mom looking for every hour she can to make ends meet.

Add to all of the above the increase in administrative and legal costs for business. The ordinance requires documenting and storing data related to this law for a minimum of five years. . The law also takes care to ensure that people who, ‘in good faith’, make false allegations are protected from retaliation, which translates to a whole heap of retaliatory complaints by disgruntled employees and all the legal bills that go with it.

Payrolls will be cut. Businesses may be forced to close. New companies, if they were foolish enough to consider moving to Milwaukee in the first place, will never do so now.

High taxes, a diminishing population, a fractured education system spitting out unprepared applicants and well-meaning but paralyzing laws? That’s not a recipe for success; not for the city, not for business, and not for the hard working people of Milwaukee who will be victimized by the very law intended to help them.

On November 4th, vote ‘no’ on the paid sick leave referendum.

The demise of AOL Journals & The Skateboard

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That's what you get when you try to view the original Slapinons site, home to this blog for just shy of four years. It's a shame, and I'll miss it. RIP.

I'm very annoyed at AOL. You might have picked up on my absence here for much of the last week. About the time of YaYa's birthday I realized that about 1000 of my blog's pictures - 1021 to be exact - failed to move over to Blogger.

That meant I had to download the pictures, one by one, from AOL Hometown, then upload them all to Photobucket, then go spreading the new html around the site like pixie dust. I managed to save all the pictures but didn't get them on the site in time. No worry, really. The erroneous code is still in place, and so when I find an entry with a big red 'x' I just adjust the code.

Still, what a pain.

* * * *

The other week some workers left behind a trio of skateboards. With the business owner's permission I took one home, intending to keep it for an older Smiley. But the kids caught wind of it and wanted to try it out. They weren't very good at it and could barely get it moving (unless they held onto my hand as I walked alongside).

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It was a beautiful evening. Sorry about all the blurry/grainy pics, but my camera phone isn't exactly the best in low-light.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Quote of the Day



Today YaYa's second grade class held their mock election, complete with actual ballots provided by an election worker. The verdict? McCain won by a landslide, with only four dissenting votes.

Guess who was one of the four who chose Obama? Yup, it was YaYa, no doubt swayed by her best friend and her twin brother, both of whom live in a house adorned with pro-Obama and anti-Bush signs.

"But she screwed up her ballot," Lisa said when she called to tell me. "At first her teacher couldn't tell who she voted for because she'd gotten confused and marked both."

I couldn't hold back. "Hmm," I said, "Maybe she will grow up to be a Democrat after all."

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Happy 7th Birthday YaYa!



It's been a grand 7th birthday for my YaYa, with plenty to write about, but it's also been such a busy 24 hours that I'm too winded to write about it now. But I'll give you a hint: the guy in the picture is Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block.




Tired or not, I felt it'd be bad karma to go to bed without blogging a Happy Birthday wish for my firstborn :)

Happy 7th Birthday YaYa, and 100 - no 107 more! You'll never know how much your Mom and I love you :)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Munich



Munich obviously isn't a new movie, and I assume most people know the gist of the plot. Just in case it slips from your memory: following the abduction and murder of the Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympic Games, Prime Minister Golda Meir authorizes a clandestine group to assassinate the figures involved in the planning and financing of the terrorist operation. The movie follows the leader of the group as he morphs from confident operative to a morally plagued paranoid.

Let me state for the record that the accounts of the assassination squad are deemed by historians as historically shaky and/or a downright fabrication. While Meir's Israel was certainly a nation that would strike back, and strike back hard, it's difficult to believe they would do so with a hodge-podge group of accountants, toymakers, and untested operatives.

That's not a fault of Spielberg but of the source material, and Spielberg acknowledges this by treating it as a fictional portrayal that underlines the moral gray area of Jew/Arab relations.

Visually Spielberg displays a deft hand behind the camera that is worthy of praise, and as a movie Munich is an interesting and solid film. However, I take issue with the moral ambiguity that he tries to show, as the agents become no better/worse than those they've been sent to kill.

Horsehockey.

Do you want to know the clearest indication (on screen) that the two groups are as different as night and day? The Israeli heroes of the movie, for all the 'gray areas' they inhabit, mourn the bloodshed they've caused, fear for their own souls and sanity, and go far out of the way to try and remove innocents from harm. On the other hand their opposition kidnaps and murders unarmed men while Palestinian women and children cheer the news on TV.

To me, as filmed, Munich firmly shows there is no comparison between the two groups. I have a feeling that conclusion was Spielberg's actual intent, and if so I applaud the man for (covertly) skirting convention by stating that there is or at least can be a right and a wrong side in even the bloodiest of conflicts.

3.25 out of 4, 80 out of 100.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Lisa and Dad!


Today marks the birthday of both Lisa and my Father, and may they both enjoy many more.

Not much excitement on the birthday front for Lisa, I'm afraid. I took the day off work and we hung out together all morning, but we had to wait for Smiley to start school at noon before we could go out to lunch. Even then no one would take the baby off our hands so we had her tag along with us to the restaurant. By the time we were done it was time to pick up the kids and then Lisa went to work.

Swell.

In the evening a hectic but nice dinner at my Mom's house, complete with cake and presents.

Anyhow, Happy Birthday and much love to them both!

Fantasy Football Week 6 (NFL Week 7)

Well I just flat out got creamed this week. Pathetic, but part of me doesn't mind. The Colts - and I was playing Manning and Harrison - were stomped by the Pack this week. The fun I had watching that perfectly executed game was worth the loss. Unless it costs me a playoff berth, natch.

So I'll fall back to .500 at 3-3. That SUCKS, but whatever. Next Sunday is another day Rhett, and I intend to finish it at 4-3.



SlapJacks VS L-TRAIN

4-1-0 Points
Pos Player Actual
QB Peyton Manning
(Ind - QB) 3.53
WR Santana Moss
(Was - WR) 15.50
WR Marvin Harrison
(Ind - WR) 1.10
WR Braylon Edwards
(Cle - WR) 7.80
RB Jamal Lewis
(Cle - RB) 9.80
RB Ricky Williams
(Mia - RB) 1.60
TE Zach Miller
(Oak - TE) 5.70
K Mason Crosby
(GB - K) 10.00
DEF San Diego
(SD - DEF) 0.00
Total 55.03 Points

Pos Player Actual
QB Brett Favre
(NYJ - QB) 3.07
WR Greg Jennings
(GB - WR) 3.20
WR Lee Evans
(Buf - WR) 16.90
WR Chad Johnson
(Cin - WR) 13.20
RB Frank Gore
(SF - RB) 6.10
RB Marshawn Lynch
(Buf - RB) 17.20
TE Greg Olsen
(Chi - TE) 15.40
K Rian Lindell
(Buf - K) 12.00
DEF Washington
(Was - DEF) 9.50
Total 96.57

Favre = Benedict Arnold? Maybe




You'd think that the fine performance by Aaron Rodgers in the past six games - well, five of the last six - would help squash the creepy Brett Favre obsession here in Wisconsin.

Apparently not, as local stations run commercials pimping next week's Jets game (!). Socialist himself was annoyed Favre's Jets played at the same time as the Pack this week, handicapping his viewing pleasure.

Well what do you think about your hero now folks? There are reports that Favre called opposing teams to feed them information about the Packer's offense

Sure, nothings proven in court, and the reports might prove as false as the web fury over the 'Kill him!' screech at a Palin rally, [which was later denied by the very Secret Service agents that were scattered in the crowd].

Favre certainly denies it, and by text message no less. Of course, not so long ago he swore he wasn't considering returning to the game, and he text messaged that too.

Several NFL sources state that Favre initiated a call to the Lions and spent between an hour and ninety minutes giving a "dissertation, every single thing that the Green Bay Packers do on offense".

Oh, and for the record, the Lions have issued a 'no comment' and their individual coach's have pointedly not stepped forward to deny the report.

Allegedly, he's done the same thing before other Packer games this year too. Stay classy Brett, stay classy.

How did the current Packers react to the news? Charles Woodson: "I don't respect that. If they called him and he gives them information, that's one thing. But to seek a team out, because, you know, I guess you're trying to sabotage this team, you know I don't respect that. I know he's been the greatest player around here for a long time but there's no honor in that."

It's pretty blatant that Brett not only holds a grudge but prefers to deal with it like a spoiled child. He's gone public with the fact that he called injured Dallas QB Tony Romo to wish him well, but has done nothing publicly or privately for Aaron Rodgers, who's played through a shoulder injury for two weeks.

Cullen Jenkins: "I don't have nothing against Brett personally. But I think in his position, he could at least show a little more class, a little more respect to Aaron in that regard."

Here's hoping that, if confirmed, it kills the Brett mania around here for good. Oh, and Brett?

I enjoyed the Jets OT loss to Oakland. Hope you did too.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Just your average quiz result



In the comments on the 'Say What?' post Beth brought up an old question that plagues me. I have no idea why, but people - sometimes people I just met or have no personal connection to - seek me out to talk about some of the most sensitive and emotional items in their lives. If I wanted to I could rattle off the name of a person who told me a 'deep dark' secret within days of our meeting, at a point in time when I'd have been unlikely to divulge my middle name, much less such an embarrasing item. Former employees call me after half a decade to discuss this or that, other people have sought me out to talk about a loved one's illness, their problems with their spouse, childhood trauma's, or as noted in the prior post, innapropriate bedroom data ranging from activites performed, desired, or rejected, and with whom.

I don't get it - I'm not even that nice to people.

On the other hand I do manage to keep my mouth shut, I'm not very judgemental (unless you tell me you're a Democrat :) and I look like a guy who could rip your head off while known as a goofy softie. Eh, who knows.

On a somewhat related note I no longer have the link to this quiz, but I stumbled across the results while combing through my email. True or not? I'll let others judge.

[btw the photo above came with the quiz. As you can see, I'm also experimenting with photo placement. Bear with me.]

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

Compared to other takers
15/100 You scored -6 on HumanityToNature, higher than 15% of your peers.
38/100 You scored -1 on BackgroundToForeground, higher than 38% of your peers.
96/100 You scored 13 on DetailsToBigPicture, higher than 96% of your peers.
16/100 You scored -5 on ColorToShape, higher than 16% of your peers.

Chasing Darkness by Robert Crais




In Chasing Darkness private investigator Elvis Cole is back, this time to right a wrong he himself might have played a part in creating. Cole once cleared a man in a murder case. Years later when the same man commits suicide and grisly pictures of the crime scenes are found in his possession, it becomes clear to police that a guilty man had been set free.

Cole isn't so sure, and believes his original investigation had exposed the truth, the photos be damned. Was the man guilty? Did Cole inadvertently let a killer go free to strike again? Or is there a much darker truth loose in Los Angeles? Cole and his friend and partner Joe Pike are about to find out.

I was once a great Crais fan, but I (reluctantly) confess that I believe his work has slipped in recent years. There's nothing wrong with Chasing Darkness per se, as it was a quick and enjoyable read. There just seems to be less, oh, 'heart' is as good a word as any, in his novels and a more formulaic feel.

Cole is still Cole, Pike is still Pike, and while that's not a bad thing it also highlights a lack of development over the course of the series. As for the plot, I felt like I'd seen it all before and knew what was coming not only around the next corner, but the three after that. It reads like an enjoyable but standard issue movie of the week.

I don't think I'm too harsh in my assessment, as I think most people will close the book with the same conclusion.

2.5 out of 4, 60 out of 100.

Say What?

This morning an average looking, middle aged customer came up to me and mentioned it was her husband's birthday. After some friendly but banal conversation I asked her what she'd bought him for the big day. She replied that she wasn't buying him anything - instead she was 'giving' him a night with another woman.

"Really?" I said, caught a little off guard. I'd never seen the woman before, and I thought it might be a joke.

"Sure," she said. "I just worry about what he'll think. I tried to arrange it once before and he got upset."

I have no idea why she was so forward, but at this point she filled in some more details.

"You're going to be there?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she said, "I'll be in on the fun."

Crap. On my birthday all I got was a trip to Benihana's, and I had to pick up the check. ;)

One of these days, when I've moved on with my life and a polite statute of limitations has passed for everyone involved, I'd love to document all the weird anecdotes of my work life.

I've worked with a woman who started life as a man, a 500 pound woman who crapped on office chairs, and people who claimed to be paralyzed but miraculously regained the use of their limbs. I've fired an employee for setting up a tent at work and taking a nap, and had another who spent her break each day looking at corpses on the Internet. And those are just past employees/co-workers.

I've also worked for bosses who, well, they were unusual.

As for anecdotes about my customers . . . that's a pair of books right there. I've testified in a murder trial against one, met Jimmy Page and Jessica Simpson, and on and on.

It's a shame my only real hope for retirement is a good and fatal heart attack, because I'd love to spend my golden years putting that all down on paper.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

On comebacks, Lions, stench and ships

Let me go on record as being disgusted by the Red Sox comeback in game five of the ALCS. Down 7-0 and winning it in the bottom of the ninth? Ugh, what a lousy evening in the Slapinions household. Pass me the Pepto.

Outside of the Cubs there is no team in MLB that I detest more than the Red Sox. (although my hatred is tempered by their recent success. At least now I can't critique their fans for following a perennial loser.)

That late inning collapse might be enough to break the backs of the Rays, but if I was their manager I'd tell them the God's honest truth: it was a game, one game, and nothing more. Shake it off and seal the deal.

Rays in six, unless God is napping and the Devil rules in Florida.

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Unrelated to my Red Sox bias, although you won't believe me: What's with all this man-love towards Dustin Pedroia? My gosh, the guy didn't create time travel or cure cancer; he didn't even invent Robitussin. To hear the announcers talk he's had just the *hardest* life ever and is such a scrappy little guy yada yada. [with scrappy being a codeword for 'short as your ten year old'].

The guy makes a fortune and he's barely old enough to drink. I think his life's OK.

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On one of the ESPN channels I caught a replay of a Lions/Packers playoff game from 1993(?), the one where Brett Favre comes into his own with a cross-field touchdown bomb to Sterling Sharpe. I enjoyed the in-depth analysis of the plays (wish baseball coverage was that detailed) and it was great to see the dawn of the Favre era again.

Of special note was a fan in the stands on his cell phone; a great big honking brick held up to his ear. Technology does march on, doesn't it?

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According to this article space smells of steak and hot metal. Astronauts have reported the smells on their space suits following excursions outside their vehicles. The aroma of fried steak and welding is now trying to be recreated in a lab in order to better train future astronauts.

I have no idea how this would aid in training, since it has nothing to do with their actual work, but it is a neat little bit of trivia.

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In other news the last remaining survivor of the Titanic disaster is auctioning off Titanic memorabilia to pay her nursing home bills.

Millvina Dean was only two months old when she escaped the ship that took her father's life. With no memories of the event she ignored the weight of Titanic fandom until the 1980's, when she became more active in those circles. Now confined to a nursing home at age 96, she will be selling off the suitcase her parent's used on the trip, letters offering her Mother survivor benefits, and rare prints.

There's certainly a pitiful aspect to this story, of course, but on the other hand the ship has molded her life for nearly a century. It's only fitting it now provides her the means to live out her life in comfort.

Can a three year old master chopsticks? Our trip to Benihana

Ever since my birthday in March I've been telling the family I'd take them to Benihana . Last Friday, following Smiley's evaluation, I made good on the promise.

The Milwaukee Benihana's is located downtown, right on the riverfront. We parked in their underground garage, which was a bit hit with the kids because it offered a view of the river.

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We went at lunch time to take advantage of the discounted rates and smaller crowds, and were seated alone at our hibachi table. We ordered the lunch special: steak and chicken, fried rice, veggies and salad for Lisa and I, french fries, chicken and fried rice for the kids. (have you ever seen french fries cooked on a hibachi grill?)

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For an appetizer we ordered warm bean pods - their name momentarily escapes me - and I was worried the kids would turn up their noses at them. Instead they greedily attacked them, each one creating a pile of discarded pods on their plate. They actually ate more of that then their chicken. Huh. Whodathunkit?

As to the chopsticks, they all did pretty well with them (helped by the fact that the chopsticks were joined together and not separated). Smiley, however, showed an exceptional knack, picking up items as small as a tiny clump of rice and flipping it into his mouth. Of the three he ate the most and was willing to try anything we put in front of him.

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The kids loved the onion volcano

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and marveled at the creation of their dinner

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It was a good time and a great lunch, marred only by the bill at the end. Yikes. Thank God it was a payday.

I knew there was a reason I've only been there twice in my life.

Friday, October 17, 2008

A long update on Smiley and LuLu's speech

I apologize in advance for this long winded post.

Last week Friday I went with Lisa to Smiley's parent-teacher conference. The good: Ms. Heidi seems to genuinely adore him (a mutual feeling, as Smiley is smitten with her). She says he tries hard, is nice to others, and is a very caring and loving young boy. She even commented on his smile :) The woman would form a Smiley fan club if it wasn't for professional ethics getting in the way.

The bad: the speech is not progressing very fast, although there has been improvement. She was also very unhappy with the sign language I taught him, saying it hampered his speech. I guess the first week of school was spent un-learning the signs and encouraging him to vocalize.

More troubling is his attention in class, which is noticeably below the age appropriate level. If she spends one-on-one time with him most of the time will be devoted to keeping his attention and/or repeating tasks that were hampered by him (mentally) wandering away. She's even modified a few classroom activities to keep Smiley involved.

Well, shi*.

I am well aware that ADD is over-diagnosed in this country and that some of it is a lack of modern understanding of how boys and girls differ in the classroom. BUT . . Lisa suffers from non-hyperactive ADD and her father has a fearsomely bad case of ADD, so chances are good he's inherited some of that genetic mix. We're not taking this too seriously yet and will let it ride for a few years to see how it all shakes out.

All of the above put me in a sour mood, from the critique of my well meaning sign language to the whole question mark about ADD. Even at the time I was thinking 'hey, this isn't the end of the world. There are far worse things out there,' but I was also thinking 'F this. Just once I want some good news about my kid.'.

So I wanted out of there. I didn't make a scene or say anything out of line but I'm afraid it was readily apparent that I was pushing us out the door. I did drop one line about Smiley being my 'only son', which in context painted the girls as second-class castoffs. Not good.

Lisa was royally pis*ed at me and let me have it, and rightfully so. Ah, everyone can have a bad morning.

* * * *

Then on the 13th I went alone (due to a lack of a babysitter) to the panel hearing on the need for speech therapy for LuLu. In their professional opinion she does not require it. She tested above average in intelligence, comprehension, and vocabulary. Her speech is behind (a 37 out of the minimum 40 if I followed correctly) but they think that given her age and the other skills she will adjust it by herself if given time. If in a year she still has the same problems, well, then they'll re-evaluate.

* * * * *

Then a minor miracle. This past Monday I picked Smiley up from school and he greeted me with a big smile and a 'Hi Dada', and Ms. Heidi said he did very well that day. Then we noticed he was babbling a lot more - maybe it was just that we were paying attention, but I don't think so.

Thursday a minor epiphany; Smiley went home with word that he'd done exceptionally well that day and had talked more than he ever had before. 'Boat' was said for the first time, among other words.

When I was putting him to bed that evening he showed me a book and grunted a request for me to read to him. "Not tonight," I said. He scrunched his eyebrows in sorrow and said 'pu leece da da'. I was floored!

"Lisa, come here! Lisa, now!" I said. Smiley happily repeated the word for Mama several times, although its clarity, as usual, diminished with each repetition.

Today the word 'bu lu' (blue) was used, and again congratulations were in order. To be honest his vocabulary is not very advanced from Lump's (who is saying 'dada' 'mama' 'uh-uh' and 'bye') but there is progress.

And that's a hell of a lot more than we were expecting only a week ago.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Halloweenie?

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I suppose it's amusing that this phallic decoration rests on the lawn of the gay couple across the street :) It's a little surprising how many gay 'rainbow' flags dot the landscape in my neighborhood, and there's even a gay tavern nearby. How do I know it's a gay bar? On the door, visible from the street outside, is a big sign that reads "This is a gay bar".

In other news of the neighborhood, I believe I'm becoming a familiar sight as I ride through on my bike, more often than not pulling a trailer full of kids. I took a brisk 40 minute ride two days in a row recently, followed by a 20 minute ride the next day. I even took Smiley to school by bike Monday. If nothing else, I've gotten my money out of those purchases.

On the other hand not all is well. I am very stressed, more so than at any point in recent years. Financial concerns abound - not with me, but with my family - and I bear a position of some legal (and moral) responsibility for their welfare. Lord knows I'm not rolling in the dough myself, and for my own home, the gas bills over the upcoming winter scare me to death.

As far as the blog goes, I miss the wealth of comments from the ol' AOL days. Where is everyone?

Work isn't gravy baby either. That big account had to pull out shortly after the market collapse, but while they were around they gave us a solid start to the fall season. Not that it matters, as the transition to the new ownership is still fleshing out and changes abound; the future is once again uncertain. It is not enjoyable to go to work lately. That's not a requirement, of course, but it's certainly something I miss.

Ugh. I have a throbbing, sharp pain behind my ear. If I don't chill out I'm going to end this post by FDR'ing it right here and now.

Better tomorrows folks, better tomorrows.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

War of the Worlds and The Lost World

Last Thursday, as a present for his 34th birthday, I treated my friend Tre to a performance of War of the Worlds by the visiting L.A. Theatre Works company. It was held at the Wilson Center For the Arts, a theater a mile or so off of 198th and Capitol, smack dab in the middle of nowhere.

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They did have cool bathrooms tho'

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This was not your standard play, but rather a live, onstage recitation of the famous Orson Welle's broadcast that spread panic when it first aired in 1938. The cast included character actors from several TV shows, although the only face I recognized was Jerry Hardin's from the X-Files.

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The theater was only half-full and more than a fair share of the audience shared our packed row, which was odd. We moved at intermission, and a fine thing too, as the guy next to me fidgeted so badly I felt like screaming 'Dude!' in the middle of the performance.

Anyhow, the stage was bare, except for a pair of raised platforms and a series of microphones. The actors each played multiple roles and it was neat to see how the sound effects were made - usually by means so simple and ingenious you were left shaking your head.

At first the audience didn't know how to react to the unusual performance and greeted it with nervous amusement. But as the show went on, building tension and despair as mankind sank into a global Holocaust, the mood of the crowd grew dim and solemn. As the play ended the room was quiet and it took a moment before the applause began.

I have heard the original broadcast on cassette, and it is a powerful piece of art, one whose underlying meaning is defined by whatever era listens in: those around for the lead-up to WWII, the Cold War, the present War on Terror.

Powerful stuff, to be sure, but I am still a little dumbfounded as to how people 'fell' for the broadcast, at least so far as to panic and flee. There are several wide leaps in chronology during the play, with a character finishing a scene and then referencing it as having took place 'an hour ago', and the grim journey at the end consumes weeks of time.

After intermission a vast change of pace. The group put on a show of Sir Arthur Conan Doye's The Lost World, a campy tale of an Amazon expedition that uncovers an island of dinosaurs. It was tongue in cheek the whole way with audience participation to boot.

If I have one criticism of The Lost World it is that the troupe resorted to awkward and stereotypical portrayals of their guide and the Natives. Frankly, the Speedy Gonzalez was . . inappropriate. Don't blame Doyle; by the dialogue it was obvious these roles were tailored in the present day. I'm hardly a slave to PC, but it did bother me a bit.

After the play we headed out for dinner and found Pedro's, a favorite Mexican restaurant chain of yours truly, bankrupt and closed. :( We wound up at Uno's Pizza instead.

A damn good time and (I hope) a nice birthday gift for Tre.

Why a vasectomy was a good idea - four kids ago!

It sounds like an exaggeration, or a lame joke, but it's not. LuLu simply cannot leave or enter our house without breaking into tears.

Out of the last twenty or so times I've been with her, be it walking to the car to go to school, heading home from swim, or just plain walking inside from the backyard she will find a reason to cry.

She doesn't like that she has to sit on the passenger side of the car. Or she's decided that her shoes, which were fine all day at school, no longer fit her. Sometimes she's angry because Smiley got to the door quicker, or because her schoolbag is too heavy or because the fourth moon of Saturn aligned with the northern hemisphere of Pluto.

Last night I thought we were home free. We got back from a bike ride (tears on the way out - check) and she made it all the way to the door. Then she stumbled and fell to one knee, a distance of all of six to eight inches at a speed of .5 mph, not even tearing her tights, and the waterworks started.

As my Grandma would say (and excuse the phonetic spelling) Maria Baja, Zomptnee Thromba. Which, as far as I knew as a kid, meant Mary Mother of God, Knock it the F off Dan.

70% of the time the kid is great, but in that other 30% she is the whiniest, most insecure, tearful, wimpiest loudmouth in all of Milwaukee. It's always 'why don't I ever get X' or 'why does he/she always gets x" or "That's not fair!' or 'I wanna . ..'

As I told her the other day during a tantrum, "Lu, I feel sorry for all five of your husbands."

Not that YaYa is any better. Oh, she doesn't cry. But when it comes to how she interacts with LuLu you can look her in the eye and see the evil little wheels spinning. The other day my sister was over and put the kids to bed. From the kitchen downstairs I heard Lu complain about her stereo and YaYa graciously offered to switch with her. My sister praised her for her generosity.

Paniced alarm bells started going off in my head. I ran to the stairs "Chrissy, don't you dare fall for that! Check her radio and see if it even works!"

It did work actually, to my genuine surprise. But it didn't come with a headphone, which is what YaYa desired. YaYa was born to be an only child, and every day she silently curses us for not making that a reality.

Smiley's rather exempt from this conversation, as he's been relatively well behaved of late. Granted he is always the last to fall asleep, and 'round about nine o'clock I'll hear the far-from-heartwarming pitter-patter of little feet upstairs and have go up to set him straight. But that's small potatoes.

Lump, on the other hand, is shaping up to join the crew. The heck with sweet nicknames, I should refer to her as 'The Destroyer'. In the last ten minutes she has dug through the garbage, poured a cup of water on the floor then used the distraction of my efforts to clean it to go the bathroom and ditch the cup in the toilet. Moreover I just now, at this very moment, finished an epic five minute battle to prevent her grubby little hands from pulling down the keyboard as I typed.

Dangit. I just lost the keyboard battle.

Most days I can handle the chaos just fine. But last week when I came home to a destroyed living room, YaYa in tears outside, Smiley and LuLu fighting on the trampoline, my mother-in-law sitting on my couch, and a backyard covered in half-broken toys I just couldn't handle it.

"I told you," Lisa said later. "You should start getting liquored up before you come home. It helps."

Fantasy Football Week 5 (NFL week 6)

Whoohoo! Going into Monday night I was fifteen points behind my buddy, known around here as Socialist. But in a taste of what's to come on Election Day the 'Publican rose to the challenge and smoked the liberal, spanking him by more than 30 electoral votes, er, fantasy points :)

[Much obliged to the cast and crew of the Cleveland Browns. I know I've pis*ed and moaned about how you've let me down in the first four games, but I forgive you - as long as you keep up the monster point totals.]

The win brings me to 3-2 and fifth place in the league, well within striking distance of a playoff berth (which, granted, is month's away). Next up, one of the strongest teams in the league, the L-Train.


SlapJacks

Pos Player Opp Status Projected Actual
QB Peyton Manning
(Ind - QB) 23.83
WR Santana Moss
(Was - WR) 2.20
WR Marvin Harrison
(Ind - WR) 24.30
WR Braylon Edwards
(Cle - WR) 27.40
RB Fred Taylor
(Jac - RB) 0.00
RB Jamal Lewis
(Cle - RB) 17.20
TE Zach Miller
(Oak - TE) 4.60
K Mason Crosby
(GB - K) @Sea12.00
DEF San Diego
(SD - DEF) NE W, 17.00
Total 128.53

The Rodgers Era

B Philip Rivers
(SD - QB) 25.20
WR Terrell Owens
(Dal - WR) 4.20
WR Muhsin Muhammad
(Car - WR) 6.80
WR Bernard Berrian
(Min - WR) 21.40
RB Adrian Peterson
(Min - RB) 6.60
RB Edgerrin James
(Ari - RB) 2.90
TE Kellen Winslow
(Cle - TE) 0.00
K Nate Kaeding
(SD - K) 12.00
DEF New York
(NYJ - DEF) 18.50
Total 97.60

* * * *

On a more serious note, a recent poll gave Obama a 17 point lead here in Wisconsin. Wisconsin's vote totals will always hinge on two areas - Madison, a hopeless hotbed of the Left, and Milwaukee. Majority rules, I know, but something about Milwaukee's vote troubles me.

I've mentioned before how my hometown is exclusively the right of one party, and always has been. We were run by the Socialist Party until the late 1940's, when the Democrats took the reigns. Top to bottom the city is run by Democrats and has been for sixty years, with many running unopposed for office.

I believe a monopoly of that magnitude is anathema for a republic, and I would say the same if the Republicans had the same stranglehold. There is no truly original thought, no incentive for honest improvement, no competition to spur progress. You may point to cities which consistently vote Republican and hold them up as a counterexample - off the top of my head, perhaps Dallas or Austin, although I honestly don't know - but I will bet you there's some odd duck Democrat that sneaks into office there every decade or so.

[oh, the Milwaukee County Exec is a Republican, which defies all odds, but he was originally carried in by the suburban vote, and even then only on the heels of a corrupt and disgraced Dem. administration]

People here vote for local offices out of pure habit and tradition, and with rare exception that carries over into the Presidential vote. The idea that our herd mentality translates into carrying Wisconsin and thus potentially changing the course of the nation's future . .well, that annoys the hell out of me. Milwaukee would probably embrace Obama even if (gasp!) a two-party system existed here. Well and good if they did.

But that should at least be an actual *decision* and not just a habit we picked up from our grandparents, no?