Quote

Rome's pace. Rome's race.

Junie to the Rescue!

Junie has announced that she wants to be a Rescue Hero for Halloween. She is also convinced that the wildfires in Colorado would be put out if they would only call the Rescue Heroes for help.

Question for the Room

Question for the room:

I was considering a campaign to replace Dan's recently stolen bike for his birthday or Christmas.

But then, in a recent post, Dan referred to himself as "middle aged."

So now I'm conflicted: bicycle, or big TRIcycle, of the type suitable for a pleasant ride to the shuffleboard court?

I mean, we must consider the problems that such geriatrics have with balance yes?

:D

-Fred Bryan 

A Milestone

A milestone reached today with the kids, the 2nd event in less than a week to reduce me to a depressive mess. It is not fair. When the youngest gets too old for something, it is time to make a new kid . . . but no new models for 5 years 🙁

Missing: My copy of Grant's Memoirs

I am highly bleeping annoyed that my copy of US Grant's memoirs has gone missing. I am 340ish pages in, and I can't find it anywhere. In other news, spent the day getting work done in the yard (and earning a sunburn on my back. Twas a time my back hair would have shaded me, but I guess that hair is thinning too. Sigh.) Also paid some bills, made a few necessary calls, agreed on a bday party locale for LK, signed PD up for a reading tutor, dropped off/picked up kids from the 1st day of their summer rec program, went out to diner lunch with my lady, took a nap and grilled out for dinner. Not a bad day, minus the cxl'd class. 'Be better if I could find that book tho'

Today is the 3rd anniversary of MJ's death. the 62nd anniversary of the start of the Korean War and the 136th anniversary of the Battle of Little Bighorn. RIP to all the great American's lost above.

Disappointing News

More sucky news. A writing class I was scheduled to begin tonight (focusing on feature magazine articles) has been cancelled due to insufficient enrollment. :(

RIP Dear Schwinn - You served me well

Last night, strangely sans kids for the first night in just under two years, Lisa and went out to dinner and drinks. We got home late, and I thought about putting my beloved  Schwinn Moon Dog Cruiser bike in the shed, but exhaustion and the idea of some ahem, alone time, ahem, got the better of me. 


The bike was stolen overnight. 


I do not live in a bad neighborhood; quite the contrary. It isn't 90210, but it isn't Times Square circa 1978 either. My thoughts immediately jumped to the scrap metal 'collectors' who prowl the alleys. My thought process and emotions spilled out on Facebook: 


My bike was stolen from my yard overnight, in what appears to be the work of the scrappers who drive through the alley, grab what they can from nearby yards, and take off. This is the first time in 5 years that I've been a victim, but neighbors have had run-ins with them before. Next time I see them, [redatcted]


Just off the phone with[my friend The] Socialist, who scraps part-time. He said he'll keep an eye out for the bike and the suspected crew in question. Nothings gonna come of it, but wth, the one chance in a thousand . . .

 I am beyond angry and at Lisa's urging I have temporarily forced myself to stay in the house. Earlier, seeing a man on a bike, I slammed on my brakes - at a green light - with the intention of kicking his ass and getting my property, but of course it was just some dude wondering what idiot stops at a green light.

Just looking at all the posts on Slapinions labeled 'bike'. So many good times with that bike. Road trips with the kids one-on-one, and they all look so young in the pictures . . .


Talked to my neighbor across the alley. I asked him if he thought it was someone after my bike or the scrappers, and he said there's no question it was the latter. He said he now keeps a padlock on his gate at night to keep them out (they once stole the aluminum awning from above his back door!). Unfortunately, that didn't prevent them from stealing a strut from his garage door when he left it open to go inside for a leak.

So, my beloved black  Schwinn Moon Dog Cruiser I hope you are sold for scap, only so that you are recycled and come back into the care of a rider who deserves you. But, if said thief chooses to ride you - kindly lock your brakes and send him spiraling headfirst into traffic. 

My Bike was Stolen!!

My bike was stolen from my yard overnight, in what appears to be the work of the undocumented scrappers who drive through the alley, grab what they can from nearby yards, and take off. This is the first time in 5 years that I've been a victim, but neighbors have had run-ins with them before. Next time I see them, it's 1519 and I'm f--king Hernan Cortes.

Just off the phone with Socialist, who scraps part-time. He said he'll keep an eye out for the bike and the suspected crew in question. Nothings gonna come of it, but wth, the one chance in a thousand . . .

Talked to my neighbor across the alley. I asked him if he thought it was someone after my bike or the scrappers, and he said there's no question it was the latter. He said he now keeps a padlock on his gate at night to keep them out (they once stole the aluminum awning from above his back door!). Unfortunately, that didn't prevent them from stealing a strut from his garage door when he left it open to go inside for a leak.

Just looking at all the posts on Slapinions labeled 'bike'. So many good times with that bike. Road trips with the kids one-on-one, and they all look so young in the pictures . . .

The Finder

Just watched an episode of "The Finder". It's a good show, with quirky characters and an emphasis on 'fun'. Or should I say "was a good show", since it was cancelled by Fox. :(

Amblin

Just finished watching Steven Spielberg's 1968 short "Amblin'", which earned him a studio contract that would eventually lead him to fame and fortune. On a related note, I read an interview w/ Spielberg today in which he says that, if he had it to do over again, he would never have Roy Neary take off on the UFO at the end of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". He says that now, as a father of seven, the idea of Neary abandoning his wife and children would never fly with him (no pun intended). Bravo to Spielberg; that ending has bothered me (for that very reason) ever since I saw it as a kid. I also like his stance on*not* altering his films, likening them to 'signposts' of the age in which they were made.

Lisa and I get pulled over

Lisa and I were pulled over driving home tonight. The officer explained she'd pulled me over because the light over my license plate was dim . . . which roughly translated from cop-eze means "I'm pulling people over randomly because it's a Saturday night and I didn't realize you were a middle aged white guy. Move along sir, move along".

A Celebrity Opinion

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards attended the Yankees game today. Those two should never have split up.

Rent these - or not?

Smile is an English language foreign film set in Morocco. A group of multi-national college students set out on a camping trip in the 'haunted' Atlas mountains. Among them is a journalism student whose camera is stolen; luckily she's able to replace it with an instant camera she buys at a creepy antique shop. 

Why a serious photographer would be content to replace an expensive professional camera with a cheap instant version is never explained. 

Alas, there's something funky about said camera, and one by one the people it photographs meet gruesome deaths. 

Is it a good film? No. Is it awful? No. It's pretty much stuck in 'neutral'. 

I grade it a C-

Rango is a cowboy-lizard cartoon featuring the voice of Johnny Depp. It was predictable but entertaining. The best part? The evil snake. *That* was some wicked animation. 

Grade: B

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia is a documentary that follows a West Virginia family of misfits and criminals for a year. I've heard a lot of great things about it, but I wasn't impressed. Heck, I was a little bored. Heavy drinking recreational drug users with a flair for occasional violence and a criminal record? Big deal.  I've known plenty of 'em myself. 


Grade: C

I was never a fan of Arnie's Conan, so I was expecting less than nothing from the new Conan The Barbarian. 


Well, shiver me timbers, I was wrong. Color me impressed. Oh, it's a popcorn flick of no value to society. But it's a fun waste of 'time better spent helping your fellow man'. 


One thing I still don't understand about this genre. You say there's a magic mask that brings evil into the world? Yikes. Oh, but the bad guy was killed eons ago and the mask was shattered. Whew. Wait, you saved the pieces of the mask? Why? You scattered them around the world? Ooookkkkaaay. I guess that sort of makes sense. Sorta. Kinda. Hold on, there's a prophesy saying someday the pieces will be reunited and evil will reign supreme? Ah, well in that case DESTROY THE BLEEPING PIECES. 


Still, a fun romp. 


Grade: B+

Quote

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize", (1 Corinthians 9:24).

Monkey Bars

Truth

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize", (1 Corinthians 9:24).

An Opinion

Not to get overly political here (that's what paid columns are for) but: the US Attorney General is hit with contempt of Congress proceedings because he refuses to come clean about White House connections to a scandal involving gun-running, Mexican cartels, and the death of a U.S. Border Agent - and it doesn't even crack the top headline of most sites/papers. A) could there be any clearer proof of a media bias towards Obama, even at the cost of their own integrity? B) Obama should have canned Holder months ago and distanced himself from this mess. A clumsy, pointless mistake on the President's part.

Redshirts and Half Moon Investigations

John Scalzi's Redshirts is a science fiction novel that starts out with a fun take on the old Star Trek cliche that 'extras' on the show - often garbed in security red - were doomed to die. What if these low ranking folks began to take notes, calculate the odds, and decide things needed to change?

Unfortunately, at that point Scalzi decides to go all 'meta' and have the cast become part of a fractured universe where they are mere characters in a TV show. With no alternative, they decide to venture to 'our' world to speak with the shows creators.

I'm sure it's that last bit that some people will argue 'makes' the book, but it was the opposite for me, and from that point on I was less than enamoured with the novel.

As for the three codas, the third was moving, the second moderately so, the first a ridiculous waste of time, and the whole a needless exercise.

I grade this is a B-


Book #45 of 2012

I picked up Eoin Colfer's Half Moon Investigations because YaYa left it in the van one day and I thought it looked interesting. I was right.

It's rather like Encyclopedia Brown meets The Three Investigators meets The Bloodhound Gang, and although I'm sick of pint sized protagonist (what, no chunky or tall kid can play a hero?)  I thought it was a hoot. As the highest praise of all, may I just say that I would have tore this s**t up as a kid.

Grade: A+

Book #46 on the year

Quote

Implicit understanding is an explicit failure.

Watching the Planes

Watching airplanes at Mitchell Field

At work today more than 10% of the staff was cut for "seasonal reductions". This was not a pleasant day to work.

LuLu and Ginger's Room Re-Do pt 2

Early on Father's Day Lisa disappeared upstairs, and when I went to track her down I found her applying decals to the newly painted walls in LuLu and Ginger's room. That was bad timing on my part. They weren't sticking on the textured walls, so Lisa sent me back downstairs to find a paint brush, and to mix a water and glue solution to essentially decoupage the decals to the wall.

Guess who got stuck decoupaging? Grrr. :)

The results were pretty darn good. The decals were high quality sets produced by IKEA that my lady had bought for a $1/sealed pack at a local second hand store, but Lisa theorized that their age (six years since manufacture) had diminished the adhesion.

Oh, we also got around to replacing the closet light and buying the bolts to secure the bed rail on the bunk bed, but the bolts were the wrong size so I'm afraid I can't take much credit for that purchase.

What do you think of the work?

Funhouse Stairs No More

Today we had our back porch redone.

Oh, it needed it. Five years ago we were almost denied homeowners insurance when we bought the house because the porch was in such disrepair; a last minute band-aid repair was needed before the insurer would complete the process and clear the way for the purchase. 

By the time we were done renovating the interior, there was no money left to do the porch. Which was fine, as the repair held up. Besides, it was only a matter of time before we replaced it. And . . . then I lost Job Prior, and for a few years it continued to rot away as it was the least of our worries. 

Heck, we almost canceled LuLu's 8th birthday party because one of the stairs collapsed an hour before it began. This past winter I had to brace the stairs with scrap wood to keep them upright until spring, and . . .  then in spring our intended contractor did a vanishing act and somehow, someway, it wound up being the middle of June. 

But as of this morning the "funhouse stairs" are no more. I don't have the new porch pics to show you quite yet, as the work continues, but I'll whet your appetite with the horrific 'before' pictures. 

The 'landing' was warping and rotting.



the railings were held in with jerry-rigged solutions of spare screws and nails



The steps, as I alluded to before, were akin to walking a teeter-totter










In just as bad a shape was the bilco door (the exterior access to the basement). It had literally rotted clean through and been patched up with scrap during the quote process



I tried opening the door for a better look but the entire handle and board came off in my hand



Once it was removed today by the contractor the damage was even more apparent









Lovely ain't it?

Well, it's now in porch heaven, and by this time tomorrow I should have some pictures of the finished new porch for you.

The Year of the Comeback continues . . . 

Continuing the Obama administration's epic commitment to worrying about the inconsequential while the world collapses around us, the U.S. Patent Office ruled that the Washington Redskins nickname is "disparaging of Native Americans" and thus, its federal trademarks must be canceled.The team will probably keep the rights on appeal, so it's doubly pointless, but jiminey cricket. I'm no fan of the name, but the decision by the Patent Office is plainly a political jab and a woeful use of our federal resources.