RIP Dear Schwinn - You served me well

Last night, strangely sans kids for the first night in just under two years, Lisa and went out to dinner and drinks. We got home late, and I thought about putting my beloved  Schwinn Moon Dog Cruiser bike in the shed, but exhaustion and the idea of some ahem, alone time, ahem, got the better of me. 


The bike was stolen overnight. 


I do not live in a bad neighborhood; quite the contrary. It isn't 90210, but it isn't Times Square circa 1978 either. My thoughts immediately jumped to the scrap metal 'collectors' who prowl the alleys. My thought process and emotions spilled out on Facebook: 


My bike was stolen from my yard overnight, in what appears to be the work of the scrappers who drive through the alley, grab what they can from nearby yards, and take off. This is the first time in 5 years that I've been a victim, but neighbors have had run-ins with them before. Next time I see them, [redatcted]


Just off the phone with[my friend The] Socialist, who scraps part-time. He said he'll keep an eye out for the bike and the suspected crew in question. Nothings gonna come of it, but wth, the one chance in a thousand . . .

 I am beyond angry and at Lisa's urging I have temporarily forced myself to stay in the house. Earlier, seeing a man on a bike, I slammed on my brakes - at a green light - with the intention of kicking his ass and getting my property, but of course it was just some dude wondering what idiot stops at a green light.

Just looking at all the posts on Slapinions labeled 'bike'. So many good times with that bike. Road trips with the kids one-on-one, and they all look so young in the pictures . . .


Talked to my neighbor across the alley. I asked him if he thought it was someone after my bike or the scrappers, and he said there's no question it was the latter. He said he now keeps a padlock on his gate at night to keep them out (they once stole the aluminum awning from above his back door!). Unfortunately, that didn't prevent them from stealing a strut from his garage door when he left it open to go inside for a leak.

So, my beloved black  Schwinn Moon Dog Cruiser I hope you are sold for scap, only so that you are recycled and come back into the care of a rider who deserves you. But, if said thief chooses to ride you - kindly lock your brakes and send him spiraling headfirst into traffic.