Published writer, compulsive reader, Old School Whovian, Match Game enthusiast, NKOTB fan, data hoarder, and - surprisingly, given that list - married with four kids. Welcome to my take on life, fatherhood, entertainment, and whatever strikes my fancy. Enjoy!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
A Thousand Words
A few days ago Lisa and I found time to rent "A Thousand Words" an Eddie Murphy comedy where he plays a literary agent who is cursed with a magic tree that sheds a leaf with every word he speaks; once the leaves are gone so is he. It's got a lot in common with 'Liar Liar' but with a more sentimental edge to it. The first twenty minutes were devoted to a weak script and overacting, but then it settled down into a decent if forgettable comedy that I enjoyed. Grade: C
The Empty Glass by JJ Baker
I finished reading 'The Empty Glass' by JI Baker, a novel about an LA County deputy coroner caught up in the death of Marilyn Monroe. It's very dark and reminiscent of James Cain, and you know from the moment you open the cover that no character is going to finish this book with a smile on their face and a song in their heart. Stylistically it is exceptionally well done. Where it falters is in the motivation. There is no reason, professional or personal, for the protagonist to champion this cause to the bitter end, and that's where Baker lost me a bit. I'd still grade this a strong B+ (book 57 of the year)
A-Rod Injury
BREAKING news from MLB: A-Rod diagnosed with non-displaced fracture in left hand, going on 15-day DL after being hit by pitch from Felix Hernandez. Damn!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Ixnay on the Lockers Today
Lisa and I had planned on a road trip to Janesville today. We were going to take two round trips to purchase and pick up old school lockers for our entryway. At the last minute, in fine Craigslist fashion, the woman came up with a b.s. excuse and backed out. Sucks.
Penn State
A comment online says that its 'pitiful' that Penn State alumni are upset about the NCAA penalties imposed upon the school, saying they should "put the welfare of the children first". These penalties do NOTHING to protect the victims or ensure their well being, unless the funds will be used to fund a time machine to go stop Sandusky in 1998. It's just grandstanding for the cameras, and its hurting the innocent players and students, NOT the monster in jail or the authorities who let him skate.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Wildly Divergent Thoughts:
A) A summary of Slumdog Millionaires says it DOES end with the dance number I remember from the trailers; apparently it was edited for broadcast TV. B) Lisa says I was wrong about the apple cake and that it turned out perfectly. C) People need to STFU about the parents of that six year old killed in the Batman massacre. Whether the kid was too young to be out that late or not, the parents are no more to blame for the death than if he'd been the victim of a random home invader. The idiot with the gun is at fault, and NO ONE ELSE. Putting blame on the parents is just a backasswards way of blaming the victim.
The 2012 Dance Recital
My kids take dance classes every year and participate in a massive recital each May. This year the owner of the studio asked me to write a brief series of skits for the show, to string together the dances into a coherent narrative. My salary? At my insistence YaYa was given one of the two main parts, and she did great!
For those of you close friends and family who failed to properly support my children by attending the performances - shame on you. But here's a small taste of what you missed.
ps - sorry about the picture quality but I forgot my camera and made do with my phone
SCENE:
For those of you close friends and family who failed to properly support my children by attending the performances - shame on you. But here's a small taste of what you missed.
ps - sorry about the picture quality but I forgot my camera and made do with my phone
Good evening/afternoon, and welcome to *** Dance Studios production of 'Up in Grannies Attic'. Our students have worked hard all year to bring you the very best show possible, and they're excited to see all their family and friends in the audience. Please, remember to shut off your cell phones, and for the safety of our dancers no photography will be allowed. And now, enjoy the show!
Girl 1: Grammie Miss Barbara, we're bored!
Girl2: Yeah, there's nothing to do while it's raining outside. Can we pleassse use your phone to text our friends?
GMB: I've told you girls before, Grammie Miss Barbara doesn't do text messages. If you're in such a hurry to write your friends, mail them a letter. [sizzle]. Besides, there's plenty to do in this old attic.
Girl2: Like what? There's nothing up here but cobwebs.
Girl 1: Yeah, and these old trunks.
GMB: But that's exactly what I mean! These trunks aren't just boxes, they hold a lifetime of fun and memories. Go ahead and open one. You'll see.
[the kids do so. Girl 1 lifts out a wedding dress.]
Girl 1: Wow!
Girl 2 [now wearing an eye patch and waving a rubber sword] Look at me, I'm a pirate! Arrrrr!
[both girls laugh].
GMB: I bet if you girls take your time, you'll find plenty to keep you busy up here until dinner.
Girls: OK.
GMB [begins to walk offstage, then stops and turns back, as the girls begin playing with some dolls they've found]. Oh girls?
Girls2: Yes?
GMB: While you're up here, it wouldn't hurt to clean up some of these cobwebs either.
[music begins]
[the girls are digging through a trunk]
Girl1: Hey, will you look at this! [holds up a string of LP's]
Girl2 [shaking her head] : Who would ruin a perfectly good CD by punching a hole in the middle?
Girl1: [puts the 45's back] Did you find anything interesting?
Girl2: Sure. [Shows off a poodle skirt she found]. How do I look?
Girl1: Neat. But check this out. [takes a hippie outfit out of the trunk and holds it up to her chest, makes peace sign]. Peace, man!
[both girls laugh].
Girl2: Do you think Grammie Miss Barbara actually wore this stuff?
Girl 1: I don't know. But if she did, I'm glad she stopped. This stuff is embarrassing. It's not half as cool as our skinny jeans and hair feathers.
[music starts]
(Ginger danced to Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Smiley did a Mambo, LuLu did See Ya Later Alligator and YaYa danced to Cotton Eyed Joe and Tutti Fruitti)
SCENE:
Girl 2: What are you looking at?
Girl1[holding a photo album]: It's an old photo album of Grammie Miss Barbara's. It has photos going back generations.
Girl2: Family is important to Grammie Miss Barbara.
Girl1: You bet it is. Did you know that every year her dance studio has a very special dance? It's called the Family Dance, and everyone you see on the stage has a relative that goes to the studio. There's Mom's and Daughters, sisters and brothers, even Grandma's and grandsons. It's a tradition that's important to Arabesque, and it happens every year.
Girl2: Wow. I wish I could see the Family Dance. I wonder what it would look like . . .
[music starts]
Girl2 [by an open trunk]: Oh! I found the Christmas decorations! Come see!
[Girl 2 holds up a string of lights, Girl 1 grabs something else from the trunk].
Girl 2: Do you think this Christmas Grammie Miss Barbara will let us put out a stocking here? Just in case Santa stops here too?
Girl1: I don't see why not.
Girl2: Good. [reveals what she took out of the trunk, a super large Christmas stocking as large as she is]
[music starts]
(We bought all the kids roses and personalized them with a note, but somehow YaYa's was packaged MINUS the rose! She took the oopsie with uncharacteristic grace).
SCENE:
[Girl 1 is sweeping the floor with a broom]
Girl 2: What do you think you're doing?
Girl 1: Grammie Miss Barbara asked us to clean up some of the cobwebs, remember?
Girl 2: Since when do you do chores without someone nagging you? [suspicious] Did she pay you when I wasn't looking?
Girl 1: No. I just think it's a shame that these trunks have been up here so long. There's too many great things in them to just let them gather dust.
Girl 2: [skeptical] Hmm. If you say so. Go ahead, keep sweeping. But Grammie Miss Barbara said we could play up here until dinner. As far as I'm concerned, it's the weekend, and anything goes.
[music starts]
(after the recital I treated the family to dinner and dessert at Kopp's, and YaYa and Lisa shared a touching hug)
SCENE:
BEFORE 'WILL YOU BE THERE' AND STRING OF MOVIE SONGS
Girl 1: It's almost dinner. We should start putting this stuff back.
[the girls are putting items away]
Girl 2: Grammie Miss Barbara was right, her attic is a great place. There's so many memories, and so many things to explore.
Girl1: I know. I'd almost wish it would rain every time we visit, just so we could play up here.
Girl 2: Every time??
Girl 1: Ok. Every other time. Come on, let's ask Grammie Miss Barbara if we can watch a movie after dinner. [they close the trunk and begin to walk off stage]
Girl 2: Sure. Anything in particular?
Girl 1: Oh, I don't know. Have you ever seen Free Willy?
Quote
"A pessimist gets nothing but pleasant surprises, an optimist nothing but unpleasant.”
― Rex Stout, Fer-de-Lance
Psych
In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity
If it's all right, then you're all wrong
Why bounce around to the same damn song
You'd rather run when you can't crawl
I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth
I know, you know, they just don't have any proof
Embrace the deception, Lean how to bend
You're worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end
I know, you know
I know, you know
I know, you know
I know, you know
Thursday, July 19, 2012
FB - the 2nd week of March *2011*
March 9th:
Yo, if news reports on the chaos in Madison interrupt or pre-empt American Idol, I'm gonna be pissed.
Breaking news: from what I understand the collective bargaining measure has been removed from the budget bill and pushed forward on its own; since it ISN'T a fiscal bill the GOP can vote and pass it w/out the Senators that fled to IL. I guess it'll happen tonight.
Last night I finished "Instant Replay", Jerry Kramer's classic diary of the 1967 NFL season. It's a fun read, with a clear and intelligent voice. (not to spoil the ending, but the Packers win the SuperBowl)
Now this Madison mess has interrupted The Wendy Williams Show. Have they no decency?
March 10th:
Five years ago I couldn't have imagined a day when I'd respect France as much as I do as of late. Sarkozy is a courageous, straight-ahead leader, and France is lucky to have him.
594K people living in Milwaukee as of 2010, the lowest total since WWII - all while the state's population as a whole grew.
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact - William James
(Gov. Scott) Walker just finished his press conference. He was well spoken, calm, reliant on acts not emotion, and I'm pretty confident he has balls the size of watermelons. A striking contrast (no pun intended) to the cliche ridden tantrums outside the Capitol.
March 11th
I have no problem with having to watch commericals on a news site. I just think the site should be more conscious of the context in which they're placed. I'm sure Company X doesn't want their happy-happy jingle to be followed by a story of abuse and torture, as was just the case on CNN.com. It's poor taste, and the fault is CNN's, not the advertiser.
I've got this all backasswards - the busier I am in the day, the more I post. Instead of stopping for a cigarette break, I spend a few minutes clogging up your news feed. Yay for you. Just finished Morning Glory, and was shocked it was so good. I LOL'd 11 times - I counted - and Harrison Ford was superbly funny as the crochety old anchor. Loved it.
RIP Iowa Blackie. RIP.
Kate Winslet. #1 on my List of Five for 13 consecutive years.
"DO NOT bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it."
--Thomas Jefferson
--Thomas Jefferson
[Japan was hit with a massive earthquake and tsunami, resulting in horrendous loss of life]
[several links to earthquake relief agencies and news articles on the tsunami followed]
March 12th
In the wee hours of the AM we watched "Life as we Know It", a rom-com with Katherine Heigl & Josh Duhamel. It was pleasant enough, and Heigl is always good, but all in all it's a collection of cliches stapled to a formulaic script. Some good moments though. [I was a little shocked to see Josh Lucas; he seems to have aged quite a bit since Wonderland]
March 13th
Just got home. Worked til 530, then went immediately to dinner/auction/dance at my kids school. Lots of fun, lots of food, lots and lots of drinking. Good time. And best of all, it's the first time since July 11th 2010 that we've gone out w/out the kids (other than an hour here or there w/ a deadline arouind our necks). Thanks Anne for the invite!
@ wrk I had to deal with a Truther & his loudly stated beliefs - see T-shirt reading "Investigate 9/11!". Like all Americans he is entitled to his opinion, based on the absurdly tiny amount of information he bothered to learn before he formed it. But I did enjoy the fact that someone so obesessed w/ conspiracy was apparently 'taken' - a Visa gift card he accepted as pay was empty.
March 14th
While I was at work Lisa took the girls on a Scout trip to the Symphony, where Olivia won a copy of Lemony Snicket's "The Composer is Dead". Grace said she enjoyed the music, while Olivia said it was boring (but she was tired when I asked her). Then, a miserable night of subpar Sun TV, w/ no movie on hand. It was down to The Nanny (good) & '3 Ninjas' (suicide inducing).
Any guy dumb enough to label Jean Harlow and Carole Lombard as 'average' while worshiping Julia 'Secretariat' Roberts should have his man parts removed forthwith.
"in this country, it is wise to kill an admiral from time to time to encourage the others" - Voltaire, satirizing the execution of British Admiral John Byng by his own country (this day in 1757). RIP.
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Read by William Rabkin
Watching a Japanese pro baseball game on Channel 8 . . .
Meanwhile I finished reading another Psych tie-in novel, " A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Read" by William Rabkin. When I stop to think about it the plot, or at least its resolution, was nonsensical and patched together by happenstance and wild leaps of faulty logic. But it was great fun to read, and I literally LOL'd at several scenes. I grade this one an A
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Slumdog Millionaire
You may have noticed the movie/TV drought of recent weeks. We broke that streak with "Slumdog Millionaire". I know this sounds stupid, but I thought it was going to be a Bollywood musical. [I swear to the heavens there was a railroad yard dance number in the trailer, no???] Instead it was dark, sometimes violent drama that still managed to resonate with hope and the power of love. Grade: A-
The Bro Code by Barney Stinson
Today on break I finished reading "The Bro Code" by Barney Stinson ( of How I Met Your Mother). It was funny, but book length funny? No. Not even skinny book length funny. But it had its moments. Grade: C+
Monday, July 16, 2012
Windows Pinball
My first computer was an all-in-one Compaq given to us by my brother-in-law in 1996 or '97, and this ubiquitous pinball game is fondly cemented in my memory - although it couldn't hold a handle to the real thing.
Also mastered: Windows Solitaire and Minesweeper, In the latter I would craft my own 100 mine puzzles and figure them out, something I was really proud of at the time lol
Bye Baby Bye by Max Allan Collins
On Saturday I finished reading "Bye Baby Bye", a Nate Heller mystery by Max Allan Collins. In this one Nate, PI to the famous and infamous, is drawn into the last few troubled months of Marilyn Monroe's life. As with all/most of Collins' work it's a good, enjoyable read, and I certainly learned a few facts about MM along the way. I doubt I'll remember this book in twenty years, but I'm still glad I read it. Grade: B
Annoyed
Very annoyed. Had a doctor's appt scheduled this AM, called ahead to see if he was running on time and was told he was out of the office for the day. He'd "tried" to inform me but that I was "unreachable" by phone. Uh, noooooo. I have my cell on file, why not call that when I didn't answer the land line? The only plus is that I'm spared a cross-town trip.
LOL
(referencing my post about how putting away the kids footstool marked a milestone in our house):
You're in the years between the bathroom stepstool
and the walk-in bathtub! - Fred Bryan
In Cold Blood
Sunday, July 15, 2012
A Minor Milestone in the Slapinions Home
On June 26th I posted the following tidbit on Facebook:
A milestone reached today with the kids, the 2nd event in less than a week to reduce me to a depressive mess. It is not fair. When the youngest gets too old for something, it is time to make a new kid . . . but no new models for 5 years :(
Moments before Lisa had announced the removal of our footstool from the bathroom. I balked - clearly Ginger wasn't old enough to reach the faucet without it. Lisa promptly rounded up the lil' one and proved me wrong.
:(
It's bad enough that my youngest is growing up waaaay too fast, but her milestone meant the end of an era. The footstool was one I remember fondly from our old house on Windlake Ave (circa mid to late '70's) and it has served all four of my children well. Until that day.
Here's a picture of the stool. You'll have to excuse the stuck on Pokemon cards Smiley left on our table that day. I assure you, they aren't a normal part of our decor.
Yes, I know it looks like dung in its current state. But when new, oh so many decades ago, it was lime green and featured a white line drawing of a lamb leaping through a field of flowers. Sadly the lamb lost his top half many moons ago, long before my kids inherited it.
What I always felt was neat about it was that in addition to being a footstool it instantly converted to a toddler sized chair, one that's supported the behinds of two generations of Slapinons.
So, my little one isn't so little anymore, and a battered but beloved icon of our time as parents is going into storage. Someday, Lisa claims, we'll take it out , restore Lamby to his proper dimensions, paint the whole thing, and let our Grandkids use it.
I hope that comes to pass :)
A milestone reached today with the kids, the 2nd event in less than a week to reduce me to a depressive mess. It is not fair. When the youngest gets too old for something, it is time to make a new kid . . . but no new models for 5 years :(
What was this milestone? This:
Moments before Lisa had announced the removal of our footstool from the bathroom. I balked - clearly Ginger wasn't old enough to reach the faucet without it. Lisa promptly rounded up the lil' one and proved me wrong.
:(
It's bad enough that my youngest is growing up waaaay too fast, but her milestone meant the end of an era. The footstool was one I remember fondly from our old house on Windlake Ave (circa mid to late '70's) and it has served all four of my children well. Until that day.
Here's a picture of the stool. You'll have to excuse the stuck on Pokemon cards Smiley left on our table that day. I assure you, they aren't a normal part of our decor.
Yes, I know it looks like dung in its current state. But when new, oh so many decades ago, it was lime green and featured a white line drawing of a lamb leaping through a field of flowers. Sadly the lamb lost his top half many moons ago, long before my kids inherited it.
What I always felt was neat about it was that in addition to being a footstool it instantly converted to a toddler sized chair, one that's supported the behinds of two generations of Slapinons.
So, my little one isn't so little anymore, and a battered but beloved icon of our time as parents is going into storage. Someday, Lisa claims, we'll take it out , restore Lamby to his proper dimensions, paint the whole thing, and let our Grandkids use it.
I hope that comes to pass :)
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