Slapinions

Saturday, May 21, 2016

YaYa and I hit the gym earlier this evening. I forgot my card and they waved me in on sight. Which means either I've gone often enough to be recognized or they're just very lax employees.

A Dream

I took a nap and dreamt that I woke up in the St Francis ER, with no idea how I got there. The nurse said I'd driven there at noon and then passed out. She said my hip was horribly infected, hence all the pain, and that they'd reopened the surgical scar to drain it. When I came home, we were living on Arthur Ave and drove past Lisa on a scooter. She ignored me. When I walked in one of the kids said GusGus ran away and Lisa was out looking for him. What a swell dream. Not.

The MHSA Health Fair

This morning was the health fair at MHSA. YaYa, as you know, helped run the testicular cancer booth. She gave away purple ribbons for awareness, and she and Junie (!) constructed testicles from balloons, corn starch, and a hard pea. Fairgoers then tried to identify the pea by touch as if they were diagnosing a cancerous lump. A HUGE turnout, and we won a tomato and a kohlrabi plant at a anti-GMO booth. Good job Gracie!

My Tombstone

Three options for my tombstone:

1. My f'ing hip

2. Shut up Grace

3. Patriarch of Team Slap

Any of the three will do.

New Facebook Emoji's

I'm OK with the response emojis that Facebook introduced, but I'm not OK with the "sad" emoji. Instead of just looking glum, it's crying. I'm not going to use that; I'm bummed you posted that your gerbil died, but I'm not a f'ing p***y.

One of Lisa's Favorite Pictures

Friday, May 20, 2016

March of 2005

YaYa, photographed in her March 2005 school bulletin at St Catherine's #adorable

For Realz

I'm not saying y'all's FB pages are dull or one-note, but I'm jealous you get to look forward to my posts and I don't. #ModestyIsDishonesty

I've got a beef with Marquette

Just blew too much of my paycheck picking up the books for my classes (this was at 5pm). Sadly, the clerk was moderately rude to Junie because she dared (gasp!) play with a pen on the counter. Nevermind that in addition to the cost of the books I was buying that little girl a Marquette t-shirt, so f the pen.. I felt like buying it just so LK could break it in half and leave it on the counter.

The Gay Spot

A 1952 postcard of The Gay Spot, a restaurant on 14th and Arthur where both my Grandparent's worked. It's also, IIRC, the scene of the only fistfight my Little Grandpa had during their marriage. Someone insulted his father, and Grandpa threw a punch in his defense.

20 years ago today

Twenty years ago today we lost Jon Pertwee, the 3rd (and best) Doctor. #DrWho

Enough

ISIS just killed 25 prisoners in Mosul (Iraq) by lowering them each into a vat of acid. The barbarity of these people continues to astound. History will judge us for how long we tolerated their presence on this earth. They need to be wiped out, and *yesterday*.

Truth from Calvin and Hobbes

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Me and my Lu

Say What?

Lisa: "Dan, I know you very well and for a long time, and no matter who you vote for it won't necessarily change how I feel about you."

*Necessarily*???

Food for Thought

Tom Robinson says hello

JK for the win

JK takes on the bullies on the Left

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The Revenant

I loved this movie. Beautifully filmed, for one thing, with stellar performances from both Thomas Hardy and Leo. Someone on FB once said DiCaprio's performance was nothing more than two hours of grunting. Having now seen the film, I might have to rank that as one of the silliest comments in social media history.

Politics

I'm sick of politics on FB. I'm right, you're horribly wrong. Can we at least agree on that?

For Real

I don't mind the security check, but the logic of this meme is making me doubt myself.

Memorial Day is NOT Veteran's Day

#THIS. Every year someone posts about a living serviceman on a day meant to honor those who gave all, and it takes every fiber of my being not to tell them to f off. Don't be that person this year. #RespectTheHoliday

Leon's Controversy

Iconic Leon's Custard is facing backlash from the South Side's Hispanic community after the owner mandated that his employees speak to cuswtomers only in English.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

A Dream

I took a nap and dreamt that I was framed for a mass shooting by men that my Mom owed money. I went on the run with Lauren, who was ignorant of the events, and hid in a dark and watery cellar. Lisa, naturally, went on the news and said she couldn't believe I would do such a thing to my family, thereby implying my guilt. I woke up p**sed as hell at her.