The Quest for the Missing Wood Carving

You wanna know how my family spent the half hour before dinner last night?

Trying desperately to finagle a wood carving we'd bought in Nassau out from the bottom of a 10"x 6", 10 foot deep gap in our floor.

The hole is the remnant of a discarded cold-air return vent in our dining room. With the remodel it was re-routed, and only the before mentioned 10" x 6" opening remains. It's covered by a reasonably heavy metal grate, but if you get past that it's a straight but narrow shot straight down into a gap created between the foundation and the newly-installed shower in the basement.

My son - whose Dennis the Menace hijanks have now slipped past cute into anger-inducing - decided over the course of several weeks to dump the statue, numerous utensils, an earring from YaYa's halloween costume, pencils, markers, and God knows what else into this hole.

I spent days searching for that carving and even looked up a reasoable look-a-like online for $49. I was OBSESSED with finding it and until Parker dumped something down the hole in front of me I never thought of the grate - after all, I didn't think he was strong enough to lift it.

So I spot the statue and we start a Baby Jessica rescue party, sans life-threatening situation.

Lisa twisted wire hangars together into a 12 foot pole with a hook on the end (oh, did she hate those dry-cleaning hangars before that - Faye Dunaway style - but didn't they just come in handy?) and started the rescue.

YaYa and I both dismissed the attempt as doomed to fail, and I had visions of having to hack into the shower wall. . .

But she got the dang thing up.

She actually retrieved it. Kudos to her.

And when I showed Parker the carving, hoping for a sign of remorse?

Just a glint in his eyes and a maniacal smile.

Slapinions 3rd Anniversary!

November 9th marked the 3rd anniversary of this journal. I'd like to thank everyone who's stopped by and/or commented.

I greatly enjoy doing this and I only wish I had more time to devote to it.

Here's to another year of Slapinions!

Lauren Gets her Ears Pierced!

Tomorrow is our Xmas picture, so at the last minute we found a babysitter (Our friend Chris) and took Lauren to WalMart to have her ears pierced. Both of her sisters had it done promptly at two months, so we were a bit late with the newest addition.

Unfortunately, our 3 south side stores were unable to do it (one wanted immunization records!) so we wound up all the way at the Capitol Drive location, clear across Milwaukee.

We picked out a pair of heat-shaped diamond (like) earrings and away we went. Here are the last photos of a non-pierced Lauren:

And then the event began:

She looks happy, no?

But all that lasted about as long as it took to hit the shutter. It helped that they did both the ears simultaneously.

Her crying ended the minute a bottle found its way into her mouth. The ladies gave her a 'Certificate of Bravery' (which was darn cute!) and we thanked them and returned home.

Here's a side shot of the new bling-bling:

Some shots with the Folks

How cute are these!

Just one shot of Beauty

Pics of My Lovely Baby

These were all taken since last Saturday in an attempt to document her smile (which showed up for the first time Sept 23rd)

Please bear in mind that the mess around my darlin's collar is from a recently cleaned up spitup - we do keep our kids relatively clean. And the red eye . . man, I need to get my software running at full speed.

Meanwhile, just focus on the face people, focus on the face!

 

Parker Update

I hope to do a full post later (yeah, right!) but a quick update on my in-house Maker of Trouble and Mayhem:

We took him to the ear doctor and his left eardrum did not vibrate, a sign of potential fluid behind the ear. He was also placed in a soundproof room (on Lisa's lap) where he responded to different audio frequencies coming from speakers around the room. On low pitches to his right he did not flinch or respond at all. He scored a 20, which is the minimum for 'effective' hearing, but it was an average based on some high scores mixed in with some very low ones.

The results are inconclusive, in part because he was just coming off an ear infection. He'll be retested again after three weeks.

* * * *

YaYa and Lu got their report cards today, and not a black mark or below average assesment on them! (admission: Lu actually had one, related to her speech development. But since her lisp is not her fault and we intend to ask about speech therapy, I do not consider it a mark against her on the report).

Their school photos came in too - I'll try to scan and post them at a later date.

One Year!

It's now been 365 days since I quit smoking.

 I last inhaled or even held a lit cigarette a year ago today, on the cusp of departing for our Disney vacation. I never thought I'd succeed; honestly I'd have bet money on my lighting up the minute I returned home to Milwaukee.

It didn't happen, and I'm duly proud.

Sure, it killed my diet and I'm now a minimum of 60 pounds heavier than I was then, but what the hey . . . it was still worth it. At least now when I hack I know it's a cold and not tar waiting to be expelled.

How's that for a visual?  :)

It ain't always rosy

Lest you fear I'm shortchanging you on the reality of life with kids, here's a recent email exchange between me and my priest following Mass on Sunday.

    
    Were your two little dears having problems yesterday? I saw that
you had to take them outside.
    Fr. Greg

Fr. -

I'm not sure I'd classify them as 'dears' yesterday. The oldest began a
quiet chant of 'go home', the 4 year old claimed she had to go the
bathroom multiple times, and they both argued over who was going to hand
in the weekly check - all during Mass.

Most of the time they are very good and in fact the 4 year old will
often sing along; sometimes they're not so good. But they both object to
the 'indignity' of sitting in the crying room so I guess I'll have to
take the good with the bad.

Talk to you later,

Dan

Dan - When I saw you come in, I thought "I wonder if Dan knows that there is
open space right in front, on the west side"; but then there's that
parental worry of getting to the front pews so the little ones can see,
only to have to get up and left because "I have to go potty.....NOW!".
My heart goes out to parents! I wish I could find a solution for the
kids being in front where they could see and a bathroom nearby. Also,
how do I get people who should not be in the "crying room" out of
there...............
 

And a letter from Lisa this past Tuesday:

 saw you called at 4:30 or so...I was still gone...I'm back now...what an ordeal

wanted to take the kids out because I just didn't want to cook . . anyway, they fought about where to go, then I decided on Boston Market, because it's where I wanted to go...figure its at the beginning of a pay period and I would feel the crunch later...

anyway, got there and it was promissing, the two girls ordered their food respectfully, and smartly, one had green beans, chicken, and mac n cheese, the other chicken, broccoli and mashed potatoes....parker i got meatloaf, mac and cheese and broccoli...

 

things were going ok....then LuLu noticed gravy on her potatoes, and did her usual LuLu FREAK, then parker started getting up to roam everywhere....enter screaming infant and gawking onlookers, then ask YaYa to get napkins, find her opening up drawers everywhere....

 

time to pack up, done or not....oh well, i got most of my meal down...take theirs to go....get everything packed up in the bag, all the while holding a lauren bottle (forgot a prop blankie)....then parker offers to carry the bag, aw what a good boy....then he has a fit, dont have any clue why (although I think it was something YaYa did but she denies it), he shakes the bag, and THROWS IT across the restaurant, food spills out everywhere in the bag.....YaYa and LuLu still opening up the drawers under the soda area....

 

ugh...I made it home...what a pain!

Parker is at the 'seek and destroy' age . . LuLu is at the 'nothing makes me happy, woe is me!' era, and YaYa is subject to periodic meltdowns along with a day in/ day out tendency to assume she has the power and rights of a grown up.

And Lauren's just a pill, 'least at night :)

Case in point: last week we had Lisa's Dad and step-mom over for dinner to celebrate both Lisa's and YaYa's birthday's . . midway through the night, when told a single wrapped gift wasn't hers, YaYa MELTED DOWN. .

she locked herself in her room, went completely limp as dead weight when taken downstairs, screamed and squeeled . . she hasn't had a fit like that in at least a year, so NATURALLY she choices to do it in front of two people who see her only 4 or 5 times a year.

No way they don't think less of her and of our parenting, their protests to the contrary notwithstanding.

Anyhow, it's no picnic, but I wouldn't trade 'em in.

'Course, I don't have to spend all day with them either :)