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Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Return of Old Man Winter on Good Friday

God must truly follow the liturgical calendar, although he doesn't seem to like it too much. Ash Wednesday featured a nasty blizzard, and so did Good Friday.

Spring officially started the other day, but it felt like it'd been around for a week.

Temperatures in the 40 (F)'s had melted all the snow, every last bit of it. I went around without a jacket, the kids played outside (thereby ruining their clothes by covering them in mud) and all was well.

Then I had to go and think nostalgically on this ferocious winter, and hope for at least a few more flakes before it was all said and done.

Milwaukee, feel free to hang me from the nearest tree.

What my wish brought was 10.9 inches of snow in the city proper, bringing our total for the winter to 95.4 inches/7.95 FEET of the white stuff this season.

Hey, we got lucky - some parts of the area got more.

That puts us in second place all-time in Milwaukee's recorded history.

I'll say one thing for all this snow: I have now officially overcome my long-standing fear of driving in a snowstorm. Now, I could really care less. I don't like it, but I'm not afraid of it either.

However, I'd like to one day have a job where I could look outside, see a blizzard, sigh contently and say "You know, maybe I won't drive across town today. No doubt the office is going to close."

Instead, I went to work, which as I've said before gets awfully busy when the weather gets foul.

In the evening I set out to shovel and darn near slit my wrists. 10 inches, sminches - apparently my alley is the collection point for all drifting snow. I forced my gate open and was greeted by a wall of snow two feet high.

Sonofa***ch.

Naturally my snow blower still worked like crud, so I abandoned it and picked up a shovel. 20x20 parking slab - cleared. Back walkway, steps and porch - cleared. 1/2 of the alley behind our house - cleared.

And then I just gave up.

So as it stands my alley is impassable, Lisa's van, the only means of transporting the entire family at once, is therefore inoperable, and my back is killing me.

But I still can't say I mind all that much. It's been a memorable winter, that's for sure.

How I spent my Birthday: A grade-school essay ? answered by a 34 year old

I had a pretty darn good 34th birthday. Nothing spectacular, like the surprise party Lisa threw for my 30th or the sorrowful alcohol induced haze I expect to announce my 40th, just a consistently pleasant day.

The kids presented me two homemade cards when I woke up, and then Lisa took the girls to school, sparing me that daily drama (God forbid they travel from the house to school without at least one soap-opera worthy meltdown). A few hours later I took Smiley to school, since I don't get to do that on a normal day. Then we dropped off the baby by some Grandparent (I forget which one) and started the day.

Of course, by then the day was halfway over.

We snuck into Benihana's downtown for a hibachi lunch. We'd never been there before, having been scared off by the fierce dinner prices, but lunch was a reasonable $8.75/each.

We'd never had the 'cook it at your table' experience either. We were seated at a large table, right next to a guy with a huge gold grill covering his teeth. That ended any thoughts that I was underdressed for the lunch, but he turned out to be a swell guy with a lot of knowledge of the menu.

While Lisa opted for a fork, I gave a go with the chopsticks. I was pretty successful, up until I flung a bunch of rice into the air and across the table. From that point on it was a fork for me too.

Great lunch, by the way - we'll be back.

As this was close to the Central library where I used to work, I asked Lisa if we could run in for a minute. Because it was my birthday, she consented, knowing full well that for me a 'minute' in either a bookstore or library means an hour, minimum.

I found what I was looking for, bought the kids some books from the used book store inside the library, was surprisingly recognized and greeted by an old supervisor of mine from 10 years back, and interrupted a homeless man masturbating at a urinal.

(For the love of God man, use a stall - comfort is important!)

From there we journeyed to . . . another library, where I picked up some more books.

I should mention that I told dang near everyone in Milwaukee it was my birthday. It was rather childish, agreed, but I found a myriad of ways to work it into the conversation with everyone from store clerks, people in line, a mortgage lender, a business contact, you name it.

[Quote of the day, not funny at all except in the context of having heard me pimp my birthday all day long:

Lisa, in a singsong Barney happy-voice after I apologized for doing something stupid. "Oh, it's all right. After all, it is your birthday today."]

Then, as agreed, I went shopping with Lisa for Easter outfits and basket supplies. This entailed a hellish 90 minute escapade thru both Kmart and Target. At Kmart I did however pick out and buy a gorgeous Christmas dress  for the baby to use this year and bought some used books from a display there. I did ask the cashier what the used bookstand was about - rather ghetto, even for Kmart - and I guess it was a March of Dimes promo.

Might think about mentioning that on the stand itself, before folks assume you're now a glorified rummage sale.

We then headed over to the mall to pick up my standard 16" decorated oatmeal birthday cookie, then to my Ma's to pick up the kids, and home. 

Lacking a set of birthday candles we used a large pillar candle as the centerpiece of my "Happy Birthday" song and then shooed the kids off to bed.

We'd stopped at a liquor store - did I forget to mention that? - with the intention of later getting tipsy watching a DVD I got for my birthday, and then wock-a-chicka-wow-wow.

Except Lisa misplaced my gift, a copy of Family Guy's Blue Harvest, and by the time I was finished destroying the office looking for it the night was almost over. We did fire up another Family Guy DVD she'd bought me (The Untold Story of Stewie Griffin) and managed, if not a wock-a-chika-wow-wow, then at least a wock-a-chicka before retiring for the night.

Gifts I received: the two Family Guy DVD's, dominoes from the kids, an issue of The Writer, a CD of the 'Into the Wild' soundtrack, and a gift card for shoes from my Mom.

[Oh, we did find the Blue Harvest DVD the next day. Not the best they've ever done; I think you have to be a hardcoreStar Wars fan to enjoy it to the utmost ]

And yes, my Mom did call me at midnight.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Lost: Meet Kevin Johnson (Season 4, Episode 8)

This was the last pre-writer's strike episode and serves as a mini-cliffhanger for the season.

It was a solid, straight-forward action episode without a lot of hidden meanings, unless I was too dense to pick up on them.

The show chronicled some of Michael's post-isle life, which in this case goes from the day he left the island after betraying his friends to his arrival on the freighter in late December, a period of perhaps 30 days.

(btw, just in case I've never mentioned it. The show is set in the South Pacific. It is 'now' approaching Christmas 2004. . . will the Tsunami play a role in the show?)

He is distraught with guilt over his murder of Ana-Lucia and Libby, and separated from Walt after the disclosure of his actions drove the boy away

.

Walt now lives with his Grandma, who mentions that Michael and Walt now live under assumed names without mentioning the crash.

Because of this stress he tries time and again to kill himself, failing every time.

Enter Tom, aka Mr. Friendly, aka, my favorite Other, who tells him that the Others have been monitoring the pair and that he will always fail to commit suicide because the island won't let him.

Since Tom seems to be telling the truth, it appears the island is sentient and has the power to stretch its reach across an ocean.

Later, Michael meets with Tom at the Hotel Earle (the name for the manifestation of hell in Barton Fink) where he convinces him to board the freighter under an assumed name - and kill everyone on board.

Two things here:

1. Tom is 'outed' as homosexual, something he hinted at when he rebuked Kate a season or two ago

2. Tom presents 'evidence' that Widmore staged the 815 crash site. Whether he's being honest or not, and I vote 'no', this fills in some holes in the story - like where the bodies came from. Note also that the quiz show answer, right before the 'special report' about 815, was 'Kurt Vonnegut' - a reference to Slaughterhouse Five perhaps?

So Michael, now known as Kevin Johnson, boards the ship. Despite initial misgivings after getting to know the crew he goes ahead with the plan to blow up the vessel. When the counter reaches zero on the explosives a simple flag pops up with a note saying 'not yet'.

He is later contacted by Ben via radio and agrees to do his bidding and become 'one of the good guys'.

Thus, we learn who destroyed the radio room and compiled the info on board; we also 'learn' that Ben uses the lists to determine who are the 'innocents'.

Sayid, learning of Michael's new allegiance, turns him in to the ships captain as a traitor. I suppose we're supposed to smirk at Sayid's stance, given that he's later to become Ben's pawn, but what stuck in my mind was the captain's reaction. Ten to one he's in on the deal.

On the island Locke makes a feeble attempt to appear like a decisive leader, and Ben convinces Alexandra, Karl, and Rousseau to make a run for the 'temple sanctuary'.

Apparently it was a trap, and Ben willingly fed his daughter to the beast. Karl is shot dead, Rousseau is also shot (although we see no blood, so we don't even know it was a bullet that knocked her out, or that she is, in fact, dead). Alex makes an attempt to surrender, although we don't learn if it was successful or not.

So much for Ben being such a good Dad. I guess Alex was no longer an 'innocent', huh?

A good episode, but nothing overly stellar.

 I look forward to the new episodes in late April. Thursday's are gonna be mighty boring without Lost to look forward to.


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Thursday, March 20, 2008

A piece on race in America, featuring Obama and the Houston Chronicle too!

Recently I suggested visiting a website called Stuff White People Like. I labeled it, properly I believe, as a comedy site, albeit one with a non-PC attitude that gently poked fun of Caucasians.

I guess I was riding the cutting edge of a fad, and a darn controversial one too, since this headline appears online at the Houston Chronicle today:

Race-related blog causing controversy
Caucasian site is flooded with hits


At the risk of sounding like a right-wing kook, what  horses**t.

It's not a blog, except in the sense that it's a website where the most current information is displayed on top of the page and older information below. It's not some guys running commentary on his life or his business or what interests him; it's scripted comedy.

'Race related'? 'Caucasian'"? By the dictionary definition, sure, but that headline is intentional race-baiting. The site is not derogatory towards any race (other than perhaps my own) and even then it's intended as comedy.

The older I get, the less the 1st amendment seems to matter in the face of political correctness.

It's a mild COMEDY site people!

To be fair, I blame the editor, the person who traditionally writes the headlines. The writer himself is pretty even-handed:

Dean Rader, a pop culture critic who authors weeklyrader.blogspot.com, says readers flock to Stuff White People Like because it's hip and hot and the place to be seen and heard online. "It's just as much about class and coolness and yuppiness and consumption (as race)."

the boundaries of good taste, readers seem to find liberation in an environment unfettered by political correctness.

Amen.

But he did sneak in one idiotic tie-in.

To date, there have been 14 million hits, reflecting the nation's current obsession with race and gender, too. For confirmation, check out the comments and speeches by presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton just this past week.

Yeah, no. After all, if you listened to the fine words of Obama's speechwriters as their candidate recited them, you'd have learned that we, as a nation, don't spend nearly enough time talking about race.

I am not a black man, I am not a minority. But for what the word of a white guy is worth, we spend far too much time obsessing about race BUT not nearly enough time holding everyone to the same standard.

In the wake of the Obama speech I caught newscast after newscast explaining that this was all overblown, that some (not all) Black churches are, and I quote from memory "theaters of exaggeration"  that reflect the conflict between Christian beliefs and the American experience.

Then we cut to a local story about a mixed couple (black woman, white husband).The woman repeats the national story's point about it being 'theater' and then a very nervous husband says he doesn't mind hearing such things about his own race in church because, after all, this country condoned slavery two centuries ago.

Again, crap.

(BTW - why doesn't anyone ever comment on the fact that it is almost always black reporters dispatched to do stories like this? Locally Mike Andersonhas paid his mortgage by devoting his time almost exclusively to stories set among the black community. Is it just me, or is that not instituional racism right out in the open? Why are black reporters confined to their own communites? Why don't more African-American reporters protest this fact??)

 God help me, I'm going to repeat an Ann Coulter example I heard, and I am no fan of Coulter's over the top 'theater of exaggeration' myself.

 If a white pastor was to repeat the words of Rev. Wright from the pulpit, word for word, without changing a thing, he'd be called a loon and a danger. Now imagine if he repeated them but tossed in some anti-black statements just for fun; imagine the uproar.

It would never end.

Again - oh, and it's almost painful to me -  but again, referencing Coulter, note that in Obama's speech he vilifies his white Grandmother as "[one who] on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe" while excusing Wright's comments as the result of racism he experienced.

A) his Grandmother couldn't have been too much of a racist, given that she raised, fed, housed, educated, and LOVED her half-black Grandson.

and

B) Wright was 12 years old and attending a integrated school by the time Brown V. Education took place. He may indeed have felt the sting of racism, but it was not all-pervasive as Obama hints.

I don't have the time or space to argue this to its full conclusion, but I think its poppycock to say America ignores the subject of race. We don't; what we ignore is that as time goes on it has become more and more a one way conversation.

White racism still exists, to be be sure; it hasn't slipped away into the ether.

But in response we have sadly allowed the establishment of a seperate - but unequal - culture that has a free pass to practice racism of its own.

I thought the goal of generations of Americans, both black and white, was the establishment of an equal society capable of frank and open discussions on race.

What we've acheived is a twisted and incomplete version of that; a divided culture content to spin its wheels without searching for a common ground or a way to improve relations.

And that itself is more frightening than anything Rev. Wright - or even Obama's maligned Grandmother - have ever said.

 

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Happy Birthday to . . well, me!

I'm now 3 minutes into my 34th birthday. As usual, the phone rang at midnight.

"Ugh. I can't believe work would call you again this late." Lisa said.

"What are you talking about? It's midnight," I said. Duh!

As anticipated, it was my Mom, who always calls at midnight at the start and end of my birthday to wish me well.

And thus, the annual celebration of what will [eventually] become a national holiday begins anew.

I'll fill you in on all the fun later.

[Quote of the day: Lisa looked over one of the kids schoolwork. "You Catholics are a trip. Look at this coloring book - twelve pages about "Jesus fell", "Jesus was whipped" and "Jesus was nailed to the cross" and then what's on the last page? "Benny the Bunny has a huge Easter egg. Can you help him color it? Happy Easter!" LOL . In fairness, I think the teacher added the bunny pic ;)]

* * *

In the meantime . . .

I thought I'd start the day with some pictures taken in September of 1975, when I was eighteen months old. The pics were taken by my Godmother's husband (Uncle George) as part of a photography course he was taking at the time.

Take a look at this next one and tell me Smiley doesn't resemble his Daddy!

Check out the pants in these proofs! The girl in the photos is my sister Katie, six months old at the time.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Smiley's 1st Field trip 3/18/08

Having joined the class midyear, Smiley was treated to his first field trip a mere week into his scholastic career. He went to the zoo, and Lisa chaperoned.

For the day Lis bought him a Spiderman lunchbox, which he went nuts over. He also went nuts over FINALLY riding a school bus!

According to Lisa the animals were in rare form, coming right up to the edge of the exhibits.

At the zoo the group split up. Technically Lisa was in charge only of Smiley, but in practice several parents and their kids grouped together.

Note the signs around the kids necks. They  put a sticker on each animal on the sign when they saw it in person.

Smiley had a blast, was well behaved, enjoyed the animals, and walked the whole day without complaint. Of course, he fell asleep on the bus on the way home!

A great introduction to field trips for the little guy!

Monday, March 17, 2008

On Obama, Rev. Wright, and my objection to restrictions on speech

Notice anything funny about this picture? Here's Barrack Hussein Obama, likely nominee for President, at age 46  . . .

and my daughter, recent candidate for K4 lunch line leader, at age 4

It is very old fashioned, but I do put an empasis on respecting the flag. I fly it from my front porch. I fly it at work. And I get disgusted by anyone careless or stupid enough to treat it like its just a colored piece of cloth. I don't let it touch the ground and I teach my kids to treat it the same.

If you are running for President, you should have no moral or social qualms about pledging allegiance to the nation you're trying to rule.

Period.

I'm perplexed by the recent controversy over Obama's spiritual leader and how relatively quietly the whole mess was settled.

On one blog I read a verbatim back and forth that took place on a university newsgroup. The Obama supporter continued to dismiss the importance of Rev. Wright's comments by comparing it to her own casual dismissal of Catholic teachings on birth control and the like.

Hmm. Whatever your stance on birth control I don't see how that compares to:

- stating  "No, no, no, not God bless America - God D**n America!"

- preaching that HIV is a plot to kill Blacks

- spouting various other rants against this country and both Caucasians and Jews 

Remember, up until this latest barrage Obama publicly embraced Wright as "like an old uncle who says things I don't always agree with". 

Nu-uh. He might get a pass on this issue because most of America wishes to avoid discussing race, no matter the cost, but I don't buy it. Put the shoe on the other foot; what if Hillary attended a church that routinely preached against Blacks, Hispanics, and denounced America; think it would all blow over within a week or two?

If he really objected to these sermons, as anyone of right mind, much less a Presidential candidate, should, then he should have left the church. Hypocritically, that's what the Obama supporter admitted she did - she left the Catholic church over disagreements with their preaching on birth control and abortion.

But Obama didn't think of leaving a church that preached hate and anti-American sentiment? As late as December of last year Obama was still appointing Wright to a campaign leadership committee.

Really???

* * *

I am glad Wright was asked to move out of the limelight of the Obama campaign because of all the reasons listed above.

Aside from that, I  whole-heartedly object to the recent spate of forced resignations on both sides.

Someone says something harsh about their candidates opponent, the media and the opposition have a tizzy, a resignation is accepted. It's happened for both Obama and Clinton (with the most famous being the Ferraro backlash).

Here's my take:

A. This is America. Let 'em talk.

B. This is American politics. Like it or hate it, aggressive attacks are part of the game. Live with it.

C. None of these people (again, Wright isn't part of this equation) said anything so horrible as to warrant the attention they've received. Frankly, I don't think they're saying anything a vast number of their supporters haven't already thought.

So far the motto of the year is "shut your mouth, don't mention race or gender, and if you dare speak, have your resume ready".

Way to promote free speech. Woo-hoo!

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Picture with the Easter Bunny 2008

We took the kids to have their picture taken with the Easter Bunny at the local Walgreens this Saturday. It went surprisingly well. 1-2-3-Cheese and click, that was it. Simple as pie.

Picking up the free 5x7 today was a different experience, but who cares.

If you're a family member that wants a hard copy of the picture I'd be happy to email you the file. I don't believe it's covered under any copyright laws, since it was rather an informal setup. Just let me know.

Stupid Human Tricks Dept.- Here's an odd talent of LuLu's

She can jam a complete crayon between her top and bottom lips, to the point wher she resembles a fish. Neat huh?


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Some Comedy Sites to Check out

Has anyone noticed that the AOL people connection page, which lists 'recently updated blogs' has been taken over by spam? Twice in the last day the list of blogs was dominated by spam generating journals. AOL needs to get on the ball.

Anyway, I wanted to introduce you, fair reader, to two new sites of note. Both are humourous but probably an aquired taste. Proceed at your own risk. .

The first, Stuff White People Like, is either a self-deprecating, tongue in cheek creation of a white guy, or a mildy insulting, very funning page written by a minority. Either way, it's a great read. I'm kind of hoping it is written by a minority, because then my acceptance of the humour, as I shrug off the insult without overreacting, would definitely fall among the life habits White People Like.

"It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement,  . .

Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority.

It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity - like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.

Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people."

OR

The most time and cost efficient way of gaining a white person’s trust and friendship is to talk to them about their time in high school.

Virtually every white person you meet was a nerd in a high school-it it is how they were able to get into a good arts program and law school. As such, their memories of high school are painful, but not tragic since they were able to eventually find success in the real world. . .

If you cannot properly gauge the type of music a white person liked in high school, you should always say that you were really into The Cure. All white people know that liking The Cure in high school is an invitation to be tortured by the cool kids.  . .

It is also acceptable to discuss how you were in love with a cool kid who never loved you back."

* * * * *

I'd also recommend A Site of Jean's Own, featuring the world renowned wisdom of Jean Teasdale, long time columnist for the renowned Onion, America's Finest News Source.

"If you're considering starting your own business, keep a few things in mind. First, you can't call in sick, and you may have to work very long hours, even if no customers show up for the entire day. Second, be prepared for weeks, or even months, to go by before you clear $50 a week in sales. Third, consider that you may have to rethink your business plan, even though you devoted a whole month to creating it.

I gotta say, Jeanketeers, after two months of helping my dad run his Off-Season Santa store, I'm ready to throw in the towel—and the giant plastic candy canes, and the colored lights, and anything else in our store that isn't nailed down! Frankly, Dad and I overestimated the level of year-round yuletide cheer in our community. We're lucky if we get three serious customers a day (and by serious, I mean people willing to pose for a photo with Dad/Santa or buy a Christmas knickknack). Mostly, Dad and I sit around in our costumes playing Go Fish and Crazy Eights.

I don't get it. We've made Santa Claus' lap available seven days a week, 365 days a year, but no one seems to care! You'd think, what with the war, that people would be chomping at the bit for a little whimsy and delight! True, we're located in a dilapidated strip mall in a seedy part of town, but people have cars, don't they?"

It's a pip!

Oh, andI love this article from the Onion:

Novelists Strike Fails To Affect Nation Whatsoever

LOS ANGELES—The Novelists Guild of America strike, now entering its fourth month, has had no impact on the nation at all, sources reported Tuesday.

The strike, which scholars say could be the longest since 1951, when American novelists may or may not have voluntarily committed to a six-month work stoppage, has brought an immediate halt to all new novels, novellas, and novelettes from coast to coast, affecting no one.

Nor has America's economy seen any adverse effects whatsoever, as consumers easily adjust to the sudden cessation of any bold new sprawling works of fiction or taut psychological character studies.

"There's a novelists strike?" Ames, IA consumer Carl Hailes said. "That's terrible. When is it scheduled to begin?"